One day, Button Mash was watching TV.
Button: I can't seem to find anything good. *Changes channel to a news report*
Anchor Pony: And apparently, the bank robbers took off in a dark blue Suburban.
Button: Boring. *Changes channel to war film*
Equestrian Pony 589: Get down.
Terrorist: *Shoots missile*
Button: Isn't there anything good on TV?! *Changes channel*
Announcer: And now, it's time for a new episode of Ponies On The Rails. Sponsored by Princess Motors. Manufacturing both cars, and trains for over seventy years.
Theme song: link
Ponies On The Rails
Starring the Union Pacific ponies
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Crème "Frenchy" From Karina_Brony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NocturnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.
Nikki West From Jade_23
Michael, Roger, Anthony, and Duke From Seanthehedgehog
Date: September 14, 1956
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Nikki was at the station, carrying her saddlebags. She was going to Chicagoat to visit some pony, but the train broke down, and she was stuck at the station.
Nikki: *Starts writing a letter*
It has been a month since I received my four month vacation. I am writing to you from Cheyenne Wyoming. You would like most of the ponies that work here. I know I do. One pony I don't like is Gordon. He's arrogant, does stupid things, and gets angry for no reason.
Gordon: *By a derailed train* Okay every pony, move along. There's nothing to see here.
Hawkeye: That's typical of Gordon. Trying to act like a police officer.
Gordon: *Blows whistle* I said get back!
Hawkeye: Gordon, there's no pony here that's going to take anything.
Percy, Jeff, and Pete: *Arrive in a inspection cart*
Gordon: *Blows whistle* Stop!
Percy: *Stops cart* If you don't mind, me and Jeff are gonna repair the track.
Pete: How did this happen?
Hawkeye: Rails were too far apart. The sun must have warped them.
Hawkeye: It stretched the rails with a lot of heat.
Gordon: Then I will have to ask you to stand back in order for the rails to cool off. *Blows whistle*
Pete: *Takes whistle, and throws it away* CONFISCATED!!
Even though he's an idiot, I found him to be quite amusing. The second, and final pony I do not like is Orion. He's trying to get fired on purpose, because he thinks somepony will execute him if he quits his job.
Pete: *Signing papers in his office*
Mirage: *Walks into office*
Pete: Whatever happened to knocking?
Mirage: Forgive me sir, but it's a matter of life, and death.
Pete: What is?
Orion: *Walking on station platform in a dress*
Ponies: *Staring at Orion*
Old Mare: What is Equestria coming to?
Stallion 72: First our government accuses random ponies of being communists, and now this.
Mare 57: I just wanted a train ride to San Franciscolt, but I think I will ride a plane there instead.
Pete: *Arrives* What in the name of President Eisenhower is happening here?
Orion: Forgive me.
Pete: Why do I have the feeling that everyone is going to say that to me?
Orion: But I am on my way to Washington DC to protest, and support a mare's right to vote.
Pete: That was thirty years ago.
Orion: Thirty years ago, it was 1890. Now is the start of the roaring twenties, and I will stop at nothing, until all mares can vote.
Pete: This ain't the start of the roaring twenties sweetheart. It's the start of the late 1950's.
Orion: So they say. By 1956, I hope that my dream will come true.
Pete: I think it just did.
Orion: *Gets excited* You're firing me?
Pete: No. *Knocks out Orion* I am going to make you watch an educational video, about Mare's suffrage. Then you'll realize that your so called dream is true.
Hawkeye: *Walking past Nikki* Who are you writing a letter to?
Nikki: My sister.
Hawkeye: Where does she live?
Nikki: With me in Ogden, but she was sent into El Paso as a spare worker.
Hawkeye: Oh. Well I just wanted to let you know that your train will be ready to leave in twenty minutes. Now I have to get back to work. *Walks away*
Nikki: *Continues writing letter*
One of the engineers on this railroad has the nickname of Hawkeye. His real name is Pierce, but he. likes his nickname better. He even has a great sense of humor.
Gordon: *Standing on station with a sign* Unicorns are the best. We are the master race. It says so on the sign that I'm holding.
Hawkeye: *Walks towards Gordon* Hey Gordon, why don't you protest about stupid things somewhere else.
Gordon: *Walks away*
Hawkeye: Thank you.
Metal Gloss: *Stops train at the station*
Hawkeye: *Jumps onto train* Hey Metal Gloss. How's my favorite B word?
Metal Gloss: Fine I guess.
Hawkeye: When work is over, why don't we go to my place, and do something that has three letters in it?
Metal Gloss: Maybe next time. I gotta make my house look nice for my nephew. He's coming to visit all week.
Hawkeye: Spending time with family is important. I can't wait until we get married.
Stylo is another engineer. He takes his job serious, but doesn't mind playing a joke or two.
Stylo: *Stops freight train in the yards*
Coffee Crème: *Walking into the yards*
Orion: *Carrying rifle* Say your prayers Stylo. It's Pegasus season.
Stylo: *Points at Coffee Crème* French season.
Coffee Crème: *Points at Stylo* Pegasus season!
Stylo: *Pushes Coffee Crème towards Orion* French season.
Coffee Crème: *Pushes Stylo towards Orion* Pegasus season!
Stylo: Pegasus season.
Coffee Crème: French season! Kill the frenchy!
Orion: *Shoots Coffee Creme*
Coffee Crème: *Has her entire face covered in charcoal, and glares at Stylo* You're despicable.
