"A meat shield?" I asked, glancing at Alice who had the twins in a choke hold. She seemed to be oblivious to the Warden's comment.
"Isn't that lovely? Now come on, I'll give you the grand Superjail tour!" he cooed. Warden hooked his arm into mine and spun around.
He snapped his fingers and the tombstone shaped robot came bursting through the wall.
"First of all, this is Jailbot!" he grinned. Jailbot made a beeping sound and opened up it's chest. A small cup of soft serve ice cream was violently shot at me.
"Holy shit man!" I shouted, ducking instantly. The cup of partially frozen dairy went soaring over my head and into Jared's. He made a very upset helping noise and scurried from the room.
Warden rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"Ugh, Jared... Honestly! Can't you handle a little ice cream?" he growled. I let out a snicker as Jared poked his head back in.
"But Sir-" he began.
"No buts Jared! Now finish those invoices!" Warden snapped. He spun me around and suddenly I was on his shoulders.
At that point I figured logic didn't apply in this dimension. Actually, I figured nothing of the world I knew, other than air and food, remained in this one. And of all the things they could have brought in this world, Warden chose invoices. That has to be the biggest buzz kill I've ward of. Even the word 'invoices' was terrible. It made me think of someone living in your throat and tickling your uvula until you puked.
Warden ran out the door eagerly with Jailbot following. He carried my on his shoulders happily, being careful to duck through doorways. I remembered the day my dad got super drunk and lifted me up like this. He threw me in a public pool and then left me there. That wasn't one of my fonder memories.
Well, actually, I don't have any fond memories of my dad. He stabbed me with a ballpoint pen twice. Apparently, he thought it was fun. As we passed into One of the cell colonies, after I was shown Superbar and a place called Super Midway that was under construction, I could hear deep growls and whistles also well.
Obscene gestures clouded the room and rampant screams that I could never repeat if I tried. Warden seemed not to care very much and simply turned to Jailbot.
"Fetch Alice, Jailbot!" he snapped. The cute robot smiled innocently, if robots could smile, before whirring away. "So anyway, this is super cell colony 5!"
"Is super just like second nature for you?" I giggled, also ignoring the men's screams.
"It IS my prefix of choice. How could it not be? It's perfectly super!" Warden cooed. He smacked a few prisoners with his cane and continued down the path.
I thought I might as well look around and enjoy the view. After all, I was being carried around by the star of my trauma dream. I was liking the trauma dream so far. It was fun, exciting, so much more interesting than day to day life. It was a new experience, something I'd been longing for since I got into the real world. A lot of people say it's a challenge to go to college and get a job, but not for me. For some reason, I'd never shed a tear and just bore through it.
A psychiatrist once told me I was numb to things because of the trauma in my early days. I'd shaken him off though and simply continued my life. But now, I thought maybe it was true. I quickly shook away the idea. Warden clambered up and down stairs, hopping on and off a rainbow for no apparent reason. I peered around at all the motley prisoners. One of them in particular caught my eye. He was bald, with many facial tattoos and a strong muscular body.
I fell off of Warden instantly. The eerie man looked like my father. Too much like my father. I scrambled backwards into the bars of another cell. It didn't occur to me that I'd be in danger by doing that. But I had to get away. I had to get back.
The man smirked at me, a glimmer in his eyes. Someone wrapped their arms around my neck and pulled me onto my feet. Warden whipped around in time to see my face turn purple. I slowly drifted away for the second time that day.
"Good morning sleepy head!" a younger man in an attractive purple suit grinned. He had a strip of fabric that was wrapped around his stomach happily. I loved the way that looked, it was one of the few things that I really thought looked great. Especially on someone skinny and tall like the man before me.
I thought the little wrap was extremely sexy. Then the memories came flying back into my head.
"Wha... What... happened?" I asked, vision blurry. Behind Warden was the bleak and blood covered steel wall of what seemed to be a laboratory. A very large and rotund man sat at his desk over a plate of some sort of roast meat. On the desk was also a very blatant name tag that said 'Doctor' on it.
I figured he wasn't a very practical man. Probably the kind who did creepy experiments and created evil crossbreeds after hours. Or maybe even during hours. Knowing Warden, his job was creating evil mutants! That would actually be a really fun job. But not quite as fun as cutting up dead people all day. I'm macabre aren't I?
"You got choked half to death by one of the inmates!" Warden said with a smile.
"Don't worry, I took care of that meatsack." Alice snarled from the other side of the room.
"You killed him? Cool!" I piped. It was pretty cool to just be able to kill someone. Alice began to form a reply but was interrupted by one of Warden's oddball comments. I let my gaze drift away from them for a moment only to see the tip of Jared's head.
He bustled around near some sort of holding cell. I thought it was probably a place for keeping the Doctor's experiments. The tiny man fretted over some papers before running from the room. Warden snapped his fingers in front of my face bluntly.
"Alive, dear Pixel?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh... Yeah, sorry! I was watching Jared..." I said, trailing off slightly.
"Hmph, is he really that watchable?" Warden placed both hands on his hips.
"It's like watching an elf deliver Christmas presents because Santa died in a drunk driving accident!" I cried with a grin. I'd never liked the thought of some mystical fat man with a white beard who goes into your house saying he has something for the children. It seemed really molester like to me.
The shear thought of something like that made me cringe. Although, there was never much of a Santa at my house. Dad always got drunk and went out with his buddies. For the first few years of my life, It had been okay because dad didn't ever go out or have anyone in. He was severely depressed from my mom's death. Suicidally depressed. One Christmas he tried to kill himself because mom on the fifth of December and it was her favorite month.
Warden got a big smile on his face all of a sudden.
"That is one great way to put things! I may never think of Jared the same way! Metaphors and analogies are your thing Pixel!" he chimed. The man had an expression of pure joy on his face. I'd never seen someone so happy before, so filled with bubbling ecstasy. Which I was sure was a drug he'd taken before. His happiness made my chest tingle, it was weird. I'd never made someone happy before, I never thought I could. Every time I tried to cheer my dad up he just left the house and came back days later with a hangover and either a ton of money or a man from repossession.
This really must have been a trauma induced dream. If I kept experiencing things that made me happy, it must have been. But then again, I nearly got killed and saw my father. Or someone who looks and awful lot like him.
"Thanks... I guess I am kind of good at comparing things." I said with a half smile.
"Varden, move out of zee vay." Doctor said, in a German accent so thick I thought I might choke on it. The Doctor's nose was large and bulbous with tints of bright red, I could tell he'd been(or was) an alcoholic.
But what German man wasn't? Warden slid out of the way daintily, using his cane to bow slightly. Doctor looked me over quickly and poked my face a few times.
"She'll be fine, nothing to vorry about." he remarked thoughtfully, returning to the roast meat. Warden and Alice helped me off the table, I wasn't aware of how weak my legs were at the moment. We hobbled out the door and they both let me catch my breath leaning on a railing.
"I think that's enough excitement for one day, right Alice?" Warden crooned, consulting with his transvestite friend.
"If you're a pansie!" Alice spat. To be honest, I felt a bit off put by her reply but I shook it off like everything else. I'd lived my life that way, shaking off mean comments and sassy remarks in order to survive. It was a miracle I had actually, it's clinically proven that children need a certain amount of love in their life or they die. I don't think I've ever felt love before, the emotion remains a mystery.
