1. “Accidentally” call him a girl in public.
2. Ask him if he is a transvestite.
3. Every time he goes on stage yell “Bill you’ve impregnated me!!” and run.
4. Ask him if he could ever have a baby.
5. Pretend you can’t remember his name, and call him Tom-with-makeup all day.
6. Laugh hysterically every time he speaks the word ‘what’
7. Steal all his eyeliner and begin drawing strange pictures all over his walls. When he asks what you are doing turn your back to him and mutter something about Georg doing you wrong.
8. Sing very loudly and very off-key to any Green Day song he might be playing
9. At 2:27 in the morning, jump on his bed and scream “The leprechauns are attacking! The leprechauns are attacking! Run for you life!”
10. Rename him Phillip Johnny Bob and refuse to call him by any other name.
11. Give away the ending to any movie he may be watching.
12. Every time he beats you at a video game smack him with a pillow and accuse him of cheating.
13. Make fun of his dancing.
14. Teel him he looks like Michael Jackson.
15. Tell him Tom is SOO much cuter than him.
16. Watch the ‘Thriller’ music video and stare at him with wide, terrified eyes the rest of the day
17. Make a list of ways to annoy him
18. When you go wake him up in the morning quietly ask him where babies come from.
19. Balance a book on your head and follow him around all day
20. Sing “Dude looks like a Lady” at 2:48 AM every morning.
21. Tell him he should hook up with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
22. Put purple Jell-O in his shower head.
23. Put on some sappy chick flick, turn up the volume as loud as it’ll go, and ask him why the boys were so mean to Jennifer.
24. Splash him with water and shout “The power of Christ compels you!”
25. After every sentence he says ask him “Why?”
26. Before they go on stage for a concert introduce them as the Weather Girls.
27. Scream and smack him upside the head every time he says the word ‘guitar’.
28. Somehow shove him into a dress and throw him out on the streets for all his fan girls to see.
29. Never let him forget that Tom is indeed older than him.
30. During an awkward silence loudly point out that he looks like a drunken llama.
31. Ask him if he was ever on the Oprah show.
32. Take all of his clothes and dye them light pink.
33. When he has a hangover, yell “Ready, Set, Go!!” in his ear
34. Poke him every 10 seconds and tell him random facts about tacos.
35. Write a note to Bill saying that you are a crazed stalker fan girl that stalks him every night while he sleeps.
36. Tell Bill every time he blinks 5 pieces of his hair falls out.
37. When he tries to fall asleep after a concert, jump on his bed
38. Jump on his back every 15 minutes telling him that you want a piggy back ride [even in the shower].
39. Put a pencil in his hair and see if it disappears.
40. [continue from 39] If the pencil disappears put another one in.
41. Go sky dive from the top of his hotel and draw how your kids with him would look like on his window with colorful sharpies.
42. Hide in his closet and watch him change and squeak every time he is about to take off his pants. ( such as touching his zipper) (Oh and lock the door from the inside.)
43. Record yourself sniffing his clothes, and send it to ALL of his family members…then run and change your name, or prepare to be SUED!!!
44. Put pink hair dye in his shampoo.
45. Sit on his head, and try to hide in it. When he asks what you are doing, tell him you thought you saw a white hair.
46. Try to find the pencils in his hair.
47. Ask him why the sky is blue over and over again.
48. Make him read porno, and take a picture of him doing so.
49. Try making him read an English dictionary that has no pictures.
50. Give his clothes to a hobo, and make him go on stage in his boxers.( yeah enjoy that fan girls)
51. Take away his candy for a month.
52. When he tries to go to an interview hold onto his leg, and say “Daddy don’t go, please daddy!!”
53. Pretend that you are ninja out of nowhere, and attack him out of nowhere.
54. Put random fruit on his head.
55. Pull his hair every minute, and tell him Gustav did it.
56. Lick his cheek when he does a sound check.
57. Put soda on ALL of his clothes, and then make him wear them.
58. Paint his nails with little ducks when he goes to sleep.
59. Forbid him to use hairspray, claim that it is bad for his voice.
60. When he descends to the hotel lobby in his white and black striped shirt, Adidas sneakers, black and white nail polis, and black and white dreads ask him why he is dressed like a zebra, and that the costume party is NEXT Friday.
61. Obviously, he didn’t listen when you told him to lay off of the hairspray so now you simply hide it from him.
62. Laugh when Stressed-out-Bill, who cannot find his hairspray, throws a fit. Ask if he wants some vanilla tea.
63. He is having trouble choosing between a vampire outfit and a phantom of the opera custom for the custom party Friday. Then ask him what was wrong with the zebra.
64. Burst out laughing while listening to Through the Monsoon. When he asks you what are you laughing at answer in the most British accent you can manage and tell him that you think his pronunciation of the word storm is funny.
65. Poke him. Just poke him nonstop until it drives him mad.
66. Let a rabid monkey loose in his room while he is sleep.
67. Make him write a song about cheese puffs, a monkey, and a broken air conditioner, and make him perform it a concert.
68. Place a very scary looking porcelain doll at the end of his bed while he is sleeping. Then tape a ketchup smothered butcher knife in its hand.
