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Why Edward Cullen Is A Spouse Abuser (And Why You Should Care!)
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Statement of Intent: If you read to the end, you'll notice that I do not advocate against reading Twilight, just putting it into context for young readers. This was originally written for a Facebook audience of friends until I decided to post it here as well. It was not intended to offend Twilight fans or readers, but to simply give a little perspective on why I believe Edward Cullen is a poor character to respect/admire. Should there be enough popular demand, I'm willing to write a similar article about Bella Swan.Personality Traits in Abusive Relationships [Source, Secondary Source] Note: The ones in bold are ones that are displayed by Edward Cullen in the book or film. Thanks to Jody for the research. 1) Uncontrolled temper. "Sometimes I Have a problem with my temper, Bella." (Twilight, Edward, page 164). 2) Extreme Jealousy. "I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?" He raised one eyebrow. "Do I?" "Be serious." "Easily - there's nothing remotely humorous about this." I frowned suspiciously. "Or... is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled --" His eyes blazed. "This is only about you. All I care is that you're safe." (Eclipse, page 143, after Bella spent the day with Jacob.) 3) Intense fear of abandonment. (Note that though this is not one of Edward's character traits, it is a telling trait of Bella, who one could argue in a seprate note is emotionally manipulative, but we're not focusing on Bella here.) 4) A background involving physical, emotional or sexual abuse, abandonment, ACOA issues. 5) Unrealistic expectations of a relationship. (To "fix" them or solve their problems.) 6) Low Self-Esteem. "I infuriate myself," he said gently. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to --" I put my hand over his mouth. "Don't." (Twilight, page 336) 7) Rush in to relationships. "About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn't know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." (Twilight, page 195. The next day, they become a couple. If teenage Bella is confessing "unconditional and irrevocable love" for a vampire she's known three months, who she KNOWS wants to eat her, she's definitely enabling.) 9) Exhibit controlling behavior. We were near the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck. Something caught my jacket, yanking me back. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked, outraged. He was gripping a fistful of my jacket in one hand. I was confused. "I'm going home." "Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition? His voice was still indignant. "What condition? And what about my truck?" I complained. "I'll have Alice drop it off after school." He was towing me toward his car now, pulling me by my jacket. It was all I could do to keep from falling backward. He'd probably just drag me along anyway if I did. "Let go!" I insisted. He ignored me. I staggered along sideways across the wet sidewalk until we reached the Volvo. Then he finally freed me - I stumbled against the passenger door. "You are so pushy!" I grumbled. (Twilight, pages 103-4). 10) Have unrealistic expectations or demands. 11) Use isolation to keep you centered on them. 12) Believe in male supremacy and the stereotyped masculine role in the family. (It should be noted here that this is clearly where Stephanie Meyer's Mormon background permeates best. She reinforces stereotypical gender roles in which the stronger man must protect and support the dependant woman. Edward practically oozes this stereotype.) 13) Use of force during sex. His eyes tightened. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth - don't try to downplay it." ... "Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster." Wounded, shocked, I followed his instruction unthinkingly and then gasped. What had happened to me? I couldn't make sense of the fluffy white snow that clung to my skin. I shook my head, and a cascade of white drifted out of my hair. I pinched one soft white bit between my fingers. It was a piece of down. "Why am I covered in feathers?" I asked, confused. He exhaled impatiently. "I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about." ... Under the dusting of feathers, large purple bruises were beginning to blossom across the pale skin of my arm. My eyes followed the trail they made up to my shoulder and then down across my ribs. I uplled my hand free to poke at the discoloration of my left forearm, watching it fade where I touched it and then reappear. It throbbed a little. (Breaking Dawn, 87-89.) 14) Threats of Violence He lowered the automatic window and leaned toward me across the seat. "Get in, Bella." I didn't answer. I was mentally calculating my chances of reaching the truck before he could catch me. I had to admit, they weren't good. "I'll just drag you back," he threatened, guessing my plan. (Twilight, page 104). 15) Have poor communication skills. (At least, this was the impression I got from the movie.) 16) Exhibit cruelty to animals or children. (Note: I was tempted to bold this, due to the fact that Edward is a "vegetarian"-- someone needs to tell that boy that real vegetarians don't eat meat or blood of any kind, hence the "vege" root of the word. But since he has no qualms about draining animals of their blood, I want to say it counts as animal cruelty. But I feel it would take away from the seriousness of all my other arguments). If you have never read Twilight, and/or have listened to me rant about why Edward and Bella's relationship is a very bad example of "true love" for young girls, I hope this sheds a little light onto the situation, or at least on why I hold that opinion. The funny thing is, a character like this in teen literature wouldn't bother me so much, if the teen literature wasn't so popular. The fact that so many girls are idolizing Edward Cullen, and wishing that they were the simpering Bella Swan, disturbs me enough to compile this list. I am against book banning of any kind. Indeed, I'll go so far as to say that I'm glad that kids are reading, even if they are reading Twilight. But I urge parents, teachers, and anyone with common sense, to explain to their kids that Edward is not the type of man you want to get involved with, and why. Following this conversation, and when the kids are finished reading Twilight, show your young girls some good ol' Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or encourage them to read books like Levine's "Ella Enchanted," Burnett's "The Secret Garden" or "A Little Princess," or even Fitzhugh's "Harriet the Spy," to show them real role models. |
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And I, for one, look forward to an article from you about Bella Swan.
