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For fans of the Twilight Saga books and movies: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.
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(team edward, but) how to annoy edward cullen LMAO
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ways to annoy Edward Cullen.
I am not liable to any deaths fault of your aggravating him, and him killing you. I also am not liable for anyone being bitten, and the suffering that comes along with the transformation. Please consult your doctor for the post-death situation that may come after agonizing Edward with any poor treatment (LMAO OF COURSE THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT!). I am also not responsible for any loss of head, limbs, or other damaged or dead body parts. 100 ways to annoy Edward Cullen 1. Buy him a team Jacob shirt 2. Buy him a real wolf as a pet, named after Jacob 3. Tell Rosalie that Edward said there was no one uglier than her, and Bella was far prettier 4. Laugh at Rosalie, when Edward fights back, and say JK 5. Tell him you see the future, and you see Jacob imprinting on Bella, and his daughter 6. Tell everyone that Edward is really Robert Pattinson, and he should go to jail for posing 7. Tell him you can read Bella’s mind, and she is cheating on you for Mike Newton 8. Tell him that James is his long lost cousin 9. Then put your hands over your mouth and gasp and say “OH MY EDWARD! You killed your cousin!” 10. Ask him to reminisce about that little “scene” in Breaking Dawn… you know where he almost kills her? 11. Follow him around picturing Bella right after he left 12.. When he turns around agonized, grin and reminisce her fear in her bedroom of Laurent, and when she was in the meadow, alone, risking her life, for a little memory of you the one who was dumb enough to leave her in the first place 13. When he tells you to stop, yell “BEG!” then think about when she jumps off of the cliff 14. When he does beg, sigh and say “Is that all you got?” 15. Look bored and say “I want you to cry” and when he says he can’t say “I guess that’s okay. I was bored anyway, don’t think you are off the hook though!” 16. When Bella is sick in New Moon, tell Charlie Bella is pregnant, with Edward, because he didn’t really leave, she just needed the excuse for the hormones, and that she couldn’t get on the plane because it wasn’t safe, then give him Edwards new cell phone number 17. Watch, as Edward briefly comes back to explain to Charlie, and laugh when Charlie says she is pregnant, and he asks with who, and is mortified when Charlie says him, 18. Offer him garlic bread 19. When he says he shouldn’t say “Is it because you are a vampire?” 20. When he says no, say “LIAR!!! You are too!” then ask if he has ever participated in an exorcism 21. Ask him if he has ever withdrawn from a blood bank, then say, “You know, like the one at your house?” 22. Ask if he ate your pet dog, because it was named Jacob, and you cant find it 23. Ask if he secretly loves Jacob, and in the “love, love” way 24. When he says no say, “Oh come awn!” 25. When he finally admits it, say, I was just kidding 26. Ask Jasper how to kill a human, and hand him a dummy similar to Bella, when Bella for some reason wasn’t there or was in the bathroom, say “OME, OME!!! Look Jasper is killing Bella!!” to Edward, as Jasper demolishes the dummy with ease, then when he leaves, laugh in Bella’s face and say, “Guess what? It is all my fault!” 27. Kill Bella, before Edward had a chance to meet her, and then make it so your thoughts are clouded, and then cut yourself in multiple places, pouring several bottles of perfume into your cuts. Wait for them to seal, not eating anything so that the scent stays perfume-like and then get close to Edward, and be Bella. Go to the baseball game he had intended to invite Bella to, and then when James comes, laugh when he says “You brought a snack,” and hold out your candy bar, and say “Yup, and you cant have any!” Then when he tries to kill you, wait impatiently, every five seconds calling, “Oh where, oh where could my little vampire be?” and when he apologizes for getting you in so much danger, say “You, should be, and you aren’t forgiven! I hope you don’t do this to your next little human lover!” 28. Ask him what shade of M.A.C. makeup he would wear, because there lightest porcelain would show up orange 29. When he laughs, say “OME! You should totally sign up for world records in paleness” 30. Then read out your own book of qualifications “Average… no… Hot… no… Strong… no-” “I’m not strong?” “I’m sorry, have you ever even looked at your brothers?” 31. Tell him you are thirsty - “Do you have any spare bottles of Bella’s blood?” 32. Ask him if he L-O-V-E-S true blood and think the male lead is H-O-T 33. Ask him if he is a wolf 34. Ask him if he could tell you a little more about his brother Dracula 35. Ask him if he was constipated or ill in the beginning of twilight (biology scene) 36. Ask him if he was the one who changed Alice 37. Tell Alice (regardless of the truth) that he was 38. When the wolves are in a physical fight, leave Bella, half demolished, on Jakes side of the boundary line, and then point, and scream “OME LOOK!” and when he goes to save her, whistle to Jake to look, and laugh as Edward gets murdered 39. Say “WHOLY EDWARD!!! Eminem didn’t kill Dr. Dre! He did! It’s in HIS basement! 40. Ask Mike if he is gay, and when he admits it, make him make out with Edward 41. Put a bottle of Holy Water, strand of garlic, ash wood, steak, and a cross on Bella’s bed side. 42. When she wakes up, take the things away, and show Edward, and laugh and say “She told me to say that this is what she thinks of you.” and hand him the vampire disintegrating items, and a picture of sun. 43. Picture Bella dead, and in Edwards arms following him around 44, yell in public “OME, OME! You are that dude from TWILIGHT! You are also in Harry Potter, and other crap on Youtube too!” 45. Claim that he killed the neighborhood wolf, and have a petition signed by the town, asking him to evacuate. |
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that was stupid...
i would like to beat jacob wihtin an inch of his life.
thank you!=]
Rosalie;blond jokes, and bella is better than her
Jasper;feel a bunch of emotions so he feels it to, just to piss him off
Alice; midget.(me srry alice!)
and more
jacob; she LOVES the leech (Srry on that one to!)
You should Post this on Facebook. You'll get lots of rating I rated 5 stars. Good job
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