NOTE: If you are sensitive with blatant racism against whites and Asians, then a. Why are you still friends with me? and b. stop reading this article. I will not deal with people being all butthurt about this.
So by now, I think you all know that Asian parents get all uptight and pissed about grades. I mean, white parents, they don't care. They're like:
White kid: Mom I got an A
Mother: *golf clap* That's great honey! *proceeds to bake cookies*
White kid: Mom I got a B
Mother: *golf clap* That's great honey! *proceeds to bake cookies*
White kid: Mom...I got a C
Mother: ... That's great honey! *accidentally-on-purpose burns the cookies so you can feel the shame through your taste buds*
I'm pretty sure white parents will only punish you if you get a D or F. And for punishment 'grounded for 3 months' or something. Which is laughable.
However, Asian parents will completely freak out if you get so much as an A-. I actually have no idea what the big problem is. My dad says it's coz they just want a good, successful life for us, since most Asian moms and dads used to spend their childhood in rice paddy field-poverty, but then again, he's an Asian parent, so it's just a bullshit excuse.
So we work and we study and we read books and shit. And our non-Asian friends are like, "Goddammit Matty Y U ALWAYS STUDY? Come play Mario Kart with us or kick the can" and I'm like, "Noooooo I have to finish this math question or I'll get a B" and they're like, "Why does it matter? A B is still good."
So we devised a way for non-Asians to slightly comprehend the consequences of our grades slipping.
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INTRODUCING THE ASIAN GRADING SYSTEM
A. IS FOR AVERAGE.
If you get an A, you are pretty much just like any other Asian, coz, well, it's expected of all Asians to get A's. You can't spell Asian without 'A'! lolz
Punishments suffered if you get this grade: None really. Well, they might make a snarky comment like, "YOU COULD HAVE DONE DUH BETTER AT DUH ASSIGNMENTS." Or they'll scan the comments and be like, "Y THIS TEACHER SAY YOU NO CONTRIBUTE TO CLASS? YOU DISRESPECT YO FAMILY IF YOU GET DUH BAD COMMENTS."
Alternatives: In mychonny's case, A stood for: A DOCTOR, A LAWYER, A BUSINESSMAN. Just... watch the video lol: link
B. IS FOR BAD.
If you get a B, you are automatically worse than the average A. So yeah. Bad.
Punishments: Most likely a lecture. A long one. Subject? Most definitely a bitch moan about rice paddy fields.
Alternatives: Shit Asian Moms said that B is for Bitch, which was pretty fitting. lol
C. IS FOR CRAP.
Cs. Apparently every time an Asian gets a C, a rice paddy field somewhere in China gets like a bug infestation and then that family bringing up those crops starve, which is apparently dishonouring your family? lol. So you could say that getting a C is 'crapping out on your family's honour'.
Punishments: DISAPRINE. Followed by an even longer lecture than the B one.
Alternatives: Castrated. I'm not sure if castration only works for guys, but trust me, Asian parents can find a way to neuter girls too.
D. IS FOR DEATH.
Boy, you're in for it now. Not only will you die a thousand times over at the hands of your parents, after that, you'll be 'dead to them' metaphorically as well.
Punishments: Death of course. Maybe completed with a severe thrashing.
Alternatives: Doomed. But eh, death sounds cooler in Engrish.
F. IS FOR FUCKED.
You thought there's nothing worse than death, right? WRONG. Coz if you get an F and are Asian, you are FUCKED. COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FUCKED.
Punishments: THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU. THERE'LL ONLY BE ENOUGH OF YOU LEFT TO FILL A MATCHBOX AFTER THEY FIND OUT.
Alternatives: Fail, of course. But F stood for Fail anyways lol
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Exceptions to this system: Well, I guess P.E. for one. Asians are uncoordinated anyways. Have you ever seen an Asian baseball player? Football player? God, we all fail.
My personal experience: I mostly get A's anyways, and then my parents buy me random crap for a reward lol. The comment part is true, though. It's like they're delibrately looking for a crack in the system.
I sometimes get B's, and then I get a disappointed look, but they don't really bug me about it.
I ONCE got an F on a Social Studies test, and I NEVER showed my parents. XD I'm afraid that the Fucked thing is true lol
So by now, I think you all know that Asian parents get all uptight and pissed about grades. I mean, white parents, they don't care. They're like:
White kid: Mom I got an A
Mother: *golf clap* That's great honey! *proceeds to bake cookies*
White kid: Mom I got a B
Mother: *golf clap* That's great honey! *proceeds to bake cookies*
White kid: Mom...I got a C
Mother: ... That's great honey! *accidentally-on-purpose burns the cookies so you can feel the shame through your taste buds*
I'm pretty sure white parents will only punish you if you get a D or F. And for punishment 'grounded for 3 months' or something. Which is laughable.
