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...makes a House your home!<3
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Nobody said it was easy, ... no one ever said it would be this hard
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First of all I want to apologize. I'm really sorry for leaving like this, without saying a word. It was not planned and I don't want to stay away from fanpop but at the moment there are too many things going on in real life. Most of them do not work out as planned. At all. Some of you might have noticed that I applied for spending a year in America. It's a special program called "au pair". I'll live with a family for an entire year, care for the children when their parents are working, go to college once a week and meet other au pairs from all over the world. That was my plan. Reality is different (and sucks): I applied in August and got my first reply in October, I posted it on this spot as a pick, when I was totally stunned and shocked that I had been called by a family. Well, the fact that I am writing this may give you the answer how it ended. I'm still "stuck" here at home in Germany. The father decided against me and I was not really mad at him (I was only mad because he didn't tell me he did not want me, I had to call the agency). I needed three times to actually dial the number and talk to the worker there. All she told me was: Don't worry, another family will call you soon. That was about 4 weeks ago. And I am getting more and more nervous and desperate. Because it is my future and me and my mom fight quite often these days. Neither her nor me are happy with the current situation, as I am sitting at home, with nothing to do. The bad thing is that I don't have much time. I could have begun to study this month and too see all my friends and former class mates either studying, spending a year abroad, doing a job training, working or at least doing something (useful) is not really good for my mood and attitude. So I have to call the agency soon and telling them everything, though they can't really change anything. Except for telling me how good or bad my chances are to find a family (soon!). Because if they're bad, I will apply for any university, either here in Germany, in Austria, or somewhere else. Or I will do work and travel. The summer semester starts in March and maybe I will be studying then. I can't really afford losing a year or two. If it should work out on the other hand, I would so go to America, as it is my dream to do so. It's the thing I want to do most right now and it feels right. But if it should not work out, then I have to to do something else. One reason why I haven't called the office in Berlin is also the fear that they don't have any good news for me. I'm only sure of one thing: It can't go on like that. It drives me mad, as well as my mom. I've already started to revert back to my old ways, which I hoped not to do. But the reality is that I'm feeling pretty crappy 24/7 which sucks so much as I felt so great during the whole summer. I feel anxious, down, sad and nervous. And sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it. Not even House cheered me up, to be honest, I haven't watched a single episode of season 6 yet, because I just can't. I have no idea why, but there are so many things going on atm, that I am not able to focus on things that meant so much to me. I'm still in love with the show and I don't want to miss any ep, but I do. Again, I apologize deeply for leaving so suddenly. When things are more clear, I plan to return and spend more time online again. Because I really miss it and I miss you guys: I miss talking to you, I miss flailing with you and I miss all the craziness. And I never thought I would leave fanpop for such a long time. *hugs all* If there'll be any news soon, I surely will share them with you. Love, Jasmin, known as Cuddles :)
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So love ya and you have all my support and I miss you a lot but I know you need time =/*hugs really tight*
Awww thanks so much.
Miss you, too
So take care &
Good Luck!
:'(
I hope, for all of our sakes, that one day you'll be back.
good luck! and dont worrry. everything will work itself out, im sure. *quadrouple hugs*
Don't let this get you down too much; keep your hopes up and keep trying. It may not seem like it now, but it'll work out in the end - and I say this from experience.
I didn't get the grades to get into my first choice university and I've wanted to go there for such a long time. I didn't want to go anywhere else. I even tried convincing them to let me study there despite my grades because I knew I'd do well there, given the chance. But they still said no.
I got the grades for my second choice, but they cancelled my course and told me only when it was too late. I was planning on dropping out because I didn't want to do the course I was forced to change to.
Then I got news from my doctor that I'm suffering from an illness that could affect me for the rest of my life, which meant I couldn't stay too far from home.
So I applied to my local university. But they told me it was too late as I had applied a day after the deadline for late applicants. But I kept sending emails to various professors explaining my situation, and eventually I got a place at the local university, and now I'm doing a course that's much better than my original course, and although this wasn't how I had planned out my future, I'm glad I'm doing something worthwhile.
I know it's hard, but try to think positive. You'll be doing something you're happy doing whether you'll be in America or not.
I wish you best of luck with everything and take care. ♥
i really wish you didn't have to go... we're all going to miss you here.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your au pair!!
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