It was said voted by the only person I knew would vote or care.. so here it is.. The story is very along all together, and techinally still being made.. So this will be in more than one article:
This is techinally the first Seras was used as a character, and it's the story that inspired me to keep using her in other ones.. Alucard so far is "only" in Demons though...
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I'll start with a seperate MLP story I once did, which ended up involving Brutaloo, who becomes a villain this story.. Plus Liz had a minor role in... I managed to save all Brutaloo's scenes before deleting the orginal story.
She was always meant to be very "love to hate". And it's always entertaining whenever she shows up.. Even though it's not much.
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Blastic "Brutaloo" Blamber, after escaping jail and kidnapping James Hetfield of Metallica arrives in ponyville. She bumps into in Lyra Armstrong, who asks if Scootaloo had gotten taller. As Brutaloo is a demon who takes the former of a taller, older, creepier verison of little Scooty.
"Yes.. I'm Scootaloo.. And I'm taller"
Lyra strangely finds nothing suspicious about this, and says she's returning a book to Scootaloo and puts in on the demon's back.
Brutaloo: (jump scare based demonic roar and scary face)
Lyra: AHH!
Brutaloo (calmly): Thanks for that.
Lyra (shaking): Holly shi-.. Well, I.. Better get going.
Brutaloo: Me two.. Which way do I live again?
Lyra: (points to Scootaloo's house).
Brutaloo: Thanks.. (heads there) Bye bye.
Lyra: ... Must be her time of the month.
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Scootaloo herself, who's probably around 8 years old, it's never stated comes outside is seen playing outsidde. Her parents are never seen in the show. But she does have ones.
Brutaloo approaches her. Brutaloo strangely starts flirting with her, despite Brutaloo's young age, implying Blasic Blamber is a possible pedaphile. Scootaloo is understandly creeped out.
Scootaloo: Sure.. Hang on.. (calls mom) MOM! THERE'S SOME CREEP OUT HERE! MAKE HER GO AWA-
Brutaloo chloroforms her.
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Scooty wakes up, tied in a basement by Blastic "Brutaloo" Blamver, and a very reluntante James Hetfield.
Brutaloo monologues about having been watching Scooty, and that the filly has a better life than her. And that for once, Blastic's chosen form can have a purpose.
Scootaloo demands to be released, and that Blastic won't get away with this. But Brutaloo tells her not to waste her breath. And says "besides, if I let you go your just tell the cops that I kidnapped you, held you hostsge, and fondled you in your sleep."
Scoot: Wait, what?
Brutaloo: Your tell them that when you asleep did things to you that you don't remember.
Scoot: I -I don't think I like that.
Brutaloo: Well it's done.
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Brutaloo tries her best to play Scootaloo, but she proves not to be as smart as she may seem. She didn't study Scootaloo's behaviors, and is rude to most everyone, and when Pinkie Pie asks Brutaloo for help with some Algebra, Brutaloo becomes unbelievably angry at how difficult the questions are, and swears up a storm. Better yet. Brutaloo loses her cool and enlarges herself into a true demon creature
"ALGEBRA! YOU CAN SUCK, MY, BALLS!" The demon verison shouts to the paper. Declaring it an 'enemy'.
After Blastic cools off, the character Pinkie figures out the problem, with the answer being 666, number of the beast.
Brutaloo, being a demon herself, freaks out again and turns into a giant bird, flyng off with Pinkie Pie.
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SEVERAL DAYS LATER:
James Hetfield (guarding that empty house) (playing gutar): On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha. You can listen to the engine moanin' out hi-
Rainbow Dash and Rarity arrive on the front yard. James pulls out a SNS Pistol he had with him, warning the girls away. But Rainbow posses them as two fans who want a tour. James agrees and puts his pistol on his kitchen counter. Giving them a tour. But Dash breaks apart and finds Scootaloo held in the basement.
James tackles her and holds a knife on her, saying he has no choice but kill the witness or Blastic Blamber (Brutaloo) will do bad things to him and prepares to stab her. But a rain of bullets rang out. All being badly aimed, but thankfully one of them hits though his head, killing him.
