i love how witty Buffy is, i think my fave quotes are
"The world is doomed" (last line of the first episode)
"The world is most definitely doomed" (before the battle of chosen the last episode)
what are yours?
So many to choose from, I think every epidode has a worthy quote, but this one always cracks me up by Spike cant remember the episode of the top of my head
out for a walk bitch, while he is counting off his fingers.
Willow: (jumpy) I-I-I'm gonna do work in the computer lab on school
work that I have, so I cannot hang just now. Hi, Ford.
Ford: Morning.
Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.
Willow: What?
Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.
laughs out loud
Willow: It makes me jumpy. I have to go. Away. (hurries off)
Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of
hormonal time bombs. (takes two steps away from Giles) Every time a
pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool.
Giles spots Jenny coming towards them.
Giles: Ms. Calendar!
Jenny: Mr. Giles!
Giles: Well, I, uh, um... Hello!
Snyder: You see the way these kids gaze at each other... all moony.
Jenny: It's good to see you.
Giles: Yes.
Snyder: You think they're thinking about learning?
Giles: Uh, were you headed to the, uh, faculty room?
Jenny: Sounds like fun!
They head off to the faculty room leaving Snyder behind.
Snyder: I try and tell 'em about the important things in life.
Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to
myself.
Written by: Joss Whedon
Directed by: Joss Whedon
Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson
TRANSCRIPT PROVIDED BY TWIZ TV.COM
Copyright (c) 1997 Alexander Thompson
~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to
the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by
Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui
Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.
This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry
transcript of the episode "When She Was Bad". It also includes
descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I
felt they were needed.
I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this
episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please
let me know and I will post an update. rev 98.09.28
This episode was originally broadcast on September 15, 1997.
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
The cemetery. The camera pans across it and over to the sidewalk along
the border. Willow and Xander are on their way home. Xander has an ice
cream cone and takes an occasional lick.
Willow: Okay, um...
Xander: It's your turn.
Willow: I, alright, okay, uh... 'In the few hours that we had together,
we loved a lifetime's worth.'
Xander: Terminator.
Willow: Good! Great.
Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. (imitating Charlton Heston) 'It's a
madhouse! A mad...'
Willow: (interrupts) Planet of the Apes.
Xander: Can I finish, please?
Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead.
Xander: '...house!' (indicates she may answer)
Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh...
Xander: Well?
Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.'
Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess?
Willow: I couldn't think of anything. It's a dumb game anyway.
Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper,
scissors. My hands cramped up.
Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are
gonna strain...
Xander: (interrupts) Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the
most boring summer ever.
Willow: Yeah, but on the plus side no monsters or stuff.
She steps over to the wall and hops up to sit on it.
Xander: I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school
startin' up again.
Willow: Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl
we both know who is a Vampire Slayer?
Xander: Please, I'm so over her. Did she, uh, mention when she might be
gettin' back? About which I do not care.
Willow: I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she
went to L.A., but then, like, nothing.
Xander: Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time.
Willow: And you don't care?
Xander: Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have
certain desires, certain needs...
Willow: Uhhh! I don't wanna know.
Xander: I got a movie for ya! (taps her nose with his ice cream)
Willow: (surprised) Xander!
Xander: You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I
mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!
Willow: Witness. (pouty) My nose is cold.
Xander: Let me get that for ya. (leans in to lick off her nose)
Willow: Xander! (stops him)
Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty.
He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes
much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. He brushes his
hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for a
kiss. She responds in kind and tilts her head. They stop just short of
making contact and linger there a moment. Xander finally begins to pull
back, and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side of
the wall. Willow notices his glance and looks, too. She screams and
jumps off of the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire.
Xander: Willow, go!
He puts himself between her and the vampire. She doesn't go, but watches
as he punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't fazed. He grabs
Xander and tries to bite. Xander struggles with him to keep from being
bitten. After a few moments of wrestling a hand grabs the vampire by the
shoulder and pulls him off of Xander. It's a girl, and she punches the
vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto his
back. She turns to Willow and Xander.
Buffy: Hi, guys!
The vampire gets up. Buffy turns her attention back to him and kicks him
in the chest, sending him flying into a tree, where he gets impaled on a
dead branch and bursts into ashes. She turns back to Willow and Xander.
