bernerd: hi I'm a marvel
alfred: ah, I don't think we met sir.
bernerd: i'm norman and harry osborn's butler.
alfred: oh yes.
bernerd: i'm sorry, i can't do this, I'm such a stupid character. Squirrely, insignificant, dumb.
Harry even makes his own omelets. What's my purpose in such a baller film series?
alfred: come now, sah. You kept tight-lipped about the goblin massacre going on under your two eyes. You are what James Bond would refer to as a master criminal.
bernard: really? But it goes beyond not telling harry about all that stuff, remember in spider-man 1 after doctor strom got killed? I couldn't even keep that lady from rushing into the room where norman likes to pass out drunk!
alfred: oh yes, and who could forgot how valiantly you kept wayne's penthouse from being paraded upon by tonight's entertainment.
bernard: ...hey yeah! You did kind of scuttle off in the corner and suck your thumb, didn't you?
alfred: just go get us some food, chump.
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