Maybe I had with my friends though. They were great. They always stood up for me and helped me out in fights, they always shared their music with me, and when I started dressing in black, they followed. They made me feel like a leader, like I was part of something. And that feeling was almost as great as making Warden so happy. Or when you first slice open the skull of a cadaver. I really am macabre, aren't I?
"Actually, I'm beat. Totally exhausted..." I huffed, following Alice and Warden down the hall. Warden opened his mouth to form a reply but was interrupted by the sound of manic footsteps. Jared came barreling into me, nearly knocking over the rails. I got another shot of adrenaline and my heart pricked up, something bad was going on. I'd always been able to tell when something was about to happen. And when it did, my body just sort of sprung into action. that may have been the result of my cocaine days back in med school. My motto had been 'Cocaine, the healthy alternative of caffeine'. One time the dean found my stash but let it slide because I gave him some pot.
As much as I hate to admit it, I dealed, and did, lots of drugs. It was the only way I could reach end meet. My dad never answered the phone when I called for money so I got involved with drug trade. I was great at it though! Always covering my tracks and keeping the trail dead cold. My smarts had helped me put myself in the shoes of a cop looking to catch a criminal. I was so careful I even wore a black trench coat and little booties to each drop off and pick up. Afterwards, I burned them. And once again the trail was cold.
"One of the Doctor's experiments has escaped!" he shouted. Just as the words exited his mouth, a big green pile of goo dropped down in front of us. Warden jabbed it with his cane and hopped on Jared'd head.
"Eeww! It's all... Squishy!" he whined. I let out a short giggle and kicked it with one of my shoes. The 'experiment' sucked it off my foot before heading towards Jared and Warden.
"It's actually kinda cute." I smiled, pulling my shoe out of the cute green blob. To my surprise, it came out sparkly clean without even a speck of goop or gunk.
For a few seconds I considered having it as a pet. If I was going to live in some crazy trauma dream, I might as well have a pet. I had a dog once, his name was Spuff. He was one of those really cute ones with the fluffy, but kind of raggedy, fur and the perfect face. I thought Spuff was the greatest dog ever and that he would always be there for me. Two weeks after that thought, though, dad came home drunk and ran him over. No more Spuff for me. The worst part was, my dad actually brought in the pile of meat and cooked it for dinner. Yeah, that's right. I ate my child hood dog. It was one of those times where we didn't have any money left and I hadn't eaten in two days. So it really was his fault. Or at least I feel better when I blame it on him.
But, as I day dreamed about old Spuff, Alice had already thrown the cute blob off the balcony. She brushed of her hands confidently and Warden joined us on the floor.
"Ah, well. Now that that's over, I'll show you to your brand new SUPEROOM!" he cheered. I thought it was kind of silly to use super as a prefix to everything, but it was fine with me. It's not like I can stop someone from being them self. Warden seemed to march to a different tune than the rest of the world, just like me. Jared was your run of the mill desk jockey who landed a cushy job and Alice seemed a ton like other manly security guards. However, there was the sex change thing so I guess she's a bit different.
Warden somehow managed to get me up on his head again before marching off. He and Alice struck up some odd conversation that didn't really interest me, so I peered around. The entire area around us seemed to be some sort of experiment room. Half man half donkey people were strapped tables and gagged by some kinky black leather attached to a red ball thing. A lot of the stuff the Doctor had was kinky and confusing. If I remember correctly, there was a whip next to the table I woke up on and my corset was undone. Shit!
I quickly reached around back to zip it up.
"Already done," Warden said. "I zipped it when you were looking."
"Oh, really?" I asked. No one had ever helped me with something like that before.
"Would I not do that and have my dear Pixel's appearance jeopardized?" he clucked in a very smooth voice. Alice snorted loudly, muttering something about me being his new favorite. "Not to mention if Jared got one look at you indecent... Can you believe he's never gotten to fourth base before?! That man has no game!" Warden continued to ramble on about Jared being a forty yet old virgin and how sad that was.
It wasn't long before he dropped me off in front of a large black door.
"Report to my office in the morning by ten! Tomorrow is your first day!" Warden waved from inside Jailbot who had turned himself into a little boat. That robot was so adorable! He always had such a cute little pixelated smile. I could tell that, even though he was a robot, Jailbot loved the Warden. I waved back with a smile before barging into my new room.
It was gorgeous. With black walls, a deep purple bed, a purple vanity, and a red and black bathroom. Everything was either a deep purple, a blood red, or a midnight black. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. When I was younger, I used to draw what I'd like to live in one day. And this was it. The room was like it had been a page ripped out of my sketch book and made a reality. An amazingly gorgeous reality. For a split second I thought to myself 'I love this room' but then quickly realized it's an inanimate object and therefore, you can't love it. Or maybe you could, I had no idea. One who has never played the game cannot decide it's rules. I figured I'd go take a shower before I went to sleep. A good shower sounded like it might snap me out of my trauma dream. But maybe I didn't want to go.
For the first time in my life I had something other than my job to live for. I had a kickass room with all my favorite colors, a monumental jail with excitement at every turn, a transvestite man-woman friend, a tiny forty year old virgin accountant, and best of all, an absolutely insane, top hat wearing, sadistic, yet awesome, boss. Who also wore those really attractive waist things. My life was perfect, aside from seeing someone who looked like my father in jail. But still! Everything was going so great. I didn't need drugs to escape from real life anymore! This new life was like someone delivering a mixture of black tar heroine, real cuban cocaine, red bull(which I count as a drug), and crystal meth straight to my veins. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Period. I LOVE this trauma dream. LOVE.
But if I didn't take a shower I'd be all gross and sweaty tomorrow which wasn't a good way to start the first day of my new job. So I hopped into the bathroom that I'd always dreamed of. The sink itself was a scarlet red but everything surrounding it was dark black. I poked around in cabinets with little hard plastic red bows as handles and dug around under the sink. There was a small bottle of shampoo and one of conditioner but no soap. That was fine, though. I'd learned to use shampoo as soap from the times my dad couldn't afford it. I eagerly stepped into the red and black shower which had checkered tile walls, something I dreamed of constantly, and turned on the hot water.
It felt good on my skin and face, making me feel... new. I felt like a great burden had been lifted because now, things were finally going my way. Life was finally looking up for Pixel Donnathan. After a long thirty or forty minutes of letting the hot rain drip down my skin, I stepped back out. The climate here seemed to be like that of Florida's. It was hot yet with a touch of steamy humidity. I silently wondered if perhaps Warden had found a way to create such a climate in my room specifically. But it had probably been the fact I just took an almost hour long shower with the water at a scalding temperature.
I dried off and went to see what I had to sleep in or if I just had to sleep in the nude. Which would definitely freak me out. My search was quickly interrupted by the phone ringing frantically. I didn't even know I had a phone here but there was a nice purple one on a desk.
"Hello?" I asked, yawning. Long, hot, showers always made me really tired and groggy.
"The blob we found wasn't the experiment!" Jared screeched. I pulled the phone away from my ear. Why was he so loud? "The real one is headed straight for your room!"
"Stop screaming Jared! What are you talking about?!" I cried. My heart started pounding again and I felt the sudden release of adrenaline. Something really bad was about to happen. From outside I could hear giant lumbering footsteps that shook the entire foundation of Superjail. My doorknob slowly started to turn. F-U-C-K.
