Theme song: link
Ponies On The Rails
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Crème From Karina_Brony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Buses Are Worse Than Trains
August 13, 1955
One day, At Mirage's house, he was getting ready for work.
Mirage: *Breathing in fresh air, and looks all around him* Another beautiful day, and more time for me to work.
Colts: *Running to Mirage* Mister, we need your help!
Mirage: What's the matter?
Colts: Our bus is running late, and we need to get to school.
Mirage: Well, I suppose I could give you a ride, but next time, try not to talk to somepony you don't know. Get in.
Colts: *Gets in car*
Mirage: Stay there, I'll be back. *Goes to house, then gets on telephone* I gotta let Pete know that I'll be late for work. *Dialing Pete's number on phone*
Pete: *Signing papers in office, and picks up phone* Hello?
Mirage: Pete, something popped up, and I may be late for work.
Pete: Okay Mirage, get here when you can. Thanks for telling me. *Hangs up*
Colts: *Waiting in car*
Mirage: *Arrives* Okay kids, I just had to make a call. *Gets in car* Now, to get you to school. *Starts car, then drives out of driveway*
Colts: *Looking around*
Mirage: *Drives to school*
Colt: Hey mister, what do you do for a living?
Mirage: I'm an engineer.
Colt: Do you fix stuff?
Mirage: No, I drive trains.
Colt: Oh, that kind of engineer.
Mirage: Yeah, I'm new at the job too.
A bus soon passed Mirage on the other side of the road.
Colt: Did you see the driver of that bus?
Colt 2: I don't know. He could be a new driver.
Mirage: Do you know somepony that drives the bus?
Colt: Not really.
Colt 2: I heard from somepony that the new driver is orange, and yellow with a dark green mane.
Colt: And he hates trains so much, that he'll do anything to get rid of them. You better be careful mister.
Mirage: Oh please, just call me Mirage. Nocturnal Mirage. *Arrives at school* Here we are. And hey, if you ever need another ride, let me know.
Colts: You got it. *Runs out of car, and go to school*
Mirage: Alright, now to get to work. *Turns around, and drives to train station*
When Mirage got to work, he saw the same bus that passed him when he was giving the colts a ride to school. Nearby, were several ponies that just got off the bus. As Mirage was parking his car, the bus driver got out, and looked angry.
Mirage: *Gets out of car, and walks to station*
Bus Driver Pony: *Looks at Mirage*
Mirage: Good morning. Are you a new bus driver?
Bus Driver Pony: Yeah, and I think what I just did was dumb. If I knew I was bringing ponies to the train station, I might have crashed into a building!
Mirage: I'm glad you didn't. Our railway needs passengers, and we thank you for your assistance.
Bus Driver Pony: Lies! All lies! Buses will be the future of transportation. One day, all you ponies that work on railways will lose your job, and be homeless!
Mirage: That right there is a lie. Everypony here works their hardest.
Orion: *Runs out of station* Hey, Mirage, guess what!
Orion: I was this close to getting fired, but instead I got a three week suspension.
Mirage: Oh my god, what did you do this time?
Orion: I threw somepony's luggage onto the tracks, and a train ran it over. Well, I'm gonna enjoy my suspension! *Runs away*
Bus Driver Pony: You were saying?
Mirage: Okay, he's the only one that causes mayhem around here.
Gordon: AHHH! *Kicks pony out of station* Don't ever say that word in front of me again!
Random Pony: But I just said Moby Dick was a great book!
Gordon: Moby Dick is the worst book ever!! They should censor that word from the book, and everywhere in this world! *Walks to bus* Hey, get me to the bar. I need to get my daily dose of booze.
Bus Driver Pony: Get in. *Gets in bus*
Gordon: *Gets in bus*
Bus Driver Pony: *Drives away*
After arguing with the bus driver, Mirage entered Pete's office.
Pete: Well, if that bus driver keeps giving you problems, ignore him. Or show him that his ways, and means of transportation are wrong. Whichever one comes first.
Mirage: I'd like to do the second one.
Pete: I'm sure we all would.
Mirage: Right then. What do you want me to do for work today?
Pete: Today, I want you to work with Nicole on getting a freight train down into Laramie. When you get back from that, a passenger train heading for Denver should be here. I want you to drive it.
Mirage: You got it. *Leaves office*
As Mirage was walking to the train yard to work with Nicole, he saw Hawkeye, and Stylo sitting in their usual spot when they wait for a train to take over.
Mirage: Hey, did you two hear about what happened with Gordon?
Hawkeye: No, what?
Mirage: He heard somepony talking about the book Moby Dick, and when he heard the second word of that title, he went ballistic.
Stylo: *Laughing* That's Gordon for you.
Mirage: Yeah, I know. And another thing, there's an orange, and yellow pony with a green mane that could make us run out of business. He's been badmouthing everypony here.