Rarity (holding Jame's pistol, and panicking as this marked her first kill): OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY! HAD THIS GUN! HE HAD KNIFE! I.. I..
Rainbow: It's okay.. Lets get Scootaloo and get out of here. And he was evil anyway.
Rarity: Yeah, James Hetfield evil.. Who knew... (throws down the gun, as she unloaded all the bullets from her clear lack of gun training).
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The rest of the team head off to go find Pinkie. But unexpectedly Brutaloo willingly returns Pinkie herself. When asked why, we are treated to a flashback.
BRUTALOO'S LAIR:
Pinkie: (in Brutaloo's grip, constantly talking, as she looks visably annoyed).
Brutaloo Narrating: I only had her for thirty seconds, and it's parties this, and smiles that. Why, not giving her back is a fate worse than death!
END CUTAWAY:
Brutaloo: Shee's YOUR problem now!
Suddenly Rarity and RD arrive with Scootaloo. Rarity saying they had to kill James. Brutaloo gets upset saying he was her friend, even though she kidnapped him and killed the other members of Metallica for not playing the songs Brutaloo liked.
Rarity ends up calling Brutaloo "crazy" which triggers Brutaloo's bezerk button, and she attempts to destory all of equestria in a DBZ like bomb. But suddenly Liz from the sky. She presses a trigger and Brutaloo gets tasered by a swtch Liz put on her to keep Brutaloo under control.
Liz: I told you Blastic, this is a wreckless and irresponsible use of your powers.
Rarty: She's just crazy.
Brutaloo: (charges at her) WHY YOU LIT- (Liz tazes her again).
Scootaloo: Let me try! (grabs switch, doubling the power) This is for kidnapping me!
Brutaloo: AHHHHHHH!
Liz: Enough, your kill her (grabs switch)
Scootaloo: Goooood.
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12 YEARS EARLIER:
Somehow after the events of Hellsing Utimate Lord Alucard somehow left control of Sir Intraga.. This does make the timeline of Hellsing complex, so try to ignore all that.
In this universe Alucard is a demon vampire, not just a vampire. Which makes a lot of sense considering how truly powerful he is.. Seriously, the dude is immortal despite claiming that he isn't.
He's nearly a level 10 demon.. Which, again, makes a lot of sense.
As commonly seen among vampires, Alucard possesses blood red eyes, which may glow when he is experiencing strong emotions. His hair length changes according to his release states from short to knee length. His usual outfit is comprised of a charcoal suit, leather riding boots, and an intricately knotted red cravat, covered by a full-length, and red frock overcoat (similar to a duster coat) with a cape. He also occasionally wears a red fedora with a wide, floppy brim and a pair of circular, heavily tinted, wire-framed orange sunglasses with goggle sidings. He also wears a pair of white gloves which each have a five-pointed seal adorning their backs. It appears that his clothing is part of his physical form due to the fact that when he regenerates, his clothing also repairs itself.
He appears in the same clothes that Sir Hellsing wore when he defeated Alucard when he was still Dracula. This is seen when Alucard has his flashback/nightmare.
Anyway he ran into a humanized demon Verona. Like Alucard himself she and her daughter Liz are older than they look. But both seem to wear lingerie like outfits, which I guess is a style. Not sure.
They both have green eyes and black hair.. At least in my verison they do.
But Verona's not actually that powerful, and she is being held down a by a evil demon, seemingly far more powerful than her.. Not serprising.. She's actually one of the weaker demon. Even Liz is more powerful than her.
In this universe there are two kinds of demons. Ones from hell.. And ones like Verona, that are guardian angels.. And they live in a odd world that I'm not sure excatly how to explain. But I like to assume the house is sort of cave like. But actually really nice inside.
Suddenly Alucard happens by at peer concidence. And he's mistaken for someone there to save Verona.
"Your too late to save her!" The unnamed demon cried arrogantly.
'Neat" Alucard said, unphased.
"But first.. I'm gonna kill YOU!" The demon cried.
"Ohh? See that WOULD be intimidating, if you were.. Well, intimidating" Alucard chuckled.
"Grr, are you mocking me!?" The demon cried angrily.
