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posted by Canada24
#1:
Pagan Min: I distinctly remember saying, "Stop the bus." Not "shoot the bus." "*Stop* the bus." I'm very particular with my words. "Stop." "Shoot." "Stop." "Shoot." Do those words sound the same?
Officer: But it got out of control...
Pagan Min: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say?
Officer: It got out of control.
Pagan Min: "Got out of control." I hate when things get out of control.
[stabs the soldier with a pen, throws him to the ground and continues stabbing him]
Pagan Min: (while stabbing him) You had one fucking job and you couldn't fucking do that!
[sits]
Pagan Min: And I got blood all over my fucking shoes!
[turns to Ajay]
Pagan Min: At least there's a silver lining. You didn't completely fuck it up.
[helps Ajay up]
Pagan Min: Get up, boy. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere...
[hugs him]
Pagan Min: I'm so sorry about this. This was supposed to be... well, *not this*. We have a party waiting for you, but I don't think I know your name.
[squats by Darpan]
Pagan Min: Who is this? Hmm? Is this your plus-one?
[turns back]
Pagan Min: Strong silent type. I like it.
[stands]
Pagan Min: I am terribly sorry about all this. This was supposed to be very simple, but you know if you give food to monkeys, they just throw their shit at each other.
[holds out the bloody pen]
Pagan Min: Oh, would you hold this?
[Ajay takes it]
Pagan Min: Just a moment... I want to get a little...
[pulls out a camera]
Pagan Min: picture. Right into the camera, there we are.
[takes photo, then looks at it]
Pagan Min: Awesome. Don't worry about a thing, boy. This will soon be behind us and we'll be off on our grand adventure.
[walks to his helicopter]
Pagan Min: Because I have cleared my calendar for you! You and I are gonna TEAR SHIT UP!


#2:
Pagan Min: [over radio] Uncle Pagan here, just checking in on my favorite nephew. So tell me, Ajay, who are you rooting for so far? Have you fallen into Amita's honey pot, or have you been dazzled by Sabal's flowing locks and bad-boy jawline? Hey, each to his own. That's your lifestyle choice to make. He isn't my cup of tea, contrary to the rash assumption some may make about my appearance. I am indeed batting for the other team. You, more than most, should know that there was only ever one woman for me, my boy..


#3:
Pegan: (stabs fork into a guy he saw texting at diner).. These terriests ruin, everything... Like dinner... Didn't anybody tell you it's rude to text at dinner... Let me see the phone.. (to guards) Really? We aren't checking for these... Check this out boys. a "text" for help... You don't text for help.. You CALL for help.... Get up, you gonna do something your do it it RIGHT... (gets up them up). say it!
Man: (weakly) Help...
Pegan min: Pethatic... louder!
an: Help.
Pegan Min: FROM YOUR GUT BOY! SCREAM IT!!
Man: HEEEELP!!
Pegan: Shh, shh.. Now we listen... Nothing... You see boy.. Nobody's coming.


#4:
Pegan Min: Heello.. Did we enjoy our time with CIA?.. Welcome to Deguise.. I apologize for the Spartan accomdiantons.. But you have been a naughty little shit haven't you?.. Galavanting about with the Golden Path... And poor Paul. Are you still sure of what he did with your, monkey friend?


#5:
Pagan Min: [over radio] Ajay, I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of having a new suit made up for you. If you are to lead Kyrat when this is all over, you're going to need a sharper look than denims and fucking sneakers, my boy. And that jacket. Oh, don't get me started. Why on Earth do you need so many zippered pockets? What do you keep in them all? Handfuls of meat? Huh, I suppose you do. I'll make a note for my tailor: "Ajay's jacket, zippered meat pockets." Perfect. Well, don't let me slow you down.


#6:
Pegan Min: Now, before we begin... ah... to whom am I speaking? Hm? The son who returned to scatter his mother's ashes, or the lunatic who has murdered his way to the top of my mountain?


#7:
Pegan Min: I'm sure your be all be happy to know, the humors of my death are entirely FALSE... I am alive, and all is right in the world.


#8:
Pegan min: I went in there only once, as a sane man, and I came out...well, I came out like this.


#9:
Pegan Min: Way I see I see it..You can either shoot me.. Boring.. Or enjoy some nice dinner.


