usher help!!! what did you do!!

my boyfriend died.. and he was a really strong man in the community.. he was supposed to be my husband. and so many people in our community here in toronto remember me from him.. and they didn't tell me about his death.. and they burnt him to ashes with out my permission.. now i've been watching video's trying to make sense out of whatever life i have let.. and i ran into your let it burn video.. and it looked like it was for me... saying i should burn with him... seeing it was a light skinned girl like myself so close to the fire... your sending me such sickening messages... anyway you could make it better? from sandi