"Oh no, no, no no no no... Pffft, yeah." Alucard laughed, and with that he shoots the demon though the head. The demon's head explodes aparn impact. And is dead.
"But how.. How did you kill a demon with a gun!?"
"It's no NORMAL bullets.. It's silver cross melted exploding shells with blessed powder.. Demon or not.. Nothing I shoot ever gets up, again" Alucard smirked.
"So what are you doing here?" Verona asked.
"The usual.. I took one of my enthusiastic walks" Alucard.
"And kill fallen angels?" Verona asked.
"VERY enthusiastic walks" Alucard said.
"Hold on.. You must be the great Alucard, from Hellsing.. I knew I reconsized you from somewhere.I've heard quite a lot about you." Verona said.
"Oh really?"
"Count Dracula.. The night walker.. Wh-"
"Yeah, yeah, we all know the stories. What do you want girly?" Alucard groaned.
"Well... I want you to protect me.. I made a lot of powerful enemies." Verona said.
"Lord Alucard is no body guard!... Anymore." Alucard cried.
"But it's not very different than your Hellsing job.. Your hired to kill evil demonic creatures to protect me and my daughter Liz.. Along with the world itself sometimes"
"Fine.. Only cause your cute." Alucard said.
Andso began the partnership. Later a romance.
It's unknown how why they started dating later. But are confirmed a couple.
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CURRENT DAY:
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Evil Demon: (destroying a a unknown town for reasons that aren't justified, or even know) MWAHAHAHA! NOBODY CAN MATCH THE POWER OF AAMON!
Alucard: (calmly appears out of wall) I won't be so sure of that, Aamon.
Aamon: A vampire!? (laughs) Please, I eat vampires for breakfast.
Alucard: Not just any old vampire here.. I am a DEMON vampire.. And "you" sir, have been a naughty little bitch, haven't you?.. Afriad I have to put you into purgatory.. Well.. Parts of you.
Aamon: HAHAHA! You cannot scar-
Alucard: Shhhhh.. You hear that?
Aamon: I don't hear-
Alucard: *shoots him in the head without even raising his gun* Must have been the wind.
AAMON: AHH, GOD! THAT HURT!
Alucard: Your lucky that wasn't one of my "special" bullets, just a normal one
Aamon: HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!
Alucard: Yes, but most of them are dead.
Aamon: Well, your a prick.
Alucard: Too bad I don't get offended by a man who never existed.
Aamon: But I'm right her- Ohhhhh
Alucard: Any last words.
Aamon: WAIT!.. WE CAN WORK TOGETHER!
Alucard: So.. I see you for what you really are!.. And you dare to call yourself a demon!?.. YOU DISGUEST ME!
Aamon: But-
Alucard: (releases his giant hellhound) Get him boy.
Aamon: NO PLE- (gets violently eaten).
Alucard: (calmly) I wonder why the sky is blue.. Weird.
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Alucard (returns to the cave or whatever it is): There boss.. The dirty deed is done.
Verona: Good, but we have another problem.. Brutaloo escaped, we need to stop he-
Alucard: Liz is on it.
Verona: You sent my daughter!?
Alucard: I tried to stop her. But she was clever.. She took advantage of my complete lack of actual careness.
Verona: Vlad, I hire you to be my bodyguard and you can't eve-
Liz: (teleports in) Got her
Brutaloo: Yes, yes, I'll go back.. Just stop tasering me.
Liz: No promises.
Brutaloo: Damn you.
Alucard: There, everything worked out.. I'm going for a walk.
Verona: Oh no your not.. Your last "walk" involved burning down a church.
Alucard: Well next time, don't advertise blood, and have it be just wine.
Verona: Alucard, I can't have you causing another scene!
Alucard: Ohh, what you gonna do? Call that guy that can stop me?.. What was his name.. Michael mc-doesn't-excist.
Verona: ... I'll give you a raise.
Alucard: And a new gun
Verona: Fine, a new gun.
Alucard: And flash your boobs!
Verona: Excuse m-
Alucard: Kidding.. I already x-rayed though your clothes.
Verona: FUCK YOU!
Alucard: I would, but I'm tired.. (turns into bat form and sleeps on the roof).
Verona: ... That man is gonna be the death of me.