#10:
AJ: Fuck you.
Pegan Min: Oh wow, you didn't even blink boy
Grand Theft Auto has become one of the best selling games ever made, selling literally millions of copies and more than games like Modern Warfare, Skyrim, Ocarina of Time, and even getting one up over Super Mario Bros. It just goes to show that children really do give more of a shit about GTA than Nintendo’s icon. But we’re not here to talk about GTA…. okay, we are, but not positively. We’re here to talk about the most hated characters in the game. Yeah, being in the criminal underworld for five games and eight other ones with no numbers in it, you're bound to run into at least one...
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added by Canada24
video
tatro
1:
QUESTION: How do you hide a boner?
ANSWER: You get a girl to hide it in

2:
QUESTION: Is lion king based on a true story?
ANSWER: Yes cause I know LOTS of talking lions

3:
QUESTION: Is is normal to be in love with your dog?
ANSWER: You need to see a therapist

4:
QUESTION: What's a fun site for 13 year old girls?
ANSWER: Redtube..

(redtube is porn site.. don't ask me how I know that)

5:
QUESTION: How did the cow milking routine get started?
ANSWER: I'm guessing there was a cow molester..

6:
QUESTION: How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
ANSWER: Lord help this woman

7:
QUESTION: How do I become sarcastic?...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin with the intro

Theme song: link

Japanese Men: *Singing* My Rittre Pornstar. My Rittre Pornstar. Ah ah ah ah, My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: I used to wonder what friendship could be.
Japanese Men: My Rittre Pornstar.
Twilight: Then I found out it was for faggots.
Rainbow Dash: I think I can.
Pinkie Pie: I'm German!
Rarity:...
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posted by Canada24
Last chapter for the night.. It does contain one of my biggest "don't fuck with Johnny K!" moments...

-------------------------------------------------------------------


Johnny follows the compass, and before long it points to a waterfall, once at the location, he sees Buck again.

"Y -You put a tracker on me didn't you~!?" Johnny cried, offically creeped out.

"Hey, your my favorite pupil" Buck said, getting closer, Johnny holds him back.

"Hey, keep away from me!" Johnny said, showing that this point Johnny is actually kinda frightened of Buck's ability of always appearing. It's almost supernatural....
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So Scootaloo, the little orange filly with purple hair and eyes is seen riding the school bus with Sweetie Belle and AppleBloom. The sisters of Rarity and AppleJack. AppleBloom is yellow with ginger hair. Swwetie Belle is white with green eyes, her hair is a little harder to describe.

Anyway, suddenly the bus falls out of control and crashes into a truck. Scootaloo wakes up screaming. Revealed to be on Rarty's couch. As AppleBloom likely had the guest bedroom. Why they slept at Rarity's is anyone's guess, besides there friendship to Belle.

At breakfast Scootaloo is seen shaking at the breakfast...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Twilight was giving a lecture to everypony.

Twilight: Okay y'all. I'm the most important pony in this shithole of a town, and you know it. The fact that-
Pinkie Pie: *Running towards Twilight* Herr Kommandant!! Herr Kommandant!!
Twilight: Man, I'm in da middle of an important lecture!! Everypony wants to hear dis!...
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posted by Canada24
So I have gotten a request from WindWaker430.. Review Adam Standler movies..

Well, least he's not making me watch Sebian Film again..

I suppose I could do this.. I like Adam Standler.. And thankfully, I don't have to review 12 Crazy Nights. Wind is gonna do that one.. Cause if I have to sit though 12 Angry Nights. Than deal off..



I still remember Grown Ups when first came out.. When I saw Adam Standler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, and David Spade, all in the cover. I was excited.. Not ironically.. I really was excited to see this movie.

So of coarse, my only reason to see that movie was to...
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#1: THE RING ITSELF:
He/She seems to have a personality of it's own.
It corrupts you. you want it even if you don't know why.
This is best shown in the beginning of Return of the King, when Smeagul and his cousin became immediately hostile towards each other..


#2: MURDOR:
The way Boromir describes it to the Council of Elrond. Despite inspiring one of the most classic memes..


#3:
The shot from the prologue of the men who will become the Nazgul, each holding a ring and standing in almost robotic uniformity, in contrast to the natural movements of the elves and the dwarves in the previous shots. And...
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Spoiler review..

So this has to be one of the most famish ghost movies I could think of..

I wish I could go into this not knowing the twist.. But I been "Bruce Willis was dead all along" for my entire life.. As well as "I see dead people" memes..

But fact is. This movie really is "that good".

Bruce Willis has been known for the action films lke DIE HARD, at the time. He never did such a quite role.. But it really was some of the best acting I seen from Willis.. Just like Mel Gibson in Signs.. Which I still don't get why everyone hates that movie.. Espically after Chris Stuckmann's review..

Anyway.....
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posted by Canada24
I read my article POOR SQUIDWARD.. And doing this to show his brief moments of epicness

TOP EIGHT AWESOME SQUIDWARD MOMENTS

#1: PIZZA DELIVERY:
SpongeBob finally got the pizza to the customer, who proceeds to bitch and scream about how they didn't bring him a drink (which he totally didn't order) and refuses to take the pizza. SpongeBob returns to Squidward in hysterical tears, and Squidward — who, mind you, despises SpongeBob — goes back to the customer..
Customer: Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't payin' for that!
Squidward: Well, this one's on the HOUSE! (slams pizza box...
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posted by Canada24
#1: ROY EARLE - LA NOIRE:
Earle has little respect for others. This is evident from various racist and misogynistic remarks that he makes throughout the game.