Buffy: Miss me?
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~
On the sidewalk.
Willow: Buffy!
Xander: Hey! (hugs her)
Buffy: Hey. Hey, Will! (hugs her)
Xander: (hugs Buffy again) Man, your timing really doesn't suck.
(laughs)
Willow: When'd you get back?
Buffy: Uh, just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers
would be getting into some kind of trouble.
Willow: I think we had the upper hand. I-in a subtle way.
Buffy: Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy.
Xander: Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire
we've seen since you killed the Master.
Buffy: It's like they knew I was coming back.
They start to walk.
Xander: So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything?
Buffy: No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major
theme.
Xander: Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire...
Buffy: I did kinda whale on him, didn't I?
Xander: (notices) I like your hair.
Buffy: (giggles) So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun
without me?
Xander: No.
Willow: Yes!
Xander: Uh, our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was
burying the Master.
They stop walking.
Willow: That's right, you missed it. (points) Right out by that tree.
(Buffy looks) Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got
to wear robes.
Xander: Very intense. You shoulda been.
Willow: Have you seen Giles?
Buffy: Why would I do that? I'll see him at school.
Xander: Man, I'm really glad you're back.
Buffy: (looks at the tree again) Me, too.
Cut to Buffy's room. Her dad is helping her mom unpack her things. Joyce
opens a suitcase and looks through it.
Hank: Okay, then. This is the last of it. (puts another suitcase on the
bed)
Joyce: More clothes?
Hank: Oh, do shoes count as clothes?
Joyce: How much shopping did you let her do?
Hank: Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school
clothing nightmare. (unzips the suitcase)
Joyce: My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with
clothes. Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.?
Hank: She did, yeah. She was, um... you know, great.
Joyce: But?
Hank: She was just, I don't know, um... distant. Not brooding or
sulking, just... there was no connection. The more time we spent
together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen.
Joyce: Hence the shoes?
Hank: (hands her the shoes) I may have overcompensated a little bit.
Joyce: Hmm.
Hank: It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff
down I knew what to say.
Joyce: Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to
her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school
year.
Cut to Sunnydale High.
Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare.
Cut to her and two friends coming down some stairs and walking across
the quad.
Cordelia: I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and
then they just decide to go to Tuscany. (exhales) Art and buildings? I
was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I
have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character.
Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible
to have too much character?
Snyder: The first day back. It always gets me.
Giles: Yes.
Cut to the two of them walking along the colonnade.
Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare.
Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling
around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in
sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.
They stop. Snyder looks around, observing the students.
Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your
abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true
vocation?
SPIKE: Most people don't use their tongues to say hello. Or I guess they do, but—
The Killer in Me (Season 7, Episode 13)
BUFFY: BUFFY
No, no, Finn is his last name. Y12eah. Well, did he used to work there and then he got transferred? Oh, is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, OK, right. Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers— Yeah. Thanks. Wrong number. Or a giant government conspiracy, one or the— Spike?
---
(Later)
SOLDIER: Miss Summers. Agent Finn reported that you tried to contact him earlier today.
BUFFY: I knew it! Government conspiracy.
Tabula Rasa (Season 6, Episode 8)
SPIKE: I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
BUFFY: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
The Gift (Season 5, Episode 22)
TARA: Willow ... I got so lost.
WILLOW: I found you ... I will always find you. (SO SAD)
Restless (Season 4, Episode 22)
BUFFY: Ah... Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy
with the cheese.
Graduation Day, Part 2 (Season 3, Episode 22)
CORDELIA: No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and… and…. Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and… uhm chase him… with the box…
XANDER: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.
Becoming, Part 2 (Season 2, Episode 22)
GILES: In order... to be worthy...
ANGELUS: Yeah?
GILES: You must perform the ritual... in a tutu.
Innocence (Season 2, Episode 14)
CORDELIA: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
XANDER: I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.
Bad Eggs (Season 2, Episode 12)
XANDER: Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English
language is all those pesky words. You... Angel... big... smoochies?
There are more, but those are the ones no one had mentioned yet.
Spike to buffy:
You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years. And there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.
