over a year ago:
(I am entering a writing competition and need you opinion on what I have written. The competition ends June 30th so please answer. The topic was suicide, so I decided to have the girl broken hearted.)
I never expected the end to be like this.
Hot, wet tears stung my eyes as the memories of my life replayed in my mind like an old movie reel. I looked through the curtain of my silky blonde hair around the room I once called my own. I saw the photograph of my only love looking back at me, tenderness in his sapphire eyes. I took a deep breath, inhaling vanilla and cat- the familiar scent of home in the air. The room was empty to me now. Loneliness filled my already shattered heart as the photograph fell from its place on my wall. My angel had fallen. A single tear fell down my face and slid towards my lips. I tasted salt.
A small fish tank bubbled happily beside me; the golden creatures held inside the ball swam into the side of the tank, trying to escape. I spied on them as their feeble escape efforts were thwarted by a glass wall. I reached out and touched my own glass wall, the barrier that now separated me from my old life, so many faces smiled back at me. I watched how they used to be. How I wished they still were.
I glanced down to the small bottle I was grasping tightly in my hand. My knuckles were white and crimson against the cold, orange glass. The poisonous substances twinkled softly against the glass whenever I moved; the empty space between the contents was filled with my imminent future. It was my own personal time machine, I knew what was coming.
The bottle opened easily in my hand, inviting me to take a pill. I held the shiny red and white capsule in my hand. Its delicate plastic coating glinted in the sunlight that filtered through the windows. The sweat on my palms took away that shine quickly, smearing them with a sticky liquid. I hoped they worked that swiftly on me.
I sat on my bed, setting my drink down beside me. The smell of vodka mixed with lime stole away the scent of home from me. I tightened my hold on my first pill, feeling every part of its shape, its texture, its danger. Terror stabbed me hard, countering the hammering of my broken heart.
The first time is always the hardest, I reminded myself.
Refusing to think, I put the smooth object to my cracked lips and forced it down my throat with the vile liquid. My throat smouldered as the cocktail washed through my body, the salt on my lips washed away. I choked and spluttered for a moment, bringing fresh fluid to my burning eyes. I sobbed as I began taking the pills in twos, enduring the bitter taste and the flames that had ignited in my chest.
The room became hazy; the air sparkled with rainbow light. I watched as familiar shapes formed in the dying sun and he came to life from his picture. I closed my eyes, remembering his velvet voice; everything came back to me crystal clear.
I opened them to my own fairytale; my prince had come to claim his princess.
We were at the park; the sun was blazing down on us, I ran across the emerald green field, my hair dancing behind me in the light breeze. The blue sky was flawless; birds darted across it in stunning patterns. I felt the grass tickle my bare feet, pollen dotted the air, catching the sun and glittering in an array of colours.
No matter how beautiful this scene was, it was him that captured my full attention. He pulled at my hand, the sensation shot up my arm like electricity. The static between us was visible, shimmering in the golden light. His smile took my breath away, it always had. I smiled back at him, his form so different yet so real.
I wanted to tell him how I missed him, how it was all such a horrifying nightmare, how much I...
He faded away as I opened my mouth to speak, my words jumbled and ineligible. The dazzling sun dimmed into a failing light, the green grass was replaced with my mauve carpet. An icy chill swept over my skin, the splintered pieces of my heart were encapsulated in ice.
My lips where numb, my tongue couldn’t move properly. My blood rushed through my body, but I could no longer experience it, sensations had no meaning anymore. My hands were like almost useless as I continued adding to my limits, I could no longer lift the heavy cup. I used the saliva from my tongue to swallow, my mouth dried so rapidly. I wanted so desperately to return to my prince.
I breached my limit effortlessly. The numbness in my lips worked its way down my entire body, removing the frost covering my heart. Pain hit the splintered pieces again, I was not granted the pleasure of its removal. My arms and legs tingled as the drugs shot through my system, pulling my body in different directions.
I lay on the bed, paralysed. I waited for my heart to give up on its frantic struggle against falling silent forever, it throbbed helplessly in my ribcage. The battle in my body raged on- I was no longer thinking.
The room span as the tiny pills worked their magic. Spots filled my once perfect eyesight, blacking out parts to the world, like blinkers on a horse.
A little longer, that’s all I needed. My eye-lids were heavy, dropping themselves shut without my permission. I forced my eyes open one last time, for one more look at the world I was leaving behind.
My prince waved me goodbye, riding away on his white stallion, stealing my fairytale ending. Sleeping beauty’s true ending was here.