This goes out to all my fellow Narniacs who booed (or at least grimaced) at the infamous Suspian Kiss of Doom in the movie. And Dr. Elwin Ransom wrote this on NarniaWeb, so don't thank me (or hate me, depending on who you are) for the brilliance and dead accuracy of this parody. IT'S NOT ME.
In case you haven't figured it out by now, this is sung to the tune of "The Call". Enjoy, rate and comment, duckies!
The Wail
It started out as a feeling
And then our annoyance grew and grew —
As Susan and Caspian locked their lips
We knew the rumor was sadly true.
And then our screams grew louder and louder,
'Til they were a banshee cry:
Don’t let it back
In the sequel!
Because it's not canonical!
Just because the plot is changing,
Doesn't mean there won’t be a
Collective fan roar.
Now we can do what
We should have done last time:
Go online and start up a war!
They wanted their stars to keep rising
But gave us a fright!
We’ll look back
When it’s over;
We’ll need to ask them: WHY?!
Now we hope they won’t keep sinning
We were just reeling, and now we suspect
That because they don’t care much about the books
It seems they think we will simply forget.
Don’t let our enemies grow stronger and stronger
'Til we hear the fangirls’ cries:
“Bring it back
In the sequel,
For a love triangle!”
NO — keep it out
Of the sequel!
Because it’s not canonical!!
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
*sobs openly for joy*
when i first saw the kiss i was like "ew gross"
then...i evolved into a fangirl and fell for skandar keynes and thought the movies were awesome.
now i have realized the stupidity of the kiss and the movies. i am terribly addicted to the books now and i really hate the movies.
thank you dear heart! i love you! you have saved me!
SING ALONG!
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