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Secondhand Sex
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Secondhand Sex You may not remember, but it was only a few years ago that you could walk into almost any public place and have a powerful coughing fit. Cigarette smoke wafted from wall to wall in restaurants, office buildings and hotel lobbies. If you weren't a smoker or didn't want to be one, you at least felt like one because you ended up breathing in the poison everyone else was deliberately sucking into their lungs. But then people began to protest. They argued that smokers were violating their right to breath! Many of those who raised their voice were looked at as a small group of troublemakers trying to limit the rights of others. But the voice of those seeking "fresh air" became louder and more voiced their concerns. Finally, scientists began studying the actual effects of "secondhand smoke." Once the harmful consequences became known, non-smokers had the ammunition they needed to battle for a real change. And they won. As a result, laws were passed to forbid smoking in many public buildings. Huge, class-action lawsuits forced the producers of tobacco products to pay for the harm they'd done over the years. Bottom-line, no one should be allowed to profit from harming other people. There exists today a very similar situation and it has to do with the "over-sexualization" of our society. You don't need to see any data to know that our society is now saturated with sensuality. It seems that everywhere you go, someone is trying to bombard you with sexual images. From magazines to billboards, to TV shows and commercials, to movies, to video games - you name it - it's everywhere. Even if you don't want to look at it, you can't help it. Just try to by something at the grocery store without having sexual images forced on you by the magazines at the checkout stand. Like secondhand smoke, these images invade our public places and private spaces. Whether you like it or not you can't get away from it because it's all around you. It's called secondhand sex. The Suffocation of Secondhand Sex Secondhand sex is everywhere, and you are forced to breathe it in. There are virtually no safe-zones, no protected public airwaves, no magazine racks that aren't blaring the latest "best sex tips" headline. Even PG rated movies that are supposed to be okay for children contain references to sex that would need explanation. Teen magazines try to sell you dangerous advice, like "how you'll know when it's time to have intercourse". In fact, to make you think that sex is no big deal, these magazines don't even refer to it as intercourse anymore - it's just called "hooking up." You might be saying "Come on, I don't think it's that big of a deal." People used to think the same thing when it came to secondhand smoke - until scientists proved otherwise. Researchers have begun to study secondhand sex as well. They've left no doubt about the harmful effects that this sexual bombardment is having on you. A new study by the Medical Institute for Sexual Health found that the average teen spends 3 to 4 hours in front of the TV each day - which will include an average of 6.7 scenes with sexual topics every hour! On top of that, the average teen listens to nearly 40 hours of radio each week and 42 percent of it contain sexual content that is either "pretty explicit" or "very explicit". Their research led Dr. Joe McIlhaney Jr., one of the presidents in the industry to say, "kids are overexposed to sex." He also admits, "It's everywhere...even if they tried, kids can't escape it." I just gave you a few facts from TV and music, but imagine if you add all the influences from time spent online, watching movies, reading magazines, and the influence from peers. Does it have an effect? Researchers from the study concluded that teens constantly exposed to sexual content are "more likely that other adolescents" to have permissive attitudes towards premarital sex. Not convinced that all this sexual brainwashing really effects you? A 2004 study by the RAND corporation discovered: Teens who watch a lot of such sexualized programming are twice as likely to engage in sexual intercourse themselves. Rebecca Collins, the psychologist who led the study said, "This is the strongest evidence yet that the sexual content of television programs encourages adolescents to initiate sexual intercourse and other sexual activities. The impact of television viewing is so large that even a moderate shift in the sexual content of adolescent TV watching could have a substantial effect on their sexual behavior." Below are some other findings by the Alan Guttmacher Institute: - Average age of first sex: 15.8 years - Average length of first sexual relationship: 3.8 months - 24.3% of adolescents reported having sex during the same months as the start of the relationship (37.5% had sex 1 to 3 months after the start of the relationship and 40/1% after 