I didn't know which way to run. One foot went this way, the other went that way. My knees faltered and locked. I fell to the ground in a mess of tears. I wanted to keep myself open, but instead I cowered in fear. I whimpered when two strong hands grabbed the tops of my arms and lifted me up to my feet. My cries came out in staggered breaths; I hyperventilated. The strong arms pulled me into a hug.
"Oh my fucking...." the voice said, but didn't finish. "Kodi, I swear if I wasn't so happy to see you, I'd kill you right now." I peered up through my blinding tears at him. Even though I could barely see, I could still see his beautiful features. His short brown hair, amazing brown eyes, and the small hint of a smile.
Shiloh.
I couldn't say anything. I just tightened my grip around his waist and cried my eyes out. He rubbed soothing circles in my back with his arm and whispered in my ear.
"You're ok now. You're ok now." I nodded, even though I wasn't sure those words were true. He was going to take me back. Back to where either Ty or Dad would quite literally kill me. I calmed down after a long while, and we sat down on the couch in the hospital lobby.
"I can't go back," I sniffed.
"Why?" Shiloh frowned.
"They'll kill me," I managed to say before another round of hysterics swept me away.
"No one's going to kill you," he said, sounding like when a parent tries to assure there are no monsters under their bed. I just shook my head and leaned into another hug. I didn't know what to say, so we sat their in silence for a long time. Then he tried to ask the obvious question.
"Why'd you leave?" he asked. I stood up, and fiddled with my fingers, trying to figure out how to tell the story lightly.
"Well, uh..." I said. All of a sudden a nurse came up behind me, and put her hand on my shoulder.
"You can go see him now," she said quietly, then smiled and left. I blushed, and turned back to Shiloh. I could almost see him jumping to conclusion in his mind.
"I'll show you," I said. I took Shiloh's hand in mine and walked down the hall, to the room I had been informed Chance was being held. The door was closed, and I took a deep breath. I squeezed Shiloh's hand once before opening the door.
My baby was asleep in one of those incubator/bed things that they put babies in after their first born. There were two humidifiers by his bed; one on either side. He was asleep, and I was relieved to hear that his breathing was easing up and didn't sound so labored anymore. He yawned, and stretched his tiny little hands above his head and then curled them into fists. My heart melted and I went to his side, and stroked his thin, soft dark hair.
I looked up, and saw Shiloh standing there, absolutely shocked.
"But... I... I don't understand," he said. "So, it was true?!"
"What was true?" I asked.
"Ty. One of his friends... Dalton said Ty had raped you. Then he threatened you to stay quiet about it. When you went missing, he told the police that he feared Ty killed you or something."
"He told the police?!" I questioned. Shiloh nodded. "But..." I stopped.
"Kodi. Ty is in jail."
I didn't know what to say. On the one hand, I was ecstatic that Ty got what he deserved. But on the other hand, he was also in jail for possible murder.
"You need to tell them the truth. He shouldn't go for murder," I said. Shiloh furrowed his eyebrows.
"What do you mean? Why can't you tell them?" he asked. The tone in his voice told me he knew what I was getting at.
"Shiloh, I don't think I can go back." He clenched his fists.
"Why?!" he shouted. Chance woke up and whimpered. I held his tiny little hand in mine.
"Because! What am I going to do?! I leave for almost a year, and come back with a kid?! What are people going to think?!"
"Who cares what people are going to think?! You can go home! Go back to school! And get a life!" I rolled my eyes.
"And what about Chance?! And I can't go back home! Dad said if I ever had a kid before marriage he'd kill me! I'm sure he means it too!" I shouted back.
"Adoption?!" Shiloh said, as if it was an obvious answer. I cringed. The thought of giving up my baby for a second time frightened me. It made me sick.
"No," I said firmly. He sighed.
"You know what? Whatever. We'll talk about this later. I just... I just want to enjoy this time with you. Let's go." I pursed my lips and studied him. "What? C'mon, I said." I did not move. Shiloh sighed. "We'll go get a motel room or something," he explained. I nodded, and slowly turned my gaze back to Chance.