Liz: Least he keeps us safe.
Verona: I guess.
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MEANWHILE - LITERARY IN HELL:
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Satan: Okay, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?
Freddy Krueger: Do instruments of torture count?
Satan: No.
Adolf Hitlar: Is mayonase an instrument?
Satan (annoyed): No Adolf, mayonase is not an instrument.
Hitler: ... *raises hand*
Satan: Horseradish is not an instrument either.
Hitlar lowers his hand.
Satan: That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.
[Satan laughs. Everyone stays silent.]
Micah Bell: When do we get the free food?
Ganger (A former stalker of Liz): And when do I get to bang Liz?
Satan: Can we just practice? I want to show that goodtooshoes, Jesus, that I am finally good at something.. Okay, try to repeat after me. [plays six notes] Brass section, go. [brass section repeats, badly, but good for first timers] Good. Now the wind. [wind section repeats, same] And the drums!
[drummers misunderstand what Satan means, so they blow on their sticks which blow out and stick Satan to the wall]
Satan (dryly): Too bad that didn't kill me.
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Satan: Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.
Deadpool (in Hell for some reason, he's not even dead): Is this the part where we start kicking?!
Satan: No Wade, that's a chorus line.
Hitlar: Kicking?! I wanna do some kicking! [kicks Mich in the leg]
Micah: Ow! Why, you... [jumps on Hitlar, and a fight cloud appears and roll outside and the doors slam shut]
Hitlar: [Makes a very long painful scream.]
[Everyone pauses and stare at the door, then Hitlar sticks his head back in]
Hitlar: Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on. [walks in and it is revealed that Micah Bell has stuck his body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as he walks towards his seat. As he sits down, he makes a sound on his trombone. Makes a loud trombone noise as he opens his mouth.]
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The band's walking down a street playing Semper Fidelis.
Satan: Perfect! Just like that! Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers, let's move! C'MON MOVE!
(The flag twirlers spin so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a blimp, which causes an explosion.)
Micah: (plays "Taps" on trumpet)
Satan: (sighs in annoyance).
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Satan: Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began… (Hitlar chews on a trumpet) … But I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?
Sgt Hartman (Full Metal Jacket): CORRECT!!!
Satan: So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! (windows break as they make a piercing noise with their contact band instruments)
Satan: ... Ok, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.
Demon: Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try playing with stupid mustaches!
Hitlar: What did you say, punk!?
Demon: You heard me! Mustache boy!
Hitlar: Bring it on man! Bring it on!
Deadpool (voiced by Ryan Reynolds): No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off.
Ganger: Oh, so now cancer head is going to preach to us!
Satan: Wait, wait. (everyone is arguing) I know tempers are high.
Fight cloud, everyone begins smashing each other with intruments.
Satan: There's a deposit on the equipment, people!
Freddy and Deadpool charge at each other with flutes.
They squeece to stop, extra large demon smshes them both with cymbals.
Satan: Settle down, please!
Micah (fighting Freddy Krueger): AHH! (uses flag twirlers txylophone to break the Freddy's Xylophone, chasing him away).
Micah smirks.
Hitlar: (comes over, kicks Micah).
Micah: GRRR! (pulls out Trumpet with evil smile).
Hitlar: (flees) AHHHH! (Micah chases him).
Clock strikes 10 PM, everyone stops and looks. Micah strangling Hitlar. Deadpool grabbing Ganger's shirt. And Freddy biting a demon's leg.
Ganger: Hey, class is over! (they all stop fighting anf become friendly to each other as they head towards the door, Satan blocks it).
Satan: Well, you did it. You took my one chance of happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks, thanks for nothing. (leaves).
Hitlar: You're welcome.
Deadpool: What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him. Saten's always been there for us when it was convenient for him.
Deadpool: Freddy, who gave you all those kids to kill?
Freddy: Wes Craven.
Deadpool: And Larry, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?
Demon: Some guy in an ambulance.
Deadpool: Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Satan was Wes Craven. Or. Some guy in an ambulance. Than I think we can all know how it truly feels.. To be in a marching band.
Micah: Yeah for the movie guy!
All: Hooray!