I love most of spikes quotes :) They are so funny :) That speech to buffy was very moving tough :)
"Season 2 Halloween
Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.
Season 2 What's my line Part 2
"You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend." - Buffy
Season 3 Lover's walk
You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"-Spike
Season 1 or 2 I can't remember the episode
The gang has just turned round and Angel has just vanished.
"That's it. I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy" -Xander
Season 3 The Prom
Anya: I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: [sighs] I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh, I wonder why not? It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch.
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Season 2 Bewitched,Bothered, & Bewildered
Cordelia: You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? [Xander smiles] I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. [Xander stops smiling]
"Seize the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead." -Buffy (Welcome to the Hellmouth)
Not sure why, I just love that one... along with many others but they've been mentioned already
Buffy: But you I can't believe you got into Oxford!
Willow: It's pretty exciting.
Oz: There's some deep academia there.
Buffy: That's where they make Gileses!
Willow: I know. I could learn, and have scones.
These are some of mine if you haven't noticed i love angel hes my favorite.
All right, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend." -- Buffy
"You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!" -- Xander
It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die... and oh, what about the children? I'll be quiet now." -- Willow
"That the Slayer?"
"Yep."
"Ain't that Angelus with her?"
"Yep."
"Well, how come she ain't slayin'? And how come he's about to make me blush?" -- Tector and Lyle
"I guess I need help."
"Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old, and you already know stuff." -- Angel and Willow
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
"Could you not call me that?" -- Xander and Angel
"You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda." -- Spike
"Oh, he's a _vampire_. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a care bear, with fangs." -- Cordelia
My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! You don't even know what I was writing about!'Hunk'can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are'penetrating', I meant to write'bulging'. And'A'doesn't even stand for'Angel'for that matter, it stands for...'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all..."Buffy
"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."Buffy
"This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" Angel
"I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" Angel
"I don't know nearly enough about this to risk you wearing it. Besides, you got that real cool ax-thing going for you" Angel
She did it! I'll be damned! Angel
BUFFY
Who are you?
ANGEL
Let’s just say I’m a friend.
BUFFY
(exasperated)
Well, maybe I don’t want a friend.
ANYA: [to a customer who just finished her purchase] "Please go."
XANDER: "Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They want me to tell you that, 'Please go' just got replaced with, 'Have a nice day.'"
ANYA: "But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?"
BUFFYBOT: [to Willow] "You're recently gay."
WILLOW: "Okay, yeah, you've been with a vampire before, but Angel had a soul."
BUFFYBOT: "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid."
SPIKE: [from 'Once More, With Feeling'] "I hope she fries, I'm free if that bitch dies! ...I better help her out."
WILLOW: [to Xander, after he said something to make Angel leave] "See? You made him do that thing where he's gone!"
HARMONY: "Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"
SPIKE: "No."
HARMONY: "...Can I make him a vampire?"
SPIKE: "No. Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids, as well."
Season 2 Phases
Larry: So, Oz, man, what's up with that? Dating a junior? Uh, let me guess. That little innocent schoolgirl thing is just, uh, just an act, right?
Oz: Yeah. Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun.
Season 3 Band Candy
Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!
Season 4 Doomed
Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, rrrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!
My all time fave is from Season 4 "Something Blue" when Spike and Buffy are under Willow's Will-It-So Spell and they get engaged. At the end Buffy tries to get Spike to shut up by being rude and he yells, "I wasn't the one that wanted Wind Beneath my Wings for the first dance!"
Buffy: That was the spell!
i dont know this word for word but it goes something like this
"YOu know whenever Giles asked me to do something he always said please and then i got a cookie afterward."-Buffy to Wes
Favorite quote ever is from Spike and it's actually a wordless quote. It's from the silent episode "Hush" and it's when Spike and Xander are arguing, and then Spike holds up two fingers. I always assumed he was saying something like "sod off" but it had became part of my ritual movements since when I want to tell someone off but not say anything.
(Upon seeing the new menu at the Bronze)
Spike (to Buffy)-"Awwh man! They got rid of the flower onion! That was the only thing this place had going for it..."