Later, the nurse said Chance was free to go home. Shiloh paid for the bill, even though I insisted that I could work there or something to pay it off. Afterwards, Shiloh, Chance and I got in his car. I breathed in the sweet smell of his car, something I'd missed so much.
"Ok, so where have you been staying?" he asked. I gave him the directions, and he turned through streets and streets, until we were at the parking lot my car had been parked in for months. I got out, still holding Chance, and went to get my stuff. Shiloh out, and disbelief was all over his face.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" he asked. I just shook my head, and got my suitcase, pillow, and blankets out of the car. I gently set Chance down on the seat, while I put back all my belongings into the suitcase. I picked him back up, and Shiloh put my stuff into his trunk.
"Kodi, you are ridiculous," he said, shaking his head as we drove to the nearest motel. I pouted, and held Chance closer. "I just don't understand why you'd rather live in a car, than back at home."
"I told you why," I said. He rolled his eyes. "An; besides. I didn't always live in my car. I actually had everything going quite fine until you put up those 'missing' posters," I accused.
"Oh, sorry!" he sneered. "I was terrified that you might be dead! I wasn't worried about screwing up a double life you might be living or whatever the hell you want to call it!" I bit my lip I didn't want to lash out at Shiloh. Even though we were pissed at each other, I was still super happy to see him.
We got to the motel, and it felt nice to be in an actual house of some sort. First, I gave chance a bath. I wrapped him up in one of my sweaters. Shiloh had gone to get diapers, which I thanked him for too. I emptied my suitcase once more, and carefully put Chance in it, with my pillow in there to prop him up. Then I took a shower, the first real shower in months.
When I got out, I was truly surprised to see Shiloh sitting on the couch, holding Chance. The man, who not even an hour ago had suggested adoption, cuddled Chance and talked to him in the way most people talk to babies; with their voice up an octave. He obviously hadn't heard me come in, and he rocked Chance lightly and smiled at him. I walked over to them, and sat down next to Shiloh. He looked kind of embarrassed at first, but then smiled back at Chance.
"He's beautiful," he said lovingly. He looked back at me. "He looks just like you." I blushed, and shrugged. "What's his name again?" he asked.
"Chance," I told him quietly. He nodded, processing my reply.
"I like it." Then he handed me Chance, who was slowly drifting to sleep. "I got him some diapers, and I picked out some clothes for him too. I think they'll fit." He picked up a pair of light blue pajamas, and handed them to me. I dressed Chance in his first pair of actual clothes, and an actual diaper.
"I should probably call Sicily..." Shiloh said, holding his phone in his hand. He checked the time. "Oops. Never mind. We'll call her tomorrow." I wish he hadn't said that. Now I wouldn't be able to sleep, knowing I'd be seeing my best friend for the first time in almost a year. I wanted to scream with delight.
Shiloh said he'd sleep on the couch; I could sleep on the bed. I brought Chance's "bed" to the bed by me, and put it on top of the large dresser by the bed. He slept peacefully, not stirring at all. His breathing had gotten a lot better too. Only about every twenty minutes he'd cough, and you could hear the sound of crud dislodging in his throat. It sounded like he'd be completely better in a couple days.
I laid down on the bed, and radiated in the feeling of having an actual bed under me tonight. I fell asleep blissfully.
***
When I woke up, I felt absolutely re-energized. I got up, and saw that Chance was still asleep. I yawned and went to the kitchen area. Shiloh was already up, and he was talking into his cellphone quietly. He smiled and waved when I came, and I smiled back at him.
"...Actually, she just woke up. Wanna talk to her?" He squinted his eye and held the phone away from him as loud shouts blasted from the phone. I gulped as he handed me the phone.
"Hello...?" I said warily into the phone. I cringed back as the piercing screams made their way into my ear.
"KODI?! OHMIGOD! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!?! I'M ON MY WAY! DUDE, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE MISSED YOU?!"
