Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him back to heaven. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the Bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris travelled back in time to stop the JFK assassination; as the killer fired the bullets, he jumped in the way and deflected them away with his beard. JFK was so amazed that his head exploded.
oh oh and this one There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.