On his own again, he tried to get back to the way things were before he met up with Inuyasha and Kagome. But he simply didn’t have the spirit any longer. It was as if he had left his heart behind: he no longer moved with any enthusiasm, and he felt weary all the time. His imminent death seemed to be looming closer than ever, taunting his misery and inviting him into its embrace. He didn’t want to go the easy way and take his own life, but the idea grew more tempting until he longed for a sharp weapon or a cliff. He actually found himself praying for a demon to come and tear him apart, since he already felt torn apart on the inside.
His death was always on his mind, plaguing him, but now solitude also consumed his thoughts. He had never been bothered with traveling alone before; now the misery of his loneliness ate away at him like a ravenous wolf, robbing him of his will to wake up the next day. Nights were the worst. If he slept he only had nightmares waiting for him; if he stayed awake the darkness closed in around him, suffocating in its cold silence. How he had the strength to move he could not tell, but move he did, despite his longing to fall into...
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