Deadpool: Now let's make boss man proud.. A 1, a 2, a skiddleydiddleydoo!
This is techinally the first Seras was used as a character, and it's the story that inspired me to keep using her in other ones.. Alucard so far is "only" in Demons though...
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I'll start with a seperate MLP story I once did, which ended up involving Brutaloo, who becomes a villain this story.. Plus Liz had a minor role in... I managed to save all Brutaloo's scenes before deleting the orginal story.
She was always meant to be very "love to hate". And it's always entertaining whenever she shows up.. Even though it's not much.
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Blastic "Brutaloo" Blamber, after escaping jail and kidnapping James Hetfield of Metallica arrives in ponyville. She bumps into in Lyra Armstrong, who asks if Scootaloo had gotten taller. As Brutaloo is a demon who takes the former of a taller, older, creepier verison of little Scooty.
"Yes.. I'm Scootaloo.. And I'm taller"
Lyra strangely finds nothing suspicious about this, and says she's returning a book to Scootaloo and puts in on the demon's back.
Brutaloo: (jump scare based demonic roar and scary face)
Lyra: AHH!
Brutaloo (calmly): Thanks for that.
Lyra (shaking): Holly shi-.. Well, I.. Better get going.
Brutaloo: Me two.. Which way do I live again?
Lyra: (points to Scootaloo's house).
Brutaloo: Thanks.. (heads there) Bye bye.
Lyra: ... Must be her time of the month.
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Scootaloo herself, who's probably around 8 years old, it's never stated comes outside is seen playing outsidde. Her parents are never seen in the show. But she does have ones.
Brutaloo approaches her. Brutaloo strangely starts flirting with her, despite Brutaloo's young age, implying Blasic Blamber is a possible pedaphile. Scootaloo is understandly creeped out.
Scootaloo: Sure.. Hang on.. (calls mom) MOM! THERE'S SOME CREEP OUT HERE! MAKE HER GO AWA-
Brutaloo chloroforms her.
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Scooty wakes up, tied in a basement by Blastic "Brutaloo" Blamver, and a very reluntante James Hetfield.
Brutaloo monologues about having been watching Scooty, and that the filly has a better life than her. And that for once, Blastic's chosen form can have a purpose.
Scootaloo demands to be released, and that Blastic won't get away with this. But Brutaloo tells her not to waste her breath. And says "besides, if I let you go your just tell the cops that I kidnapped you, held you hostsge, and fondled you in your sleep."
Scoot: Wait, what?
Brutaloo: Your tell them that when you asleep did things to you that you don't remember.
Scoot: I -I don't think I like that.
Brutaloo: Well it's done.
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Brutaloo tries her best to play Scootaloo, but she proves not to be as smart as she may seem. She didn't study Scootaloo's behaviors, and is rude to most everyone, and when Pinkie Pie asks Brutaloo for help with some Algebra, Brutaloo becomes unbelievably angry at how difficult the questions are, and swears up a storm. Better yet. Brutaloo loses her cool and enlarges herself into a true demon creature
"ALGEBRA! YOU CAN SUCK, MY, BALLS!" The demon verison shouts to the paper. Declaring it an 'enemy'.
After Blastic cools off, the character Pinkie figures out the problem, with the answer being 666, number of the beast.
Brutaloo, being a demon herself, freaks out again and turns into a giant bird, flyng off with Pinkie Pie.
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SEVERAL DAYS LATER:
James Hetfield (guarding that empty house) (playing gutar): On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha. You can listen to the engine moanin' out hi-
Rainbow Dash and Rarity arrive on the front yard. James pulls out a SNS Pistol he had with him, warning the girls away. But Rainbow posses them as two fans who want a tour. James agrees and puts his pistol on his kitchen counter. Giving them a tour. But Dash breaks apart and finds Scootaloo held in the basement.
James tackles her and holds a knife on her, saying he has no choice but kill the witness or Blastic Blamber (Brutaloo) will do bad things to him and prepares to stab her. But a rain of bullets rang out. All being badly aimed, but thankfully one of them hits though his head, killing him.
Rarity (holding Jame's pistol, and panicking as this marked her first kill): OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY! HAD THIS GUN! HE HAD KNIFE! I.. I..