"Hi Sicily," I muttered into the phone.
"UGH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HELL YOU PUT US THROUGH?!"
"I'm sorry. I'll explain everything once you get here."
"YOU SURE AS HELL WILL!" she groaned. "I gotta go, I'm driving." She hung up. I bit my lip, and looked to Shiloh. He smiled.
"She missed you. We all did."
"I'm sorry..." I said. He said nothing.
***
About four hours later, Sicily finally showed up. Chance was down for his nap, out of sight. I stood near the couch, and Shiloh went to get the door. Tiny little Sicily pushed her way past him into the room. Her eyes fell right on me, hate boiling in them.
"OH MY GOD, KODI!" She said. All the hostility in her melted, and she brought me into the tightest hug I'd ever had. I gasped for air, and she let go. Then the anger returned. She punched my arm with a great force on her part.
"Ow!" I protested.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!" she shouted. "WHAT ON EARTH MADE YOU JUST PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION?!" Shiloh returned from the bedroom; I didn't even know he had left.
"This did," he said. In his arms, was Chance. Apparently he had been woken up from Sicily's screams. It seemed like he knew that sh had done all the shouting; the look on his face as he scanned Sicily said "dear Lord. Shut. Her. Up."
"What the..." she said. Shiloh handed me Chance, and I held him close to me. I knew Sicily wouldn't hit me again if I had a baby in my arms. Her expression softened.
"It was true..." she whispered. Shiloh nodded.
Shiloh and I sat on the couch, while Sicily paced back and forth in front of us.
"...That mother-fucking..." she groaned. "I'm going to kick his ass! He's gonna wish he'd never been born that no good, useless bastard..." she continued on like this for about ten minutes. Then she had calmed down enough me to explain the basics without much detail.
"So let me get this straight. Ty raped you. You became pregnant. You left, afraid that him or your dad would send you to your grave. You went to that one town where that chick called us saying you were there. You left, had the baby, ended up in the hospital from him getting sick, the secretary called Shiloh, and then he brought you here?" I ran over her words in my head, then nodded. "AND ALL THIS TIME YOU DIDN'T TELL US?!"
"I was afraid you'd bring me back!" I insisted. "I never wanted to leave you guys! You both should know that. Do you have any idea how much it killed me when I got a text from you guys, or I saw those posters you put up?" Sicily sighed, shaking her head.
"Fine. Let's all just agree that this whole 'plan' of yours was stupid, irresponsible, and insane. You could've died!" she shouted. Chance grabbed a fistful of my hair, and mumbled. Sicily turned her attention to him, and sighed.
"Well, one thing's for sure. He is pretty cute."
"You wanna hold him?" I asked. She nodded. I passed Chance to Sicily, undoing his pudgy little fingers from my hair. Sicily held him lovingly, and he looked up at her. He looked scared for a moment, but soon seemed as comfortable with her as he was with Shiloh. My smile faded as a thought creeped into my mind.
"Guys? Did... Did my dad say... anything?" I asked. Their smiles disappeared as well, and they looked to each other for answers.
"Uhh... Well..." Shiloh began. He scratched his head.
"No," Sicily finished. "When you stopped showing up to school, we went to your house one day. He answered. We asked if you were home, and he just said he didn't know where you were."
"Months after you'd gone missing, he... He told us he didn't care," Shiloh said sheepishly. I hung my head.
"I'm sorry Kodi," Sicily said sympathetically. I stubbornly wiped a tear away, turning so they couldn't see.
"It's fine. It doesn't matter," I said, trying to keep my voice even. Inside it felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me.
"Oh my fucking...." the voice said, but didn't finish. "Kodi, I swear if I wasn't so happy to see you, I'd kill you right now." I peered up through my blinding tears at him. Even though I could barely see, I could still see his beautiful features. His short brown hair, amazing brown eyes, and the small hint of a smile.
Shiloh.
I couldn't say anything. I just tightened my grip around his waist and cried my eyes out. He rubbed soothing circles in my back with his arm and whispered in my ear.