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"the hardest thin #g in life is to live in it" is actually from two episodes"
buffy- the gift - season 5
dawn - season 6
out for a walk bitch, while he is counting off his fingers.
Love it
Willow: (jumpy) I-I-I'm gonna do work in the computer lab on school
work that I have, so I cannot hang just now. Hi, Ford.
Ford: Morning.
Buffy: Okay, Will, fess up.
Willow: What?
Buffy: Are you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this.
laughs out loud
Willow: It makes me jumpy. I have to go. Away. (hurries off)
Snyder: Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of
hormonal time bombs. (takes two steps away from Giles) Every time a
pretty girl walks by every boy turns into a gibbering fool.
Giles spots Jenny coming towards them.
Giles: Ms. Calendar!
Jenny: Mr. Giles!
Giles: Well, I, uh, um... Hello!
Snyder: You see the way these kids gaze at each other... all moony.
Jenny: It's good to see you.
Giles: Yes.
Snyder: You think they're thinking about learning?
Giles: Uh, were you headed to the, uh, faculty room?
Jenny: Sounds like fun!
They head off to the faculty room leaving Snyder behind.
Snyder: I try and tell 'em about the important things in life.
Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to
myself.
Written by: Joss Whedon
Directed by: Joss Whedon
Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson
TRANSCRIPT PROVIDED BY TWIZ TV.COM
Copyright (c) 1997 Alexander Thompson
~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer ~~~~~~~~~~
I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to
the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by
Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui
Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.
This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry
transcript of the episode "When She Was Bad". It also includes
descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I
felt they were needed.
I made every effort to accurately transcribe the dialogue from this
episode. If you notice anything that is transcribed incorrectly, please
let me know and I will post an update. rev 98.09.28
This episode was originally broadcast on September 15, 1997.
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against
the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
The cemetery. The camera pans across it and over to the sidewalk along
the border. Willow and Xander are on their way home. Xander has an ice
cream cone and takes an occasional lick.
Willow: Okay, um...
Xander: It's your turn.
Willow: I, alright, okay, uh... 'In the few hours that we had together,
we loved a lifetime's worth.'
Xander: Terminator.
Willow: Good! Great.
Xander: Um, oh, okay, I got one. (imitating Charlton Heston) 'It's a
madhouse! A mad...'
Willow: (interrupts) Planet of the Apes.
Xander: Can I finish, please?
Willow: Oh! Sorry, go ahead.
Xander: '...house!' (indicates she may answer)
Willow: Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me. Uh...
Xander: Well?
Willow: I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.'
Xander: Do I even have to dignify that with a guess?
Willow: I couldn't think of anything. It's a dumb game anyway.
Xander: Well, what else do you wanna do? We already played rock, paper,
scissors. My hands cramped up.
Willow: Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are
gonna strain...
Xander: (interrupts) Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the
most boring summer ever.
Willow: Yeah, but on the plus side no monsters or stuff.
She steps over to the wall and hops up to sit on it.
Xander: I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school
startin' up again.
Willow: Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl
we both know who is a Vampire Slayer?
Xander: Please, I'm so over her. Did she, uh, mention when she might be
gettin' back? About which I do not care.
Willow: I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she
went to L.A., but then, like, nothing.
Xander: Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time.
Willow: And you don't care?
Xander: Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have
certain desires, certain needs...
Willow: Uhhh! I don't wanna know.
Xander: I got a movie for ya! (taps her nose with his ice cream)
Willow: (surprised) Xander!
Xander: You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I
mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!
Willow: Witness. (pouty) My nose is cold.
Xander: Let me get that for ya. (leans in to lick off her nose)
Willow: Xander! (stops him)
Xander: I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty.
He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes
much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. He brushes his
hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for a
kiss. She responds in kind and tilts her head. They stop just short of
making contact and linger there a moment. Xander finally begins to pull
back, and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side of
the wall. Willow notices his glance and looks, too. She screams and
jumps off of the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire.
Xander: Willow, go!
He puts himself between her and the vampire. She doesn't go, but watches
as he punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't fazed. He grabs
Xander and tries to bite. Xander struggles with him to keep from being
bitten. After a few moments of wrestling a hand grabs the vampire by the
shoulder and pulls him off of Xander. It's a girl, and she punches the
vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto his
back. She turns to Willow and Xander.
