(So i found this in my notepad, and I wanted to share.
It's like if you got in trouble and were forced to write lines.
The reasons the numbers are random are cause these are my favorite from some list i can no longer find, plus this (*) means that I would so do that. (**) means that I probably would, if I had more balls, or was less lazy, and (***) means I would so do it, if I had friends to do it with, mostly, Fred and George.
3) No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I must not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.*
8) I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore!” **
11) If a classmate falls asleep in class, I will not take advantage of the fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm. ***
13) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against The Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, NOT a clever moneymaking scheme. ***
20) I will not bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination class.*
23) I will not tell Ron & Hermione to “get a room” whenever they start arguing.*
29) Skiving Snackboxes are not good presents for first years.*
65) “You might be a pureblood if...” jokes will get me into trouble. Especially in front of Slytherins.*
69) I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like “if your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?” *
70) I will not teach the Veela the lyrics to “Oops, I did it again.” Even if they ask nicely. **
73) I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads. Even if she is. *
74) Getting my little brother to record his latest thrash masterpiece onto a howler so I can listen to it may be a good idea in theory, but is not in practice. **
77) If a classmate is jingling the change in his pockets, I will not laugh at him for “playing with his Knuts.” *
79) I must not sell Umbridge’s quill to Emo students, especially if they are no good at poetry.*
100) I am not to send Snape shampoo and toothpaste, no matter how much I think he needs it. **
103) Screaming ‘VOLDEMORT’ in crowded hallways is not in good taste. *
109) Potter 6, Voldemort 0, is not a valid T-shirt slogan. *
110) Writing steamy love letters to Dumbledore signed; "Your Kitten," is not an ethical means of skipping Transfiguration class. (Though it is effective.) **
113) I will not sell pennies as priceless muggle collector coins. **
117) I will not refer to the Accio charm as ‘The force.’ *
118) I will not add ‘according to the prophecy’ at the end of sentences to try and up my Divination mark. *
121) I will not tell muggle born first years that Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans taste better when eaten by the handful.*
125) Providing Peeves with a case of Dungbombs was socially irresponsible and I will never do it again. **
128) The four houses are not; The Morons, The Borons, The Smart-Arses and the Junior Death Eaters.*
132) Yelling ‘to infinity and beyond’ when I take off on my broom was only funny once.*
149) I will not scare First Years with tales of an Omniscient author who controls our destinies.*
153) Putting a snitch down Draco’s pants is not funny, no matter how long he runs around screaming like a girl.*
154) Enchanting the brooms to hum the Sorcerer’s Apprentice is very, very annoying.*
157) Spiking the school’s pumpkin juice is not funny, no matter how much fun we all had that night. **
176) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class. Even if I brought enough for everybody. And emptying a bag full of them onto Snape’s desk to prove this last is also not good.*
192) House Elves are not there to do my homework.*
194) I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley Twins.*
200) Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.*
207) I will not re-enact Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall. ***
212) I am not to charm the words “ferret boy” onto Draco’s Malfoy’s forehead. He does not like being reminded of that incident.*
214) I cannot perform the Avada Kadavra curse, and pretending I can to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. *
216) Professor Snape’s problem is not that he “needs to get laid”. **
223) Telling Draco Malfoy I am getting him a ferret for Xmas is not funny.*
231) I will not Tie-dye all the owls. ***
245) Portable swamps are not funny. ***
274) A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking my nose, playing snooker, or drumming on desks. No matter how bored I am.*
280) I will not put books of muggle fairytales in the history section of the library. *
282) I will not ink my owl’s feet, have it walk across a parchment and sell it as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes. Even if Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it. **
290) “Y’all check this here shit out,” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.*
292) Ravenclaws do not find signs saying, “The library is closed for an indefinite period of time” amusing.Nor does Hermione Granger. **
293) Stealing first years’ clothing and tossing it into the Whomping Willow is frowned upon. ***
298) I am not the Wicked Witch of the West.*
299) I will not refer to Umbridge as such either.*
300) I will not melt if you pour water on me.*