"You're ok now. You're ok now." I nodded, even though I wasn't sure those words were true. He was going to take me back. Back to where either Ty or Dad would quite literally kill me. I calmed down after a long while, and we sat down on the couch in the hospital lobby.
"I can't go back," I sniffed.
"Why?" Shiloh frowned.
"They'll kill me," I managed to say before another round of hysterics swept me away.
"No one's going to kill you," he said, sounding like when a parent tries to assure there are no monsters under their bed. I just shook my head and leaned into another hug. I didn't know what to say, so we sat their in silence for a long time. Then he tried to ask the obvious question.
"Why'd you leave?" he asked. I stood up, and fiddled with my fingers, trying to figure out how to tell the story lightly.
"Well, uh..." I said. All of a sudden a nurse came up behind me, and put her hand on my shoulder.
"You can go see him now," she said quietly, then smiled and left. I blushed, and turned back to Shiloh. I could almost see him jumping to conclusion in his mind.
"I'll show you," I said. I took Shiloh's hand in mine and walked down the hall, to the room I had been informed Chance was being held. The door was closed, and I took a deep breath. I squeezed Shiloh's hand once before opening the door.
My baby was asleep in one of those incubator/bed things that they put babies in after their first born. There were two humidifiers by his bed; one on either side. He was asleep, and I was relieved to hear that his breathing was easing up and didn't sound so labored anymore. He yawned, and stretched his tiny little hands above his head and then curled them into fists. My heart melted and I went to his side, and stroked his thin, soft dark hair.
I looked up, and saw Shiloh standing there, absolutely shocked.
"But... I... I don't understand," he said. "So, it was true?!"
"What was true?" I asked.
"Ty. One of his friends... Dalton said Ty had raped you. Then he threatened you to stay quiet about it. When you went missing, he told the police that he feared Ty killed you or something."
"He told the police?!" I questioned. Shiloh nodded. "But..." I stopped.
"Kodi. Ty is in jail."
I didn't know what to say. On the one hand, I was ecstatic that Ty got what he deserved. But on the other hand, he was also in jail for possible murder.
"You need to tell them the truth. He shouldn't go for murder," I said. Shiloh furrowed his eyebrows.
"What do you mean? Why can't you tell them?" he asked. The tone in his voice told me he knew what I was getting at.
"Shiloh, I don't think I can go back." He clenched his fists.
"Why?!" he shouted. Chance woke up and whimpered. I held his tiny little hand in mine.
"Because! What am I going to do?! I leave for almost a year, and come back with a kid?! What are people going to think?!"
"Who cares what people are going to think?! You can go home! Go back to school! And get a life!" I rolled my eyes.
"And what about Chance?! And I can't go back home! Dad said if I ever had a kid before marriage he'd kill me! I'm sure he means it too!" I shouted back.
"Adoption?!" Shiloh said, as if it was an obvious answer. I cringed. The thought of giving up my baby for a second time frightened me. It made me sick.
"No," I said firmly. He sighed.
"You know what? Whatever. We'll talk about this later. I just... I just want to enjoy this time with you. Let's go." I pursed my lips and studied him. "What? C'mon, I said." I did not move. Shiloh sighed. "We'll go get a motel room or something," he explained. I nodded, and slowly turned my gaze back to Chance.
Later, the nurse said Chance was free to go home. Shiloh paid for the bill, even though I insisted that I could work there or something to pay it off. Afterwards, Shiloh, Chance and I got in his car. I breathed in the sweet smell of his car, something I'd missed so much.
"Ok, so where have you been staying?" he asked. I gave him the directions, and he turned through streets and streets, until we were at the parking lot my car had been parked in for months. I got out, still holding Chance, and went to get my stuff. Shiloh out, and disbelief was all over his face.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" he asked. I just shook my head, and got my suitcase, pillow, and blankets out of the car. I gently set Chance down on the seat, while I put back all my belongings into the suitcase. I picked him back up, and Shiloh put my stuff into his trunk.