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Song of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce
Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling (which has numerous female role models!)
And I know you know real romance when you see it. That's why you ship all the good ships. ;o)
There's also one point in your article that I don't really agree with. Number 13 'Use of force during sex' can't really be called abuse, as the only reason he bruised her was because if he didn't he'd end up murdering her. While that would make the book far more entertaining and darkly funny, I don't think it would be a very good example of a healthy relationship... :D
I'm a huge Twilight fan but I have to admit this is very well done.
You pretty much mentioned everything that irked me about Edward. Please do an article on Bella as well.
It's articles like this that make me feel less alone in my opinions.
I find it interesting (and a little saddening, to be honest) that there are very few Twilight fans who actually can agree with this.
Just to rant a little, because this really irked me...when Twilight fans say things like 'If you don't like Twilight, that's fine, just keep it to yourself!' I want to scream into a pillow. It's as if opinions can only be voiced if they agree with it and if they don't like it, they don't want you to say anything. Well if that's the case, then Twilight fans should keep their opinions to themselves or just deal with the fact that not everyone loves Twilight. Rant over.
Again, brilliant article Cinders! =]
I don't say anything about your article it was very well writen.I know that everybody has an opinion and if this is yours it doesn't bother me at all.You can express it if you want like I just expressed mine.
My apologies,
Rosemary
I honestly have to say that I see no signs of abuse in Bella's and Edward's relationship. Yes, Edward is a bit controlling and I would find that irritating. But, I'm sorry that's basically all I see. However, I am against animal cruelty and I must agree with you that draining the blood of an animal for food is a form of cruelty, whether the perpetrator is human or not.
Well, that's honestly my opinion.
A friend of mine had a boyfriend like Edward. He was jealous of the guy friends she hung out with, and often wouldn't let her come out with us. He was overprotective, and would rarely let her go anywhere without him. He would often surprise her with small gifts for no good reason. He was critical of us (her friends), and always had to be touching her when the two of them were around us.
Six months later, she broke up with him. I asked her why (because she knew our opinion, but she always said, "No, he's different when we're alone, he's a good guy,") and she said "Remember the flowers he gave me after class yesterday? They were an I'm sorry gift for grabbing me by the arm and throwing me against a wall."
He had never been violent with her until that point, which is why that was when she knew she had to break up with him. But all the signs were there.
I've read about abuse, too. I've taken a psychology class on the mentalities of abuse victims, and their abusers. And I have a friend who knew well enough to end her relationship with a controlling guy. So I think it's fair to say that I know a little bit about abuse, too.
Edward may not be "violently" abusive, but he is frighteningly possessive which is a common trait in most vampire fiction, yes! (I'm a huge fan of this genre) but the difference here is the fact that the story allows this behavior to be acceptable and actually admired upon. For young teenage girls this is a very dangerous type of role model, because with these traits (that they find endearing) will only lead them to pursuing the type of guy who not only controls them through words, but also through violence which in real life is pretty much a package deal.
I agree. Yes it is fictional, vampires arent real but its REAL subtext/issue that happens! That there are alot teenage girls who idiolise Edward, Bella and Twilight in general.
