Funny Quotes :3
1. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
2. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
3. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
4. "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
5. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
6. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
7. What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
8. "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
9. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
10. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
11. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
12. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
13. Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia
14. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
15. You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
16. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
17. No,please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. - Homer
18. Oh, man! We killed Mr. Burns! Mr. Burns is gonna be so mad! - Homer
19. Fred: Oh get out of the way, Percy. Harry's in a hurry.
George: Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant.
20. Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?
21. Fred: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
22. James: "We spent the whole episode cheering for the good guys!"
23. Tamaki Suou: Alright! The Low Blood Pressure Evil Lord has given his approval!