"Isn't that lovely? Now come on, I'll give you the grand Superjail tour!" he cooed. Warden hooked his arm into mine and spun around.
He snapped his fingers and the tombstone shaped robot came bursting through the wall.
"First of all, this is Jailbot!" he grinned. Jailbot made a beeping sound and opened up it's chest. A small cup of soft serve ice cream was violently shot at me.
"Holy shit man!" I shouted, ducking instantly. The cup of partially frozen dairy went soaring over my head and into Jared's. He made a very upset helping noise and scurried from the room.
Warden rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"Ugh, Jared... Honestly! Can't you handle a little ice cream?" he growled. I let out a snicker as Jared poked his head back in.
"But Sir-" he began.
"No buts Jared! Now finish those invoices!" Warden snapped. He spun me around and suddenly I was on his shoulders.
At that point I figured logic didn't apply in this dimension. Actually, I figured nothing of the world I knew, other than air and food, remained in this one. And of all the things they could have brought in this world, Warden chose invoices. That has to be the biggest buzz kill I've ward of. Even the word 'invoices' was terrible. It made me think of someone living in your throat and tickling your uvula until you puked.
Warden ran out the door eagerly with Jailbot following. He carried my on his shoulders happily, being careful to duck through doorways. I remembered the day my dad got super drunk and lifted me up like this. He threw me in a public pool and then left me there. That wasn't one of my fonder memories.
Well, actually, I don't have any fond memories of my dad. He stabbed me with a ballpoint pen twice. Apparently, he thought it was fun. As we passed into One of the cell colonies, after I was shown Superbar and a place called Super Midway that was under construction, I could hear deep growls and whistles also well.
Obscene gestures clouded the room and rampant screams that I could never repeat if I tried. Warden seemed not to care very much and simply turned to Jailbot.
"Fetch Alice, Jailbot!" he snapped. The cute robot smiled innocently, if robots could smile, before whirring away. "So anyway, this is super cell colony 5!"
"Is super just like second nature for you?" I giggled, also ignoring the men's screams.
"It IS my prefix of choice. How could it not be? It's perfectly super!" Warden cooed. He smacked a few prisoners with his cane and continued down the path.
I thought I might as well look around and enjoy the view. After all, I was being carried around by the star of my trauma dream. I was liking the trauma dream so far. It was fun, exciting, so much more interesting than day to day life. It was a new experience, something I'd been longing for since I got into the real world. A lot of people say it's a challenge to go to college and get a job, but not for me. For some reason, I'd never shed a tear and just bore through it.
A psychiatrist once told me I was numb to things because of the trauma in my early days. I'd shaken him off though and simply continued my life. But now, I thought maybe it was true. I quickly shook away the idea. Warden clambered up and down stairs, hopping on and off a rainbow for no apparent reason. I peered around at all the motley prisoners. One of them in particular caught my eye. He was bald, with many facial tattoos and a strong muscular body.
I fell off of Warden instantly. The eerie man looked like my father. Too much like my father. I scrambled backwards into the bars of another cell. It didn't occur to me that I'd be in danger by doing that. But I had to get away. I had to get back.
The man smirked at me, a glimmer in his eyes. Someone wrapped their arms around my neck and pulled me onto my feet. Warden whipped around in time to see my face turn purple. I slowly drifted away for the second time that day.
"Good morning sleepy head!" a younger man in an attractive purple suit grinned. He had a strip of fabric that was wrapped around his stomach happily. I loved the way that looked, it was one of the few things that I really thought looked great. Especially on someone skinny and tall like the man before me.
I thought the little wrap was extremely sexy. Then the memories came flying back into my head.
"Wha... What... happened?" I asked, vision blurry. Behind Warden was the bleak and blood covered steel wall of what seemed to be a laboratory. A very large and rotund man sat at his desk over a plate of some sort of roast meat. On the desk was also a very blatant name tag that said 'Doctor' on it.
I figured he wasn't a very practical man. Probably the kind who did creepy experiments and created evil crossbreeds after hours. Or maybe even during hours. Knowing Warden, his job was creating evil mutants! That would actually be a really fun job. But not quite as fun as cutting up dead people all day. I'm macabre aren't I?
"You got choked half to death by one of the inmates!" Warden said with a smile.
"Don't worry, I took care of that meatsack." Alice snarled from the other side of the room.
"You killed him? Cool!" I piped. It was pretty cool to just be able to kill someone. Alice began to form a reply but was interrupted by one of Warden's oddball comments. I let my gaze drift away from them for a moment only to see the tip of Jared's head.
He bustled around near some sort of holding cell. I thought it was probably a place for keeping the Doctor's experiments. The tiny man fretted over some papers before running from the room. Warden snapped his fingers in front of my face bluntly.
"Alive, dear Pixel?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh... Yeah, sorry! I was watching Jared..." I said, trailing off slightly.
"Hmph, is he really that watchable?" Warden placed both hands on his hips.
"It's like watching an elf deliver Christmas presents because Santa died in a drunk driving accident!" I cried with a grin. I'd never liked the thought of some mystical fat man with a white beard who goes into your house saying he has something for the children. It seemed really molester like to me.
The shear thought of something like that made me cringe. Although, there was never much of a Santa at my house. Dad always got drunk and went out with his buddies. For the first few years of my life, It had been okay because dad didn't ever go out or have anyone in. He was severely depressed from my mom's death. Suicidally depressed. One Christmas he tried to kill himself because mom on the fifth of December and it was her favorite month.
Warden got a big smile on his face all of a sudden.
"That is one great way to put things! I may never think of Jared the same way! Metaphors and analogies are your thing Pixel!" he chimed. The man had an expression of pure joy on his face. I'd never seen someone so happy before, so filled with bubbling ecstasy. Which I was sure was a drug he'd taken before. His happiness made my chest tingle, it was weird. I'd never made someone happy before, I never thought I could. Every time I tried to cheer my dad up he just left the house and came back days later with a hangover and either a ton of money or a man from repossession.
This really must have been a trauma induced dream. If I kept experiencing things that made me happy, it must have been. But then again, I nearly got killed and saw my father. Or someone who looks and awful lot like him.
"Thanks... I guess I am kind of good at comparing things." I said with a half smile.
"Varden, move out of zee vay." Doctor said, in a German accent so thick I thought I might choke on it. The Doctor's nose was large and bulbous with tints of bright red, I could tell he'd been(or was) an alcoholic.
But what German man wasn't? Warden slid out of the way daintily, using his cane to bow slightly. Doctor looked me over quickly and poked my face a few times.
"She'll be fine, nothing to vorry about." he remarked thoughtfully, returning to the roast meat. Warden and Alice helped me off the table, I wasn't aware of how weak my legs were at the moment. We hobbled out the door and they both let me catch my breath leaning on a railing.
"I think that's enough excitement for one day, right Alice?" Warden crooned, consulting with his transvestite friend.
"If you're a pansie!" Alice spat. To be honest, I felt a bit off put by her reply but I shook it off like everything else. I'd lived my life that way, shaking off mean comments and sassy remarks in order to survive. It was a miracle I had actually, it's clinically proven that children need a certain amount of love in their life or they die. I don't think I've ever felt love before, the emotion remains a mystery.
