Edward & Alice

Ashley WIN!!!!

Submitted by KarinaCullen 3 months ago

Submitted by AliceHaleCullen 4 months ago

Submitted by AliceHaleCullen 4 months ago

Submitted by AliceHaleCullen 4 months ago

Submitted by AliceHaleCullen 4 months ago

Excerpt:
10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

Excerpt:
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.

9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”