Buffy: Hi, guys!
The vampire gets up. Buffy turns her attention back to him and kicks him
in the chest, sending him flying into a tree, where he gets impaled on a
dead branch and bursts into ashes. She turns back to Willow and Xander.
Buffy: Miss me?
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~
On the sidewalk.
Willow: Buffy!
Xander: Hey! (hugs her)
Buffy: Hey. Hey, Will! (hugs her)
Xander: (hugs Buffy again) Man, your timing really doesn't suck.
(laughs)
Willow: When'd you get back?
Buffy: Uh, just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers
would be getting into some kind of trouble.
Willow: I think we had the upper hand. I-in a subtle way.
Buffy: Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy.
Xander: Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire
we've seen since you killed the Master.
Buffy: It's like they knew I was coming back.
They start to walk.
Xander: So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything?
Buffy: No. Uh, just hung out, partied some, shopping was also a major
theme.
Xander: Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire...
Buffy: I did kinda whale on him, didn't I?
Xander: (notices) I like your hair.
Buffy: (giggles) So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun
without me?
Xander: No.
Willow: Yes!
Xander: Uh, our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was
burying the Master.
They stop walking.
Willow: That's right, you missed it. (points) Right out by that tree.
(Buffy looks) Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got
to wear robes.
Xander: Very intense. You shoulda been.
Willow: Have you seen Giles?
Buffy: Why would I do that? I'll see him at school.
Xander: Man, I'm really glad you're back.
Buffy: (looks at the tree again) Me, too.
Cut to Buffy's room. Her dad is helping her mom unpack her things. Joyce
opens a suitcase and looks through it.
Hank: Okay, then. This is the last of it. (puts another suitcase on the
bed)
Joyce: More clothes?
Hank: Oh, do shoes count as clothes?
Joyce: How much shopping did you let her do?
Hank: Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school
clothing nightmare. (unzips the suitcase)
Joyce: My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with
clothes. Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.?
Hank: She did, yeah. She was, um... you know, great.
Joyce: But?
Hank: She was just, I don't know, um... distant. Not brooding or
sulking, just... there was no connection. The more time we spent
together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen.
Joyce: Hence the shoes?
Hank: (hands her the shoes) I may have overcompensated a little bit.
Joyce: Hmm.
Hank: It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff
down I knew what to say.
Joyce: Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to
her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school
year.
Cut to Sunnydale High.
Cordelia: It was a nightmare, a total nightmare.
Cut to her and two friends coming down some stairs and walking across
the quad.
Cordelia: I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and
then they just decide to go to Tuscany. (exhales) Art and buildings? I
was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I
have. Of course I think that that kind of adversity builds character.
Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible
to have too much character?
Snyder: The first day back. It always gets me.
Giles: Yes.
Cut to the two of them walking along the colonnade.
Snyder: I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare.
Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling
around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in
sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.
They stop. Snyder looks around, observing the students.
Giles: I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your
abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true
vocation?
SPIKE: Most people don't use their tongues to say hello. Or I guess they do, but—
The Killer in Me (Season 7, Episode 13)
BUFFY: BUFFY
No, no, Finn is his last name. Y12eah. Well, did he used to work there and then he got transferred? Oh, is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, OK, right. Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers— Yeah. Thanks. Wrong number. Or a giant government conspiracy, one or the— Spike?
---
(Later)
SOLDIER: Miss Summers. Agent Finn reported that you tried to contact him earlier today.
BUFFY: I knew it! Government conspiracy.
Tabula Rasa (Season 6, Episode 8)
SPIKE: I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
BUFFY: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
The Gift (Season 5, Episode 22)
TARA: Willow ... I got so lost.
WILLOW: I found you ... I will always find you. (SO SAD)
Restless (Season 4, Episode 22)
BUFFY: Ah... Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy
with the cheese.
Graduation Day, Part 2 (Season 3, Episode 22)
CORDELIA: No! No, we'll get a box with the Ebola virus and… and…. Or it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says Ebola on it and… uhm chase him… with the box…
XANDER: I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive.