"Kodi, you are ridiculous," he said, shaking his head as we drove to the nearest motel. I pouted, and held Chance closer. "I just don't understand why you'd rather live in a car, than back at home."
"I told you why," I said. He rolled his eyes. "An; besides. I didn't always live in my car. I actually had everything going quite fine until you put up those 'missing' posters," I accused.
"Oh, sorry!" he sneered. "I was terrified that you might be dead! I wasn't worried about screwing up a double life you might be living or whatever the hell you want to call it!" I bit my lip I didn't want to lash out at Shiloh. Even though we were pissed at each other, I was still super happy to see him.
We got to the motel, and it felt nice to be in an actual house of some sort. First, I gave chance a bath. I wrapped him up in one of my sweaters. Shiloh had gone to get diapers, which I thanked him for too. I emptied my suitcase once more, and carefully put Chance in it, with my pillow in there to prop him up. Then I took a shower, the first real shower in months.
When I got out, I was truly surprised to see Shiloh sitting on the couch, holding Chance. The man, who not even an hour ago had suggested adoption, cuddled Chance and talked to him in the way most people talk to babies; with their voice up an octave. He obviously hadn't heard me come in, and he rocked Chance lightly and smiled at him. I walked over to them, and sat down next to Shiloh. He looked kind of embarrassed at first, but then smiled back at Chance.
"He's beautiful," he said lovingly. He looked back at me. "He looks just like you." I blushed, and shrugged. "What's his name again?" he asked.
"Chance," I told him quietly. He nodded, processing my reply.
"I like it." Then he handed me Chance, who was slowly drifting to sleep. "I got him some diapers, and I picked out some clothes for him too. I think they'll fit." He picked up a pair of light blue pajamas, and handed them to me. I dressed Chance in his first pair of actual clothes, and an actual diaper.
"I should probably call Sicily..." Shiloh said, holding his phone in his hand. He checked the time. "Oops. Never mind. We'll call her tomorrow." I wish he hadn't said that. Now I wouldn't be able to sleep, knowing I'd be seeing my best friend for the first time in almost a year. I wanted to scream with delight.
Shiloh said he'd sleep on the couch; I could sleep on the bed. I brought Chance's "bed" to the bed by me, and put it on top of the large dresser by the bed. He slept peacefully, not stirring at all. His breathing had gotten a lot better too. Only about every twenty minutes he'd cough, and you could hear the sound of crud dislodging in his throat. It sounded like he'd be completely better in a couple days.
I laid down on the bed, and radiated in the feeling of having an actual bed under me tonight. I fell asleep blissfully.
***
When I woke up, I felt absolutely re-energized. I got up, and saw that Chance was still asleep. I yawned and went to the kitchen area. Shiloh was already up, and he was talking into his cellphone quietly. He smiled and waved when I came, and I smiled back at him.
"...Actually, she just woke up. Wanna talk to her?" He squinted his eye and held the phone away from him as loud shouts blasted from the phone. I gulped as he handed me the phone.
"Hello...?" I said warily into the phone. I cringed back as the piercing screams made their way into my ear.
"KODI?! OHMIGOD! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!?! I'M ON MY WAY! DUDE, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE MISSED YOU?!"
"Hi Sicily," I muttered into the phone.
"UGH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HELL YOU PUT US THROUGH?!"
"I'm sorry. I'll explain everything once you get here."
"YOU SURE AS HELL WILL!" she groaned. "I gotta go, I'm driving." She hung up. I bit my lip, and looked to Shiloh. He smiled.
"She missed you. We all did."
"I'm sorry..." I said. He said nothing.
***
About four hours later, Sicily finally showed up. Chance was down for his nap, out of sight. I stood near the couch, and Shiloh went to get the door. Tiny little Sicily pushed her way past him into the room. Her eyes fell right on me, hate boiling in them.
"OH MY GOD, KODI!" She said. All the hostility in her melted, and she brought me into the tightest hug I'd ever had. I gasped for air, and she let go. Then the anger returned. She punched my arm with a great force on her part.
