Yami: So, Tea had a beautiful short red dress and looked amazing!
Kaiba: Yami…
Yami: So, I told her…
Kaiba: Yami…
Yami: That she is beautiful.
Kaiba: Yami: look!
[Then they saw where we are shown a tall building]
Yami: Wow, what is this?
Joey: Good morning! The Wheeler Towers is now opened for business.
Kaiba: More like Dorkland Towers to me.
Yami: Why did you build a hotel, Joey?
Joey: I'm glad you asked, man. Remember when Mai and I went to our vacation and stayed in that fancy hotel? We had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly.
[The employee wants the money from Joey but Joey gave a high-five and the employee glared at him]
They catered to my every whim, no matter how demeaning it was. Because they lived by a code. And that code was engraved in fine gold above the grand fireplace: "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request". Everything was perfect until Mai and I got the bill. [The boss gave him the bill] They charged us for everything. 25 bucks for a hamburger! [Joey takes out a whole burger from inside his body]
Mai: Ewww!
Joey: If they can charge that much for a lousy burger, imagine how much I could charge for a lousy food. And thus, a Wheeler Towers was born.
Kaiba: Why would anyone stay in a hotel in Domino City? It's in the middle of scenic nowhere. There's nothing to do but get stung by a bee. [a bee stings Kaiba on the head, Yami pushes the bump in and it goes to the other side of Kaiba's head]
Yami: Just come inside, Kaiba.
[now inside Wheeler Towers]
Joey: Isn't it beautiful?
Kaiba: Where are all the new hotel employees? [Joey throws uniforms onto him & Yami. Leon enters]
Joey: My first hotel guest. Watch me reel him in. [Kaiba glares at Joey as Joey walks behind desk] Welcome to the Wheeler Towers where our motto is "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request."
Leon: Oh, that's great. I'd like a burger with no onions and extra pickles.
Joey: If you want a burger, you'll have to rent a room and order room service.
Leon: Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch. [sighs and leaves]
Kaiba: Boy, you reeled in that one like a pro, Wheeler.
Joey: Ok, Kaiba, you man the front desk.
Yami Marik: I'd like a burger or I’ll send you to the shadow realm!
Kaiba: This is a hotel now. If you want a burger, you'll have to get a room and order room service.
Yami Marik: Ok, one burger and one room with cheese. Oh, and can I get cheese on the burger, too?
Kaiba: Marik, you only live at Marik’s bad side. Why do you want to check into a hotel?
Yami Marik: Sometimes I just need to get away from it all. [rings bell] Wow, this hotel has everything.
Kaiba: [takes bell] Gimme that! Now sign the register.
Yami Marik: I didn't know there would be a test. I didn't study. Damn you!!!
Kaiba: Marik, all you have to do is write your name.
Yami Marik: Oh, ok. [takes pen] Do you mind? [Kaiba turns around so Yami Marik starts writing. Kaiba peeks] Don't look! [Kaiba turns around] Done. [Yami Marik drew an destroy Domino City and himself]
Kaiba: Close enough. Here's your room key.
Yami Marik: I'll need some help with my bags.
Kaiba: How can you have bags? You just found out this is a hotel.
Yami Marik: This is a hotel?
Kaiba: D'oh...Yami!
Yami: Yes, Kaiba?
Kaiba: Take Marik and his bags to his room.
Yami Marik: What about my burger?
Kaiba: And bring him his crappy ass food.
Joey: Kaiba, you can take Marik's bags up to his room. Yami, you go make his burger.
Kaiba: But Wheeler...
Joey: What's the matter? Afraid of a little labor? [imitates Kaiba] I'm Seto Kaiba and I have to work for a living and my little brother. [imitates sobbing]
Kaiba: Fine! Let's go, Marik. [He has struggle with Yami Marik’s bags as he is walking up to the elevator]
Joey: [comes out of the elevator] This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator.
[Kaiba walks to the other elevator that is only stairs; he growls. He walks up stairs as Yami Marik gets off the guest elevator]
Kaiba: What's in these bags, rocks? [then Yami Marik’s bag opens spilling out rocks] Hey, these are rocks. Why is your suitcase full of rocks?
Yami Marik: Well, I don't tell you how to live your life, you fool!
[At Yami Marik’s hotel room]
Kaiba: Well, here's your room. Enjoy your stay.
Yami Marik: Wait, Seto Kaiba! [He takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to Kaiba as a tip] Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.
Yami: Your burger, sir. [Kaiba attempting to throw the rock that Yami Marik gave to him as a tip] Kaiba, cool rock.
Yami Marik: Hold on a second, Pharaoh. [hands Yami a dollar] Here you are, my good man.
Yami: Thank you, Marik.
Yami Marik: There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend. Kaiba!
Kaiba: What now?
Marik: I don't like crusts on my sandwich.
Kaiba: It's a bun. It's all crust. How am I suppose to cut the crust off a bun?
Yami Marik: Peel it.
Kaiba: [peels the skin off the bun angrily] Happy? [Yami Marik inhales the patty]
Yami: Room service. Here's the 50 burgers you ordered.
Yami Marik: Can you do one more thing for me?
Kaiba: Why don't you ask Yami?
Yami Marik: Good idea!
Yami: How may I serve you, sir?
Yami Marik: I need you to eat these burgers with me.
Yami: Oh, yes sir. [both eat a bunch of burgers. As Kaiba heads down the employee elevator, Joey is on the phone]
Joey: Hold on. Kaiba, Marik needs your help.
Kaiba: What? Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs, Wheeler?!
Joey: He said he didn't want to bother ya. But he got over it.
