The Catherine Tate Show

Excerpt:
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;     
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;     
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;     
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.     

I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,     
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;     
And in some perfumes is there more delight