This is a fic about Blair losing her virginity to chuck rather than her boyfriend Nate, who she had always dreamt and planned on losing it to. This is a post-Victor-Victrola story. Unlike other fics about this storyline it focuses on Blair's feelings about herself, Nate and Chuck too. It is still a Chuck/Blair story. Its mainly Blair feeling confident and proud that she gets to have a happy moment without her cheating, never-there boyfriend and how someone else (chuck) was there for her and made her feel worthy and it has made her realise that she is worth it and doesn't need to worry so much about the future she planned with Nate. So it does venture slightly away from what went on to happen on the show in terms of Blair wanting Nate back. In this fic she doesn't want Nate any more, she has been awakened (sex with chuck) and is finally standing up for herself.
You have to keep in mind that Blair was a virgin around this point and still young and this fic starts off talking about her feelings about losing her virginity so expect her to be all giddy and giggly and slightly embarrassed!
Featured Song: (Inspired by) Marina and the Diamonds: Seventeen. (listen to this song now! And check out her other songs too, she's amazing!)
Bold Italics= Song lyrics
Italics: past events & conversations (real and fiction)
Rated for language and reference to adult themes.
p.s: you'll have to figure out which parts (fic and song lyrics) refer to Chuck and Nate as I don't really mention their names that much. It also feature real dialogue from the show and some stuff I've made up to fit in the fic.
No longer a virgin. I've been....fucked. I got laid. I was ridden. I had sex. He went down on me. I came. Multiple times. He still wanted more. I was amazing (that's what he said!) I'm beautiful (he said that too!) I saw his...penis...I touched it...held it...it was inside me! It was huge...and bloody amazing! Omg...I've been tainted. What am I thinking! I'm Blair Waldorf i'm not supposed to think such filthy thoughts...please do not let him rub off on me!
Use to be a major scale
but the melody went stale
musical cacophony let
insy winsy spider free
What has he done to me. I feel....different. Surreal. Good. I feel free and i'm giggling to myself. I don't think I can even say his name any more without...feeling....embarrassed? I slept with him and now I feel weird saying his name...or even just thinking it in my head. I lost my v-card to him! The pompous jackass who's probably gloating about it right now...no he wouldn't. Not to me.
But he's so far up his own ass would he even act like it meant anything to him? Does he even fucking care! Is he thinking about me right now?
The smug multi-billionaire heir who can get any (and every) girl in the whole of New York, acts all smart and sexy like a typical handsome rich boy. But he had sex with me and told me I was beautiful. And he looked at me. Like that.
Your a rich little boy
who's had to work for his toys
you've got all sensibilities oh
of an upper class guy
The bass-tard asked me if I was sure...like he was taking care of me or something. Ok ill admit, it was flattering. He wanted to make sure I was...sure. He knows how much it meant to me. He wanted to give me control...I get that. But what was with the commands...telling me (in that sexy, sultry voice of his) to say his name....telling me to moan louder telling me to tell him I want him before he would...enter. Stopping until I told him I needed him inside me...
Noooo, no i'm not your little slave
"I prefer you on top," he growled whilst kissing along her collar bone.
"Mmmm...don't stop now," she whispered closing her eyes, she didn't want to see him smirk.
"But I've got you right where I want you." he replied.
She opened her eyes, "I thought you preferred me on top?" she challenged.
"Oh yeah, I said that didn't I? Maybe I don't care where you are....as long as i'm inside you." he said whilst suddenly pushing into her again. She yelped from the sudden intrusion (wait, it's only intrusion when it's not welcome right?)
"That's right Blair...just.....like that," he growled whilst moving within her. Her breathing was heavy as she started to get used to the act.
"Say my name..." he requested as her eyes met his in a confused stare, and then he slowed down.
"Don't stop." she pleaded and her body twitched with pleasure.
"Say my fucking name...don't just say it, scream it. Chant it," he growled on her lips before sucking on her bottom lip.
"No...I can't" she said....she was just as stubborn as him.