Maybe I had with my friends though. They were great. They always stood up for me and helped me out in fights, they always shared their music with me, and when I started dressing in black, they followed. They made me feel like a leader, like I was part of something. And that feeling was almost as great as making Warden so happy. Or when you first slice open the skull of a cadaver. I really am macabre, aren't I?
"Actually, I'm beat. Totally exhausted..." I huffed, following Alice and Warden down the hall. Warden opened his mouth to form a reply but was interrupted by the sound of manic footsteps. Jared came barreling into me, nearly knocking over the rails. I got another shot of adrenaline and my heart pricked up, something bad was going on. I'd always been able to tell when something was about to happen. And when it did, my body just sort of sprung into action. that may have been the result of my cocaine days back in med school. My motto had been 'Cocaine, the healthy alternative of caffeine'. One time the dean found my stash but let it slide because I gave him some pot.
As much as I hate to admit it, I dealed, and did, lots of drugs. It was the only way I could reach end meet. My dad never answered the phone when I called for money so I got involved with drug trade. I was great at it though! Always covering my tracks and keeping the trail dead cold. My smarts had helped me put myself in the shoes of a cop looking to catch a criminal. I was so careful I even wore a black trench coat and little booties to each drop off and pick up. Afterwards, I burned them. And once again the trail was cold.
"One of the Doctor's experiments has escaped!" he shouted. Just as the words exited his mouth, a big green pile of goo dropped down in front of us. Warden jabbed it with his cane and hopped on Jared'd head.
"Eeww! It's all... Squishy!" he whined. I let out a short giggle and kicked it with one of my shoes. The 'experiment' sucked it off my foot before heading towards Jared and Warden.
"It's actually kinda cute." I smiled, pulling my shoe out of the cute green blob. To my surprise, it came out sparkly clean without even a speck of goop or gunk.
For a few seconds I considered having it as a pet. If I was going to live in some crazy trauma dream, I might as well have a pet. I had a dog once, his name was Spuff. He was one of those really cute ones with the fluffy, but kind of raggedy, fur and the perfect face. I thought Spuff was the greatest dog ever and that he would always be there for me. Two weeks after that thought, though, dad came home drunk and ran him over. No more Spuff for me. The worst part was, my dad actually brought in the pile of meat and cooked it for dinner. Yeah, that's right. I ate my child hood dog. It was one of those times where we didn't have any money left and I hadn't eaten in two days. So it really was his fault. Or at least I feel better when I blame it on him.
But, as I day dreamed about old Spuff, Alice had already thrown the cute blob off the balcony. She brushed of her hands confidently and Warden joined us on the floor.
"Ah, well. Now that that's over, I'll show you to your brand new SUPEROOM!" he cheered. I thought it was kind of silly to use super as a prefix to everything, but it was fine with me. It's not like I can stop someone from being them self. Warden seemed to march to a different tune than the rest of the world, just like me. Jared was your run of the mill desk jockey who landed a cushy job and Alice seemed a ton like other manly security guards. However, there was the sex change thing so I guess she's a bit different.
Warden somehow managed to get me up on his head again before marching off. He and Alice struck up some odd conversation that didn't really interest me, so I peered around. The entire area around us seemed to be some sort of experiment room. Half man half donkey people were strapped tables and gagged by some kinky black leather attached to a red ball thing. A lot of the stuff the Doctor had was kinky and confusing. If I remember correctly, there was a whip next to the table I woke up on and my corset was undone. Shit!
I quickly reached around back to zip it up.
"Already done," Warden said. "I zipped it when you were looking."
"Oh, really?" I asked. No one had ever helped me with something like that before.
"Would I not do that and have my dear Pixel's appearance jeopardized?" he clucked in a very smooth voice. Alice snorted loudly, muttering something about me being his new favorite. "Not to mention if Jared got one look at you indecent... Can you believe he's never gotten to fourth base before?! That man has no game!" Warden continued to ramble on about Jared being a forty yet old virgin and how sad that was.
It wasn't long before he dropped me off in front of a large black door.
"Report to my office in the morning by ten! Tomorrow is your first day!" Warden waved from inside Jailbot who had turned himself into a little boat. That robot was so adorable! He always had such a cute little pixelated smile. I could tell that, even though he was a robot, Jailbot loved the Warden. I waved back with a smile before barging into my new room.
It was gorgeous. With black walls, a deep purple bed, a purple vanity, and a red and black bathroom. Everything was either a deep purple, a blood red, or a midnight black. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. When I was younger, I used to draw what I'd like to live in one day. And this was it. The room was like it had been a page ripped out of my sketch book and made a reality. An amazingly gorgeous reality. For a split second I thought to myself 'I love this room' but then quickly realized it's an inanimate object and therefore, you can't love it. Or maybe you could, I had no idea. One who has never played the game cannot decide it's rules. I figured I'd go take a shower before I went to sleep. A good shower sounded like it might snap me out of my trauma dream. But maybe I didn't want to go.
For the first time in my life I had something other than my job to live for. I had a kickass room with all my favorite colors, a monumental jail with excitement at every turn, a transvestite man-woman friend, a tiny forty year old virgin accountant, and best of all, an absolutely insane, top hat wearing, sadistic, yet awesome, boss. Who also wore those really attractive waist things. My life was perfect, aside from seeing someone who looked like my father in jail. But still! Everything was going so great. I didn't need drugs to escape from real life anymore! This new life was like someone delivering a mixture of black tar heroine, real cuban cocaine, red bull(which I count as a drug), and crystal meth straight to my veins. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Period. I LOVE this trauma dream. LOVE.
But if I didn't take a shower I'd be all gross and sweaty tomorrow which wasn't a good way to start the first day of my new job. So I hopped into the bathroom that I'd always dreamed of. The sink itself was a scarlet red but everything surrounding it was dark black. I poked around in cabinets with little hard plastic red bows as handles and dug around under the sink. There was a small bottle of shampoo and one of conditioner but no soap. That was fine, though. I'd learned to use shampoo as soap from the times my dad couldn't afford it. I eagerly stepped into the red and black shower which had checkered tile walls, something I dreamed of constantly, and turned on the hot water.
It felt good on my skin and face, making me feel... new. I felt like a great burden had been lifted because now, things were finally going my way. Life was finally looking up for Pixel Donnathan. After a long thirty or forty minutes of letting the hot rain drip down my skin, I stepped back out. The climate here seemed to be like that of Florida's. It was hot yet with a touch of steamy humidity. I silently wondered if perhaps Warden had found a way to create such a climate in my room specifically. But it had probably been the fact I just took an almost hour long shower with the water at a scalding temperature.
I dried off and went to see what I had to sleep in or if I just had to sleep in the nude. Which would definitely freak me out. My search was quickly interrupted by the phone ringing frantically. I didn't even know I had a phone here but there was a nice purple one on a desk.
"Hello?" I asked, yawning. Long, hot, showers always made me really tired and groggy.
"The blob we found wasn't the experiment!" Jared screeched. I pulled the phone away from my ear. Why was he so loud? "The real one is headed straight for your room!"
"Stop screaming Jared! What are you talking about?!" I cried. My heart started pounding again and I felt the sudden release of adrenaline. Something really bad was about to happen. From outside I could hear giant lumbering footsteps that shook the entire foundation of Superjail. My doorknob slowly started to turn. F-U-C-K.