4 months) - 23.4% of first sexual relationships were "one-night stands" (21.2% for girls and 26.5% for guys) - Girls reported that their first sexual partner was 1.8 years older, on average; guys said 0.1 years younger - 16.7% of adolescents (20.6% girls and 11.2% guys) who took virginity pledges became sexually active It seems everyday I talk to the teens behind the statistics and hear the heartache and confusion they are going through trying to fight against the onslaught against them. "I know the Bible says you can't have sex before marriage. But why can't you, if you're in love with the person? It doesn't feel wrong." - Kendra, 14 "My boyfriend and I don't want to mess around anymore. But how do we keep this commitment? I never realized how powerful passion can be." - Shari, 15 "Kids at school are pressuring me and my girlfriend to have sex. I want to wait until marriage, but I worry about how this makes me look." - Darryl, 17 "Recently I had sex with a guy, thinking that it would bring us closer. I know now that was a mistake, and I feel totally ashamed." - Aimee, 16 Perhaps you can relate to these young people who have learned too much, too early, by their exposure to secondhand sex. God put up boundaries and designed sex for the intimacy of marriage for a reason. This generation is getting hurt! Their minds have been violated and they have lost their innocence and purity too fast! As we've seen, science has now proven the devastating, destructive connection between this overexposure to sex and a person's behavior. So many from your generation have lost their virginity, their physical health, and their moral compass. Many have lost their dreams by getting pregnant out of the protection of a marriage - and a lot of them have lost their babies in the process. Some have even lost their lives. Doesn't it make you mad to think that someone's trying to talk you into life-destroying behaviors? Think about your future husband or wife - right now, the same thing is being done to them. It would be bad enough if it stopped here. But I'm afraid the world of the Internet is also full of sexual terrorists. Point-and-Click Porn This great new technology we all benefit from can also be a portal for the pornography industry to lure you in. Just point and click to whatever you want - or don't want. It's almost impossible to avoid because you don't even have to go looking for it. By 1999 "one in five children between the ages of 10 and 17 received a sexual solicitation over the Internet." In fact, based on her Department of Justice study, Judith Reisman says that "much of the multi-billion dollar pornography industry focused on attracting 12 to 17-year-old boys to ensure lifetime addict consumers." Is their plot to lure in young viewers like yourself working? It's obviously no coincidence that the largest consumers of Internet pornography are kids in the 12 to 17 age group. I hope you're beginning to see the trap that's being laid out for you. They give you a taste of lewd material from the store, and then from a commercial. You read more about it in a fashion magazine. Then you hear the constant references to it in "family hour" sitcoms. Next you are bombarded by it by MTV. So when finally an e-mail comes that allows you to see a porn site, you have already been baited and are ripe to become addicted. Is their strategy working? Family Safe Media reports that 80% of 15-to-17-year-olds have had multiple hard-core porn exposures. And 90% of 8-to-16-year-olds have viewed porn online (most while doing homework). That means that you and your future spouse have more than likely already been victims. Getting an Extreme Brain Makeover I want to show you some of the research that has been discovered about what pornography does to your brain. While some quote may seems confusing at first, I want you to see the actual quotes to see that this is not just my opinion but medical fact. In the 1970s, it was discovered that the viewing of pornography can actually damage your brain! Almost all teens have had exposure to sexual images and most are exposed on a repeated basis. Each time this happens, your mind is actually restructured through pornography's "erotoxins". Erotoxins is a type of brain poisoning. For more explanation, check out what Dr. Judith Reisman says: Thanks to the latest advances in neuroscience, we now know that pornographic images imprint and alter the brain, triggering an instant, involuntary, but lasting, biochemical memory trail, arguably subverting the First Amedment by overriding the cognitive speech process. This is true of so-called "soft-core" and "hard-core" porn. And once new neuro-chemical pathways are established they are difficult or impossible to delete. Pornographic images also causes the secretion of the body's "fight or flight" hormones. This triggers excitatory transmitters and produces non-rational, involuntary reactions; intense arousal states that overlap sexual lust - now with