We have to ask ourselves do we want our children/younger generation thinking its ok with this type of behaviour discussed in this article to be socially acceptable?
Defiantly not!! Yeah true everyone has flaws but these traits shouldnt be celebrated as ok cuz its not.
There are alot of positive things about Twilight i like Jacob, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, Seth and Leah cuz I find them more positive role models and more honest characters, yeah they have flaws but i havent seen the abusive/controlling tendenacies in these characters.
The time when Edward gets Alice to keep Bella away from Jacob (that does happen, right?) really sticks out for me.
It's also much worse because Bella is such an easy enabler. If she wasn't, Edward would not get away with half of his crap.
Everyone is always saying that Edward is just protective. Well, he's taking it too far. I know Bella is helpless but it doesn't give him the right to be so controlling! And try to commit suicide!? What message is that sending?
Edward, and Bella, are quite flip floppy. On the one hand, he wants her to stay with Charlie and go to university and lead a normal life. He also wants her to stay away from her best friend (yes, we get he is jealous but that is not an excuse). He's also flip floppy in this way; one minute he's too dangerous, the next, he can't live without her. If he wants her to leave him so she can lead a "safer life as she deserves" he really isn't working hard enough.
It's not so much Edward (although you're KIDDING yourself if you think he's not abusive) as Bella.
Bella NEVER gets upset ENOUGH over his behavior! She calls it "Pushy"! I'd SLAP HIM! If someone EVER tries to force you to do anything you don't want to do, you should respond with, "SHOVE IT!" not "Jeez! ...okay".
Also, the relationship's abusive because the relationship revolves around the fact that she can't (for whatever reason, be it circumstantial or a personality trait) look after herself in any situation. And I understand that that can be seen as romantic, but it is also what every girl in an abusive relationship feels like! that they NEED their boyfriend to look after them.
Throughout the series Bella shows time and time again that even when she THINKS she can take care of herself, she falls painfully short!
ALSO, and possibly the most disturbing point, are the blank pages when Edward leaves. Again, it symbolizes the emptiness she feels without him. One should never feel that you have nothing to offer w/o your significant other! No matter how much Stephanie Meyer wants to call the emptiness a symbol of devotion.
Lastly...sorry, THIS was the most disturbing point...When Bella decides she'll try and kill herself to bring Edward back because she knows he'll have to come back and save her.
Later, she banishes the though, NOT because she should be ashamed she thought that in the first place, but because she's scared of what Edward would think if he knew she was thinking of hurting herself!!!!!! Repeat: she doesn't hurt herself because no healthy person should want to hurt themselves but because she is afraid of the reaction from her boyfriend.
You should never be scared of your boyfriend.
I mean...c'mon!
(as an aside, I know a woman who is fortunately doing just find now and even works as a therapist in an at-risk school, who HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK AND FAINTED, reading the book (I believe after he yells at her in the parking lot/ watching her sleep) because she felt like she was back in an abusive relationship she had been in several years before in which she had to get a restraining order put on her boyfriend)
Sorry, this has been building up for awhile.
Edward never claimed to be perfect, that was entirely something we found to be true ourselves. But there is a REASON why so many people fell in love with Edward. And let me just say now for those who haven't read Twilight - not ONCE in the entire series does Edward Cullen abuse Bella, physically or verbally, and he is nothing but a caring gentleman. Yes, he is old fashioned, but he is not in the least abusive and the person that wrote this did not take into account that the fact that Edward is a vampire, and that may have an effect on some of those points. For example, if you believed yourself to be a monster, I think you'd have pretty low self esteem as well. Oh - therefore you are abusing your girlfriend! Not.
P.S - as for the sex thing, Bella completely pressured Edward into it, and as he is so in love with her after a lot of begging he did give into her, and when he realized he had given her bruises (that was all her 'injuries' were - a few bruises that faded quickly and Bella herself admitted were painless) he was excruciatingly guilty.
If you would like to respond to anything I've said, please send me a message on fanpop and I'll get back to you ASAP.
And about him being a vampire-- there have been vampire/human relationships in literature and television in the past. Sometimes, they ended badly, but when they didn't, it was because there was a mutual respect there that doesn't exist in the Edward/Bella relationship.
