
i've felt like i was living in a Reptile Room
my only hope was wishing on stars that shone through the Wide Window
i toil in the Miserable Mill
while you're off studying at the not-so-Austere Academy
i'm stuck here riding this endless Ersatz Elevator
counting the minutes until i can finally leave this Vile Village
you've come out on top yet again meanwhile i'm stuck in this Hostile Hospital
fancying a trip to the Carnivorous Carnival
but instead i am forced to climb up this Slippery Slope of a relationship
somehow i always seem to manage to slide all the way down into the Grim Grotto
hoping each time that this will be my Penultimate Peril with you
so i can finally reach THE END of this relationship

My life had a BAD BEGINNING,
Ever since, a snake killed my Father in the REPTILE ROOM.
I was so miserble I tried to kill myself by jumping out of THE WIDE WINDOW.
But my Mother stopped me, and we went to live in a MISERBLE MILL.
I hated it so much I was sent to the Austere Academy.
One day, my sister died, falling down the ERATZ ELAVATOR.
So we went to live in THE VILE VILLIAGE, trying to escape from the place of woe.
Soon my Mother got sick and had to be rushed to the HOSTILE HOSPITAL.
Me and my brother were so miserble we went to stay at the CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL.
But my brother fell off the SLIPPERY SLOPE and died.
I had lost all my family so I tried to drown myself in THE GRIM GROTTO.
But suddenly, when all seemed lost I found The PENULTIMATE PERIL which could raise the dead.
So that was THE END to all my troubles.
Ever since, a snake killed my Father in the REPTILE ROOM.
I was so miserble I tried to kill myself by jumping out of THE WIDE WINDOW.
But my Mother stopped me, and we went to live in a MISERBLE MILL.
I hated it so much I was sent to the Austere Academy.
One day, my sister died, falling down the ERATZ ELAVATOR.
So we went to live in THE VILE VILLIAGE, trying to escape from the place of woe.
Soon my Mother got sick and had to be rushed to the HOSTILE HOSPITAL.
Me and my brother were so miserble we went to stay at the CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL.
But my brother fell off the SLIPPERY SLOPE and died.
I had lost all my family so I tried to drown myself in THE GRIM GROTTO.
But suddenly, when all seemed lost I found The PENULTIMATE PERIL which could raise the dead.
So that was THE END to all my troubles.