Here are some hilarious quotes from 'Less Than Perfect' that I have compiled! Mostly Kipp and Lydia related, because I think they are the funniest! Enjoy!
Kipp: Hey Claude, could you not walk so close to me? People might think we're friends.
Claude:[Giggling] Oh no, Kipp, no. Nobody thinks you have friends.
Kipp: Hey, is that Owen with a girl?
Lydia: Oh my God, it is.
[pause]
Lydia: Should we go and help her?
Kipp: Isn't there a single sausage patty that isn't shaped like a heart?
Lydia: I know. Why does the cafeteria have to recognize this particular holiday? It's not like every Fourth of July they blow the food up.
Lydia: Your scent is supposed to linger, not change global weather patterns.
Owen: Now this really steams my broccoli.
Kipp: Luke. Luke warm. Luke a hazard.
Luke: Are you going anywhere with this plays off the name Luke thing?
Kipp: There was a really big finish but I forget it.
Owen: Sorry I'm late I was busy last night. Damn Book Club!
Ramona: You know, I don't get how every week you manage to make a bunch of little-old ladies wanna kill you.
Owen: Well we were supposed to read a book by Stephen Hawking, and I missed the 'haw' part, and read a book by Stephen King. If I hadn't brought in those little hard candies I wouldn't have gotten ought of there alive.
Owen: If you don't focus... baby will never get out of that corner, you know what I'm saying? I think you do.
Kipp: Claude...
Claude: You're welcome, Kipp.
Kipp: I was going to say: could I borrow $10 for lunch?
Claude: All those hurtful things they said, you can't take them personally. Some of them they've used before, like, "You should be ashamed of yourself, young man," which is nearly a rip off of, "You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady!" Which was the theme of Mothers Day 1994.
Kipp: I am not here to be CHALLENGED, I'm just trying to HELP you.
Kipp: Hurry! Quick, quick, quick quick, quick!
Lydia: Oh my God! Are they coming?
Kipp: No, it's just really creepy down here, somebody brought a lunch from home!
Kipp: Sorry to interrupt the Augunklin Round Table, but isn't this the kind of game you play in a Mexican prison?
Owen: No, what you're thinking of is Pentelonian's 'Caliente.' Which is fun but really there are no winners.
Lydia: You'd think she rode into work on a donkey.
Lydia: So, what, are you and your boyfriend doing something sickeningly sweet today?
Claude: Well, we would have, but Charlie had to drive his grandfather's El Camino down to Florida. But, he did send me a dozen beautiful red roses.
Lydia: Yeah, well, I'm sure they came from one of I-95's *finer* rest-stops.
Lydia: No one thinks I'm funny. I think I'm *so* funny.
Claude: So. You and Jeb are like two peas in a pod.
Will: He was not a good hire.
Claude: What? I thought that you liked him.
Will: Not anymore. Did you hear his boat caught on fire?
Claude: Well, that's terrible. I don't know that's necessarily a character flaw.
Will: Everybody knows it's my thing to talk about boat problems.
Claude: Well... hey! Maybe you'll get lucky and your boat will sink.
Will: Oh, Claude. You always know how to cheer me up.
Lydia: Hey, what's wrong with Kipp?
Carl: I was just playing with him and I think I broke him.
Claude Casey: Can I pull of mysterious and perky? Keep in mind, I will be wearing different shoes.
Ramona: [Lydia pushes past Ramona in the lunch hall] Hey, there is a line!
Lydia: And I think you crossed it with that outfit!
Lydia: We need to have a beautiful, intimate, one-of-a-kind first date story that will make other women say, "God, I hate her."
Jeb: You really think you need a story for that?
Lydia: [to Kipp] My hair looks too good for me to be standing here talking to you.
Lydia: Wait, Kipp, what if this really is our last moment alive?
Kipp: Then I should take some stuff off my computer.
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