"A meat shield?" I asked, glancing at Alice who had the twins in a choke hold. She seemed to be oblivious to the Warden's comment.
"Isn't that lovely? Now come on, I'll give you the grand Superjail tour!" he cooed. Warden hooked his arm into mine and spun around.
He snapped his fingers and the tombstone shaped robot came bursting through the wall.
"First of all, this is Jailbot!" he grinned. Jailbot made a beeping sound and opened up it's chest. A small cup of soft serve ice cream was violently shot at me.
"Holy shit man!" I shouted, ducking instantly. The cup of partially frozen dairy went soaring over my head and into Jared's. He made a very upset helping noise and scurried from the room.
Warden rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"Ugh, Jared... Honestly! Can't you handle a little ice cream?" he growled. I let out a snicker as Jared poked his head back in.
"But Sir-" he began.
"No buts Jared! Now finish those invoices!" Warden snapped. He spun me around and suddenly I was on his shoulders.
At that point I figured logic didn't apply in this dimension. Actually, I figured nothing of the world I knew, other than air and food, remained in this one. And of all the things they could have brought in this world, Warden chose invoices. That has to be the biggest buzz kill I've ward of. Even the word 'invoices' was terrible. It made me think of someone living in your throat and tickling your uvula until you puked.
Warden ran out the door eagerly with Jailbot following. He carried my on his shoulders happily, being careful to duck through doorways. I remembered the day my dad got super drunk and lifted me up like this. He threw me in a public pool and then left me there. That wasn't one of my fonder memories.
Well, actually, I don't have any fond memories of my dad. He stabbed me with a ballpoint pen twice. Apparently, he thought it was fun. As we passed into One of the cell colonies, after I was shown Superbar and a place called Super Midway that was under construction, I could hear deep growls and whistles also well.
Obscene gestures clouded the room and rampant screams that I could never repeat if I tried. Warden seemed not to care very much and simply turned to Jailbot.
"Fetch Alice, Jailbot!" he snapped. The cute robot smiled innocently, if robots could smile, before whirring away. "So anyway, this is super cell colony 5!"
"Is super just like second nature for you?" I giggled, also ignoring the men's screams.
"It IS my prefix of choice. How could it not be? It's perfectly super!" Warden cooed. He smacked a few prisoners with his cane and continued down the path.
I thought I might as well look around and enjoy the view. After all, I was being carried around by the star of my trauma dream. I was liking the trauma dream so far. It was fun, exciting, so much more interesting than day to day life. It was a new experience, something I'd been longing for since I got into the real world. A lot of people say it's a challenge to go to college and get a job, but not for me. For some reason, I'd never shed a tear and just bore through it.
A psychiatrist once told me I was numb to things because of the trauma in my early days. I'd shaken him off though and simply continued my life. But now, I thought maybe it was true. I quickly shook away the idea. Warden clambered up and down stairs, hopping on and off a rainbow for no apparent reason. I peered around at all the motley prisoners. One of them in particular caught my eye. He was bald, with many facial tattoos and a strong muscular body.
I fell off of Warden instantly. The eerie man looked like my father. Too much like my father. I scrambled backwards into the bars of another cell. It didn't occur to me that I'd be in danger by doing that. But I had to get away. I had to get back.
The man smirked at me, a glimmer in his eyes. Someone wrapped their arms around my neck and pulled me onto my feet. Warden whipped around in time to see my face turn purple. I slowly drifted away for the second time that day.
"Good morning sleepy head!" a younger man in an attractive purple suit grinned. He had a strip of fabric that was wrapped around his stomach happily. I loved the way that looked, it was one of the few things that I really thought looked great. Especially on someone skinny and tall like the man before me.
I thought the little wrap was extremely sexy. Then the memories came flying back into my head.
"Wha... What... happened?" I asked, vision blurry. Behind Warden was the bleak and blood covered steel wall of what seemed to be a laboratory. A very large and rotund man sat at his desk over a plate of some sort of roast meat. On the desk was also a very blatant name tag that said 'Doctor' on it.
I figured he wasn't a very practical man. Probably the kind who did creepy experiments and created evil crossbreeds after hours. Or maybe even during hours. Knowing Warden, his job was creating evil mutants! That would actually be a really fun job. But not quite as fun as cutting up dead people all day. I'm macabre aren't I?
"You got choked half to death by one of the inmates!" Warden said with a smile.
"Don't worry, I took care of that meatsack." Alice snarled from the other side of the room.
"You killed him? Cool!" I piped. It was pretty cool to just be able to kill someone. Alice began to form a reply but was interrupted by one of Warden's oddball comments. I let my gaze drift away from them for a moment only to see the tip of Jared's head.
He bustled around near some sort of holding cell. I thought it was probably a place for keeping the Doctor's experiments. The tiny man fretted over some papers before running from the room. Warden snapped his fingers in front of my face bluntly.
"Alive, dear Pixel?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh... Yeah, sorry! I was watching Jared..." I said, trailing off slightly.
"Hmph, is he really that watchable?" Warden placed both hands on his hips.
"It's like watching an elf deliver Christmas presents because Santa died in a drunk driving accident!" I cried with a grin. I'd never liked the thought of some mystical fat man with a white beard who goes into your house saying he has something for the children. It seemed really molester like to me.
The shear thought of something like that made me cringe. Although, there was never much of a Santa at my house. Dad always got drunk and went out with his buddies. For the first few years of my life, It had been okay because dad didn't ever go out or have anyone in. He was severely depressed from my mom's death. Suicidally depressed. One Christmas he tried to kill himself because mom on the fifth of December and it was her favorite month.
Warden got a big smile on his face all of a sudden.
"That is one great way to put things! I may never think of Jared the same way! Metaphors and analogies are your thing Pixel!" he chimed. The man had an expression of pure joy on his face. I'd never seen someone so happy before, so filled with bubbling ecstasy. Which I was sure was a drug he'd taken before. His happiness made my chest tingle, it was weird. I'd never made someone happy before, I never thought I could. Every time I tried to cheer my dad up he just left the house and came back days later with a hangover and either a ton of money or a man from repossession.
This really must have been a trauma induced dream. If I kept experiencing things that made me happy, it must have been. But then again, I nearly got killed and saw my father. Or someone who looks and awful lot like him.
"Thanks... I guess I am kind of good at comparing things." I said with a half smile.
"Varden, move out of zee vay." Doctor said, in a German accent so thick I thought I might choke on it. The Doctor's nose was large and bulbous with tints of bright red, I could tell he'd been(or was) an alcoholic.
But what German man wasn't? Warden slid out of the way daintily, using his cane to bow slightly. Doctor looked me over quickly and poked my face a few times.
"She'll be fine, nothing to vorry about." he remarked thoughtfully, returning to the roast meat. Warden and Alice helped me off the table, I wasn't aware of how weak my legs were at the moment. We hobbled out the door and they both let me catch my breath leaning on a railing.
"I think that's enough excitement for one day, right Alice?" Warden crooned, consulting with his transvestite friend.
"If you're a pansie!" Alice spat. To be honest, I felt a bit off put by her reply but I shook it off like everything else. I'd lived my life that way, shaking off mean comments and sassy remarks in order to survive. It was a miracle I had actually, it's clinically proven that children need a certain amount of love in their life or they die. I don't think I've ever felt love before, the emotion remains a mystery.
