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For fans of the Twilight Saga books and movies: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
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Invite friend
Edwards point of veiw when he left Bella. (DISCLAIMER I do not own these quotes)
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"Bella, we're leaving." I sighed. I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t feel anything but the terrifying numbness of the ice that was myself. I was cold, and unfeeling... I repeated to myself. I looked at her. So pure; innocent. I couldn’t do this, I realized. Yes I could. She inhaled slowly, looking down still. "Why now? Another year---" "Bella it's time. How much longer could we stay in forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he is claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." I thought about the matter - all that I would take away from her - all that I had taken. I looked at her coldly She stuttered and looked up horrified. "When you say we-" I mean you and me forever. "I mean my family and myself." each word separated and I felt sick to the core realizing the distinguishment of the separation. "Okay... I'll come with you." she said, knowing her attempt was of no use. this made me feel worse. Her brown eyes taunted me; looked at me with a sore and attentive feel of loss. They were empty and heartbroken. After thoughtless attempts of trying to get her to let go --- the pain incomprehensible, and so slow that if I thought there was anything that could kill me, it would be this. I could see it in her eyes. the helpless determination to get me to stay made me want to cry. I wish I could. "Bella, I don’t want you to come with me." My voice showed no hesitation, but when I thought it it as tight and scared. I'm scared. I want to take it back, but I know it's wrong to. I saw it then: I saw her completely shatter---shatter into tiny pieces, though I felt more then shattered. It wasn’t true. "You... don’t... want me?" I wanted to ask her what kind off idiotic question that was, that of course I did. But in a small voice, I extinguished the loneliness building in my thoughts, "No" I couldn't breath... pain... nothing... I thought that I wouldn’t be able to feel... but I felt... I felt. "Well... that... changes things..." NO! I love you Bella! I always have!!! I need you! But my voice wouldn’t comprehend the choice of verbal function that I let through my mouth. "Of course I'll always love you..." that should have been it! I will always love her! "in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change." I don't need a change! I should have been more careful, but that is how I learn! "Because I am tired of pretending to be something I am not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back, for I could not lose her in the eyes. I was positive, now that I was going to hell... I couldn’t see the pure desperation, that would make me pour my heart out... I couldn’t. "I've let this go on for much too long," NO! STOP TALKING PLEASE! I begged myself. "and I am sorry for that." "Don't." She begged, whispering, "Don't do this." I was paralyzed, but something consumed me, that I had to turn to her... no matter how it hurt... I wanted to keep the happy Bella as a picture for my memory... not this... but I needed to see her... "Your not good for me, Bella." What? Of course she was! She was the best thing that ever happened to me! I LOVE her! it was me who was not good for her!!! "If that’s... what you want." NO! I nodded. It was like I was being physically, and verbally taken over. I was somebody... somebody whom was not me... I needed to tell her... but there were no lips that I controlled... nothing I could do. "Just... I would like to ask one favor though..." I couldn’t believe that I had the nerve to ask of her, of ANYTHING... "Anything," she whispered... "Don’t do anything reckless or stupid..." I inhaled deeply, finding my shrivled lungs, "Do you understand what I am saying? I am thinking Charlie of course --- He needs you. Take care of yourself - for him" FOR ME!!! Please, lord, please, don’t make me do this! "I will." she promised, but I need her, she needs me! I knew it! We couldn’t be apart! Like... like Romeo and Juliet... Catherine and Heathcliff, Ophelia and Hamlet... those stupid plays! there would be nothing! Nothing That could tear us apart! Right??? Then the perfect, and horrid goodbye popped in my mind. I needed to find the will to say, "Then I will promise you something in return; this is the last time you will ever see me." I needed to say that. Why can't I say it!? When i was alone again, I looked up at the sky, and screamed "WHY!!!" I didn’t want this! I didn’t want to be alive! I wish that you could take me back! I was a mistake, a spawn of the devil, that was indestructible. I felt like there was a hole in my chest that shrilled up my lungs, making me incapable of inhaling I heard my phone ring, but I didn’t know what to do with it. I eventually threw it into the river near me. I looked down, and ran to my car. When I got there, I put on my CD Alice made me. All Beethoven music. The first song was strictly piano. It was Moonlight Sonata. Then Für Elise, then the seventh symphony, and more. I heard in my head many voices Jasper Bro, you shouldn’t leave her, because of me. If it makes it better, then I will go away, until i learn to control... she needs you, Man. Alice She was my only friend Edward... At least let me say goodbye? I miss her already... please, Edward. Carlisle Come back, when you feel you can. You know where to find me. Esme Please, Edward... Bella was what made you happy... you need her and it's just the same for her. Emmett Dude, I think, that if she made you chill like you were, then go for her, man, she was your best choice, put out the fact that she nearly got her self killed... and probably will again... I tuned the voices out, and dug out a trench. I fell in, and pulled a dirt, and mud blanket over my head, thinking if I just lay here, maybe I will die. "Perché, Dio? Perché hai fatto questo per me!? Perché hai fatto di me crudele dire quelle parole?" I ranted in Italian. I ranted on and on in Portuguese, French, German, Spanish, Russian, Greek, and more. I realized, a few hours later, maybe, I had no general source of time, my attempt was a failure, and so I pulled out. I went under a tree, covered in mud, and rain, and wiped my face off. Though it wasn’t raining under the tree moisture broke free from my tear duct I felt it with my fingertip, more cold than usual - I was actually crying.