Rainbow: It's okay.. Lets get Scootaloo and get out of here. And he was evil anyway.
Rarity: Yeah, James Hetfield evil.. Who knew... (throws down the gun, as she unloaded all the bullets from her clear lack of gun training).
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The rest of the team head off to go find Pinkie. But unexpectedly Brutaloo willingly returns Pinkie herself. When asked why, we are treated to a flashback.
BRUTALOO'S LAIR:
Pinkie: (in Brutaloo's grip, constantly talking, as she looks visably annoyed).
Brutaloo Narrating: I only had her for thirty seconds, and it's parties this, and smiles that. Why, not giving her back is a fate worse than death!
END CUTAWAY:
Brutaloo: Shee's YOUR problem now!
Suddenly Rarity and RD arrive with Scootaloo. Rarity saying they had to kill James. Brutaloo gets upset saying he was her friend, even though she kidnapped him and killed the other members of Metallica for not playing the songs Brutaloo liked.
Rarity ends up calling Brutaloo "crazy" which triggers Brutaloo's bezerk button, and she attempts to destory all of equestria in a DBZ like bomb. But suddenly Liz from the sky. She presses a trigger and Brutaloo gets tasered by a swtch Liz put on her to keep Brutaloo under control.
Liz: I told you Blastic, this is a wreckless and irresponsible use of your powers.
Rarty: She's just crazy.
Brutaloo: (charges at her) WHY YOU LIT- (Liz tazes her again).
Scootaloo: Let me try! (grabs switch, doubling the power) This is for kidnapping me!
Brutaloo: AHHHHHHH!
Liz: Enough, your kill her (grabs switch)
Scootaloo: Goooood.
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12 YEARS EARLIER:
Somehow after the events of Hellsing Utimate Lord Alucard somehow left control of Sir Intraga.. This does make the timeline of Hellsing complex, so try to ignore all that.
In this universe Alucard is a demon vampire, not just a vampire. Which makes a lot of sense considering how truly powerful he is.. Seriously, the dude is immortal despite claiming that he isn't.
He's nearly a level 10 demon.. Which, again, makes a lot of sense.
As commonly seen among vampires, Alucard possesses blood red eyes, which may glow when he is experiencing strong emotions. His hair length changes according to his release states from short to knee length. His usual outfit is comprised of a charcoal suit, leather riding boots, and an intricately knotted red cravat, covered by a full-length, and red frock overcoat (similar to a duster coat) with a cape. He also occasionally wears a red fedora with a wide, floppy brim and a pair of circular, heavily tinted, wire-framed orange sunglasses with goggle sidings. He also wears a pair of white gloves which each have a five-pointed seal adorning their backs. It appears that his clothing is part of his physical form due to the fact that when he regenerates, his clothing also repairs itself.
He appears in the same clothes that Sir Hellsing wore when he defeated Alucard when he was still Dracula. This is seen when Alucard has his flashback/nightmare.
Anyway he ran into a humanized demon Verona. Like Alucard himself she and her daughter Liz are older than they look. But both seem to wear lingerie like outfits, which I guess is a style. Not sure.
They both have green eyes and black hair.. At least in my verison they do.
But Verona's not actually that powerful, and she is being held down a by a evil demon, seemingly far more powerful than her.. Not serprising.. She's actually one of the weaker demon. Even Liz is more powerful than her.
In this universe there are two kinds of demons. Ones from hell.. And ones like Verona, that are guardian angels.. And they live in a odd world that I'm not sure excatly how to explain. But I like to assume the house is sort of cave like. But actually really nice inside.
Suddenly Alucard happens by at peer concidence. And he's mistaken for someone there to save Verona.
"Your too late to save her!" The unnamed demon cried arrogantly.
'Neat" Alucard said, unphased.
"But first.. I'm gonna kill YOU!" The demon cried.
"Ohh? See that WOULD be intimidating, if you were.. Well, intimidating" Alucard chuckled.
"Grr, are you mocking me!?" The demon cried angrily.
"Oh no, no, no no no no... Pffft, yeah." Alucard laughed, and with that he shoots the demon though the head. The demon's head explodes aparn impact. And is dead.
