ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I’m thirty-seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I’m thirty-seven. I’m not old!15
ARTHUR: Well, I can’t just call you ‘Man.’
DENNIS: Well, you could say ‘Dennis.’
ARTHUR: Well, I didn’t know you were called ‘Dennis.’
DENNIS: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the ‘old woman,’ but from the
behind you looked—
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I am king.
DENNIS: Oh king, eh? Very nice. [stops, as do ARTHUR and PATSY] An’ how’d you get that, eh? By exploitin’
the workers, by ’angin’ on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an’ social differences in
our society! If there’s ever going to be any progress—
[Enter WOMAN, scrambling up the slope to the road on her hands and knees.]
WOMAN SERF: Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here— Oh... [to ARTHUR, with respect] How d’you do?
ARTHUR: [To WOMAN] How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
lols i love all the parts...
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[hah]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid knight, you've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[bang]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs!
Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!
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"one day this'll all be your's..."
"what? the curtains?"
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I’m thirty-seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I’m thirty-seven. I’m not old!15
ARTHUR: Well, I can’t just call you ‘Man.’
DENNIS: Well, you could say ‘Dennis.’
ARTHUR: Well, I didn’t know you were called ‘Dennis.’
DENNIS: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the ‘old woman,’ but from the
behind you looked—
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I am king.
DENNIS: Oh king, eh? Very nice. [stops, as do ARTHUR and PATSY] An’ how’d you get that, eh? By exploitin’
the workers, by ’angin’ on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an’ social differences in
our society! If there’s ever going to be any progress—
[Enter WOMAN, scrambling up the slope to the road on her hands and knees.]
WOMAN SERF: Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here— Oh... [to ARTHUR, with respect] How d’you do?
ARTHUR: [To WOMAN] How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
[hah]
[parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
[hah]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid knight, you've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[bang]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs!
Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!
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