fear, shame, and/or hostility and violence. Media erotic fantasies become deeply embedded, commonly coarsening, confusing, motivating and addicting many of those exposed. Pornography triggers myriad kinds of internal, natural drugs that mimic the "high" from a street drug. Addiction to pornograohpy is addiction to what I call erotoxins - mind-altering drugs produced by the viewer's own brain. How does this "brain sabotage" occur? Brain scientists tell us that "in 3/10 of a second a visual image passes from the eye through the brain, and whether or not one wants to, the brain is structurally changed and memories are created. We literally 'grow new brain' with each visual experience." In case you didn't catch it, Dr. Reisman was saying that every single time you see porn, whether it is "soft-core" or "hard-core", it changes your brain in a negative way and brings you closer to addiction. Porn creates memory trails and feelings that are almost impossible to undo. Permanent Damage As the images of pornography continue to be imprinted on the brain, it is next to impossible to return your mind to its normal state. In fact, the U.S. Government Accounting Office showed no success rate for sex offender "treatment." Why? Because according to Dr. Mary Anne Layden, "Images dominate rational thought, especially in the teenage developing brain." What this means is that these images, and what they do to our brains, are so powerful that they override our ability to think rationally. Dr. Reisman explains it further when she said the human brain obeys a "law of strength." That means "strong, fearful, arousing and confusing sexual and sado-sexual images will always dominate, occupy and colonize the brain and replace cognition, despite any disclaimers used in 'sex education'." She is saying that the brain obeys whatever is the strongest impulse at the time; the brain gives attention to that thought. As a result, any thoughts that are powerful or fearful or arousing will always win out for our brain's attention. Even if our brains hold logical information about why we should not have sex, our brains will override those thoughts in the moment because the arousing pornographic thought is stronger and will win our brain's attention. It's All About the Gateway You have probably heard of physical addictions to things like drugs and alcohol, but the concept of a mental addiction to something like pornography may be somewhat new. In reality both happen in much the same way. When talking about drug addiction, most hard-core drug addiction starts with what are called "gateway drugs". It is a proven fact that most kids who use illicit drugs started out with an addiction to alcohol or tobacco. Simply put, gateway drug use leads to hard-core use. The Child Trends Data Bank confirms this when it says "youth who are known to use one substance often use other substances as well." Because of this gateway concept, the anti-drug movement strives to curb the access and usage of gateway drugs in order to keep serious addictions to a minimum. The point is this: The "soft porn" of movies, the music industry and channels like MTV are serving as a gateway to harder-core pornography. When you consider the size of the porn industry, it's clear that the gateway influences are doing their job. Just how big is the porn industry? It's about 57 billion dollar per year big. And just how big is that? Well it's bigger than the revenue grossed by all the teams in the National Basketball Association, all the teams in the National Hockey League, and all the teams in the Major League Baseball - combined! This industry is huge and it's getting bigger every day as they pull more of you into their clutches. It is hard to deny that pornography (namely, any kind of sexually explicit material or programming) may be the most prevalent and most destructive issue facing your generation. |
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i really dont agree with anything in this article at all..smoking causes cancer and sex isnt bad or or wrong or dangerous to your health. thats a really bad comparison. generally, lack of education and communication is the problem, not sex!
The article brings up some interesting points, but the dogma totally ruins it.
Sex is not inherently bad. Irresponsible sex is.
You know, it angers me a lot that I have to shield my little brother's eyes from the raunchy Victoria's Secret posters plastered up in the windows when my family goes to the mall. It angers me that I can't watch a single sitcom without being subjected to innuendo and sex jokes. It angers me that I can't surf the web without stumbling across ads for porn and cyber sex. It angers me that teens like me are being hurt daily by all this junk, and either people aren't aware of it or they don't care! ENOUGH! I WANT TO BREATHE!
If people enjoy sleaze, fine. But I wish they'd at least keep it to themselves so the rest of us "non-smokers" don't have to breathe it in.