However, Asian parents will completely freak out if you get so much as an A-. I actually have no idea what the big problem is. My dad says it's coz they just want a good, successful life for us, since most Asian moms and dads used to spend their childhood in rice paddy field-poverty, but then again, he's an Asian parent, so it's just a bullshit excuse.
So we work and we study and we read books and shit. And our non-Asian friends are like, "Goddammit Matty Y U ALWAYS STUDY? Come play Mario Kart with us or kick the can" and I'm like, "Noooooo I have to finish this math question or I'll get a B" and they're like, "Why does it matter? A B is still good."
So we devised a way for non-Asians to slightly comprehend the consequences of our grades slipping.
--------------
INTRODUCING THE ASIAN GRADING SYSTEM
A. IS FOR AVERAGE.
If you get an A, you are pretty much just like any other Asian, coz, well, it's expected of all Asians to get A's. You can't spell Asian without 'A'! lolz
Punishments suffered if you get this grade: None really. Well, they might make a snarky comment like, "YOU COULD HAVE DONE DUH BETTER AT DUH ASSIGNMENTS." Or they'll scan the comments and be like, "Y THIS TEACHER SAY YOU NO CONTRIBUTE TO CLASS? YOU DISRESPECT YO FAMILY IF YOU GET DUH BAD COMMENTS."
Alternatives: In mychonny's case, A stood for: A DOCTOR, A LAWYER, A BUSINESSMAN. Just... watch the video lol: link
B. IS FOR BAD.
If you get a B, you are automatically worse than the average A. So yeah. Bad.
Punishments: Most likely a lecture. A long one. Subject? Most definitely a bitch moan about rice paddy fields.
Alternatives: Shit Asian Moms said that B is for Bitch, which was pretty fitting. lol
C. IS FOR CRAP.
Cs. Apparently every time an Asian gets a C, a rice paddy field somewhere in China gets like a bug infestation and then that family bringing up those crops starve, which is apparently dishonouring your family? lol. So you could say that getting a C is 'crapping out on your family's honour'.
Punishments: DISAPRINE. Followed by an even longer lecture than the B one.
Alternatives: Castrated. I'm not sure if castration only works for guys, but trust me, Asian parents can find a way to neuter girls too.
D. IS FOR DEATH.
Boy, you're in for it now. Not only will you die a thousand times over at the hands of your parents, after that, you'll be 'dead to them' metaphorically as well.
Punishments: Death of course. Maybe completed with a severe thrashing.
Alternatives: Doomed. But eh, death sounds cooler in Engrish.
F. IS FOR FUCKED.
You thought there's nothing worse than death, right? WRONG. Coz if you get an F and are Asian, you are FUCKED. COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FUCKED.
Punishments: THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU. THERE'LL ONLY BE ENOUGH OF YOU LEFT TO FILL A MATCHBOX AFTER THEY FIND OUT.
Alternatives: Fail, of course. But F stood for Fail anyways lol
-------------------
Exceptions to this system: Well, I guess P.E. for one. Asians are uncoordinated anyways. Have you ever seen an Asian baseball player? Football player? God, we all fail.
My personal experience: I mostly get A's anyways, and then my parents buy me random crap for a reward lol. The comment part is true, though. It's like they're delibrately looking for a crack in the system.
I sometimes get B's, and then I get a disappointed look, but they don't really bug me about it.
I ONCE got an F on a Social Studies test, and I NEVER showed my parents. XD I'm afraid that the Fucked thing is true lol
He has not been going to school. He keeps acting think he is sick he does not care they he will fail he does not care that he will be taken away. I just want to punch him.......... he thinks nothing can happen he does this about 2 years ago because some kid was not letting him play football but he says not one is picking on him so whats his bloody problem. We called his princible but he did not call back he said he help us but he is not even around. My dad he is never there so he no help. My mum she has to work alot she cant have the exra stress. All my brother cares about is his self.
sorry about the rant but i had to let it out
sorry about the rant but i had to let it out
(Note: One day I was very bored so I wrote this story I thought you guys would like to read it. The story will have spelling mistacks I sucks with spelling and Grammer.)
Once upone a time a monky stold Harry's Lucky Charms. Harry was mad he wanted to eat it becuse of it was the best wizarding food of all time but the monkey wanted to flush it down the potty. Harry chast the monkey all around the world and they can to potty city. The monkey throw the Lucky Charms it almost when in the potty intell Pikachu saved it. Harry Potter and Pikachu jump around becuse they got he lucky Charms but then Ash when over and kicked Harry and Pikachu stold the Lucky Carms then ran to NeverLand.
The End XD
Once upone a time a monky stold Harry's Lucky Charms. Harry was mad he wanted to eat it becuse of it was the best wizarding food of all time but the monkey wanted to flush it down the potty. Harry chast the monkey all around the world and they can to potty city. The monkey throw the Lucky Charms it almost when in the potty intell Pikachu saved it. Harry Potter and Pikachu jump around becuse they got he lucky Charms but then Ash when over and kicked Harry and Pikachu stold the Lucky Carms then ran to NeverLand.
The End XD