An excerpt from 'The Torchwood Archives'
My name is Ianto and I'm sick of tea being seen as the drink for the UK so I start this website. That gets some members- some are genuinley interested but the majority are people who want to throw themselves into something so they can finally be accepted by someone. We can do the flash mob thing - arrange for mass coffee drinkings in Llandaff fields or outside cardiff castle. This gets us a bit of recognition which strengthens everyones beliefs. Then I can start to get a bit hardcore. I'm King Ianto - give me your money and I'll invest it in our group. That strengthens the bond between us. I owe you now and you're more keen to see the group succeed. And, of course, you're less likely to leave. And if you did leave you'd have to live up to the real problems you're suffering from. Stay with me and I give you security and a purpose! We like coffee! We want coffee to be seen as our national drink! It's important.
And from there it's only a small step to 'our problem is the people who make the tea - what are we going to do about them?'
And that's where the problems start.
So who's with me? King Ianto's Coffee Club. Join for everlasting peace and damn fine coffee.
Gwen and Tosh said they'd sign up. Owen called me a nutter. He'll be the first one to go under King Ianto's regime.
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