It was cute when other people think of me as a little monster, ballerina, or pixie but when the term is used to insult me…. that’s another story.
Then it clicked. I think the problem was me but used in her terms. I am the enemy. I am his wife. Remembering what she said just a few minutes ago it clicked why she always wanted to see him, why she always called him, why he told her about the party over me, he didn’t do it intentionally but it happened. “I know Jasper is your husband but he is my friend. I love him too.” That one mistake in the conversation and it clicked. She LOVED him. In a way he might have not caught on to. You never in all your life want to see a vampire fight. Especially not this one. Everything happened so quickly my lip curled over my teeth and a hiss escaped my throat and I crouched and before she had time to react I jumped on her and started punching ,kicking , screaming ,and trying to rip her limb from limb. I never reacted to anything so violently before. This was the first and I hope only time it happened. When Peter and Jasper heard me hissing and screaming at her they came running it took Jasper longer than I expected to get me off her. I wasn’t sure if Jasper was using his power or not, but if he was trying to calm me down it wasn’t working. I used my power for a horrible reason. I used it so I could get around Jasper so I could get to Charlotte. When Jasper decided on how to hold me down I ducked his grasp by a mere second. The example he gave Bella on why not to worry about me got used against him. I ducked his grasp and ran across the lot where Peter was holding back Charlotte who was cursing as loud as she could. I jumped over Peter behind Charlotte and jumped on her back. I bit her right in the neck. Then I bit her again and again and again. It was the most exhilarating thing I have ever experienced. I continued to bite her until Jasper got a hold of me again and this time he screamed to Peter “Forget Charlotte for now! Alice is the one trying to kill her! Help me hold her! Peter Now! Charlotte will be fine! Look what happened to me! I got bitten thousands of times I’m fine now HELP ME!!!” “Why don’t you use your gift to calm her down?? DID YOU EVEN TRY THAT?” “Peter, that was the first thing I TRIED!! It didn’t work! I don’t know why but it didn’t work! The only way to stop her now is to hold her down somehow!” I didn’t like the fact that I was the problem but I was. I knew what was happening in my mind I was hurting the chances of them going to our home and being a witness for Renesmee but my instincts didn’t care. All they thought of was Charlotte and Jasper hand in hand toward me. Jasper telling me “I don’t love you anymore. I love Charlotte now. Goodbye Alice.” That is what drove me over the edge. The very back of my head was screaming “ He would never do that! You know he wouldn’t do that! You stop that right now!” But, I didn’t listen to the back of my head. Jasper had his hands on my shoulder trying to pull me off Charlotte and I turned my head for a fraction of a second and bit him. Right there on his hand. I will kill myself later because of that. He started yelling “Damn! Peter she bit me! Watch it! She is snapping at us Peter. It will take an army to get my little monster off Charlotte! Damn it! My hand feels like it is burning!” “You want me to hold her down when she is biting my Charlotte!? If it burns you then I can’t imagine what it feels like to Charlotte! Jasper do something!” I started actually making words and sentences out of my screams. “Charlotte you will pay for this! “You ever even talk to Jasper again I will snap your neck and burn you myself!! I will dance around the fire and then Ill break your neck you little no good for nothing….” “Alice. Alice you need to focus Alice. Alice this isn’t you.” “THAT LITTLE WITCH WANTS TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME!!! SHE IS TRYING TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME!!! I WANT TO KILL HER!! LET ME KILL HER!!!! “Alice, Stop please for me?” “Jasper, what the hell do you think your doing??!!! You want to talk to her like she is acting normal? What the hell goes on at your house?? Does she try to kill everyone all the time??!! Jasper, I need to help Charlotte!” “Just wait Peter. Her visions are working against us. She can’t see much when she is like this. She is vulnerable. She is not fighting us off as much as you think she is. Just wait.” “WAIT FOR WHAT?? FOR HER TO BURN CHARLOTTE???” “Alice this isn’t you. Stop this please. I swear to you Alice I’m not going anywhere. If Charlotte begged me on all fours to go anywhere with her I will say no. Please Alice, Please, Stop this. For me? Please.” I started Crying tearless sobs. “I know what she wants! She wants YOU! I won’t let her take you!!” “Alice, I’m not going anywhere. Alice stop this. I know you tried to be friends with Charlotte but she pushed you I know that, I may not be a mind reader but I felt her emotions do that. All those visits when she came I felt what she wanted. I knew she loved me that way not as a friend but more than that. I don’t love her. I only have eyes for you. Now Alice please stop trying to kill Peter&Charlotte. I don’t want you to hurt Peter even though you did have a reason to kill Charlotte I don’t want you to hurt her either.” I kept crying even though there were no tears. I ended up falling off Charlotte’s back and curling up in a ball on the ground. Once I fell off Charlotte’s back she fell to the ground too….screaming in pain. Apparently I also bit off a piece of her neck and shoulder. Even though I knew better than that I thought she deserved it. I hope Carlisle or anyone else doesn’t find out about this. So I lay there still, with my tearless sobs. I was trying to stop but I think I got hysterical.
