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Stewie Griffin Quotes [Part 3]
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Stewie: Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers! Stewie (To CPR baby): Well, I can't believe we just did that. Hmm, umm...but you know that stuff about spending the day together tomorrow. Umm...I forgot actually I have a thing. But...uhh you know you have my email address so drop me a line and I'll have yours. And uhh...we'll take it from there. Lois: Chris, we know what you did. Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino? Lois: No. Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself? Peter: Close, but no. Stewie: How is that close? Vanessa: Chris you have to put your parents into a home! Don't you ever want to inherit this f*cking house? Chris: Now Vanessa, don't swear around Pablo. Vanessa: Oh that little sh*t is from Guam or something. He probably only speaks Spanish. Stewie [Pablo]: Hey Nessa, a bullet sounds the same in every language so stuff a sock in it cow! Stewie: If your teachers ask about your bruises, what do you tell them? Chris: I got hit by a baseball. Stewie: What's this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G ... oh, that's better than sex! Stewie: Augh! What the hell do you think you're doing? Brian: I'm cleaning myself. Stewie: You were clean fifteen minutes ago, now you're just on vacation. Chris: I don't want to get rid of my pimple, I like him. He's my friend. His name is Doug. Brian: I just wish I didn't have to look at it. Chris: Well, we have to look at your ANUS all day! Stewie: Thankyou! Stewie: If I choose to make stool in my pants right now, you're the only one here to change me. What do you think of that, hmm? Brian: I'm not going to change you. Stewie: What? Brian: I said, I'm not going to change you. Stewie: You can't be serious. Well, what if I make a fudgie? Well, I just won't. I just won't that's all. I just won't. Blast! I just did. Brian: You want some ice cream? Stewie: No. Brian: You want some McDonalds? Stewie: No. Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes? Stewie: Yeah. Brian: Okay, let's go and take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes. Stewie: For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny! Stewie: What are the stakes of this wager? Brian: Why don't you just shut up for about a week? Stewie: Excellent, and if I win? Brian: I wasn't betting. Why don't you just shut up for about a week? Stewie: You're on. Stewie: That coffee mug that you have on your desk, it says life's a beach? Umm that's dangerously close to the word bitch isn't it? Brian: Uhh, yeah that's the joke. Stewie: Oh, absolutely! And nobody appreciates a joke like Stewie, and you know between you and me I think it's a stitch, but some of the other employees found it offensive. Meg: Can I be in the play, Mom? Stewie: Oh yes, you can be the dumpy teenage girl who cries backstage because no one finds her attractive. Stewie: You look like Snoopy and it makes me smile. Stewie: I've read your article, too, Brian. Seems to me like you should spend less time working for the paper and more time (voice goes extremely high) workin' on that novel you've been workin' on. You (Brian hits Stewie with a book) Stewie (to a mother who was breastfeeding her child, after he swapped places with the kid): You call those cheap implants boobs? Those aren't boobs! They're lies! Stewie (after doing The Robot): I'd like to see the kid from Barney with the hearing aid do that. Stewie: What's that? Oh yes, yes. I love crack. I'm absolutely coo-coo for crack! (Stewie runs out of house naked, after a bath, and rolls in mud.) Stewie: Look Lois! I'm not clean anymore! (Peter, washing his car, sprays Stewie clean with the hose) Peter: There you go. (Stewie looks down at himself in shock.) Stewie: Oh my god. I'm a woman! Stewie: Hello, mother. Lois: Why, hello Stewie! Stewie: Mother, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get. But your life is like a box of active granades! Lois: Aww, you just want your toy back. Stewie: Victory is mine! (Granades explode) AHHHHH, damn you all! Stewie: What do you want? Man in White: I want to get the hell out of here! Stewie: Oh, I'm sorry, We're fresh out of that, but what I can give you is untimely death. Chris: What did you get from your boyfriends? Meg: Oh you know from my boyfriend, Prince William, I got this beautiful watch, and this diamond tiara, and a scepter...(goes crazy and runs away crying) Stewie: She needs to get laid big time. Eliza: Ew, your breath smells like kitty litter. Stewie: I was curious! Lois: Oh my God, my baby's drunk! Peter: No I'm not! Oh, him. Yeah, he's a real lightweight. Stewie: I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Everybody! I'm drunk and I wanna go to bed. Just the women! Stewie (to Death): Email me at lois must die, all one word, at yahoo.com. Stewie: Duck, duck, (slaps Janet on the head) Goose! (Janet cries.) Stewie: Oh come on I barely hit you! See this is why people don't respect the WNBA! |
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