This fanfic is the result of boredom and desperate need for a fanatic.
Yeah.
Here we go :)
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Umm yeah.
So about a year has passed since leyton gave birth to their child and were married.
Brooke is out being a hot sexy fashion designer, and Luke is a fugly stay at home dad.
"Yo Luke you gonna fry me up some chicken? I'm hungry."
"In a moment dear, I'm wiping Sawyer's doodoo."
"Your such a pansy ass." -she sits down on the lounge chair and unzips her jeans- "I need a little breathing room!" -takes a sip of beer-. "Who decided to name the fart Sawyer anyways? What a dumbass name!"
"You did, sweetheart."
"Pass me the pretzels." She barked.
He did as told.
"You know, darling, I'm starting to feel a little strange about our baby. It has dark brown hair and brown eyes..."
"Well there's only like a 12% chance its yours, anyways."
"What?" Luke said, with a girly gasp.
"Duh. You think I'd just stick with you and your distorted chin. HELL NO! I need some freaking variety."
"Soo... this isn't my baby?"
"nahhh. Probably Julian's, Jake's, or Owen's. Those are the dudes I slept with that had brown hair."
"But, Peyton-"
"Pass me the chips."
"I will not pass you the chips!"
"I WANT THE FREAKING CHIPS!"
NO CHIPS UNTIL WE FIND OUT WHOS BABY THIS IS!"
"Bahhh. Fine. But only cuz I want my chips."
"I don't understand how you can eat like a fat lard and only be 72 pounds."
"Shut up."
-at the clinic-
"We have the results!"
"Thank you, doctor. Please tell me- is that my baby?"
"I'm afraid not, Mr. Scott. The DNA matches up to a Peter Griffin."
"WHAT?!"
"Yes, it says right here."
"but, thats a cartoon character. Its not-"
"You can't question the data. Now go run along." The doctor handed him a lolipop and Luke goes sulking off.
"Bullocks, Peyton!"
"Don't use a british accent."
"Well what are we gonna do? This thing isn't my freaking baby! Its half cartoon!"
"Well fine by me. I don't even like you anyway."
"Good!"
Luke marches off.
-at Brooke's house-.
Rings doorbell.
"Hello?"
"Lucas! Oh my god what a surprise! What are you doing here?"
"Peyton and I broke up."
"Oh I'm sorry."
"What about you and Julian? You still together?"
"No. He cheated on me with Marge Simpson."
"WTF? A cartoon character?!"
"Yeah we aren't together anymore."
"Look, Brooke. My marriage with Peyton has been nothing but torture- and the whole time all I could think about was making out with you. Take me back?"
"I'm not that easy to persuade. You have a gross chin and I'm an attractive, successful fashion designer."
"But I LOVE you!"
"Well I suppose I could give you another shot."
The. End.
Yeah.
Here we go :)
-----------------
Umm yeah.
So about a year has passed since leyton gave birth to their child and were married.
Brooke is out being a hot sexy fashion designer, and Luke is a fugly stay at home dad.
"Yo Luke you gonna fry me up some chicken? I'm hungry."
"In a moment dear, I'm wiping Sawyer's doodoo."
"Your such a pansy ass." -she sits down on the lounge chair and unzips her jeans- "I need a little breathing room!" -takes a sip of beer-. "Who decided to name the fart Sawyer anyways? What a dumbass name!"
"You did, sweetheart."
"Pass me the pretzels." She barked.
He did as told.
"You know, darling, I'm starting to feel a little strange about our baby. It has dark brown hair and brown eyes..."
"Well there's only like a 12% chance its yours, anyways."
"What?" Luke said, with a girly gasp.
"Duh. You think I'd just stick with you and your distorted chin. HELL NO! I need some freaking variety."
"Soo... this isn't my baby?"
"nahhh. Probably Julian's, Jake's, or Owen's. Those are the dudes I slept with that had brown hair."
"But, Peyton-"
"Pass me the chips."
"I will not pass you the chips!"
"I WANT THE FREAKING CHIPS!"
NO CHIPS UNTIL WE FIND OUT WHOS BABY THIS IS!"
"Bahhh. Fine. But only cuz I want my chips."
"I don't understand how you can eat like a fat lard and only be 72 pounds."
"Shut up."
-at the clinic-
"We have the results!"
"Thank you, doctor. Please tell me- is that my baby?"
"I'm afraid not, Mr. Scott. The DNA matches up to a Peter Griffin."
"WHAT?!"
"Yes, it says right here."
"but, thats a cartoon character. Its not-"
"You can't question the data. Now go run along." The doctor handed him a lolipop and Luke goes sulking off.
"Bullocks, Peyton!"
"Don't use a british accent."
"Well what are we gonna do? This thing isn't my freaking baby! Its half cartoon!"
"Well fine by me. I don't even like you anyway."
"Good!"
Luke marches off.
-at Brooke's house-.
Rings doorbell.
"Hello?"
"Lucas! Oh my god what a surprise! What are you doing here?"
"Peyton and I broke up."
"Oh I'm sorry."
"What about you and Julian? You still together?"
"No. He cheated on me with Marge Simpson."
"WTF? A cartoon character?!"
"Yeah we aren't together anymore."
"Look, Brooke. My marriage with Peyton has been nothing but torture- and the whole time all I could think about was making out with you. Take me back?"
"I'm not that easy to persuade. You have a gross chin and I'm an attractive, successful fashion designer."
"But I LOVE you!"
"Well I suppose I could give you another shot."
The. End.