"But how.. How did you kill a demon with a gun!?"
"It's no NORMAL bullets.. It's silver cross melted exploding shells with blessed powder.. Demon or not.. Nothing I shoot ever gets up, again" Alucard smirked.
"So what are you doing here?" Verona asked.
"The usual.. I took one of my enthusiastic walks" Alucard.
"And kill fallen angels?" Verona asked.
"VERY enthusiastic walks" Alucard said.
"Hold on.. You must be the great Alucard, from Hellsing.. I knew I reconsized you from somewhere.I've heard quite a lot about you." Verona said.
"Oh really?"
"Count Dracula.. The night walker.. Wh-"
"Yeah, yeah, we all know the stories. What do you want girly?" Alucard groaned.
"Well... I want you to protect me.. I made a lot of powerful enemies." Verona said.
"Lord Alucard is no body guard!... Anymore." Alucard cried.
"But it's not very different than your Hellsing job.. Your hired to kill evil demonic creatures to protect me and my daughter Liz.. Along with the world itself sometimes"
"Fine.. Only cause your cute." Alucard said.
Andso began the partnership. Later a romance.
It's unknown how why they started dating later. But are confirmed a couple.
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CURRENT DAY:
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Evil Demon: (destroying a a unknown town for reasons that aren't justified, or even know) MWAHAHAHA! NOBODY CAN MATCH THE POWER OF AAMON!
Alucard: (calmly appears out of wall) I won't be so sure of that, Aamon.
Aamon: A vampire!? (laughs) Please, I eat vampires for breakfast.
Alucard: Not just any old vampire here.. I am a DEMON vampire.. And "you" sir, have been a naughty little bitch, haven't you?.. Afriad I have to put you into purgatory.. Well.. Parts of you.
Aamon: HAHAHA! You cannot scar-
Alucard: Shhhhh.. You hear that?
Aamon: I don't hear-
Alucard: *shoots him in the head without even raising his gun* Must have been the wind.
AAMON: AHH, GOD! THAT HURT!
Alucard: Your lucky that wasn't one of my "special" bullets, just a normal one
Aamon: HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!
Alucard: Yes, but most of them are dead.
Aamon: Well, your a prick.
Alucard: Too bad I don't get offended by a man who never existed.
Aamon: But I'm right her- Ohhhhh
Alucard: Any last words.
Aamon: WAIT!.. WE CAN WORK TOGETHER!
Alucard: So.. I see you for what you really are!.. And you dare to call yourself a demon!?.. YOU DISGUEST ME!
Aamon: But-
Alucard: (releases his giant hellhound) Get him boy.
Aamon: NO PLE- (gets violently eaten).
Alucard: (calmly) I wonder why the sky is blue.. Weird.
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Alucard (returns to the cave or whatever it is): There boss.. The dirty deed is done.
Verona: Good, but we have another problem.. Brutaloo escaped, we need to stop he-
Alucard: Liz is on it.
Verona: You sent my daughter!?
Alucard: I tried to stop her. But she was clever.. She took advantage of my complete lack of actual careness.
Verona: Vlad, I hire you to be my bodyguard and you can't eve-
Liz: (teleports in) Got her
Brutaloo: Yes, yes, I'll go back.. Just stop tasering me.
Liz: No promises.
Brutaloo: Damn you.
Alucard: There, everything worked out.. I'm going for a walk.
Verona: Oh no your not.. Your last "walk" involved burning down a church.
Alucard: Well next time, don't advertise blood, and have it be just wine.
Verona: Alucard, I can't have you causing another scene!
Alucard: Ohh, what you gonna do? Call that guy that can stop me?.. What was his name.. Michael mc-doesn't-excist.
Verona: ... I'll give you a raise.
Alucard: And a new gun
Verona: Fine, a new gun.
Alucard: And flash your boobs!
Verona: Excuse m-
Alucard: Kidding.. I already x-rayed though your clothes.
Verona: FUCK YOU!
Alucard: I would, but I'm tired.. (turns into bat form and sleeps on the roof).
Verona: ... That man is gonna be the death of me.
Liz: Least he keeps us safe.
Verona: I guess.