firstly there are pg radio shows, pg tv show, pg films ect what references to sex exactly are you meaning? i have never watched something specifically designed for kids in which i have noticed sexual innuendos. There are plently of places you can take your money if you don't want to buy in to the sex market but the reason why it is advertised everywhere is because it sells, just like we are bombarded by food adverts simply because two very basic humans needs are food and sex
I have also never seen a teen magazine refer to sex as hooking up, i find a lot of off hand very exaggerated remarks in this article but this one made me giggle, if you actually read teen magazines (which i do as i am a teen :)) they often stress the importance of being safe when it comes to sex, they also normally have a questions and sex advice page and most of the time it's either medical advice or advice on making sure your ready before having sex or giving away your virginity
now to the biggest problem i have with this arguement, yes your statistics show their is more sex in the media but....so what? this proves nothing. you can give me statistics about how much teens are having sex but you having given me anything to compare them to, their two separates sets of data with nothing to say that one if effecting the other accept your say so. Children have been exposed to sex for many years it's not something new but what is new is the amount of sex education they have, they amount of resources and help they have to make their own decision whether that be to look in to taking a vow of abstinence they can find support easily or to going on the pill same applies
also "some have even lost their lives" erm.... what? I missed the news headline which read "teen died from watching sex scene on gossip girl" again this article is so OTT and it seems brain washing itself in trying to get you to fear anything sexual
all this stuff with porn addiction? do you know how many things you can become addicted to? practically anything of life that you enjoy even stuff you body needs like food
porn can also be a completly safe outlet for people to enjoy what ever sexual fantasy they wish in the safety of their home
this stuff about the image linking forgive me if i am wrong but is that not basically a memory reaction same as pretty much any memory, that's NOT brain damage
same with this talk of permanent damage that's pretty much just human wants over human rationality again NOT brain damage it's like me watching the new episode of skins instead of doing my coursework, it's not rational it's not good for my interests and you could if you were so inclined blame the advert
I think advert plays hugely of people's fears for their children, it also doesn't state exactly what they want all sex in the media? stricter rules on the water shed? what? if people are so worried about their teens seeing sex (which they shouldn't be again a normal thing so be curious about, something which shouldn't be hidden and tabboo) then they can personally puts locks on their internet searchers they can censor what their children watch, that's what the water shed is there for but at the end of the say none of this stuff in this article suggest that sex is actually harmful to you all i see is the writing of someone who is scared of people turning away from the church to enjoy the natural thing of sex
sorry if my argument is a bit harsh but i went a bit further than ii would have done normally as i know this wasn't written by you even though i think i have accidentally put in a few "yous"
Also, did you write this book? Soapboxes are for original articles not for articles or excerpts written by others.
Whether you're standing in a smoky room or a watching a racy film, and whether or not you choose to join in what you're breathing or seeing, your can still be harmed...physically, or mentally. That's one of the big, main points of the article. Too much secondhand sex may not cause physical harm like secondhand smoke or drugs do, but it can seriously damage your mind. And in some ways, that's worse than physical harm.
No I didn't write this, but I felt the message was important and needed to get out, and I didn't have the time to write my own essay-thingy. I may later on.
Do allow me to ask a question, though: If I'd posted an excerpt from a book that talks about how lots of sex is healthy or how we need to prevent global warming or some other topic...would you still have pointed that out? If you feel that you need to report this for copyright issues or something, or if you want me to take this down, that's fine and I understand. But it still makes me wonder. Forgive me if I'm just making assumptions.
I'm not going to report you to the copyright police (how would i even do that?) or make you take this down. I'd just rather you post this as a link or the start of a discussion forum. I look forward to your post.
but i think katie's point was that you can chose not to look at racy film on tv however you can't chose not to breathe
(although the whole smoke arguement doesn't really work for me as i don't agree with the smoking ban in pubs and clubs)
And I'm sorry, amazondebs! I didn't skip over you on purpose, and yes I'm working on a reply. Today was my 18th b-day, so things have been a little crazy. :-) I may not reply right away, but I will hurry and get to you when I can! *offers another chocolate chip cookie?...*
happy birthday!
I lived between two houses, and in one I wasn't really supervised and I watched TV for people older than me from a young age (never porn, things like SATC) and I've never been promiscuous. In my mothers house I was well informed about sex and its consequences and as I had a good knowledge and upbringing there I behaved responsibly. I'm living proof that watching shows like that doesn't influence the behaviour of someone who was raised well, informed on the subject and reasonably supervised.
It's the same with all my friends. The ones who were raised well, and also not too shielded either (as that leads to people not having the info they need or rebelling) all behaved responsibly towards sex, and in fact none lost their virginity below the legal age. The only people I knew who did were the ones who either had parents who didn't give them boundaries and teach them or the ones whose parents went the way this article suggests, shielding them from sex and not having an open dialogue about it so they knew the consequences.
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