He stopped and pulled out of her.
"I guess you just don't want this then?" he said whilst moving away from her, she grabbed him hurriedly and tried to rock her hips towards him.
"Please...just don't...make me." (i.e, I'll do it, just don't tell me to do it, i'm not your slave)
"I want you screaming my name whilst I pump into you." he breathed huskily whilst he got hold of her and hovered above her, he was so close.
"mmm...just come closer...I ...want you inside of me." she pleaded whilst pulling him towards her.
"Tell me you need me," he asked between heated kisses.
She moaned in to his mouth and barely whispers onto his lips, "I need you inside me, Chuck."
"Scream it like you mean it," he frowned before driving into her harder than ever before, she instinctively screamed out his name without even realising it and he smirked whilst flipping them over so she was on top.
"Ride me." he commanded whilst grabbing her hips and moving her up and down. Her mouth formed and O as she tried to adjust to their new position.
"Make me," she threw back seductively, trying to use his tactics of control over him.
He almost chuckled darkly and began forcing her body up and down on him until she picked up the rhythm. He was groaning and moaning watching the girl of his wildest, filthiest dreams moving over him.
"Fuck Blair, you're amazing...you so fucking beautiful you don't know what you do to me!" he groaned loudly. She smirked whilst slowing down and rocking her hips, "fuck Blair, don't.....go faster...I need you to go faster, please..." he begged whilst grasping her hips again and making her move faster. she leant down to kiss him as she continued her ministrations.
"Faster," she begged in return as he moved her body.
I must admit it was quite encouraging to know that telling him I needed him to go faster made him more turned on. Ill let him off for being rough because he started off so slow and tender as if I meant something to him (and because I liked it rough).
He didn't expect me to be blonde or leggy. He didn't expect sunshine and it seemed like he enjoyed the fire he got instead. He didn't want the bubbly, confident, (loose), bombshell that's aka my best friend.
No, he wanted me. Me, the not so tall, not so slim, dark haired, bitchy, manipulative, insecure, imperfect, inexperienced virgin. But he said i'm beautiful. He didn't tell me to tone it down or to stop being so uptight. He didn't accuse me of being pushy or needy, he didn't say I should let loose and be more like Serena. He didn't try to make me someone i'm not. He didn't try to change me. He didn't tell me to stop being so "Blair" like that's a bad thing. In fact he chanted my name over and over and it got huskier and sexier each time. Like he was begging for me. Unlike my boyfriend he didn't expect me to be anyone but me. Yes, my boyfriend, whom everyone thinks is so perfect just because he's an Archibald, expects me to be prim and proper like a good little girlfriend whilst he cant even be a good boyfriend, I can't think of a single good thing to say about him right now.
No I don't twist and turn that way
only got bad things to say
I'm Blair Waldorf (and it finally means something (to me)). It's like I've been suddenly awakened now. I can feel the power. I feel in control, confident. I sometimes even feel all the things he said I was that night he made me a woman. When I look in the mirror at my naked body I blush because I can hear his silky, husky voice whispering dirty things into my ear (you look so fuckable right now) and apparently I am fuckable because he fucked me again. On the night of my birthday party. I'm seventeen and i'm not the virgin, needy girlfriend I was yesterday.
"why are you smiling" he whispered into her ear as her smile spread out to the corners of her eyes, her cheeks blushed red like her bruised lips.
She turned to him, feeling slightly embarrassed that 24 hours ago she was in the exact same situation.
"I...didn't expect this....again." she whispered back sweetly whilst trying to hide her smile from him.
He turned her face fully towards him, "what? You didn't expect us to fuck each other two nights in a row?" he growled and she shied away from his crudeness, he sighed, "you think I did?" he finished and the sudden vulnerability in his voice made her feel a little more comfortable with the situation. She looked at him again and almost choked from the intensity in his eyes, the way he looked at her, as if looking at her was keeping him from drowning.
