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Why Maturity is Integral to Great Sex
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Yes, I'm sure you've heard all the horror stories before about pregnancy, STDs and AIDS, but it's always good to reiterate. This isn't a lecture about the consequences of sex. Hopefully, you know them by now. No, this is an explanation of why maturity is not only important for a healthy sex life, but for a good sex life, too. IMMATURE SEX happens when two people (young or old) who may or may not have been with other partners in the past, decide in an instant to have sex without condoms or other forms of birth control. Generally, since little thought has been put into it, it's over too quickly, he gets embarrassed, and she's unsatisfied. She might even have faked it to make him feel better about his, er, enthusiasm. Guys (tend to) have immature sex in order to get off quickly, with little to no regard of safety or creativity. Girls (tend to) have immature sex to get their boyfriends off their backs, and/or lose their virginity quickly so they won't have to worry about it later. These roles can be reversed (sometimes girls pressure guys for sex), but generally this is the recipe for unsafe, disappointing sex. IMMATURE SEX can not only lead to pregnancy and STDs, but also two dissatisfied people, and can create a huge chasm between those people that wasn't there before. This is truly sad, because sex is supposed to bring two people closer together, not drive them apart. Which makes having good sex all the more important. MATURE SEX occurs when both parties have considered their options. Maybe they've even planned how they want this sexual experience to go. Mature sex partners have thought about why they want to have sex with this person, and how they want to do it. Mature sex partners are aware of the dangers and pleasures of sex, and wish to minimize the former and maximize the latter. Because of this, mature sex involves condoms and/or other birth control methods, and is creative. The brain does not turn off during sex, so the mature sex partner is constantly thinking during the event, finding new and exciting ways to keep their partner content. MATURE SEX is FAR MORE unlikely to result in unwanted pregnancies and STDs. It is also far more likely to impress the people involve, and bring them closer together. Mature people can also talk to each other about what they liked and didn't like about their experience together, which leads to improvements in the future. Are you wondering if you are mature enough to handle sex? No worries! I've compiled a checklist of questions to ask yourself to make sure that you are ready. 1) Are you having sex just for the sake of having sex? 2) Are you having sex because you were pressured into having sex? 3) Does the idea of buying condoms make you uncomfortable? 4) Do you think that you can't get pregnant on your period? 5) Can you talk to your partner-- without laughing-- about sex? This includes what you like about sex, and the things your partner does well, and the things s/he could improve on. 6) Have you thought about ways to make the experience memorable? 7) Have you gotten tested for STDs, or gone to a doctor for a physical lately? 8) Do you want your partner to have just as good an experience as you do, or do you not care? If you answered "Yes" on any of the 1-4 questions, or if you answered "No" on any of the 5-8 questions, then you are not mature enough to have great sex. If you chose "No" on all of 1-4, and if you chose "Yes" on all of 5-8, then congratulations! You're a mature adult who can make his/her own decisions. Hooray! |
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