"Ow!" I protested.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!" she shouted. "WHAT ON EARTH MADE YOU JUST PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION?!" Shiloh returned from the bedroom; I didn't even know he had left.
"This did," he said. In his arms, was Chance. Apparently he had been woken up from Sicily's screams. It seemed like he knew that sh had done all the shouting; the look on his face as he scanned Sicily said "dear Lord. Shut. Her. Up."
"What the..." she said. Shiloh handed me Chance, and I held him close to me. I knew Sicily wouldn't hit me again if I had a baby in my arms. Her expression softened.
"It was true..." she whispered. Shiloh nodded.
Shiloh and I sat on the couch, while Sicily paced back and forth in front of us.
"...That mother-fucking..." she groaned. "I'm going to kick his ass! He's gonna wish he'd never been born that no good, useless bastard..." she continued on like this for about ten minutes. Then she had calmed down enough me to explain the basics without much detail.
"So let me get this straight. Ty raped you. You became pregnant. You left, afraid that him or your dad would send you to your grave. You went to that one town where that chick called us saying you were there. You left, had the baby, ended up in the hospital from him getting sick, the secretary called Shiloh, and then he brought you here?" I ran over her words in my head, then nodded. "AND ALL THIS TIME YOU DIDN'T TELL US?!"
"I was afraid you'd bring me back!" I insisted. "I never wanted to leave you guys! You both should know that. Do you have any idea how much it killed me when I got a text from you guys, or I saw those posters you put up?" Sicily sighed, shaking her head.
"Fine. Let's all just agree that this whole 'plan' of yours was stupid, irresponsible, and insane. You could've died!" she shouted. Chance grabbed a fistful of my hair, and mumbled. Sicily turned her attention to him, and sighed.
"Well, one thing's for sure. He is pretty cute."
"You wanna hold him?" I asked. She nodded. I passed Chance to Sicily, undoing his pudgy little fingers from my hair. Sicily held him lovingly, and he looked up at her. He looked scared for a moment, but soon seemed as comfortable with her as he was with Shiloh. My smile faded as a thought creeped into my mind.
"Guys? Did... Did my dad say... anything?" I asked. Their smiles disappeared as well, and they looked to each other for answers.
"Uhh... Well..." Shiloh began. He scratched his head.
"No," Sicily finished. "When you stopped showing up to school, we went to your house one day. He answered. We asked if you were home, and he just said he didn't know where you were."
"Months after you'd gone missing, he... He told us he didn't care," Shiloh said sheepishly. I hung my head.
"I'm sorry Kodi," Sicily said sympathetically. I stubbornly wiped a tear away, turning so they couldn't see.
"It's fine. It doesn't matter," I said, trying to keep my voice even. Inside it felt like all the wind had been knocked out of me.
Jaycee's POV
I lay there besides Liana, she is sleeping, I rest my hand on her soft delicate face, she stirrs in her sleep. Her eyes flutter open and she gaze's at me.
"Mmmmm, Mommy wh-where are we?" She asks. "Texas" I reply. She looks around, blood is spattered everywhere no is around except the dead boddies. She screams stands up and starts to panic. "Li, Li Calm down!" I say calmly. "Wha-What happened!!!" I sighed, I couldnt belive she cant remember. "Were isolated in a tiny town in texas remember?????" I asked. She paused thought for a minute and shook her head.
I lay there besides Liana, she is sleeping, I rest my hand on her soft delicate face, she stirrs in her sleep. Her eyes flutter open and she gaze's at me.
"Mmmmm, Mommy wh-where are we?" She asks. "Texas" I reply. She looks around, blood is spattered everywhere no is around except the dead boddies. She screams stands up and starts to panic. "Li, Li Calm down!" I say calmly. "Wha-What happened!!!" I sighed, I couldnt belive she cant remember. "Were isolated in a tiny town in texas remember?????" I asked. She paused thought for a minute and shook her head.