[In the bathroom, Kaiba is unclogging the toilet when he unclogs Yami]
Yami: That was horrible! [Kaiba puts him back in the toilet. Yami Marik flushes]
Yami Marik: Wow, I flushed the Pharaoh!
Kaiba: Joey, this is ridiculous. Marik's being completely unreasonable.
Joey: He can be as unreasonable as he wants. The plaque, Kaiba, the plaque!
Kaiba: But...
Joey: Deny no guests! [phone rings] Why, hello Marik. You need Kaiba to come up right away? He'll be right there.
Kaiba: A bubble bath? Why would I give you a bubble bath?
Yami Marik: Because Joey said you would. but make sure to make my back extra shiny clean.
Kaiba: That's it!!! I've had enough!
Yami Marik: Kaiba, wait! The toilet's backed up again.
Joey: [Kaiba comes down the guest elevator] Hey, hey, you can't take that elevator. You're an employee.
Kaiba: Not anymore. I quit.
Joey: Quit? You can't quit.
[Kaiba walks out naked and comes back in with Hawaiian-styled clothes. Kaiba rings bell]
Joey: Welcome to the Wheeler Towers...Kaiba?!
Kaiba: One room, please. On the top floor.
Joey: What do ya think you're doing?
Kaiba: I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than Wheeler Towers. Where we shall never deny a guest even the ridiculous request.
Joey: I don't have to rent you a room.
Kaiba: I've got cash.
Joey: Errr...here's your room key.
Kaiba: Yami, carry my things to my room.
Yami: Aye aye, guest sir. [He turns legs into rockets and blasts off through the ceiling]
Kaiba: [to Joey] And you can carry me to my room.
Joey: SAY WHHHAAAA?! You've got two legs that aren't broken.
Kaiba: The plaque.
[Joey growls, then he carries Kaiba to the top floor] Too bad we couldn't take the elevator but it is for guests only and you are an employee.
Yami: Your room, sir.
Kaiba: And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a pizza with cheese, toenail clippings and nose hairs.
Joey: [gasps] You've got to be kidding me.
Kaiba: And I want it here in 5 seconds.
Yami: Yes, sir! [runs off and comes back with a pizza in less than 2 seconds] Here you are, sir.
Joey: Well, you've got your stinky pizza. Now eat it.
Joey: Oh, I'm not going to eat this. You are.
Joey: What? You're out of your mind if ya think I'm going to eat that.
Yami: Psst, Joey, that's not really a pizza with cheese, toenails and nose hairs.
Joey: [laughs] Now I get ya, man. Alright, Kaiba. [He eats pizza then he pukes. Kaiba laughs] Yami!
Yami: Sorry, Joey. We were all out of cheese.
Yami Marik: [everything in his room is covered in cheese] Haha!
Joey: [phone rings] What is it, rich boy?
Kaiba: Send up a dozen cookies just like grandmother used to make.
Joey: [at Kaiba's room] Here's your homemade cookies.
Kaiba: [tries one and spits it out] These don't taste like anything grandma used to make.
Joey: How did your grandmother make 'em?
Kaiba: How should I know? Ask my grandmother. [slams door]
Mrs. Kaiba [doorbell rings] Hello? [Yami and Joey are in ski masks]
Joey: [trying to get a big sack in the trunk but the door won't close] Pharaoh!
[Yami hits the sack with a shovel but the trunk still won't close]
Yami: No good, Mr. Krabs.
Mrs. Kaiba: Allow me, boys. [closes trunk door]
Joey: Great! Now that my laundry's in the trunk...
Yami: There's room for you to sit up front.
Mrs. Kaiba: Let's go bake some cookies, boys.
Yami and Joey: Hooray!
Joey: [in Kaiba's room where Kaiba is sampling the cookies] Well?
Kaiba: I'm impressed. These are just like grandmother used to make. I just wish grandma was a better cook.
Joey: So you're all taken care of?
Kaiba: Hmmm, just one teensy tiny problem. This room is hideous. re-designed. Blue-Eyes White Dragon would be nice.
Joey: Say whaa?!
Kaiba: We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.
[Joey & Yami change the room to a blue theme, a modern theme, a country theme, a torture theme, and then back to the original] Perfect!
Joey: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
Kaiba: Nothing like getting back to the basics.
Joey: Let's get out of here, Pharaoh.
Kaiba: Oh, before you leave, I wanna go swimming.
Joey: The pool's outback.
Kaiba: Pfft, are you crazy? I'm not going outside to swim.
[big swimming pool is now inside the room]
Kaiba: Come on in the water's fine. [Yami jumps in]
Joey: Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want, rich boy?
Kaiba: Nope, that's it.
Joey: You don't need me to chew your food for ya? Or make ya a back scratcher out of me own spine. Or maybe distinguish the sun so the light doesn't get in your eyes?!
Kaiba: No, I'm good.
Yami: Me, too, my friend.
Yami Marik: Wow, an indoor pool? Well, this place is fancy. [He gets on diving board] Cannonball! [He jumps in, he, Yami and Kaiba laughing but the pool collapses the hotel back into the building]
[at hospital with Yami, Joey, Kaiba and Yami Marik]
Joey: Oh, that hotel was a bad idea from the start.
Yami Marik: That was a hotel?
Nurse: Your bill, sir.
Joey: $15,000?!
Yami: Joey, please calm down.
Kaiba: You're not gonna have a heart attack are you?
Joey: Not at these prices. Forget hotels. This hospital rack is where the money is.
Yami Marik: This is a hospital?
Joey: Pack your bags, boys. You're going to medical school.
Yami & Yami Marik: Awwwww!
Kaiba: Oh, crap.
The End!!!!
