Okay, there are lots of unsavory “spoilers” going around right now, revolving around the death of One Chuck Bass, and we have lots of thoughts of this topic. To save yourself the trouble of reading, here is the short version of our ramblings: “Um, no.”
First and foremost, what would Gossip Girl be without Chuck Bass? The Dan and Blair rom com? Excuse us while we vomit. Chuck ties everyone together; he’s the love of Blair’s life, Serena’s brother, Nate’s best friend, and Dan’s superior in every way imaginable. What would Nate do without him? Sleep with every guest star EVER, that’s what. Half of his scenes are with Chuck, mostly pointing out how awesome Chuck is and how Chuck and Blair are meant for each other! And why have the Diana Payne/Bart Bass connection if they were just going to kill him off? There’s more to that story for sure — without Chuck, who gives a flying fuck? Next to the Serena and Blair friendship (which is pretty much DOA at the moment), Chuck Bass IS Gossip Girl. When Ed Westwick is filming GG scenes, people FLOCK to the set. When they need to send someone to promote their show? They send Ed. What would they do without him? Puh-lease. He couldn’t be so lucky. ;-)
Secondly, yes, Chuck has had several brushes with death. But, that’s just it. If they wanted to kill him, they could have done so in 3.22 or 5.10, or even all the way back in Season Two. But, they didn’t. Why? Because that would be terrible storytelling and no one would watch their craptastic show. Chuck has had a rough life. Why put him through all that just to kill him when the show is almost over? Why the emphasis on Chuck’s growth arc this season? Right when Chuck becomes the man he (and Blair) always wanted him to be, the writers are like, “LOL. Psyche!” Just…no. If karma exists, he’s long overdue for happiness. And there is far, FAR more foreshadowing that Chuck will finally find happiness, then Chuck will find himself meshed with the pavement below the Empire State Building. More to the point, if Chuck had jumped from the freaking Empire State Building, nobody would be sitting in a hospital waiting room. They would be at a morgue trying to identify him by the dust of his femur or something.
Most importantly, IF, in fact, the “spoilers” about Chuck’s death are true, it obviously points to a confirmation that SOMEONE is in some kind of altered dream state. In fact, a coma nightmare or some kind of play on “Inside” would actually make a lot of sense for the last half of this season, considering how completely fucked up it’s been. It would explain the OOC-ness of certain characters, it would explain the fact that we occasionally feel like we are on a bad acid trip when watching certain episodes, and it would actually make it possible for the writers to neatly tie this season together. It would be an AHA moment, and we would find reason in a hopeless case. Or love in a hopeless place. Whatever. So, maybe, just maybe, Chuck — or somebody — is waking from their coma at the time this all takes place. Remember Chuck’s words from 5.09? “The worst thing happened and I didn’t die.” #Foreshadowing Or maybe Dan’s awful fanfiction is finally coming to a gruesome end. If so, praise Jesus.
Whether it be a coma nightmare, or some kind of “Inside” meta bullshit, we are 100% certain that Chuck Bass will not actually be killed off. DO YOU HEAR US, FANDOM? Because the death of Chuck would mean the death of GG itself, and the writers have approximately 13 more episodes after the finale to end their show with dignity. How embarrassing to write for the lowest rated show on television — so rated because the writers would have officially done everything in their power to do every worst possible storyline. Awesome.
And let us not forget… Chuck Bass can fly.
All credit goes to :cosmiclovecb.com