"You're not...Chuck Bass." she said warily and he cocked an eyebrow at her in confusion before agreeing with her, he wasn't himself, Chuck Bass didn't sleep with the same girl twice, he didn't look at girls the way he was looking at her and he definitely never experienced the tightening of his chest every time it looked as if she was about to pull away.
"You're Blair Waldorf." he responded, because he was sure that the girl he was with right now was the real Blair and not the masked society girl everyone else (including Nate) saw.
She smiled, "I am." For the first time she actually felt happy about being herself. She was comfortable in her own skin when she was with him because he preferred her in...just her skin.
"How about another strip tease?" he asked her huskily whilst playing with her hair.
"I'm already naked." duh.
He chuckled, "Oh yeah....then just a dance. On this bed, over me." he winked at her seductively and she laughed at his random request, trying not to think back to the night before when she had stripped on stage for him.
"I...don't think it's appropriate right now Bass." she tried to convince him.
"You've done worse. May I remind you of a few moments ago when you were on top of me riding me like a cow girl whilst screaming my name not caring about the party going on next door, now if your mother were to see you she would find that entirely inappropriate." he drawled whilst running a finger along her collar bone.
She ducked her head shyly, remembering how she had behaved whilst having sex with him, "that was....just...spur of the moment." she defended playfully as she tried to focus on something other than his hand coming excruciatingly close to her breasts.
"Well...you've been much too inhibited these past few years, luckily I got to you in time and set you free....princess, God knows what would have happened to you if you turned 17 still a virgin." he teased, smirking at her.
"Oh, you're a real hero Bass...my very own dark knight." she teased back dramatically, placing her hand on her chest and accidentally touching his hand. He tugged on her hand just as she was about to move it away and held it in place on her chest near her beating heart.
"So...how was your first time?" he breathed on to her lips...
You know what they say about your first time not being enjoyable (for a girl)...well who on earth said that? Is it some sort of rule because I must have missed something. My first time was...incredible....yeah it hurt a little but it felt good (the pain felt good) and you wont believe what the smug Basshole said! (I slid past easily because you were so wet for me). He had to make it all about him and how desperate I was for him! But let me tell you this...the second night he came armed with diamonds! If that's not desperate then please enlighten me! It was sweet and romantic especially for him! And of course the sex was....even more incredible than the last time. He made me feel like I was worthy, like there were a million other places he could have been that night but he chose me. Chased me.
It's different in school. People have noticed the change, apparently I carry myself differently, like royalty. He says it's because i'm finding it easier to walk now that he's performed certain plumbing down there (he used a dirty four letter word beginning with C, but you wont hear me repeating it.) Even my ex-boyfriend has noticed a difference. He says i'm glowing and I can tell he feels guilty about our break-up, even though he avoids calling it that because now that he's seen me looking so confident and happy he probably wants me back.
your always asking what is up, up with me
Fool. He has the nerve to try and catch up. Has the nerve to ask me how I am and how things are going with me. He's oblivious to the fact that the night I turned seventeen I was well and truly fucked by the guy standing right next to him. And if it wasn't for a thing called decency I would have jumped the Mother-Chucker right there in the court yard in front of my boyfriend and class mates who would be more than welcome to watch and feel envious at how perfectly we fit together and how well sex looks on us. Because yeah, we're that good. But Nate still bothers to ask me how I am and what's been going on with me recently.
could never tell you what happened the day I turned
the rise of a king and the fall of a queen
(Because he's a king and I've fallen for him)
My (ex) boyfriend and I share nothing in common. He hates all the things I love. I love to be on top (I mean that in terms of power, not sex (although it's true in both case)), I would do whatever it takes to be Queen, even though recently, people (Jenny Humphrey) think they can oust me or take over, whatever. But you don't get it, I cant let anyone take my power and I'll do what ever it takes to show them who I am. You just think it makes me immature and pathetic, you think i'm some control freak but all I want is to be happy, you wont ever accept it (but he does, he likes me on top (yes, that has a double meaning) he likes that i'm strong willed and bitchy because we're both the same).