301) Neither will Umbridge.*
325) Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.*
328) I will not attempt to sell off my old piercings as “priceless muggle artifacts.” ***
335) I am not to sing “we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz” when on my way to Dumbledore’s office.*
336) I am definitely not to sing it with house elves acting as a backing group. ***
337) Especially with kazoos **
338) I am not to hit Bludgers at spectators. **
348) I will not cast Petrificus Totalus on myself in order to avoid going to classes.*
355) I am not to scare the first years by screaming “I’m melting, I’m meeeeeltiiing” while they are in the showers.*
357) I will not start rumours that Prof. Snape sings “I’m too sexy for my robes” while showering. Or any other activity for that matter. **
367) I cannot lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room together and lay bets on which house comes out alive. ***
418) I am not to use the spell used to enchant Bludgers on peas.*
419) Or tomatoes, plums, oranges or any other food item. Or anything other than a Bludger. **
428) I am not a Vampire Slayer and Prof. Lupin is not my watcher. **
436) It is not necessary to shout “BURN!” when Snape docks house points from Gryffindor. *
442) I will not try and explain the laws of Physics, even just for arguments sake. *
454) Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as “Dumb and Dumber”.*
458) Singing “Ding dong the witch is dead” is never appropriate.*
477) I will not dress up as Prof. Snape for Halloween.**
480) Or Harry Potter.*
485) Fortune cookies are not allowed in Divination class.*
490) It is not necessary for me to yell “BAM” every time I apparate.*
493) I am not allowed to make lightsabre sounds with my wand.*
505) I will not piss off Filch...unless I know I can’t get caught.*
506) I will not hand out condoms to 1st years and tell them to “have fun.” ***
515) I will not give Hagrid’s rock cakes to 1st years & tell them it’s Honeydukes’ latest. ***
524) I will not play Quidditch in the corridors. ***
527) I am not allowed to give Gryffindors Pixie Stix.*
530) “Draco Malfoy takes it up the arse!” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant. ***
536) I will not put “hex me” signs on people’s backs.*
540) The answer to the Ravenclaw doorknocker’s riddle is never “your mum!”*
542) I will not tell Crabbe & Goyle their village called and they want their idiots back.*
545) I must not decorate Harry’s Firebolt & tell him I “pimped his ride”. ***
559) I will not enchant the toilets to sing when you flush them.*
561) I must not transfigure my desk into ice cream. Even if I’m hungry.*
It's like if you got in trouble and were forced to write lines.
The reasons the numbers are random are cause these are my favorite from some list i can no longer find, plus this (*) means that I would so do that. (**) means that I probably would, if I had more balls, or was less lazy, and (***) means I would so do it, if I had friends to do it with, mostly, Fred and George.
3) No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I must not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.*
8) I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore!” **
11) If a classmate falls asleep in class, I will not take advantage of the fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm. ***
13) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against The Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, NOT a clever moneymaking scheme. ***
20) I will not bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination class.*
23) I will not tell Ron & Hermione to “get a room” whenever they start arguing.*
29) Skiving Snackboxes are not good presents for first years.*
65) “You might be a pureblood if...” jokes will get me into trouble. Especially in front of Slytherins.*
69) I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like “if your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?” *
70) I will not teach the Veela the lyrics to “Oops, I did it again.” Even if they ask nicely. **
73) I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads. Even if she is. *
74) Getting my little brother to record his latest thrash masterpiece onto a howler so I can listen to it may be a good idea in theory, but is not in practice. **
77) If a classmate is jingling the change in his pockets, I will not laugh at him for “playing with his Knuts.” *
79) I must not sell Umbridge’s quill to Emo students, especially if they are no good at poetry.*
100) I am not to send Snape shampoo and toothpaste, no matter how much I think he needs it. **
103) Screaming ‘VOLDEMORT’ in crowded hallways is not in good taste. *
109) Potter 6, Voldemort 0, is not a valid T-shirt slogan. *
110) Writing steamy love letters to Dumbledore signed; "Your Kitten," is not an ethical means of skipping Transfiguration class. (Though it is effective.) **
113) I will not sell pennies as priceless muggle collector coins. **
117) I will not refer to the Accio charm as ‘The force.’ *
118) I will not add ‘according to the prophecy’ at the end of sentences to try and up my Divination mark. *
121) I will not tell muggle born first years that Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans taste better when eaten by the handful.*