69. Put a cow in his room and wait for the surprise!
2. Ask him if he is a transvestite.
3. Every time he goes on stage yell “Bill you’ve impregnated me!!” and run.
4. Ask him if he could ever have a baby.
5. Pretend you can’t remember his name, and call him Tom-with-makeup all day.
6. Laugh hysterically every time he speaks the word ‘what’
7. Steal all his eyeliner and begin drawing strange pictures all over his walls. When he asks what you are doing turn your back to him and mutter something about Georg doing you wrong.
8. Sing very loudly and very off-key to any Green Day song he might be playing
9. At 2:27 in the morning, jump on his bed and scream “The leprechauns are attacking! The leprechauns are attacking! Run for you life!”
10. Rename him Phillip Johnny Bob and refuse to call him by any other name.
11. Give away the ending to any movie he may be watching.
12. Every time he beats you at a video game smack him with a pillow and accuse him of cheating.
13. Make fun of his dancing.
14. Teel him he looks like Michael Jackson.
15. Tell him Tom is SOO much cuter than him.
16. Watch the ‘Thriller’ music video and stare at him with wide, terrified eyes the rest of the day
17. Make a list of ways to annoy him
18. When you go wake him up in the morning quietly ask him where babies come from.
19. Balance a book on your head and follow him around all day
20. Sing “Dude looks like a Lady” at 2:48 AM every morning.
21. Tell him he should hook up with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
22. Put purple Jell-O in his shower head.
23. Put on some sappy chick flick, turn up the volume as loud as it’ll go, and ask him why the boys were so mean to Jennifer.
24. Splash him with water and shout “The power of Christ compels you!”
25. After every sentence he says ask him “Why?”
26. Before they go on stage for a concert introduce them as the Weather Girls.
27. Scream and smack him upside the head every time he says the word ‘guitar’.
28. Somehow shove him into a dress and throw him out on the streets for all his fan girls to see.
29. Never let him forget that Tom is indeed older than him.
30. During an awkward silence loudly point out that he looks like a drunken llama.
31. Ask him if he was ever on the Oprah show.
32. Take all of his clothes and dye them light pink.
33. When he has a hangover, yell “Ready, Set, Go!!” in his ear
34. Poke him every 10 seconds and tell him random facts about tacos.
35. Write a note to Bill saying that you are a crazed stalker fan girl that stalks him every night while he sleeps.
36. Tell Bill every time he blinks 5 pieces of his hair falls out.
37. When he tries to fall asleep after a concert, jump on his bed
38. Jump on his back every 15 minutes telling him that you want a piggy back ride [even in the shower].
39. Put a pencil in his hair and see if it disappears.
40. [continue from 39] If the pencil disappears put another one in.
41. Go sky dive from the top of his hotel and draw how your kids with him would look like on his window with colorful sharpies.
42. Hide in his closet and watch him change and squeak every time he is about to take off his pants. ( such as touching his zipper) (Oh and lock the door from the inside.)
43. Record yourself sniffing his clothes, and send it to ALL of his family members…then run and change your name, or prepare to be SUED!!!
44. Put pink hair dye in his shampoo.
45. Sit on his head, and try to hide in it. When he asks what you are doing, tell him you thought you saw a white hair.
46. Try to find the pencils in his hair.
47. Ask him why the sky is blue over and over again.
48. Make him read porno, and take a picture of him doing so.
49. Try making him read an English dictionary that has no pictures.
50. Give his clothes to a hobo, and make him go on stage in his boxers.( yeah enjoy that fan girls)
51. Take away his candy for a month.
52. When he tries to go to an interview hold onto his leg, and say “Daddy don’t go, please daddy!!”
53. Pretend that you are ninja out of nowhere, and attack him out of nowhere.
54. Put random fruit on his head.
55. Pull his hair every minute, and tell him Gustav did it.
56. Lick his cheek when he does a sound check.
57. Put soda on ALL of his clothes, and then make him wear them.
58. Paint his nails with little ducks when he goes to sleep.
59. Forbid him to use hairspray, claim that it is bad for his voice.
60. When he descends to the hotel lobby in his white and black striped shirt, Adidas sneakers, black and white nail polis, and black and white dreads ask him why he is dressed like a zebra, and that the costume party is NEXT Friday.
61. Obviously, he didn’t listen when you told him to lay off of the hairspray so now you simply hide it from him.
62. Laugh when Stressed-out-Bill, who cannot find his hairspray, throws a fit. Ask if he wants some vanilla tea.
63. He is having trouble choosing between a vampire outfit and a phantom of the opera custom for the custom party Friday. Then ask him what was wrong with the zebra.
64. Burst out laughing while listening to Through the Monsoon. When he asks you what are you laughing at answer in the most British accent you can manage and tell him that you think his pronunciation of the word storm is funny.
65. Poke him. Just poke him nonstop until it drives him mad.
66. Let a rabid monkey loose in his room while he is sleep.
67. Make him write a song about cheese puffs, a monkey, and a broken air conditioner, and make him perform it a concert.
68. Place a very scary looking porcelain doll at the end of his bed while he is sleeping. Then tape a ketchup smothered butcher knife in its hand.
69. Put a cow in his room and wait for the surprise!
