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Reasons To Vote for Cinders-Devience and NOT Papa-Debs for President!
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1) First of all, how about that title? papa-debs? Even papa-amazondebs. It sounds an awful lot like "Papa Smurf" doesn't it, folks? The truth of the matter is that papa and debs are NOT as fanpopalicious (or fanpapalicious depending on which region of Fanpopdom you hail from) as they appear to be. The truth is, they are secret smurf supporters! And none of us want the smurfs to be in power, do we? Traitors! 2) How about the suspicious lack of capitalization to both of their names, eh? What does this say about the candidates' commitment to the job? How important is this to them, if they didn't think their names were important enough to capitalize? For shame! 3) Let's not forget that papa has shown dictatorial leanings in the past. How much does he really support the democratic system? How long will it be before he changes the title of "president" to "world leader" or, worse yet, "Sole leader of all things Fanpop!" Only it won't be "Fanpop" anymore-- it will be "Fanpapa!" 4) And how about that suspicious military record? Amazondebs claims to have partaken in the War on Trolls, but she has been AWOL for quite some time now. Is she ditching her patriotic duty? 5) Where do they stand on the issues? Neither debs nor papa have made a public statement on what they intend to do to personally improve your daily life. 6) Unlike papa-debs, Cinders cordially promises to be your personal best friend for her whole term, and you may call on her whenever you want to. You have permission to impress people at parties by saying, "I know the president, personally" and if anyone asks Cinders to corroborate, she pledges to say that this is true. 7) Cinders and DrDevience also pledge to be constantly vigilant when it comes to national security. We will each personally continue to fight the War on Trolls, the War on Stupidity, and the War on Chat Speak and Poor Grammar. Do you have a stupid, chat-speaking troll on your doorstep and you don't know how to make it go away? Call on Cinders and DrDevience to save the day! 8) As a die-hard fan of the Debate Spot, and a dedicated fan of Human Rights, Cinders knows the controversial issues that are closest to your heart. And she will take up your cause, all you need to do is ask. She will listen to your complaints and she will fight for you. 9) The healing and happy powers of Cinders famous cookies are now yours to experience whenever you please, as whoever votes for Cinders gets a life time supply of cookies to have whenever they want. 10) Cinders pledges to eloquently write all of her own speeches and campaign promises, and she also pledges to start paying all her interns and giving them benefits, not to mention free cookies whenever they want them. Interns will get paid vacation, full dental, health, home owner's, car and life insurance. She pledges to stop having DrDevience beat her interns with her cane until the interns write a decent speech for her. She also pledges not to fire all of her interns after she finishes reading this speech. If she's not too hung over. So there you have it. Ten reasons to vote for Cinders and DrDevience and NOT papa and amazondebs, written by the brilliantly eloquent Cinders herself... Hey wait a minute, what's that about interns?
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On a seperate, unrelated note, please disregard the suspicious nature of my user name. I'm sorry it's not capitalized...I swear, it doesn't mean anything!!! ;D
To the papa-debs campaign: are you planning on posting a rebuttal, or should I just cast my vote now? =P
But, who cares if it is! You'll get my vote.
I fully expect slander from the opposing side.
chel, you are a convert. I do not doubt your dedication one measly bit.
If people can talk to you personally, why did you renew the restraining order against me, Carly? Again?
Screw this, I'm just going to sit at home on election day and eat breadsticks.
Debs would be a worthy coup d'etat co-conspirator though :-P
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