Becoming, Part 2 (Season 2, Episode 22)
GILES: In order... to be worthy...
ANGELUS: Yeah?
GILES: You must perform the ritual... in a tutu.
Innocence (Season 2, Episode 14)
CORDELIA: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
XANDER: I'm seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.
Bad Eggs (Season 2, Episode 12)
XANDER: Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English
language is all those pesky words. You... Angel... big... smoochies?
There are more, but those are the ones no one had mentioned yet.
Spike to buffy:
You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years. And there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.
I love most of spikes quotes :) They are so funny :) That speech to buffy was very moving tough :)
Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.
Season 2 What's my line Part 2
"You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend." - Buffy
Season 3 Lover's walk
You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it"-Spike
Season 1 or 2 I can't remember the episode
The gang has just turned round and Angel has just vanished.
"That's it. I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy" -Xander
Season 3 The Prom
Anya: I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species, and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: [sighs] I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well, gosh, I wonder why not? It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch.
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Season 2 Bewitched,Bothered, & Bewildered
Cordelia: You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are 'cause I'm not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? [Xander smiles] I'll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is. [Xander stops smiling]
Jenny- Okay the first thing we're gunna do is (turns around and sees buffy) Oh buffy
Xander- Am i asleep already?
Not sure why, I just love that one... along with many others but they've been mentioned already
Buffy: But you I can't believe you got into Oxford!
Willow: It's pretty exciting.
Oz: There's some deep academia there.
Buffy: That's where they make Gileses!
Willow: I know. I could learn, and have scones.
All right, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend." -- Buffy
"You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!" -- Xander
It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die... and oh, what about the children? I'll be quiet now." -- Willow
"That the Slayer?"
"Yep."
"Ain't that Angelus with her?"
"Yep."
"Well, how come she ain't slayin'? And how come he's about to make me blush?" -- Tector and Lyle
"I guess I need help."
"Help? You mean like on homework? No, 'cause you're old, and you already know stuff." -- Angel and Willow
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
"Could you not call me that?" -- Xander and Angel
"You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda." -- Spike
"Oh, he's a _vampire_. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a care bear, with fangs." -- Cordelia
My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! You don't even know what I was writing about!'Hunk'can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are'penetrating', I meant to write'bulging'. And'A'doesn't even stand for'Angel'for that matter, it stands for...'Achmed', a charming foreign exchange student, so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all..."Buffy
"I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."Buffy
"This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" Angel
"I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" Angel
"I don't know nearly enough about this to risk you wearing it. Besides, you got that real cool ax-thing going for you" Angel
She did it! I'll be damned! Angel
BUFFY
Who are you?
ANGEL
Let’s just say I’m a friend.
BUFFY
(exasperated)
Well, maybe I don’t want a friend.
ANGEL
I didn’t say I was yours…
XANDER: "Anya, the Shopkeepers Union of America called. They want me to tell you that, 'Please go' just got replaced with, 'Have a nice day.'"
ANYA: "But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?"
BUFFYBOT: [to Willow] "You're recently gay."
WILLOW: "Okay, yeah, you've been with a vampire before, but Angel had a soul."
BUFFYBOT: "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid."
SPIKE: [from 'Once More, With Feeling'] "I hope she fries, I'm free if that bitch dies! ...I better help her out."
WILLOW: [to Xander, after he said something to make Angel leave] "See? You made him do that thing where he's gone!"
HARMONY: "Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"
SPIKE: "No."
HARMONY: "...Can I make him a vampire?"
SPIKE: "No. Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids, as well."
Larry: So, Oz, man, what's up with that? Dating a junior? Uh, let me guess. That little innocent schoolgirl thing is just, uh, just an act, right?
Oz: Yeah. Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun.
Season 3 Band Candy
Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!
Season 4 Doomed
Spike: I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her! She is the Chosen One, after all. Come one, vampires, rrrr, nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for... the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!
Buffy: That was the spell!
"YOu know whenever Giles asked me to do something he always said please and then i got a cookie afterward."-Buffy to Wes
Spike (to Buffy)-"Awwh man! They got rid of the flower onion! That was the only thing this place had going for it..."
LOL!!!!!!!