Did I mention that Orion has a sister? She is the yard master, and controls everything that happens in the train yard. It's a difficult job, but somepony has to do it, and she volunteered.
Snowflake: *Sitting by radio* Sure is a beautiful day. *About to listen to music on the radio*
Engineer Pony: Come in Cheyenne Yard, this is train, 102. Do you copy?
Snowflake: *Grabs walkie talkie* I copy. Are you coming in?
Engineer Pony: Yes ma'am. I have three diesels pulling the train. Lead unit is Engine 942. Load: Wires, and gasoline.
Snowflake: You're right on time, and clear to enter.
Engineer Pony: Thank you.
Snowflake: *Hears explosion, and sticks her head out the window* What's happening?
Yard Worker: Sorry Snowflake, but a chemical car blew up.
Snowflake: Fix the damage immediately. We are expecting a freight train here within a few minutes. *Gets head back into yard tower* Red Rose did a better job dealing with those chemical cars then I ever will.
Nikki: *Still writing her letter*
Conductor: *Walking towards Nikki* Excuse me miss, are you one of the passengers for the train heading to Chicagoat?
Nikki: Yes sir.
Conductor: Then you better get back on board. The engines have been repaired, and this train will leave soon.
Nikki: Thank you. *Gets on train. She sits down on a seat, then continues writing her letter*
There are two ponies that repair track, and locomotives that I know. Their names are Percy, and Jeff. Percy is nice, but Jeff is always switching up his personality. One day he's nice, and the next day, he's mean.
Percy: *Sweating as he hammers a spike into a rail*
Jeff: Percy, you seem to be tired.
Percy: I am tired, but I don't have any water.
Jeff: Take some of mine. *Gives water to Percy*
Percy: Oh thanks Jeff. *Drinks water* That's really nice of you.
Jeff: *Walking towards the yards*
Pete: Jeff, I need you to-
Jeff: Repair engine 4013, I know. You told me yesterday.
Pete: I just wanted to make sure you remembered.
Jeff: What, you think I'm an idiot or something?
Pete: Take it easy.
Jeff: Well you're wrong. *Walks away*
Percy: Good morning Jeffrey.
Jeff: Shut up. *Pushes Percy into garbage can*
Percy: *Finds a one hundred dollar bill* Who would throw money away? Oh well, finders keepers.
Coffee Crème is my best friend. We went to high school together, and seeing her here makes me happy. I met her once when I brought a train into their yards. I met her while turning my engine on the turntable.
Coffee Creme: *Looking at engine, then notices Nikki* Nikki!! *Hugs Nikki*
Nikki: *Hugging back* Good to see you again after all these years.
Coffee Creme: When did you start working for this railway?
Nikki: I don't work here, I work for the Southern Pacific.
Coffee Creme: Oh.
Nikki: But don't worry, I'll be bringing in a lot of trains for y'all. How's Honey Bee? I haven't seen her since she moved out of our neighborhood.
Coffee Creme: She's dead.
Coffee Creme: Somepony crashed into her train three years ago.
Nikki: Aw, that's a shame. But, what can you expect from railroading? *Gets back in engine* Make you sure you don't crash now, you hear?
Coffee Creme: Just get your engine off that turntable so I can turn my engines around.
Nikki: I'm on it. *Drives off turntable*
Coffee Creme: *Sighs* Great to see her again. If only she worked on the Union Pacific.
Metal Gloss is another female engineer. She loves steam engines more than any other pony I know.
Percy: *Putting oil on the valve gear of a challenger*
Metal Gloss: *Arrives* You're doing a really nice job.
Percy: Thank you. Pete told me you were going to use this engine to get a freight train up Sherman Hill.
Metal Gloss: That's right. These challengers are nice, but I want to drive a Big boy. Those engines are the largest steam engines in the world.
Percy: Maybe tomorrow.
Metal Gloss: Yeah maybe.
And last, but not least, there's Pete. He's the head honcho for this section of the Union Pacific, and does his job well.
Pete: *Signing papers in his office, then hears his phone, and answers the call* Hello?
Orion: *Sings* Praise the lord, and pass the ammunition. Praise the lord, and pass the ammunition.
Pete: Either you sing a good song, or don't sing at all. *Hangs up*
Hawkeye: *Knocks on door*
Pete: Who is it?
Hawkeye: It's me. Let me in.
Pete: No. I have over two hundred papers to sign. *Hears phone ringing, and answers it* What?
Business: This is the car dealership at Omaha. I need twenty new Foalsmobiles, and Studebakers by Friday.
Pete: I'll get them to you. *Hangs up, but the phone rings again. He picks it up* Yes?
Orion: How about I sing a song by the Andrew Sisters?
Pete: *Getting angry* How about you go bother somepony else?! *Hangs up*
Hawkeye: Now may I come in?
Pete: Yeah, whatever.
Hawkeye: *Enters the office*
Pete: *Hears phone ringing again*
Hawkeye: *Leaves the office*
Pete: *Answers phone* Orion, you stop singing those songs of yours, or you'll never get fired!
Mom: Peter! Don't talk like that to your mother!
Pete: Mom? How did you get this number?
Everypony here enjoys working here. Except Gordon, and Orion.
Conductor: All aboard!
Nikki: *Finishes writing the letter*
Write back to me as soon as you can.
Your loving sister, Nikki.
The brown earth pony stared out of the window, as her train leaves the station.
On the next episode of Ponies On The Rails
The year is 1957.
SeanTheHedgehog. Copyright, 2014