Maybe I had with my friends though. They were great. They always stood up for me and helped me out in fights, they always shared their music with me, and when I started dressing in black, they followed. They made me feel like a leader, like I was part of something. And that feeling was almost as great as making Warden so happy. Or when you first slice open the skull of a cadaver. I really am macabre, aren't I?
"Actually, I'm beat. Totally exhausted..." I huffed, following Alice and Warden down the hall. Warden opened his mouth to form a reply but was interrupted by the sound of manic footsteps. Jared came barreling into me, nearly knocking over the rails. I got another shot of adrenaline and my heart pricked up, something bad was going on. I'd always been able to tell when something was about to happen. And when it did, my body just sort of sprung into action. that may have been the result of my cocaine days back in med school. My motto had been 'Cocaine, the healthy alternative of caffeine'. One time the dean found my stash but let it slide because I gave him some pot.
As much as I hate to admit it, I dealed, and did, lots of drugs. It was the only way I could reach end meet. My dad never answered the phone when I called for money so I got involved with drug trade. I was great at it though! Always covering my tracks and keeping the trail dead cold. My smarts had helped me put myself in the shoes of a cop looking to catch a criminal. I was so careful I even wore a black trench coat and little booties to each drop off and pick up. Afterwards, I burned them. And once again the trail was cold.
"One of the Doctor's experiments has escaped!" he shouted. Just as the words exited his mouth, a big green pile of goo dropped down in front of us. Warden jabbed it with his cane and hopped on Jared'd head.
"Eeww! It's all... Squishy!" he whined. I let out a short giggle and kicked it with one of my shoes. The 'experiment' sucked it off my foot before heading towards Jared and Warden.
"It's actually kinda cute." I smiled, pulling my shoe out of the cute green blob. To my surprise, it came out sparkly clean without even a speck of goop or gunk.
For a few seconds I considered having it as a pet. If I was going to live in some crazy trauma dream, I might as well have a pet. I had a dog once, his name was Spuff. He was one of those really cute ones with the fluffy, but kind of raggedy, fur and the perfect face. I thought Spuff was the greatest dog ever and that he would always be there for me. Two weeks after that thought, though, dad came home drunk and ran him over. No more Spuff for me. The worst part was, my dad actually brought in the pile of meat and cooked it for dinner. Yeah, that's right. I ate my child hood dog. It was one of those times where we didn't have any money left and I hadn't eaten in two days. So it really was his fault. Or at least I feel better when I blame it on him.
But, as I day dreamed about old Spuff, Alice had already thrown the cute blob off the balcony. She brushed of her hands confidently and Warden joined us on the floor.
"Ah, well. Now that that's over, I'll show you to your brand new SUPEROOM!" he cheered. I thought it was kind of silly to use super as a prefix to everything, but it was fine with me. It's not like I can stop someone from being them self. Warden seemed to march to a different tune than the rest of the world, just like me. Jared was your run of the mill desk jockey who landed a cushy job and Alice seemed a ton like other manly security guards. However, there was the sex change thing so I guess she's a bit different.
Warden somehow managed to get me up on his head again before marching off. He and Alice struck up some odd conversation that didn't really interest me, so I peered around. The entire area around us seemed to be some sort of experiment room. Half man half donkey people were strapped tables and gagged by some kinky black leather attached to a red ball thing. A lot of the stuff the Doctor had was kinky and confusing. If I remember correctly, there was a whip next to the table I woke up on and my corset was undone. Shit!
I quickly reached around back to zip it up.
"Already done," Warden said. "I zipped it when you were looking."
"Oh, really?" I asked. No one had ever helped me with something like that before.
"Would I not do that and have my dear Pixel's appearance jeopardized?" he clucked in a very smooth voice. Alice snorted loudly, muttering something about me being his new favorite. "Not to mention if Jared got one look at you indecent... Can you believe he's never gotten to fourth base before?! That man has no game!" Warden continued to ramble on about Jared being a forty yet old virgin and how sad that was.
It wasn't long before he dropped me off in front of a large black door.
"Report to my office in the morning by ten! Tomorrow is your first day!" Warden waved from inside Jailbot who had turned himself into a little boat. That robot was so adorable! He always had such a cute little pixelated smile. I could tell that, even though he was a robot, Jailbot loved the Warden. I waved back with a smile before barging into my new room.
It was gorgeous. With black walls, a deep purple bed, a purple vanity, and a red and black bathroom. Everything was either a deep purple, a blood red, or a midnight black. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. When I was younger, I used to draw what I'd like to live in one day. And this was it. The room was like it had been a page ripped out of my sketch book and made a reality. An amazingly gorgeous reality. For a split second I thought to myself 'I love this room' but then quickly realized it's an inanimate object and therefore, you can't love it. Or maybe you could, I had no idea. One who has never played the game cannot decide it's rules. I figured I'd go take a shower before I went to sleep. A good shower sounded like it might snap me out of my trauma dream. But maybe I didn't want to go.
For the first time in my life I had something other than my job to live for. I had a kickass room with all my favorite colors, a monumental jail with excitement at every turn, a transvestite man-woman friend, a tiny forty year old virgin accountant, and best of all, an absolutely insane, top hat wearing, sadistic, yet awesome, boss. Who also wore those really attractive waist things. My life was perfect, aside from seeing someone who looked like my father in jail. But still! Everything was going so great. I didn't need drugs to escape from real life anymore! This new life was like someone delivering a mixture of black tar heroine, real cuban cocaine, red bull(which I count as a drug), and crystal meth straight to my veins. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Period. I LOVE this trauma dream. LOVE.
But if I didn't take a shower I'd be all gross and sweaty tomorrow which wasn't a good way to start the first day of my new job. So I hopped into the bathroom that I'd always dreamed of. The sink itself was a scarlet red but everything surrounding it was dark black. I poked around in cabinets with little hard plastic red bows as handles and dug around under the sink. There was a small bottle of shampoo and one of conditioner but no soap. That was fine, though. I'd learned to use shampoo as soap from the times my dad couldn't afford it. I eagerly stepped into the red and black shower which had checkered tile walls, something I dreamed of constantly, and turned on the hot water.
It felt good on my skin and face, making me feel... new. I felt like a great burden had been lifted because now, things were finally going my way. Life was finally looking up for Pixel Donnathan. After a long thirty or forty minutes of letting the hot rain drip down my skin, I stepped back out. The climate here seemed to be like that of Florida's. It was hot yet with a touch of steamy humidity. I silently wondered if perhaps Warden had found a way to create such a climate in my room specifically. But it had probably been the fact I just took an almost hour long shower with the water at a scalding temperature.
I dried off and went to see what I had to sleep in or if I just had to sleep in the nude. Which would definitely freak me out. My search was quickly interrupted by the phone ringing frantically. I didn't even know I had a phone here but there was a nice purple one on a desk.
"Hello?" I asked, yawning. Long, hot, showers always made me really tired and groggy.
"The blob we found wasn't the experiment!" Jared screeched. I pulled the phone away from my ear. Why was he so loud? "The real one is headed straight for your room!"
"Stop screaming Jared! What are you talking about?!" I cried. My heart started pounding again and I felt the sudden release of adrenaline. Something really bad was about to happen. From outside I could hear giant lumbering footsteps that shook the entire foundation of Superjail. My doorknob slowly started to turn. F-U-C-K.