"I saw your father get arrested. Why didn't you come to me? I would have listened." she asked him desperately hoping he had a good enough excuse.
"I tried, Blair. But every time I tried, something has got your attention; a dinner party, you know, a masked ball."
You hated the society events. You hated walking around with me whilst I networked. You said it made you feel old and you found it laughable how I acted like a wife. You always looked so shocked when I spoke my mind. When I schemed and plotted against people who dared to cross me, you thought I was being immature and evil. You apologised to others for my behaviour when all I was doing was outing people for who they really are. No I didn't do if for entertainment or for fun...I ruin people because they deserve it, because they make me unhappy. Like you do.
Oh you were embarrassed of me
cause I used my tongue freely
He's your best friend but he's my equal and at least he understands me. My scheming partner. He's always been there for me and defended me. He likes the things about me that you call flaws. He likes that i'm bold and speak my mind. He encourages me to stand up for myself. He believes in me. He's proud of me for not being a pushover. He defends me and assists me when people do me wrong. He protects me. He made me a woman in more ways than one. He tells me i'm strong, he makes me stronger because I know he's right behind me holding me up, ready for my fall, ready to pick me up and put together the pieces. He has had me like you never will. He's strong, i'm strong.
You know it deep down.
You see the way we go together, the way people see us as two of the same, a pair, when we're together it makes you weak because you don't have him like I have him and you don't have me like he has me.
bet you wish I couldn't speak
cause when I do you know I tell you why you appear weak
I wont be a trophy wife.
You wanna have some free life
go get your upper class wife
she's got all personalities of
a lemon that has been truly sucked dry
I wont be a pushover. I wont follow your rules. You can't pine over my best friend and expect me to be an obedient girlfriend and let you get away with it. You can't expect me to accept second best (especially when he looks at me like that).
You teach me how to behave
I felt you question the way
I was brought up as a baby
well you don't know f*** about my family
You think I don't understand what's going on with your family...like I know nothing about you or what it's like to lose a father. You could have told me but obviously i'm not that important to you. You think I was raised to be a certain way, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect future wife. Well that's changed now. I don't have to try and be the 'perfect this' or the 'perfect that' because...
"You're so perfect the way you are," he whispered hotly onto her shoulder...she hadn't even noticed his presence until he was almost wrapped up behind her.
"How long have you been here?" she whispered back, not daring to turn and look at him.
"I've.....always been....here," he murmured onto her her shoulder whilst kissing her there.
She gasped at the feel of his hot lips on her bare skin. She was clad in her underwear as she had been examining herself in her mirror moments ago, before racing to the bathroom and collapsing in front of the porcelain bowl, she was ready to heave but the air went warm suddenly (she should have known it was because he had walked in).
"I didn't do it." she quickly said, she was about to (throw up), but he came in time.
"I know, looks like I came to your rescue again," he smirked as she turned her head to meet his gaze.
She smiled lazily in return and closed her eyes as his hand moved towards her waist and held her there. If thanks giving was all about being thankful then he was what she was thankful for.
"I must have superpowers," he continued to whisper, as if he were revealing some deep dark secret, well it kind of was. No one could know.
"Why? Because you "saved" me?" she smiled.
"No," he began whilst stroking her cheek and turning her fully towards him,"because I clearly see something no one else does, you're so beautiful," he finished huskily, yet seriously, she had to know, she just had to know how beautiful she was.
Her eyes closed as they filled up with tears, why did he have to make her feel this way, as if she could get cut and break into a million pieces but he would still be able to make the pain go away. "it feels like the past 17 years of my life have been all about trying to be someone i'm not capable of being. I'll never be good enough." she whispered as painful tears burned a path down her cheek.