Hawkeye: Well, we can't allow that.
Stylo: Just give him hell Mirage.
Mirage: You know I will, but first I need to get on a freight train with Nicole. We're taking it to Laramie.
Hawkeye: Good luck.
Mirage: Thanks mate. *walks to train yard*
After talking to Hawkeye, and Stylo, Mirage went to the train yard where he had to work with Nicole. They were taking a freight train to Laramie.
Mirage: *Climbs into cab* Hello Nicole.
Nicole: Hi Mirage.
Mirage: How long have you been here?
Nicole: Not too long. I'm waiting for the Railroad Police to finish inspecting the train.
Mirage: Right then. Did you check our fuel?
Nicole: Yes. We have enough coal, and water to go all the way to Laramie, and back.
RP Pony: Okay, you're clear to go.
Nicole: Thank you.
Snowflake: *Turns signal green*
Nicole: *Blows whistle twice*
Mirage: *Shoveling coal into firebox*
Nicole: *Drives train out of the train yard, and onto the mainline* Is everything okay?
Mirage: Oh yeah, I just got in a conversation with a bus driver. He said that everypony that works on a railway will end up homless, and that the bus is the future of transportation.
Nicole: Is he orange, and yellow with a dark green mane?
Nicole: I call him Kurt. A couple of ponies told me that it's his name.
Mirage: Good to know. Let's keep our eyes on the tracks.
They got to Laramie on time, and brought another freight train into Cheyenne. Mirage, and Nicole were walking to the station together.
Mirage: So, what are you going to do next?
Nicole: Well, I gotta tell Pete something, then I'm going to work in the yards. What about you?
Mirage: I have to take a passenger train into Denver. It should be here soon. *Sits at bench*
Nicole: *Walks into station*
Mirage: *Checks watch* Only 90 seconds until my train arrives.
Nicole: *Runs out of station* Mirage, you may want to see this. *Runs back into station*
Mirage: *Follows Nicole*
Both ponies were staring out the front window. They could see Kurt, standing by his bus letting ponies in. He just finished putting up a sign on his bus, underneath the windows. It said Railway Bus.
Nicole: Kurt put that up there to fool everypony. Instead of bringing passengers to us, he's taking them away.
Mirage: He's not taking them to Denver, is he?
Nicole: That's what I heard him say.
Mirage: Impossible! Denver is further from here by road!
Nicole: Yeah, but he says that he knows a short cut.
Kurt: *Gets in bus*
Mirage: He's driving away!
Kurt: *Drives bus away from station* YEAH!!!
Mirage: *Looks at watch* My train is here already. I better get going. *Runs out of station, and gets into train* Come on, come on! Turn the signal green!
Signal Pony: *Turns signal green*
Conductor: All aboard!
Mirage: *Blows horn twice, and drives out of station* I'll catch that bus sooner or later!
The road was parallel to the railway halfway up Sherman Hill. After that, it split up. One road went right, and under a railway bridge. Kurt took that road instead of the other one.
As Mirage was getting to a bridge on his train, he saw somepony waving a red flag. That meant danger.
Mirage: *Stops train*
Railway Pony: *Walks up to Mirage*
Mirage: What's wrong?
Railway Pony: I understand that you've been racing a bus to Denver.
Mirage: Yeah, where is he?
Railway Pony: Look no further. He's under the bridge, and got his bus stuck under.
Mirage: Oh boy.
Bus Ponies: We want our money back!
Bus Pony 35: That ass hat lied to us, and said he'd take us to another station to catch another train!
Bus Pony 13: Then he tried getting us to Denver by himself.
Bus Pony 6: The bus sucks. We're getting on the train.
Kurt: No you're not! How was I supposed to know that this bus was too big to go under the bridge?!
Bus Ponies: *Walk pass Kurt, and gets onto train*
Mirage: Well, looks like I got more passengers for my train.
Railway Pony: *Looks at bridge* It's risky, so go as slow as possible.
Mirage: Right. *Walks back to engine, and climbs into cab*
Kurt: Wait, what's he doing?
Railway Pony: Just wait, and see.
Mirage: *Drives slowly over bridge*
Kurt: Is he- is he going over?!
Railway Pony: Yep.
Mirage: *Getting train over bridge*
Kurt: *Looking at bus stuck under bridge* STOP!! YOU'LL CRUSH MY BUS!!
Railway Pony: It's not going anywhere. Relax.
Mirage: *Gets entire train over bridge*
To make a long story short, Mirage got the train to Denver on time. When he returned to Cheyenne, he told everypony about what happened, and they celebrated.
As for Kurt? He lost his job for getting the bus stuck under the bridge, and is now a teacher at an elementary school. He still badmouths everypony that works on railways, but it doesn't bother anypony. His students ignore him.
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
Nicole learns an important lesson.
SeanTheHedgehog. Copyright, 2014