"Isn't that lovely? Now come on, I'll give you the grand Superjail tour!" he cooed. Warden hooked his arm into mine and spun around.
He snapped his fingers and the tombstone shaped robot came bursting through the wall.
"First of all, this is Jailbot!" he grinned. Jailbot made a beeping sound and opened up it's chest. A small cup of soft serve ice cream was violently shot at me.
"Holy shit man!" I shouted, ducking instantly. The cup of partially frozen dairy went soaring over my head and into Jared's. He made a very upset helping noise and scurried from the room.
Warden rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"Ugh, Jared... Honestly! Can't you handle a little ice cream?" he growled. I let out a snicker as Jared poked his head back in.
"But Sir-" he began.
"No buts Jared! Now finish those invoices!" Warden snapped. He spun me around and suddenly I was on his shoulders.
At that point I figured logic didn't apply in this dimension. Actually, I figured nothing of the world I knew, other than air and food, remained in this one. And of all the things they could have brought in this world, Warden chose invoices. That has to be the biggest buzz kill I've ward of. Even the word 'invoices' was terrible. It made me think of someone living in your throat and tickling your uvula until you puked.
Warden ran out the door eagerly with Jailbot following. He carried my on his shoulders happily, being careful to duck through doorways. I remembered the day my dad got super drunk and lifted me up like this. He threw me in a public pool and then left me there. That wasn't one of my fonder memories.
Well, actually, I don't have any fond memories of my dad. He stabbed me with a ballpoint pen twice. Apparently, he thought it was fun. As we passed into One of the cell colonies, after I was shown Superbar and a place called Super Midway that was under construction, I could hear deep growls and whistles also well.
Obscene gestures clouded the room and rampant screams that I could never repeat if I tried. Warden seemed not to care very much and simply turned to Jailbot.
"Fetch Alice, Jailbot!" he snapped. The cute robot smiled innocently, if robots could smile, before whirring away. "So anyway, this is super cell colony 5!"
"Is super just like second nature for you?" I giggled, also ignoring the men's screams.
"It IS my prefix of choice. How could it not be? It's perfectly super!" Warden cooed. He smacked a few prisoners with his cane and continued down the path.
I thought I might as well look around and enjoy the view. After all, I was being carried around by the star of my trauma dream. I was liking the trauma dream so far. It was fun, exciting, so much more interesting than day to day life. It was a new experience, something I'd been longing for since I got into the real world. A lot of people say it's a challenge to go to college and get a job, but not for me. For some reason, I'd never shed a tear and just bore through it.
A psychiatrist once told me I was numb to things because of the trauma in my early days. I'd shaken him off though and simply continued my life. But now, I thought maybe it was true. I quickly shook away the idea. Warden clambered up and down stairs, hopping on and off a rainbow for no apparent reason. I peered around at all the motley prisoners. One of them in particular caught my eye. He was bald, with many facial tattoos and a strong muscular body.
I fell off of Warden instantly. The eerie man looked like my father. Too much like my father. I scrambled backwards into the bars of another cell. It didn't occur to me that I'd be in danger by doing that. But I had to get away. I had to get back.
The man smirked at me, a glimmer in his eyes. Someone wrapped their arms around my neck and pulled me onto my feet. Warden whipped around in time to see my face turn purple. I slowly drifted away for the second time that day.
"Good morning sleepy head!" a younger man in an attractive purple suit grinned. He had a strip of fabric that was wrapped around his stomach happily. I loved the way that looked, it was one of the few things that I really thought looked great. Especially on someone skinny and tall like the man before me.
I thought the little wrap was extremely sexy. Then the memories came flying back into my head.
"Wha... What... happened?" I asked, vision blurry. Behind Warden was the bleak and blood covered steel wall of what seemed to be a laboratory. A very large and rotund man sat at his desk over a plate of some sort of roast meat. On the desk was also a very blatant name tag that said 'Doctor' on it.
I figured he wasn't a very practical man. Probably the kind who did creepy experiments and created evil crossbreeds after hours. Or maybe even during hours. Knowing Warden, his job was creating evil mutants! That would actually be a really fun job. But not quite as fun as cutting up dead people all day. I'm macabre aren't I?
"You got choked half to death by one of the inmates!" Warden said with a smile.
"Don't worry, I took care of that meatsack." Alice snarled from the other side of the room.
"You killed him? Cool!" I piped. It was pretty cool to just be able to kill someone. Alice began to form a reply but was interrupted by one of Warden's oddball comments. I let my gaze drift away from them for a moment only to see the tip of Jared's head.
He bustled around near some sort of holding cell. I thought it was probably a place for keeping the Doctor's experiments. The tiny man fretted over some papers before running from the room. Warden snapped his fingers in front of my face bluntly.
"Alive, dear Pixel?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh... Yeah, sorry! I was watching Jared..." I said, trailing off slightly.
"Hmph, is he really that watchable?" Warden placed both hands on his hips.
"It's like watching an elf deliver Christmas presents because Santa died in a drunk driving accident!" I cried with a grin. I'd never liked the thought of some mystical fat man with a white beard who goes into your house saying he has something for the children. It seemed really molester like to me.
The shear thought of something like that made me cringe. Although, there was never much of a Santa at my house. Dad always got drunk and went out with his buddies. For the first few years of my life, It had been okay because dad didn't ever go out or have anyone in. He was severely depressed from my mom's death. Suicidally depressed. One Christmas he tried to kill himself because mom on the fifth of December and it was her favorite month.
Warden got a big smile on his face all of a sudden.
"That is one great way to put things! I may never think of Jared the same way! Metaphors and analogies are your thing Pixel!" he chimed. The man had an expression of pure joy on his face. I'd never seen someone so happy before, so filled with bubbling ecstasy. Which I was sure was a drug he'd taken before. His happiness made my chest tingle, it was weird. I'd never made someone happy before, I never thought I could. Every time I tried to cheer my dad up he just left the house and came back days later with a hangover and either a ton of money or a man from repossession.
This really must have been a trauma induced dream. If I kept experiencing things that made me happy, it must have been. But then again, I nearly got killed and saw my father. Or someone who looks and awful lot like him.
"Thanks... I guess I am kind of good at comparing things." I said with a half smile.
"Varden, move out of zee vay." Doctor said, in a German accent so thick I thought I might choke on it. The Doctor's nose was large and bulbous with tints of bright red, I could tell he'd been(or was) an alcoholic.
But what German man wasn't? Warden slid out of the way daintily, using his cane to bow slightly. Doctor looked me over quickly and poked my face a few times.
"She'll be fine, nothing to vorry about." he remarked thoughtfully, returning to the roast meat. Warden and Alice helped me off the table, I wasn't aware of how weak my legs were at the moment. We hobbled out the door and they both let me catch my breath leaning on a railing.
"I think that's enough excitement for one day, right Alice?" Warden crooned, consulting with his transvestite friend.
"If you're a pansie!" Alice spat. To be honest, I felt a bit off put by her reply but I shook it off like everything else. I'd lived my life that way, shaking off mean comments and sassy remarks in order to survive. It was a miracle I had actually, it's clinically proven that children need a certain amount of love in their life or they die. I don't think I've ever felt love before, the emotion remains a mystery.
