The next thing I new, I was back at school with Dusty, crying even harder as the story of the events that led up to me and Mattie splitting up fell out from my lips. Dustin was holding me even tighter, and as I looked up into his eyes for a glimmer of comfort, there was none. No happiness, no joy, no solace. All replaced with a intense and fiery spark I had never seen in him before.
A split second later he was standing me up, gripping my shoulders somewhat tightly, staring deep into my eyes with a rage that few people had probably ever even seen.
"Gracen, where's Matt?" The anger was quite evident. Seeing my Dusty like this kinds scared me, and the tears ran dry in my eyes as I gave him a horrified look.
"I-... I don't.." I stuttered out, but Dustin already had my hand in his and leading me away from our special place. I silently let him lead me along, hoping the confrontation that was coming wouldn't happen. But of course, it did. As soon as Dusty seen him, he let go of my hand and walked over to Matt, who wasn't paying him any attention.
"What the hell do you think you're doing," he yelled as he grabbed two handfuls of Matt's shirt, catching him off guard. And then he practically threw Matt to the ground, who hit with an almost sickening crunch on his arm. He squinted his eyes in pain and bared his teeth, but Dusty went on talking. "What the hell do you think you're doing treating him like that?!" He yelled it with such intensity, it caught me off guard.
"You know, I'm glad you messes things up with him," he went on, still yelling, although a little more hushed, "because you can't possibly deserve someone as amazing as him! You treated him just like some sex toy while he was falling for you. You make me sick." He finished, turning around to face me. I felt tears threaten to well up again, but this time, they were more happy then sad. Then I started walking, almost running to Dusty, before throwing myself in his arms and pushing my lips against his. It ended too soon for my liking, and he was then leading me away from the area, hand in hand. We ended up at his car. He opened the door for me to get in and gently closed it behind me.
"Why did you kiss me?" He asked. His voice sounded weird.. not mad, but something else.
"Because.. I.." I looked away shyly, but he turned me back around.
"Gracen.. Do you like me?" I blushed my confirmation to his question, and he looked away.
"You know, I've always kind of liked you." He looked over at me, smiling sadly. "But I don't want to be that way."
"What do you mean?" My voice quivered. I was an emotional wreck on the inside. I hope it didn't show too much.
"I mean, I don't want to be gay. I want to have a wife, a family. I can't have those things with another guy." He gave me a look. A look that said he meant every word of it. My heart sunk even lower, if that was even possible.
"What?" My voice was rising to a shout. "So where did all of those things you were saying come from? Were you just saying that to make me feel better?!" He looked completely guilty, staring down at the steering wheel of his car. A tear fell from my eye, but my voice stayed strong. "Why would you lead me on like that, making me think that you might've actually liked me too?"
"Gracen.. I'm so sorry." I didn't need sorry.
"Yeah. Me too." I climbed out of his car, slowly pushing it shut, before hurrying off to my car. The only thing I noticed the entire time was that Dustin didn't come after me.
-----
When I got home, all I could do was cry. My dad didn't even question why I was skipping school, and he even called me in as sick. It was a nice thing to do, but it didn't help. I felt lower than ever before. Everybody breaking my heart left and right.. I'm so tired of it. So I ate some oranges (my comfort food) at watched a lot of crappy TV for the rest of the day, my eyes still watery but no tears falling.
Later that night, I got the urge to go for a walk. To get away from it all. So I casually went to tell my dad where I was going and left. As I started walking, I thought about everything: Matt, Dustin.. Thought about them until me head hurt. I guess I had been walking for awhile, because now I was halfway across our little small town. I noticed a car drive by, a white convertible, but the top was on. It looked familiar. Then it hit me. It was the car that was at Matt's house. And no doubt, the guy who Matt cheated on me with was probably in it.
I was surprised when the car slowed to a stop a few feet ahead of me and put it in reverse until it stopped level with me. The blonde guy, who, now that I saw him up close, looked very cute, poked his head out the window. I was prepared for something harsh to be said, but instead I was met with a soft, caring voice.