Jasper picked me up in his arms and said “I never gave a thought about leaving my graceful, smart, beautiful little monster. Do you remember what I said about a chain leash? I might have to get one for you.” I was still crying tearless sobs but I started laughing. I knew I was the dumbest person for fighting like that but if she ever sees him again or even talks to him for that matter I might just have to break her neck and burn the pieces. I was still crying in his arms but I told him “I might break through it too.” “Seeing what you did to Charlotte I wouldn’t doubt that you could break the Statue of Liberty with one touch of your pinky finger.” I hid my face in his chest. I couldn’t bare to walk or to look at Peter or Charlotte although I do want to look at Charlotte to see what I did to the witch. “Alice, you’re getting mad again. Do I have to chain you up or can you behave long enough for me to apologize to Peter?” I was still sobbing but getting a little control of myself. “I can behave. Tell him I’m so sorry. I know this is stupid but can you ask him to still be a witness for Renesmee? Tell him I won’t be there. So he can bring Charlotte. “That’s not stupid at all. I will also mention to them about him not telling the others where they met us or what happened here tonight. I’ll even warn them not to think about what happened or where they were. We don’t want Edward to hear that and they start following us.”
“I can control myself for a little bit Jasper but keep me 2 feet away from that little…..” “Alice? Do I need to chain you up? I’m sure I can find something strong enough to hold you.” Even though I had my face in his chest I’m sure he had my favorite grin on his face. I closed my eyes and waited for him to finish apologizing to Peter and the witch. But if she ever talks to him, sees him, or touches him, she is DEAD. Awhile later I heard Peter carry the witch away from us and Jasper slowly turn and started walking to the nearest bench. I’m guessing they finished what needed to be finished. “Well Alice, Peter will witness for Renesmee after all. He is mad at Charlotte for what happened tonight, not you so there is no need to worry about that.” My face was still hiding in his chest. He made it to the bench and he sat down and didn’t put me down and I was happy for that. But what he said made it feel like a pressure was added to my already 100 pounds on my shoulders. Because of what I did, did I ruin Peter’s relationship with the witch? I didn’t mean to break anyone up. I just wanted to fight for my relationship, my life, my love. I didn’t want to break them up in the process.
He took my silence as a chance to keep talking. “Charlotte is in trouble with Peter. He doesn’t want to talk to her about it yet. He thinks she isn’t strong enough for that yet when actually she is pretending to be hurt worse than she really is. After you bit me it was burning but it stopped after a while. Now I understand because you ripped a piece of her neck and shoulder off that it would make her in pain worse but she keeps saying she feels like she is burning. That shouldn’t be happening. So I assumed she is faking and I told Peter to put her down for a moment and told him she was faking and now she is in more trouble. Even though you were in my arms you were doing what you have been doing since we left home, ignoring what comes out my mouth and focus on the negative things that happened.”
He understands me better than I thought. Wait. If he knows that I don’t listen to him most of the time since we left home does he think I’m not listening now? Does he think he is talking to no one? Just mumbling to himself? “Alice, I know we don’t sleep but if we could I would say you’re sleeping right now.” I tried to choke it back but it escaped and I started laughing. He always knows how to get me smiling and laughing. I wonder what is happening at home. Well, Tanya’s family is there. Carlisle finally found Alistair. Bella is doing an excellent job at showing off Renesmee. I thought for the first time in a really long time I drifted off to sleep. Impossible but the fact that I started imagining all of us home smiling laughing having a good time. It seemed so real. I thought it was real but I tried to hold Renesmee in my dream and it disappeared. The wind started blowing harder in my face. I looked up from Jasper’s chest and saw he was running. Running to where though? Europe? Why there? I’ll ask him later. I want to watch what is going on at home. By the way things are going I might see them live another day. Another week. Maybe another Century. I don’t care as long as my family is happy and they’re not worrying about anything besides when we’re going to play another game of BaseBall.