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Stewie Griffin Quotes [Part 5]
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Stewie: Ooh, Lois, someone's wearing their ovaries on the outside. Stewie: Blast you and your estrogenical tyranny! Stewie: That's right Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade. Lois: Here comes the airplane, Stewie. (Stewie swats spoon) Stewie: The pilot of that plpane must have been JFK Jr. (Stewie is dreaming: He's sitting on the porch of a colonial house, in clonial outfi.) Stewie: It's good to have land. Stewie (after imitating Rocky IV): You know, there are three hours until the exam. Brian: Oh crap! And all we’ve done is work out! Brian: Peter, if you just let me talk, I'll explain to you why you shouldn't do this. Peter: Later, later Brian, I gotta do something people will remember me for. Which is why I've invented a new type of flying machine. Stewie: You know, I vaguely recall seeing footage somewhere of something exactly like this, which leads me to believe this probably won't work. Stewie: You know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Jay Leno. Look, the fact is the man is out there every bloody night with fresh material and he's charming. Stewie: It seems with death incapacitated, my matricidal efforts are futile. (Stewie looks around checking to make sure no one is around.) Nick nack paddy whack, give a dog a bone. Stewie: The ruptured capillaries in your nose belie the clarity of your wisdom. Stewie: Machiavelli! You've told me nothing I don’t already know! Ah Sun Zhu's The Art of War. Lois: Stewie, those books aren’t for babies. Here. Watch the Teletubbies. Stewie: How dare you! That book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind. Little Asian Girl: Hey Stewie, do you want to complete our rainbow? Stewie: Dear God, I've been adopted by a Benetton ad. Stewie: I say, am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here. Peter: Hey stinky. Have we got big plans for you. Stewie: Plans? What the devil are you talking about? Stewie (to Chris, who's calling from the jungle): Do the women there have exposed clitoratae? Louis: Aww, look! Stewie drew a picture for his mommy! Clevland: Show us the picture. Stewie: No, no, no nothing to see here. (Lois shows the picture.) Man 1: Oh, it's a time machine! Stewie: No, it's a...blast what do kids draw these days? Uh... Man 2: Why, of course it is! Here's where the flux capacitor goes. Man 3: Yeah, I can't wait to build one of these myself! Stewie: Why you toddering, fen-sucked dewberry! I'm going to go find something to strike you with! Excuse me. Lois: Stewie, say hi to our new neighbor, Officer Swanson. Stewie: You will bow to me! Stewie: Ohhh! She has the voice of an angel... not to mention a balcony you could do Shakespeare from! Stewie: Hey Brian, Marion just called you an alcoholic. Brian: Oh yeah, well she just called you a homo! Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes. Lois: Peter, three wishes. Oh this is so exciting. Meg: I want a new hat. Chris: I want a new hat. Stewie: I want them to have new hats! Stewie (trying to act nice): Brian... knock knock! Brian: This is stupid. Stewie: Come on... knock knock! Brian: Okay, who's there? Stewie: It's Stewie and he's always going to be there for you! Stewie: Uh, there's a half-dead-fat-man eating a dead-fat-man... am I the only one who realized? Oh, okay... (Lois picks Stewie up and puts him in the baby carrier she's wearing) Stewie: Put me down, you lazy skank! Stewie: Hey Bria...what? Brian: I didn't say anything. Stewie: Oh...I...I thought you...you interrupted...me. Don't interrupt me! Stewie: Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right. Stewie (making fun of the contents of a candy jar at his grandparents' house): Oh, oh...look at this...a spare key for a Volkswagen Scirocco...they don't even make those any more! They don't even make that car anymore!! Whose keys are these? Stewie (Inside Peter's Body in rocketship): Hey, you know what today is? A bad day to be a sperm! Stewie: Oh! Oh! This story is so good, it must be fattening! Stewie: No, no, no! I don't think so. It's not that I have ideological differences, I'm just not a hat person. Stewie: Victory is mine! Stewie: Ahh..did I remember to turn the stove off?...Yes. Lois: I know you don’t like broccoli Stewie, but you'll thank me when you grow up big and strong like your father. Stewie: A compelling argument. You've swayed me, woman. Mmmm. That is good. Oh I feel stronger already. Mmmm it's good tasting and good for you. Stewie: Go on, hot wire it! Brian: Hot wire? I don't even pump my own gas. (Stewie has shrunk himself and inserted himself into Peter's body to kill sperm. He doesn't want a little brother until he meets his match--his sperm brother who looks and acts like him.) Stewie: You hate Lois? I hate Lois too! What, what else do you hate? Sperm Bro: People who send pictures of their families as Christmas Cards! Stewie: People who use the word "guesstimate." Sperm Bro: Guys who wear sandals with socks! Stewie & Sperm Bro in unison: JASON PATRICK! (flap hands effiminently, jump up and down and say "EWWWW!" together). Quagmire: Hey there spud in the mud. Stewie: Oh god do you bathe in Aqua Velva? Brian: Umm...where are the toilets? New Yorker Editor: Oh, no one at The New Yorker has an anus. Gary Coleman as Stewie: Whatcha talkin' 'bout vile woman?! Stewie: Die, Lois! Stewie: You know Brian, just because you can't feel your teeth doesn't mean the girl can't feel your insults. |
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I LOVE THAT QUOTE
the road to rhode island episode was on the other day and he said that and I couldn't stop laughing!
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