She felt his fingers delicately banish the moisture from her face and she opened her eyes to look into his safe ones, "don't forget who you are Blair, you're better than what they want you to be, you're the girl who strip teased for me in a club and had the best time of her life doing it, you're the girl who schemes and ruins people who try to do you wrong and you enjoy the satisfaction of being bad (human)" they both smiled and he looked at her and smirked, "you're the girl who became a woman in the back of a moving vehicle, not so graceful but it just proves that each time you've experienced true happiness it has been whilst doing something society would frown upon, but something you've loved doing." he explained, trying to convince her that the real her is the Blair he sees and also the Blair she enjoys being.
"But what;s the point in being someone you're ashamed of?" she countered.
"Why are you ashamed of being you? You're perfect. It's time you believed it" he said seriously whilst tightening his grip around her waist.
"You're not so bad yourself," she replied shyly as his forehead reached hers in a light chuckle.
"I kind of figured you thought that the first time you jumped me in the shower the time you turned 17." he laughed and she closed her eyes in embarrassment, remembering how he had gone to shower the morning after and she couldn't help but imagine what he looked like naked and wet and then she had suddenly surprised him in the shower by attacking him with her hands and lips until " you fucked me good and proper under the falling water, not that you needed help getting wet." he breathed into her ear, feeling her tremble from the reference to them having sex.
"You've become awfully smug since taking my virginity Bass," she teased, suddenly her bad mood and bad day didn't seem to be bothering her any more and any thoughts of throwing up were out the window.
"Hmmm, well removing the Queen's chastity belt must make me King in our warped world," he suggested, because they were in their own world, a world where there was no judgement, no expectations, no rules, no loneliness, just them; Chuck and Blair.
She smiled, "our (perfect) world," she whispered as his lips came crashing down on hers. She climbed on top of him immediately, whilst he laid on the bathroom floor. The cool tiles against his clothed back made him grab hold of her legs as he sat up. The next thing she knew she was crashing down on her bed and being pressed into her mattress by the weight of her King, bringing back memories of all the times she had been with him since the night in the limo.
Could never tell you what happened the day I turned
the rise of a king and the fall of a queen
oh seventeen, seven-teen
It's just me and him now. It might not be like the fairy tales but I've always preferred to make my own story. A story that doesn't involve Nate Archibald, the (ex) boyfriend who couldn't see me whilst my best friend towered over me.
The rise of a king, the fall of a queen
(He's a king now. I'm his queen. You can be the prince for all I care (i'm worthy of more than that))
Ok...so I can actually say his name now, it's all I ever think about. Chuck Bass. Charles Bartholomew Bass. Chuck fucking Bass. Bass. Blair Bass. It has a certain ring to it right? It makes me sound powerful, bold and beautiful. Not like a Porcelain doll/Trophy wife (Blair Archibald) and definitely not a masked, invisible so and so's daughter (Blair Waldorf). Blair Bass, it's almost regal.
Never felt like a princess
And i'm glad because I never wanted to be a princess. Princesses are naive, weak and need nurturing. They need someone to constantly look after them and come to their rescue. I've already been rescued and I've always preferred to be called Queen. That's how I feel right now and I cant help but keep reminiscing about the night I became who I am today.
I use to kill myself in this dress
Standing here in my bedroom, in front of my mirror, smiling at my figure, holding this dress. The last time I wore this, Chuck Bass was peeling it off in the back of his limo and I was being fingered for the first time by a real man. Yes, I got fingered whilst wearing this dress. But when it got taken off, that's when the real fun started. That's when my new life began. That's when I was set free. I don't regret any of it.
"Chuck Bass," I whisper.
that it was just how things were meant to be
O.k so there it is!
I hope you go and listen to Marina and the Diamonds, I know she's unheard of right now, but I guarantee she will be big this year! She's amazing! And this song was awesome for some Chuck/Blair Inspiration.
I hope it fit well and I hope the fic made sense. It did go back and forth with the order and may have been confusing at times but I hope you could see clearly which parts were about Chuck and which were about Nate!
I would love to hear you're thoughts and whether you'd like me to write another...i'm thinking of writing another fic using her other song, I am Not a Robot which is even better!
Review on your way out pretty please and let me know if I should do another!