Serena
"Sign here, great. Sit down anywhere you'd like," a falsely cheerful, bleached blonde receptionist says.
I sit down on a plastic chair in the corner, next to a large plastic fern.
It's all just a nightmare. If I get the abortion, it will all go away, and everything will be fine, I try to convince myself. I give up eventually. What if my own mother, who was in a very similar situation to the one I am in now, had decided not t have me?
My thoughts are interrupted as a young looking woman with a small toddler on her hip walks up to me. I am the only other person here.
"Could you please hold Gina while I go sign in?" The woman asks me. I nodd, unable to do anything else. She carefully passes me the pixie-like little girl with light brown hair cut into a bob and sky blue eyes.
"My mommy likes violets," Gina announces, giving me a handful of crushed violets.
"I'll bet she does," I mutter.
"Are you a mommy?"
"I don't know," I admit. And I don't.
Gina feels my hair.
"Your hair is soft. Like my new Barbie's. Not like my old Barbie's," Gina says, making a face.
"And she says if I be good today, we can go buy me a brand new little Kelly doll. But I don't want Kelly to be Barbie's cousin. So I'm gonna make Barbie be her mommy," she continues.
"Thank you so much," the mother says, magically appearing in front of me. She picks Gina up and says to me, "I hope she didn't drive you crazy."
"She didn't. She actually opened my eyes," I tell her, and with that, I run out of the clinic.
The violets are still in my hand.
"Sign here, great. Sit down anywhere you'd like," a falsely cheerful, bleached blonde receptionist says.
I sit down on a plastic chair in the corner, next to a large plastic fern.
It's all just a nightmare. If I get the abortion, it will all go away, and everything will be fine, I try to convince myself. I give up eventually. What if my own mother, who was in a very similar situation to the one I am in now, had decided not t have me?
My thoughts are interrupted as a young looking woman with a small toddler on her hip walks up to me. I am the only other person here.
"Could you please hold Gina while I go sign in?" The woman asks me. I nodd, unable to do anything else. She carefully passes me the pixie-like little girl with light brown hair cut into a bob and sky blue eyes.
"My mommy likes violets," Gina announces, giving me a handful of crushed violets.
"I'll bet she does," I mutter.
"Are you a mommy?"
"I don't know," I admit. And I don't.
Gina feels my hair.
"Your hair is soft. Like my new Barbie's. Not like my old Barbie's," Gina says, making a face.
"And she says if I be good today, we can go buy me a brand new little Kelly doll. But I don't want Kelly to be Barbie's cousin. So I'm gonna make Barbie be her mommy," she continues.
"Thank you so much," the mother says, magically appearing in front of me. She picks Gina up and says to me, "I hope she didn't drive you crazy."
"She didn't. She actually opened my eyes," I tell her, and with that, I run out of the clinic.
The violets are still in my hand.
inch by inch
bringing me closer
to my doom
butterflies of
anticipation
flutter nervously
in my stomach
knuckles whiten
jaws clench
what have I
gotten myself into
the suspense
is killing me
I'm going to hate it
I'm going to love it
I might lose my lunch
but I don't care
heaven help me
here it comes...
...
I hold my breath...
...
and then
I scream
my stomach
drops
my breath
is stolen
my heart
is pounding
adrenaline
courses
through
my veins
amid screams
of sweet terror
I fling up
my hands
and ride on
the wings
of Thrill!
I remember the day I fell in love.
Not just simple love.
No, this was head over heels, I'd die for you love.
I remember where I fell in love.
A small middle school in a small town.
A place you could easily miss.
I remember the my matchmaker.
A short women, but with more fire then you could ever imagine.
More passion for what she does then I had ever seen.
I remember my girlfriends who were with me.
My athletic, sassy, fun-loving chicks.
My flirting consultants.
I remember him.
Good God, he was beautiful.
Yes, I remember the day I fell in love.
True Love.
Head over heels love.
With..................
Basketball.
--------------------------------
This is dedicated to my first real basketball coach. She taught me not just how to play basketball, but how to be part of a team. I have so much respect for her and I know I should thank her everyday for helping me fall in love. For Coach Joy.
Not just simple love.
No, this was head over heels, I'd die for you love.
I remember where I fell in love.
A small middle school in a small town.
A place you could easily miss.
I remember the my matchmaker.
A short women, but with more fire then you could ever imagine.
More passion for what she does then I had ever seen.
I remember my girlfriends who were with me.
My athletic, sassy, fun-loving chicks.
My flirting consultants.
I remember him.
Good God, he was beautiful.
Yes, I remember the day I fell in love.
True Love.
Head over heels love.
With..................
Basketball.
--------------------------------
This is dedicated to my first real basketball coach. She taught me not just how to play basketball, but how to be part of a team. I have so much respect for her and I know I should thank her everyday for helping me fall in love. For Coach Joy.
Just a poem. I hope it isn't much of a bother to rate.
I dream of all things
Uncertain of dark deeds and pasts
Within these thoughts as dark as sea
When once those wings of black
Hung over all
Shadowing but of the wretched white
That blinds me of all beauty.
I dream of all things
From happiness to highs
Let down these pills
Or I’m gone, retreat inside my mind
Where none but the darkest thoughts
Swallowing twilight
I dream of all things
From the stories told by hidden scars
Unable to show themselves
Under this intense scrutiny
That makes up this world’s attire
To the times that I could be happy
Without a drug to create
The much-needed illusion...
I dream of all things
No matter of their contents
Because, well,
Nightmares are still dreams.
I dream of all things
Uncertain of dark deeds and pasts
Within these thoughts as dark as sea
When once those wings of black
Hung over all
Shadowing but of the wretched white
That blinds me of all beauty.
I dream of all things
From happiness to highs
Let down these pills
Or I’m gone, retreat inside my mind
Where none but the darkest thoughts
Swallowing twilight
I dream of all things
From the stories told by hidden scars
Unable to show themselves
Under this intense scrutiny
That makes up this world’s attire
To the times that I could be happy
Without a drug to create
The much-needed illusion...
I dream of all things
No matter of their contents
Because, well,
Nightmares are still dreams.
Shaun
Three months later, we were apparently "an item".
She had me twisted around her little finger. She could have made me jump in front of a bus, all that was needed was one look from her "love me, you know you want to" chocolate brown eyes.
I paid attention to her every move, her every word.
**************************************************
When I first told her I loved her, I was expecting rejection, but she surprised me. She kissed me, and said she loved me too. The sun revolved around where she stood.
Nothing else mattered.
Three months later, we were apparently "an item".
She had me twisted around her little finger. She could have made me jump in front of a bus, all that was needed was one look from her "love me, you know you want to" chocolate brown eyes.
I paid attention to her every move, her every word.
**************************************************
When I first told her I loved her, I was expecting rejection, but she surprised me. She kissed me, and said she loved me too. The sun revolved around where she stood.
Nothing else mattered.