This topic is for fun. Just make up funny scenarios that would never happen on set.
It's 4 a.m. and Lindsay drunkly staggers into a deserted lab, sits down at a desk, lays her head down on the computer keybord and goes to sleep. Mac shows up around 6 a.m. or whatever time a good CSI boss would appear and notices Lindsay at her desk.
Mac : Have you been here all night ?
Linds: Yeah, well, you know, I really want to crack this case.
Mac : You're keen - I like that !
Linds *stands up and looks at Mac straight in the eyes* : I'm just doing my job, Mac
Danny: Uhm..Mac..Have you ever put a jelly in a glass of water and left it over night ?
Mac : Sure, the jelly absorbs all the water and swells up, why ?
Danny: I... might've pushed Lindsay in a bucket with water and left her over night..
Mac : Oh my God !..
Picture Mac prancing around in front of a mirror, flexing his muscles and yelling (to no one in particular)
Mac: You' ready for the BIG-MAC, bee-yatch ?! Yeah baby! You' ready for the BIG-MAC ?!? Yeah !!..
Stella: Mac, what did you write here?
Mac: What?..uhm ..well..what's that ?
Stella: It's your writing ! It's the notebook you got out from your pocket when we were investigating the crime scene.I'm kinda' having problems with some details, so this notebook may be useful..
Mac:How did you get my notebook ?
Stella: It doesn't matter, come on, focus ! This is really important !
Mac: To be honest..I can't understand my writing either..
Danny *shows up*: Hey, Stella, you got a minute ?
Stella: Sure..here Mac *gives him the notebook* I'll be back later..Please give me a hand with this..
Mac *after Danny and Stella left*: I really have to learn their names tonight ! So..Stella is the girl I just talked to..that kid was..uhm..oh there it is..Danny..
Mac: Damn this is gonna take forever..we're gonna be in the lab all day..uhm..*looks in the crowd around the crime scene* I think...That guy *points at some pore random shmuck* did it !!
Danny: I agree. Get him, Flack !
Flack *In disbelief*: Is this legal ?
Mac: Sure, trust us, we're CSIs
Flack: O..K..
Mac: Hey Stella, come here for a minute, I need to talk to you.
Stella : Mac, I'm in the middle of a really big case right now.
Mac : Please, Stella..I really need to tell you this !
Stella : Mac..are you ok ? What happened ? What is it ?
Mac : Close the door..Uhm..Stella, I am your suspect. I am the suspect in your case but..don't tell anyone, just go find some punk on the street, get him to touch something and call it him !..
Stella: Mac, you can't be the suspect ! The DNA found was a female's
Mac *unzips his face, his fake suit, revealing a woman's face and dress* : I'm...a woman...
Imagine Mac, Don and Danny walking drunk. Don has a flowered lampshape on his head and they all go like: "We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine..."
*Mac is sitting in his office reading a file, when Danny runs up to his office door shouting about the evidence he just found in the case*
Danny: Mac, Mac I just found out that...(Bang !)
*Danny runs straight into the see-through glass door. He falls on the floor. Mac looks up and just smiles evily*
*Don walks past Danny*
Don: What happened to Da..(Bang !)
Mac: And that's why I keep my office doors so wonderfully clean!!...
*Mac comes into work drunk*
Stella: Mac are you drunk?
Mac: You're soooo pretty
Stella: OK...what do you want?
Mac: *hiccup*
*Danny walks in*
Danny: Woooah!! I did not need to see that!
*walks back out*
Stella: Mac! Get off me! Mac? Are you still alive?
One day at the NY crime lab there is a simultaneous scream of ' NOOO !'.
Mac: What's wrong with everyone ? My DNA test came back negative!..
Stella: The GCMS is broken and I can't finish my work !
Don: A suspect got away !..
Danny: The vending machine's out of chocolate!
*everyone stares at Danny*
Danny: What ?!? A man needs his chocolate!
Stella: Mac? Why is your hair pink ?
Mac: I had a bit too much 2 drink last night..Anyway, you think I'm bad ? Wait till you see Lindsay !
*Lindsay walks in with no hair at all*
Lindsay*in reaction to Stella's look of disgust*: Well I thought it was a good idea at the time !...
*Mac and Stella are in his office*
Stella: You did WHAT!?
Mac: I'm resigning!
*Danny, Lindsay and Hawkes here and walk into his office and scream*
Lindsay: Why?
Danny and Hawkes: Yeahh, um, why?
*Mac looks at Danny and Hawkes*
Mac: You two should know, you guys resigned too remember?
*Lindsay looks at them*
Lindsay: OK, what's going on here?
Mac: I'm going to be a stripper. The old marines uniform still fits you know?
Stella: You're kidding me?
Mac: No, really, it does still fit!
*Mac enters the autopsy lab, looking for Sid to talk to him about the newest victim. Hears some strange voices, so he walks slowly towards the autopsy table*
*he sees Sid from behind, holding the victim and talking to it*
Mac: Sid, are you OK ?
Sid: And now, Mr. Ricky will show us how to dance merengue! *starts dancing with the victim*
Mac *louder*: Sid !!
Sid *hears him and turns around scared*: Oh, Mac..I was just..uhm..gettig to know the vic better..besides, he's a good merengue partner..
Stella: Uhh...gross...