Earle is also an opportunist. He stole a roll of money worth $1,000 which was actually evidence, after claiming "the department owed him fifty," when the department only owed him $20. He also evidently took bribes and had a personal stake in the fixed boxing match between Albert Hammond and Kid Galahad. He also tells Phelps in The Black Caesar that he wanted to wrap up the case before he had to actually work overtime instead of just claiming...
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I thought I had more... But it's been so damn long..


#1: SLAPPY:

Funny that I was never scared of Slappy back in the day. Looking baxk. He's so perfect a villain., Episcally the episode where he's trying to make everyone think the girl has gone crazy, so nobody believes her. Why? As RL stines "Slappy is the dummy who ironically ain't no dummy". Maniplative, sadistic, and controlling.. Slappy may not look muxh, but he kind of a evil genius.. But he is also so fun to watch. He always a dark verison of comic relief. Even though most of it may not be that funny, but what do you expect from...
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#1: THE MYSTERIOUS MAN:
The strange man doesn't seem to be entirely human. He knows a startling amount of John's personal history despite John having no recollection of ever meeting him in the past, and John repeatedly asks who he is, and how he knows John, but the man always avoids the question. In his last encounter with John, he is seen standing by a tree overlooking John's ranch at Beecher's Hope. He cryptically tells John that it's "a beautiful spot". In the Playable Epilogue, it's the excat spot that John, Abigail, and Uncle are buried after the US Army's attack on the ranch.
And even...
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1:
Out of all of the Stranger missions, the happiest one has you reunite a zoophile with his favorite horse. Almost all of them are grim and depressing, and when you do the "right" thing, you often end up making people's lives worse. You give Jenny some medicine but she doesn't go with you to town, is left wondering around forever. The guy who you helped make his flying mechine only ends up dying. And Sam slowly loses his mind in his journey to California.


#2:
Birth of the Conservation Movement. You've just killed all but one of the peaceful Sasquatch, and the last one is distraught and begging...
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#5: BRIAN JEREMY:
He has a pretty childish way of agreeing on everything Billy says and does, and once imitated Johnny in a pretty immature way. He's willing to lie, kiss ass, and stab people in the back if it means saving his own skin. And even if you spare him, he later tries to kill you anyway..


#4: JASON MICHAELS:
Yes Jason, keep fucking a Russian Mobster's daughter, and stealing man's expensive vodka. Clearly nothing bad is gonna come from that. Especially when your fully aware of how angry it's making him..


#3: ASHLEY BUTLER:
Her addiction means she'll sleep with anyone to get the next fix,...
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~Personal Information~
-Canada’s birthday is February 11th, 1994, a few days before Valentines.. Not that Valentines day actually MATTERS.
-His’s real name is Connor, but is sometimes called Cons by his friends.. His name Canada24, was originally a inside joke amongst himself, as CANADA24 is his password for anything that EVER needed a password..
-Connor was born a christian. But he doesn't believe very much in Jesus.. Well, at least not the part about him being the son of God.. But he believes the painful death on the cross.. Humans are animals.
-Connor has both Irish blood, french blood.....
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#1: FRIDAY THE 13th, ORGINAL:
I just don't get how THAT gave us Jason Voorhees.. It's so stupid.


#2: KILL BILL:
It's weird.. I just always found this movie TOO action-y.. I don't know if it's Uma Thurman.. The over acting.. The subtitles.. Or just that I had to sit though it over a thousand times..
Either way.. I'll put this movie lower on this, but it's the quickest I could think of.


#3: SAW 3D:
This is when the series became that torture porn you THINK the series started as.. It's stupid.. The movie is stupid.


#4: RESIDENT EVIL:
No thank you..


#5: REVENANT:
Let me clarify.. I DO like this movie.. But I mainly just watch the first half, rarely the second half.
But still.. Leonardo literary had to eat raw meat, crawl in the snow, and get ravaged by a CGI grizzly, to finally get that damn oscar..
Well.. Shit.. This is what my life has come to.

Reviewing one of the most, sadistic, mean spirited, shit your pants, scary, films ever made..

This film has NO limits.. They legit murdered real animals, cause the diractor is a sadist.. So much so, that he, no joke, was actually arrested and had to prove to a court room that it's only a movie, and that his actors are all fine.

So yeah.. You can all keep watching your Blair Witch Project.. You can keep believing that to be real.. But least nobody got arrested for that one.

Next time someone says "found footage was NEVER scary", maybe so them this...
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