Spike and Buffy (though I loathe the couple, it's still realistic), is a great example of this. Spike began to hate his vampiric nature, but as Buffy pulled away from him, he got violent with her and tried to rape her. Rather than tolerate this kind of behavior, as Bella might have done, Buffy instead refuses to talk to Spike, who is so guilt-ridden he goes out to get a soul so that he can have a real conscience again. Was he violent with Buffy because he was a vampire? Yes. Was this glorified as love? Hell no! Did Buffy tolerate it? Never.
Anyway, like I said in the previous response, its not really Edward that's the problem, it's the simpering girl who thinks low enough of herself to take that crap (like being told she can't take care of herself and "he's doing this for her own good")
Just because he IS doing it for her own good doesn't excuse the fact that Stephanie Meyers created a female character who can't act on her own behalf and can't and shouldn't trust herself.
God, Bella sucks.
Even though she's a girl with no personality i do think she's one (if not the most) manipulative and selfish character i've ever read about!
I haven't used a couple of these points, so they should help :)
It's just WRONG!
1. Uncontrolled temper-"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper Bella." We all have personal issues that we need to work on. When a man is telling one of his problems to a woman its because he trusts her and hopes that she will not judge him but instead help him with those problems. In this case he was talking about containing his temper against some perverts that were thinking about doing things to her. I think i would want to hurt someone if they tried to mess with my friends, or my boyfriend. Uncontrolled? I don't think so otherwise he would have snapped their necks in a minute. No?
2. Extreme jealousy- Personally I wouldn't want my boyfriend hanging around a girl that I know has strong feelings for him regardless if that's his best friend. You may call it an insecurity but I think that for me it's more of a respect thing. There needs to be respect in a relationship. I mean are you forgetting that he can read Jacob's thoughts? I agree, Edward might have gotten annoying with the "I don't want you to get hurt thing" but it's not like that stopped her anyway since she still did whatever he told her not to do.
5. Unrealistic expectations of a relationship.- If you consider Bella wanting to become a vampire "fixing her problems," she only wanted to be one partly for her own selfish reasons (beauty, power) and partly to stay with him forever (is there a problem?).
6. Low Self-Esteem- Men naturally feel like it is their duty to protect/provide for the female, if they are unable to do so then yes this affects their manhood. He is realizing that it is his fault that all of this is happening to her and he cannot prevent it. It's only the truth.
7. Rush in to relationships- Just like in the thousands of stories and movies out there. It's nothing new to children/teens. *see Cinderella*
9. Exhibit controlling behavior- Yes he is being controlling here. They were not together here yet, but remember how their first impressions of each other was not a good one? They are just acting like two people that don't like each other when in reality they are interested in one another. This type of relationship goes along the lines of the type of relationship that Elizabeth and Mr.Darcy had in Pride and Prejudice.
12. Believe in male supremacy and the stereotypical masculine role-
I believe that both genders should have balanced rights in a relationship, but i do realize that there are some things that men can do that women cannot do (fight in wars for example) and vice versa (men cannot have babies). There is a difference physcially, emotionally, and mentally and if anyone does not acknowledge that then that's a problem. Also, did you forget that he was born a really long time ago?
13. Use of force during sex- Now you're just making this specifically for him to seem like the bad guy always. Bella was the one that convinced him to have sex with her, he repeatedly warned her that this was going to happen, so he refused. She kept throwing herself at him and the more he refused her the more he was hurting her self-esteem.
In conclusion: Put yourself in the opposite end of things before making any judgments. Also, women have different taste in men (too many to list).
On a personal note: Its ironic how I find that some women i know that state that their husbands or boyfriends are a lot like Edward (and that's why they love these books) have been togeher for a long time.
Cinders please write the one about Bella, i can't wait to see what you come up with her, i already have a few ipressions. it should be twice as long as this one.
I really don't understand how girls could like this, i mean you'd figure they would actually NOTICE Edward's behavior. im wondering how Stephine Meyers could write this and call it love.
Little_Cullen if Edward had claimed to be perfect that would be better. At least he would have been appeared to have a flaw: he would be like those guys that think they are the best. But the way he is presented to us with all the self-hate etc we actually think he is perfect and flawless. There couldn't have been a more dangerous way to present an abusive character than this.
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