-the dead body was cut open and the intestines can be seen-
Mac: Don't touch anything. *takes photos* *turns around for a moment*
Stella: *touches intestines*
Mac: *turns around* Stella!! ><
Stella: Sorry. Oo
Mac: *turns around again to talk to a suspect*
Stella: *starts taking the gut out*
Sid:*comes and sees Stella* Nooo, this is my job! Go awayyyy!
Stella: Oh come on...I saw him first.
Sid: He is mine! Mac!! Tell her to keep her hands off this dead body!
Mac: *sighs*
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Mac : Sure, the jelly absorbs all the water and swells up, why ?
Danny: I... might've pushed Lindsay in a bucket with water and left her over night..
Mac : Oh my God !..
Mac: You' ready for the BIG-MAC, bee-yatch ?! Yeah baby! You' ready for the BIG-MAC ?!? Yeah !!..
Stella: Mac, what did you write here?
Mac: What?..uhm ..well..what's that ?
Stella: It's your writing ! It's the notebook you got out from your pocket when we were investigating the crime scene.I'm kinda' having problems with some details, so this notebook may be useful..
Mac:How did you get my notebook ?
Stella: It doesn't matter, come on, focus ! This is really important !
Mac: To be honest..I can't understand my writing either..
Danny *shows up*: Hey, Stella, you got a minute ?
Stella: Sure..here Mac *gives him the notebook* I'll be back later..Please give me a hand with this..
Mac *after Danny and Stella left*: I really have to learn their names tonight ! So..Stella is the girl I just talked to..that kid was..uhm..oh there it is..Danny..
Mac: Damn this is gonna take forever..we're gonna be in the lab all day..uhm..*looks in the crowd around the crime scene* I think...That guy *points at some pore random shmuck* did it !!
Danny: I agree. Get him, Flack !
Flack *In disbelief*: Is this legal ?
Mac: Sure, trust us, we're CSIs
Flack: O..K..
After 20 minutes of searchin' for evidence at a crime scene:
Mac : Nope! Not a thing!
Stella: Me neither..
Mac :Wanna grab a hot dog?
Stella: Sure !
Stella : Mac, I'm in the middle of a really big case right now.
Mac : Please, Stella..I really need to tell you this !
Stella : Mac..are you ok ? What happened ? What is it ?
Mac : Close the door..Uhm..Stella, I am your suspect. I am the suspect in your case but..don't tell anyone, just go find some punk on the street, get him to touch something and call it him !..
Stella: Mac, you can't be the suspect ! The DNA found was a female's
Mac *unzips his face, his fake suit, revealing a woman's face and dress* : I'm...a woman...
*Mac is sitting in his office reading a file, when Danny runs up to his office door shouting about the evidence he just found in the case*
Danny: Mac, Mac I just found out that...(Bang !)
*Danny runs straight into the see-through glass door. He falls on the floor. Mac looks up and just smiles evily*
*Don walks past Danny*
Don: What happened to Da..(Bang !)
Mac: And that's why I keep my office doors so wonderfully clean!!...
*Mac comes into work drunk*
Stella: Mac are you drunk?
Mac: You're soooo pretty
Stella: OK...what do you want?
Mac: *hiccup*
*Danny walks in*
Danny: Woooah!! I did not need to see that!
*walks back out*
Stella: Mac! Get off me! Mac? Are you still alive?
Mac: What's wrong with everyone ? My DNA test came back negative!..
Stella: The GCMS is broken and I can't finish my work !
Don: A suspect got away !..
Danny: The vending machine's out of chocolate!
*everyone stares at Danny*
Danny: What ?!? A man needs his chocolate!
XD
Mac: I had a bit too much 2 drink last night..Anyway, you think I'm bad ? Wait till you see Lindsay !
*Lindsay walks in with no hair at all*
Lindsay*in reaction to Stella's look of disgust*: Well I thought it was a good idea at the time !...
(not as good as yours but..)
*Mac and Stella are in his office*
Stella: You did WHAT!?
Mac: I'm resigning!
*Danny, Lindsay and Hawkes here and walk into his office and scream*
Lindsay: Why?
Danny and Hawkes: Yeahh, um, why?
*Mac looks at Danny and Hawkes*
Mac: You two should know, you guys resigned too remember?
*Lindsay looks at them*
Lindsay: OK, what's going on here?
Mac: I'm going to be a stripper. The old marines uniform still fits you know?
Stella: You're kidding me?
Mac: No, really, it does still fit!
*Mac enters the autopsy lab, looking for Sid to talk to him about the newest victim. Hears some strange voices, so he walks slowly towards the autopsy table*
*he sees Sid from behind, holding the victim and talking to it*
Mac: Sid, are you OK ?
Sid: And now, Mr. Ricky will show us how to dance merengue! *starts dancing with the victim*
Mac *louder*: Sid !!
Sid *hears him and turns around scared*: Oh, Mac..I was just..uhm..gettig to know the vic better..besides, he's a good merengue partner..
at a crime scene...
Stella: Uhh...gross...
-the dead body was cut open and the intestines can be seen-
Mac: Don't touch anything. *takes photos* *turns around for a moment*
Stella: *touches intestines*
Mac: *turns around* Stella!! ><
Stella: Sorry. Oo
Mac: *turns around again to talk to a suspect*
Stella: *starts taking the gut out*
Sid:*comes and sees Stella* Nooo, this is my job! Go awayyyy!
Stella: Oh come on...I saw him first.
Sid: He is mine! Mac!! Tell her to keep her hands off this dead body!
Mac: *sighs*