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bernerd: hi I'm a marvel
alfred: ah, I don't think we met sir.
bernerd: i'm norman and harry osborn's butler.
alfred: oh yes.
bernerd: i'm sorry, i can't do this, I'm such a stupid character. Squirrely, insignificant, dumb.
Harry even makes his own omelets. What's my purpose in such a baller film series?
alfred: come now, sah. You kept tight-lipped about the goblin massacre going on under your two eyes. You are what James Bond would refer to as a master criminal.
bernard: really? But it goes beyond not telling harry about all that stuff, remember in spider-man 1 after doctor strom got killed? I couldn't even keep that lady from rushing into the room where norman likes to pass out drunk!
alfred: oh yes, and who could forgot how valiantly you kept wayne's penthouse from being paraded upon by tonight's entertainment.
bernard: ...hey yeah! You did kind of scuttle off in the corner and suck your thumb, didn't you?
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Sandman: Hi I'm a Marvel.
Joker: Oh you got to be kidding me.
Sandman: Don't make fun. My daughter was dying. I needed money.
Joker: Yeah see, that's kind of thing big guy...your daughter was dying. So when Spiderman beats you, a little girl croaks. Marvel deserves a better class of criminal.
Sandman: You died in your apartment. It translated into hype. They got rich.
Joker: Is there anything with Spider-Man 3 that hasn't already been said through the movie "Spirit"? You see it was written in 1940 but business cycles never change. They're a killing joke. They change for nobody. They're only as good as the world allows them to be.
Sandman: I don't follow. Word bubbles are long. I just fight.
Joker: You're right. Had I lived, the Golden Globe would have gone right to you, Thomas Haydn.
Right then the Sandman does some Green Lantern gigantic hammer stuff on the Joker, but the Joker fries him with that hand buzzer, he turns to glass, the Joker kicks him into a million pieces.
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ghost rider: hi i'm a marvel
batman: I'm going...to kill you
ghost rider: sorry dark queer. Already been done that route. And it'll take alot more then you and the grace of god to make me go that route again.
batman: alright ghost rider. I've tried to be nice. I've pitied you for over thirty years because you were the DC of Marvel Comics. HellTennisPlayer why don't they. But then you got a movie that had SAM ELLIOTT in it and quite frankly I'm jealous. So I'm going to finally do away with you before you even dare step to this Bobby Blaze or Ruben Blades or Ruben Studdard or Dale Dingus or whatever you're name is. It's called plagierism, you understand? Do I have to spell it out? Legion is the Scarecrow, you are me with skeletons and fire, and your Bat Pod is the whole thing that defines you. That's why Aquaman? Gets no play. Flash? Gets no play. They're dope in Mortal Kombat. Granted that. But what does Aquaman do when the criminals leave the pool? Or an escape chopper takes Flash's enemies away?
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