"Hey. Do you need a ride?"
(To be continued...)
A split second later he was standing me up, gripping my shoulders somewhat tightly, staring deep into my eyes with a rage that few people had probably ever even seen.
"Gracen, where's Matt?" The anger was quite evident. Seeing my Dusty like this kinds scared me, and the tears ran dry in my eyes as I gave him a horrified look.
"I-... I don't.." I stuttered out, but Dustin already had my hand in his and leading me away from our special place. I silently let him lead me along, hoping the confrontation that was coming wouldn't happen. But of course, it did. As soon as Dusty seen him, he let go of my hand and walked over to Matt, who wasn't paying him any attention.
"What the hell do you think you're doing," he yelled as he grabbed two handfuls of Matt's shirt, catching him off guard. And then he practically threw Matt to the ground, who hit with an almost sickening crunch on his arm. He squinted his eyes in pain and bared his teeth, but Dusty went on talking. "What the hell do you think you're doing treating him like that?!" He yelled it with such intensity, it caught me off guard.
"You know, I'm glad you messes things up with him," he went on, still yelling, although a little more hushed, "because you can't possibly deserve someone as amazing as him! You treated him just like some sex toy while he was falling for you. You make me sick." He finished, turning around to face me. I felt tears threaten to well up again, but this time, they were more happy then sad. Then I started walking, almost running to Dusty, before throwing myself in his arms and pushing my lips against his. It ended too soon for my liking, and he was then leading me away from the area, hand in hand. We ended up at his car. He opened the door for me to get in and gently closed it behind me.
"Why did you kiss me?" He asked. His voice sounded weird.. not mad, but something else.
"Because.. I.." I looked away shyly, but he turned me back around.
"Gracen.. Do you like me?" I blushed my confirmation to his question, and he looked away.
"You know, I've always kind of liked you." He looked over at me, smiling sadly. "But I don't want to be that way."
"What do you mean?" My voice quivered. I was an emotional wreck on the inside. I hope it didn't show too much.
"I mean, I don't want to be gay. I want to have a wife, a family. I can't have those things with another guy." He gave me a look. A look that said he meant every word of it. My heart sunk even lower, if that was even possible.
"What?" My voice was rising to a shout. "So where did all of those things you were saying come from? Were you just saying that to make me feel better?!" He looked completely guilty, staring down at the steering wheel of his car. A tear fell from my eye, but my voice stayed strong. "Why would you lead me on like that, making me think that you might've actually liked me too?"
"Gracen.. I'm so sorry." I didn't need sorry.
"Yeah. Me too." I climbed out of his car, slowly pushing it shut, before hurrying off to my car. The only thing I noticed the entire time was that Dustin didn't come after me.
-----
When I got home, all I could do was cry. My dad didn't even question why I was skipping school, and he even called me in as sick. It was a nice thing to do, but it didn't help. I felt lower than ever before. Everybody breaking my heart left and right.. I'm so tired of it. So I ate some oranges (my comfort food) at watched a lot of crappy TV for the rest of the day, my eyes still watery but no tears falling.
Later that night, I got the urge to go for a walk. To get away from it all. So I casually went to tell my dad where I was going and left. As I started walking, I thought about everything: Matt, Dustin.. Thought about them until me head hurt. I guess I had been walking for awhile, because now I was halfway across our little small town. I noticed a car drive by, a white convertible, but the top was on. It looked familiar. Then it hit me. It was the car that was at Matt's house. And no doubt, the guy who Matt cheated on me with was probably in it.
I was surprised when the car slowed to a stop a few feet ahead of me and put it in reverse until it stopped level with me. The blonde guy, who, now that I saw him up close, looked very cute, poked his head out the window. I was prepared for something harsh to be said, but instead I was met with a soft, caring voice.
"Hey. Do you need a ride?"
(To be continued...)