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MEANWHILE - LITERARY IN HELL:
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Satan: Okay, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?
Freddy Krueger: Do instruments of torture count?
Satan: No.
Adolf Hitlar: Is mayonase an instrument?
Satan (annoyed): No Adolf, mayonase is not an instrument.
Hitler: ... *raises hand*
Satan: Horseradish is not an instrument either.
Hitlar lowers his hand.
Satan: That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.
[Satan laughs. Everyone stays silent.]
Micah Bell: When do we get the free food?
Ganger (A former stalker of Liz): And when do I get to bang Liz?
Satan: Can we just practice? I want to show that goodtooshoes, Jesus, that I am finally good at something.. Okay, try to repeat after me. [plays six notes] Brass section, go. [brass section repeats, badly, but good for first timers] Good. Now the wind. [wind section repeats, same] And the drums!
[drummers misunderstand what Satan means, so they blow on their sticks which blow out and stick Satan to the wall]
Satan (dryly): Too bad that didn't kill me.
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Satan: Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.
Deadpool (in Hell for some reason, he's not even dead): Is this the part where we start kicking?!
Satan: No Wade, that's a chorus line.
Hitlar: Kicking?! I wanna do some kicking! [kicks Mich in the leg]
Micah: Ow! Why, you... [jumps on Hitlar, and a fight cloud appears and roll outside and the doors slam shut]
Hitlar: [Makes a very long painful scream.]
[Everyone pauses and stare at the door, then Hitlar sticks his head back in]
Hitlar: Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on. [walks in and it is revealed that Micah Bell has stuck his body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as he walks towards his seat. As he sits down, he makes a sound on his trombone. Makes a loud trombone noise as he opens his mouth.]
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The band's walking down a street playing Semper Fidelis.
Satan: Perfect! Just like that! Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers, let's move! C'MON MOVE!
(The flag twirlers spin so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a blimp, which causes an explosion.)
Micah: (plays "Taps" on trumpet)
Satan: (sighs in annoyance).
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Satan: Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began… (Hitlar chews on a trumpet) … But I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?
Sgt Hartman (Full Metal Jacket): CORRECT!!!
Satan: So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! (windows break as they make a piercing noise with their contact band instruments)
Satan: ... Ok, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.
Demon: Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try playing with stupid mustaches!
Hitlar: What did you say, punk!?
Demon: You heard me! Mustache boy!
Hitlar: Bring it on man! Bring it on!
Deadpool (voiced by Ryan Reynolds): No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off.
Ganger: Oh, so now cancer head is going to preach to us!
Satan: Wait, wait. (everyone is arguing) I know tempers are high.
Fight cloud, everyone begins smashing each other with intruments.
Satan: There's a deposit on the equipment, people!
Freddy and Deadpool charge at each other with flutes.
They squeece to stop, extra large demon smshes them both with cymbals.
Satan: Settle down, please!
Micah (fighting Freddy Krueger): AHH! (uses flag twirlers txylophone to break the Freddy's Xylophone, chasing him away).
Micah smirks.
Hitlar: (comes over, kicks Micah).
Micah: GRRR! (pulls out Trumpet with evil smile).
Hitlar: (flees) AHHHH! (Micah chases him).
Clock strikes 10 PM, everyone stops and looks. Micah strangling Hitlar. Deadpool grabbing Ganger's shirt. And Freddy biting a demon's leg.
Ganger: Hey, class is over! (they all stop fighting anf become friendly to each other as they head towards the door, Satan blocks it).
Satan: Well, you did it. You took my one chance of happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks, thanks for nothing. (leaves).
Hitlar: You're welcome.
Deadpool: What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him. Saten's always been there for us when it was convenient for him.
Deadpool: Freddy, who gave you all those kids to kill?
Freddy: Wes Craven.
Deadpool: And Larry, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?
Demon: Some guy in an ambulance.
Deadpool: Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Satan was Wes Craven. Or. Some guy in an ambulance. Than I think we can all know how it truly feels.. To be in a marching band.
Micah: Yeah for the movie guy!
All: Hooray!
Deadpool: Now let's make boss man proud.. A 1, a 2, a skiddleydiddleydoo!
