Some of the best and most funny quotes from our favorite Good Guy on Lost.



Ben Linus:This gentlemen and I are taking a boat. Does anyone else have a problem with that?

Ben Linus: [to the Smoke Monster] I'll be outside.

Ben Linus: How many times do I have to tell you, John? I always have a plan.

Locke: You just killed everybody on that boat.
Ben: So?

Locke: Was he talking about what I think he was talking about?
Ben: If you mean time-travelling bunnies, then yes.

Alex: You put my boyfriend in a cage and then you locked him in a room and tried to brainwash him!
Ben: I didn't want him to get you pregnant. I suppose I may have overreacted...

Karl: Keep your mouth shut, Mr. Linus.
Ben: Karl. Now if you're gonna sleep with my daughter, I insist you call me Ben.

Ben: I know it's not pleasant but, let's face it, you really don't stand a chance now...
Sawyer: Chance of what?
Ben: James. Look at yourself. Yes, on this island you're brave, daring, handsome, you're someone... but if you left with them, back in the real-world, a low-life scam artist like you could never compete with a first class surgeon. I think Kate was really upset when you made your choice to come with us. Thank God she has Jack there to comfort...
[Sawyer attacks Ben]

Ben: John, listen. I have information that you need. I have answers.
Locke: What is the monster?
Ben: What?
Locke: The black smoke, the monster. What is it?
Ben: I don't know.
Locke: Goodbye, Benjamin.

Locke: I'm sorry those things happened to you, Ben.
Ben: Those things had to happen to me. That was my destiny. But you'll understand soon enough that there are consequences to being chosen. Because destiny, John... is a fickle bitch.

Locke: What?
Ben: He actually thinks staying was his idea. Not bad, John. Not bad at all.
Locke: I'm not you.
Ben: You're certainly not.

Locke: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Ben: I'm a Pisces, John.

Locke: Where did you get electricity?
Ben: We have two giant hamsters running in a massive wheel in our secret underground lair.
Locke: That's funny.

Henry Gale (Ben): I guess this is my reward for good behavior, huh? I finally got some points for drawing Ana-Lucia that map.
Locke: What?
Jack: Did you...
Locke: No.
Henry Gale: Wow, you guys have some real trust issues, don't you? Guess it makes sense she didn't tell you. I mean, with the two of you fighting all the time. Of course, if I was one of them - these people that you seem to think are your enemies - what would I do? Well, there'd be no balloon, so I'd draw a map to a real secluded place like a cave or some underbrush - good place for a trap - an ambush. And when your friends got there a bunch of my people would be waiting for them. Then they'd use them to trade for me. I guess it's a good thing I'm not one of them, huh?
[pause]
Henry Gale: You guys got any milk?

Jack: How can you read?
Ben: My mother taught me. I can read, Jack, because it beats what you're doing.
Jack: What's that?
Ben: Waiting for something to happen.
Jack: And what *is* gonna happen?
Ben: You tell me, Jack. You're the one that got to stay after school with Ms. Hawking.

Jack: And the other people on this plane, what's gonna happen to them?
Ben: Who cares?

Ben: Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?
Jack: What's that?
Ben: Ilana. There she was: hand-picked by Jacob, trained to come and protect you candidates. No sooner does she tell you who you are, than she blows up. The island was done with her. Makes me wonder what's gonna happen, when it's done with us.

Ben: Do you believe in God, Jack?
Jack: Do you?
Ben: Two days after I found out I had a fatal tumor on my spine, a spinal surgeon fell out of the sky... and if that's not proof of God, I don't know what is.

Ben: [on walkie-talkie] Frank? How's it going over there? What's your timetable?
Lapidus: [yells] Don't bother me!
Ben: Sounds like they're making progress.

Jack: Where is it?
Ben: Okay, I probably should have told you that I saw her take the phone, but you beat me up, Jack. I owed you one.
Jack: What are you talking about?
Ben: Kate took it when she hugged you... She found the right trail too, but you wouldn't listen to her, so I guess she's taken matters into her own hands. But look on the bright side - at least somebody around here knows what the hell they're doing.

Ilana: [at Locke's grave] Does anyone want to say anything? Didn't any of you know him?
Ben: Alright, I know him. John Locke was a... A believer, he was a man of faith, he was... A much better man than I will ever be.
[pause]
Ben: And I'm very sorry I murdered him.
Lapidus: [to himself] Weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to...