125) Providing Peeves with a case of Dungbombs was socially irresponsible and I will never do it again. **
128) The four houses are not; The Morons, The Borons, The Smart-Arses and the Junior Death Eaters.*
132) Yelling ‘to infinity and beyond’ when I take off on my broom was only funny once.*
149) I will not scare First Years with tales of an Omniscient author who controls our destinies.*
153) Putting a snitch down Draco’s pants is not funny, no matter how long he runs around screaming like a girl.*
154) Enchanting the brooms to hum the Sorcerer’s Apprentice is very, very annoying.*
157) Spiking the school’s pumpkin juice is not funny, no matter how much fun we all had that night. **
176) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class. Even if I brought enough for everybody. And emptying a bag full of them onto Snape’s desk to prove this last is also not good.*
192) House Elves are not there to do my homework.*
194) I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley Twins.*
200) Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.*
207) I will not re-enact Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall. ***
212) I am not to charm the words “ferret boy” onto Draco’s Malfoy’s forehead. He does not like being reminded of that incident.*
214) I cannot perform the Avada Kadavra curse, and pretending I can to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. *
216) Professor Snape’s problem is not that he “needs to get laid”. **
223) Telling Draco Malfoy I am getting him a ferret for Xmas is not funny.*
231) I will not Tie-dye all the owls. ***
245) Portable swamps are not funny. ***
274) A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking my nose, playing snooker, or drumming on desks. No matter how bored I am.*
280) I will not put books of muggle fairytales in the history section of the library. *
282) I will not ink my owl’s feet, have it walk across a parchment and sell it as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes. Even if Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it. **
290) “Y’all check this here shit out,” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.*
292) Ravenclaws do not find signs saying, “The library is closed for an indefinite period of time” amusing.Nor does Hermione Granger. **
293) Stealing first years’ clothing and tossing it into the Whomping Willow is frowned upon. ***
298) I am not the Wicked Witch of the West.*
299) I will not refer to Umbridge as such either.*
300) I will not melt if you pour water on me.*
301) Neither will Umbridge.*
325) Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.*
328) I will not attempt to sell off my old piercings as “priceless muggle artifacts.” ***
335) I am not to sing “we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz” when on my way to Dumbledore’s office.*
336) I am definitely not to sing it with house elves acting as a backing group. ***
337) Especially with kazoos **
338) I am not to hit Bludgers at spectators. **
348) I will not cast Petrificus Totalus on myself in order to avoid going to classes.*
355) I am not to scare the first years by screaming “I’m melting, I’m meeeeeltiiing” while they are in the showers.*
357) I will not start rumours that Prof. Snape sings “I’m too sexy for my robes” while showering. Or any other activity for that matter. **
367) I cannot lock the Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room together and lay bets on which house comes out alive. ***
418) I am not to use the spell used to enchant Bludgers on peas.*
419) Or tomatoes, plums, oranges or any other food item. Or anything other than a Bludger. **
428) I am not a Vampire Slayer and Prof. Lupin is not my watcher. **
436) It is not necessary to shout “BURN!” when Snape docks house points from Gryffindor. *
442) I will not try and explain the laws of Physics, even just for arguments sake. *
454) Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as “Dumb and Dumber”.*
458) Singing “Ding dong the witch is dead” is never appropriate.*
477) I will not dress up as Prof. Snape for Halloween.**
480) Or Harry Potter.*
485) Fortune cookies are not allowed in Divination class.*
490) It is not necessary for me to yell “BAM” every time I apparate.*
493) I am not allowed to make lightsabre sounds with my wand.*
505) I will not piss off Filch...unless I know I can’t get caught.*
506) I will not hand out condoms to 1st years and tell them to “have fun.” ***
515) I will not give Hagrid’s rock cakes to 1st years & tell them it’s Honeydukes’ latest. ***
524) I will not play Quidditch in the corridors. ***
527) I am not allowed to give Gryffindors Pixie Stix.*
530) “Draco Malfoy takes it up the arse!” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant. ***
536) I will not put “hex me” signs on people’s backs.*
540) The answer to the Ravenclaw doorknocker’s riddle is never “your mum!”*
542) I will not tell Crabbe & Goyle their village called and they want their idiots back.*
545) I must not decorate Harry’s Firebolt & tell him I “pimped his ride”. ***
559) I will not enchant the toilets to sing when you flush them.*
561) I must not transfigure my desk into ice cream. Even if I’m hungry.*