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you are an amazing writer
truly amazing i loved it
Will there be another one?
please keep writing.
Okay, let's talk." she said. Her fearful tone would have made me nauseated if possible. "Bella, we're leaving." I sighed. I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t feel anything but terrifying numbness of the ice that was me. I was cold, and unfeeling... I repeated to myself. I looked at her innocence. I couldn’t do this. I realized. Yes I could. She inhaled slowly "Why now? Another year--" "Bella it's time. How much longer could we stay in forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he is claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." I thought about the matter - all that I would take away from her - all that I had taken. I looked at her coldly "When you say we-" I mean you and me forever. I thought to myself. "I mean my family and myself." each word separated and I felt sick to the core realizing the distinguishment of the separation. "Okay... I'll come with you." she said, knowing her attempt was of no use. this made me feel worse.
After thoughtless attempts of trying to get her to let go - the pain incomprehensible, and so slow that if I thought there was anything that could kill me, it would be this. I could see it in her eyes. the helpless determination to get me to stay made me want to cry. I wish I could. "Bella, I don’t want you to come with me." I saw it then i saw her completely shatter, into tiny pieces, though i felt more then shattered. It wasn’t true. "You... don’t... want me?" i wanted to ask her what kind off idiotic question that was, that of course i did, but i said in a small voice "No" I couldn't breath... pain... nothing... I thought that I wouldn’t be able to feel... but I felt... I felt. "Well... that... changes things..." NO! I Love you Bella! I always have!!! I need you! But my voice wouldn’t comprehend the choice of verbal function that I let through my mouth. "of course I'll always love you..." that should have been It! I will always love her! "in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change." I don't need a change! I should have been more careful, but that is how I learn! "Because I am TIRED of pretending to be something i am not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back, for I could not lose her in the eyes. I was positive, now that I was going to hell... I couldn’t see the pure desperation, that would make me pour my heart out... I couldn’t. "I've let this go on for much too long," NO! STOP TALKING PLEASE! I begged myself. "and I am sorry for that." "Don't." She begged, whispering, "Don't do this." I was paralyzed, but something consumed me, that i had to turn to her... no matter how it hurt... I wanted to keep the happy Bella as a picture for my memory... not this... but i needed to see her... "Your not good for me, Bella." What? Of course she was! She was the best thing that ever happened to me! I LOVE her! it was ME who was not good for HER!!! "If that’s... what you want." NO! I nodded. it was like i was being physically, and verbally taken over no body whom was not me... I needed to tell her... but there were no lips that I controlled... nothing I could do. "Just... I would like to ask one favor though..." I couldn’t believe that I had the NERVE to ask of her, ANYTHING... "anything." she whispered... "Don’t do anything reckless or stupid..." I inhaled deeply, finding my lost lungs, "Do you understand what I am saying? I am thinking Charlie of course - He needs you. Take care of yourself - for him" FOR ME!!! Please, lord, please, don’t make me do this! "I will." she promised, but I need her, she needs me! I knew it! We couldn’t be apart! Like... like Romeo and Juliet... that stupid play! there would be nothing! NOTHING that could tear us apart! Right???
When i was alone again, I looked up at the sky, and screamed "WHY!!!" I didn’t want this! I didn’t want to be alive! I wish that you could take me back! i was a mistake, a spawn of the devil, that was indestructible. I felt like there was a hole in my chest that shrilled up my lungs, making me incapable of inhaling I heard my phone ring, but I didn’t know what to do with it. I eventually threw it into the river near me. I looked down, and ran to my car.
when I got there, i put on my CD. The first song was IN THE END, next NO AIR, next BLEED IT OUT, next BLEEDING LOVE, next BETTER IN TIME next THINK OF ME... I decided that devoting my numbness to music wasn’t a good idea. I took it, with listless, unheard fingers, and crumbled the cd. Even though it was a more recent CD and I was trying to fit in... there was no point in it regardless, now. I heard in my head many voices
[Jasper] Bro, you shouldn’t leave her, because of me. If it makes it better, then I will go away, until i learn to control... she needs you, Man.
[Alice] she was my only friend Edward... At least let me say goodbye? I miss her already.
[Carlisle] Come back, when you feel you can. You know where to find me.
[Esme] Please, Edward... Bella was what made you happy... you need her... she needs YOU
[Emmett] Dude, I think, that if she made you chill like you were, then go for her, man, she was your best choice, put out the fact that she nearly got her self killed... and probably will again...
I tuned the voices out, and dug out a trench. I fell in, and pulled a dirt, and mud blanket over my head, thinking if I just lay here, maybe I will die. I realized, a few hours later, maybe, I had no general source of time, my attempt was a failure, and so I pulled out. I went under a tree, covered in mud, and rain, and wiped my face off. Though it wasn’t raining under the tree moisture broke free from my tear duct I felt it with my fingertip, more cold than usual - I was actually crying.
its was amazing and I almost cried
Awesome by the way!!!
love you edward....x
it was soo heartbreaking ...so AWESOMELY GOOD!!
next time; use paragraphs,its hard to keep track at times and try to keep edwards sophisticated tone a bit more and the fact that he can cry ...??
otherwise i thought it was GREAT - can't wait for you next entry, keep me posted :D xxx natalie
Will there be another one?
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