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Broken

MISSLOVATOSTAR1 posted on Oct 12, 2009 at 01:03AM
Broken


Chapter one dark shadows casting

Jades Pov

As dark shadows cover the whole ground I stare up at sky thinking " When well the dark Master come . Will King Steeltones army be ready . Will we have part of our kingdom back " .

I was thinking so much I didn't see my cat , Jane . She looked at me with her clear blue eyes as if she was saying " What are you thinking about Jade ?" , Jane asked .

" The dark master .", I whispered .

" He hasn't come yet , the army still a waits for a battel .", Jane said .

" I know , it's just I've already lost one brother . I don't wanna lose Steven .", I said .

" He'll be fine . You have nothing to worry .", Jane said who jumped off the chair , and ran away .

If only I could say the same , but indee I can't , for I know it is a lie . My first brother , Jake was killed the Dark Master himself which left my mother , sister , and I in tears .

We are now mades working for King Steeltone , even though he treats us with kindness .

I just hope , just like this dark shadow casting above this war will cast away .

end of Jades Pov

end of chapter one comment , rate , tell me wat u think .
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hmmm
18wanda said:
Really short. Needs more detail, and thought, and musical flow of passages, but I am such a harsh critic...
posted 2 months ago.
 
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smile
emmett said:
chapter one is too short. But i love the idea of the story line kinda thing. Yeah i agree pretty much with 18wanda . needs more detail. But really great start!!
posted 2 months ago.
 
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blush
Yea , I've gota agree it is pretty short , but chapter two will be long , i hope , but thnx for the comments .
posted 2 months ago.
 
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