Maybe I had with my friends though. They were great. They always stood up for me and helped me out in fights, they always shared their music with me, and when I started dressing in black, they followed. They made me feel like a leader, like I was part of something. And that feeling was almost as great as making Warden so happy. Or when you first slice open the skull of a cadaver. I really am macabre, aren't I?
"Actually, I'm beat. Totally exhausted..." I huffed, following Alice and Warden down the hall. Warden opened his mouth to form a reply but was interrupted by the sound of manic footsteps. Jared came barreling into me, nearly knocking over the rails. I got another shot of adrenaline and my heart pricked up, something bad was going on. I'd always been able to tell when something was about to happen. And when it did, my body just sort of sprung into action. that may have been the result of my cocaine days back in med school. My motto had been 'Cocaine, the healthy alternative of caffeine'. One time the dean found my stash but let it slide because I gave him some pot.
As much as I hate to admit it, I dealed, and did, lots of drugs. It was the only way I could reach end meet. My dad never answered the phone when I called for money so I got involved with drug trade. I was great at it though! Always covering my tracks and keeping the trail dead cold. My smarts had helped me put myself in the shoes of a cop looking to catch a criminal. I was so careful I even wore a black trench coat and little booties to each drop off and pick up. Afterwards, I burned them. And once again the trail was cold.
"One of the Doctor's experiments has escaped!" he shouted. Just as the words exited his mouth, a big green pile of goo dropped down in front of us. Warden jabbed it with his cane and hopped on Jared'd head.
"Eeww! It's all... Squishy!" he whined. I let out a short giggle and kicked it with one of my shoes. The 'experiment' sucked it off my foot before heading towards Jared and Warden.
"It's actually kinda cute." I smiled, pulling my shoe out of the cute green blob. To my surprise, it came out sparkly clean without even a speck of goop or gunk.
For a few seconds I considered having it as a pet. If I was going to live in some crazy trauma dream, I might as well have a pet. I had a dog once, his name was Spuff. He was one of those really cute ones with the fluffy, but kind of raggedy, fur and the perfect face. I thought Spuff was the greatest dog ever and that he would always be there for me. Two weeks after that thought, though, dad came home drunk and ran him over. No more Spuff for me. The worst part was, my dad actually brought in the pile of meat and cooked it for dinner. Yeah, that's right. I ate my child hood dog. It was one of those times where we didn't have any money left and I hadn't eaten in two days. So it really was his fault. Or at least I feel better when I blame it on him.
But, as I day dreamed about old Spuff, Alice had already thrown the cute blob off the balcony. She brushed of her hands confidently and Warden joined us on the floor.
"Ah, well. Now that that's over, I'll show you to your brand new SUPEROOM!" he cheered. I thought it was kind of silly to use super as a prefix to everything, but it was fine with me. It's not like I can stop someone from being them self. Warden seemed to march to a different tune than the rest of the world, just like me. Jared was your run of the mill desk jockey who landed a cushy job and Alice seemed a ton like other manly security guards. However, there was the sex change thing so I guess she's a bit different.
Warden somehow managed to get me up on his head again before marching off. He and Alice struck up some odd conversation that didn't really interest me, so I peered around. The entire area around us seemed to be some sort of experiment room. Half man half donkey people were strapped tables and gagged by some kinky black leather attached to a red ball thing. A lot of the stuff the Doctor had was kinky and confusing. If I remember correctly, there was a whip next to the table I woke up on and my corset was undone. Shit!
I quickly reached around back to zip it up.
"Already done," Warden said. "I zipped it when you were looking."
"Oh, really?" I asked. No one had ever helped me with something like that before.
"Would I not do that and have my dear Pixel's appearance jeopardized?" he clucked in a very smooth voice. Alice snorted loudly, muttering something about me being his new favorite. "Not to mention if Jared got one look at you indecent... Can you believe he's never gotten to fourth base before?! That man has no game!" Warden continued to ramble on about Jared being a forty yet old virgin and how sad that was.
It wasn't long before he dropped me off in front of a large black door.
"Report to my office in the morning by ten! Tomorrow is your first day!" Warden waved from inside Jailbot who had turned himself into a little boat. That robot was so adorable! He always had such a cute little pixelated smile. I could tell that, even though he was a robot, Jailbot loved the Warden. I waved back with a smile before barging into my new room.
It was gorgeous. With black walls, a deep purple bed, a purple vanity, and a red and black bathroom. Everything was either a deep purple, a blood red, or a midnight black. And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. When I was younger, I used to draw what I'd like to live in one day. And this was it. The room was like it had been a page ripped out of my sketch book and made a reality. An amazingly gorgeous reality. For a split second I thought to myself 'I love this room' but then quickly realized it's an inanimate object and therefore, you can't love it. Or maybe you could, I had no idea. One who has never played the game cannot decide it's rules. I figured I'd go take a shower before I went to sleep. A good shower sounded like it might snap me out of my trauma dream. But maybe I didn't want to go.
For the first time in my life I had something other than my job to live for. I had a kickass room with all my favorite colors, a monumental jail with excitement at every turn, a transvestite man-woman friend, a tiny forty year old virgin accountant, and best of all, an absolutely insane, top hat wearing, sadistic, yet awesome, boss. Who also wore those really attractive waist things. My life was perfect, aside from seeing someone who looked like my father in jail. But still! Everything was going so great. I didn't need drugs to escape from real life anymore! This new life was like someone delivering a mixture of black tar heroine, real cuban cocaine, red bull(which I count as a drug), and crystal meth straight to my veins. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Period. I LOVE this trauma dream. LOVE.
But if I didn't take a shower I'd be all gross and sweaty tomorrow which wasn't a good way to start the first day of my new job. So I hopped into the bathroom that I'd always dreamed of. The sink itself was a scarlet red but everything surrounding it was dark black. I poked around in cabinets with little hard plastic red bows as handles and dug around under the sink. There was a small bottle of shampoo and one of conditioner but no soap. That was fine, though. I'd learned to use shampoo as soap from the times my dad couldn't afford it. I eagerly stepped into the red and black shower which had checkered tile walls, something I dreamed of constantly, and turned on the hot water.
It felt good on my skin and face, making me feel... new. I felt like a great burden had been lifted because now, things were finally going my way. Life was finally looking up for Pixel Donnathan. After a long thirty or forty minutes of letting the hot rain drip down my skin, I stepped back out. The climate here seemed to be like that of Florida's. It was hot yet with a touch of steamy humidity. I silently wondered if perhaps Warden had found a way to create such a climate in my room specifically. But it had probably been the fact I just took an almost hour long shower with the water at a scalding temperature.
I dried off and went to see what I had to sleep in or if I just had to sleep in the nude. Which would definitely freak me out. My search was quickly interrupted by the phone ringing frantically. I didn't even know I had a phone here but there was a nice purple one on a desk.
"Hello?" I asked, yawning. Long, hot, showers always made me really tired and groggy.
"The blob we found wasn't the experiment!" Jared screeched. I pulled the phone away from my ear. Why was he so loud? "The real one is headed straight for your room!"
"Stop screaming Jared! What are you talking about?!" I cried. My heart started pounding again and I felt the sudden release of adrenaline. Something really bad was about to happen. From outside I could hear giant lumbering footsteps that shook the entire foundation of Superjail. My doorknob slowly started to turn. F-U-C-K.
