Story: "Christmas Spirit"
Author: edwestwick (Ana)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gossip Girl.
Summary: 'Pretend like you never get sad and all you care about is making more money.' After Blair’s words his father visits Chuck and shows him past and future, leaving him to make a decision. Chuck/Bart Chuck/Blair
I updated Sparks earlier today and since I’m so excited for 3x12 after promo and spoilers I wrote this fic. It’s what I would like to see happening in next episode, well part of it since it would be too long to put everything in it. :) I should be studying for my tomorrow test right now but I wanted to post it before new episode. Enjoy!
'Pretend like you never get sad and all you care about is making more money' Blair's words were flashing in his head as he was driving in his limo to meet her in his hotel like he promised. She wants him to go to his father fucking grave and put flowers? And why should he? It's not like his father ever cared about him. Why can't Blair just believe that he really didn't miss his dad? Dad, he was five years old when he called him that last time. He remembers it like it was yesterday.
He got his nanny to stop by his father office as it was Father's Day and he made a card for his daddy like all children do on this day. Nate got this idea yesterday and they met today to make their cards. He walked in and saw his father sitting behind his big desk like he always did. He was so excited to show him his work on which he worked two hours. He handed him his gift and said 'I love you dad' just like he saw Nathaniel does earlier. But instead of hug and loving words how he loves his gift he got 'I don't have time for this Charles' and angry look in his nanny direction, who was fired next day, and she took him fast from his father’s office. This day Chuck got rid of the card mumbling 'stupid Nate'. As the years passed by he never again even thought about giving something to his parent and there was only father or Bart, no more dad and daddy. And certainly no more 'I love you' to anyone until Blair.
So she really expects him to sit and mourn Bart? He did it last year thank you very much and it didn't bring him any relief or make him believe Bart loved him like everyone tried to convince him. 'And you Chuck Bass are not your father.' He said he knows that. But really isn't he? He screws everything up just like he did. He knows he will fuck up his relationship with Blair soon too. He is bound to do it. Sure he loves his girlfriend, more than anyone, more than himself. So what? His father loved his mother too and he lost her. Just like he had lost Blair so many times in the past and he will again. He can as well blame older Bass for it.
He gets out of his limo and enters his hotel nodding at doorman. He takes the elevator and after few minutes walks in to see his girlfriend sitting on his couch. She stands up when she spots him and comes closer.
'How were things after I left?' She starts as she doesn't want to bring inevitable just yet. She knows he will get upset and most likely take it out on her.
'Good. You want to go out for lunch now or order in?' Typical Chuck, she thinks, avoiding the subject.
'I thought we could talk.' She knows he will get mad as she was expecting as she looks at his face. He furrows his eyebrows and looks past her.
'There is nothing to talk about.' Again typical Chuck's denial when it gets hard.
'Yes there is. It's your father death anniversary.' He shoots her irritated look.
'Sorry I forgot. Thanks for reminding.' She sighs and tries again.
'Chuck please. You can't hold it all in again like last year, besides now I am your girlfriend so just talk to me.' She gives him pleading look and for a second hopes he will give up but than he clenches his jaw and his eyes are furious.
'I won't talk about it! So we can eat something or just leave.' She closes her eyes and doesn't argue with him. She knows he doesn't mean to be harsh, she was there after Bart's death and knows how hard it is for Chuck. Today is about him so she walks to door stopping by him just to say 'You know where to find me' and leaves hoping he will actually come and find her.
He hears the click and knows she's gone. He stands here a moment wondering what to do when he hears someone, which is impossible since no one is here, say something.
'Well that didn't go good, did it?' It can't be he thinks. Even when he was all drunk and drugged in Thailand he didn't have illusions but he can swear that what he just heard was his father's voice. So he turns around and he's looking right into his DEAD father eyes. What the fuck? You got to be kidding. He knows his father hated him all his life but after too? And that much to haunt him?
'That's impossible.' He whispers under his breath and starts to walk towards the door to get out of his suite and go get drunk. Yes that's the best option.
'You can't run from me Chuck.' No this is so not happening!
'Shut up! You’re not here. You're dead and I won't have to see you ever again.' Yes that's right. Just wake up Chuck.
'I'm right here Charles. But you're right I am dead.' Good at last that is clear.
'So what are you a ghost? Came to haunt me for my sins? Don't tell me they didn't have better options as sending you as example is ridiculous.' Really Bart Bass to change me into good boy?
'I'm not here to punish you Chuck. I am here to help you.'
'And how exactly could you do that? I don't remember you ever helped me with anything.' Unless I needed money or lawyer.
'I know I wasn't a best father but I want you to be happy so it will be best if you just listen.' Try worst.
'Fine let's get it over with so I won't have to look at you anymore.' And I can go get drunk and forget about all this bullshit.
'Very well Charles. Now let me show you something.' Bart grabbed his hand and before he could protest he was in living room of their old place, where they lived before his father married Lily and they moved out. It looked almost the same as he remembered it if you won't count few small differences. It was snowing outside he realized as he looked out through big window next to couch. In the corner stood beautiful Christmas tree, one of these he only ever saw at Blair's or Nathaniel's.
He was going to ask what the hell is going on but then the door opened and a couple walked in. His eyes widened and he felt his heart tighten when he recognized who they were. Here just in front of him stood his parents only a lot younger. His father was holding his mother's hand as they closed the door and put their bags on the floor. When younger Bart put his now free hand on Mrs. Bass belly he realized his mother was pregnant. He chocked back tears as he thought that right here he had just seen his mother first time and she was now saying that she can't wait to finally see her baby. Him. His mom couldn't wait to hold him and she wanted him. He couldn't stop single tear which made his way down his cheek when his dad, yes he called him that again, replayed that he can't wait either. His parents actually wanted him and loved him before he was bored. He couldn't stop himself from thinking how different his life could be if Misty Bass hadn’t died.
He watches how they happily look at the clothes and toys they brought this afternoon for him and turns to his ghost father to see him looking with sadness in his eyes at the image in front of him. Finally he looks away and mention for Chuck to take his hand again. After a second they are in strange room which looks similar to previous one. There in the corner is even prettier tree and Christmas stockings are hanging on the fireplace. Under the tree are placed gifts, more than he had ever seen in his life.
He hears laughs and screaming and a little girl with brown long curls with dark eyes in gorgeous red dress runs in followed by smaller boy with dark hair and dark eyes dressed in black pants and shirt with red bowtie matching girl's dress. The girl is laughing as the boy is trying to catch her with smirk on his face. He wants to know what they are doing here but then he stops breathing for a moment and just stands here with his mouth open as another young couple walks in. But he can't believe it when he sees it's his Blair only older but she still looks amazing in black dress and with his arm around her waist is his own older version in black suit with the same as little boy’s red bowtie. He watches as a women catches a boy while a man takes little girl in his arms. They are all smiling and after children ask yelling each one louder to open the gifts their parents let them and after a moment there is one big mess of flying papers and ribbons. The kids are jumping and hugging the adults happily and then goes to play with new toys. Older Chuck gives his wife a wrapped in green paper box and she opens it smiling. She gasps when she sees a beautiful gold bracelet and let her husband place it on her wrist before she kiss him and they get lost in their embrace.
He wants to stay here and watch this forever but right then he feels his father hand on his again and they are back in his suite. He sits down and his heart is still beating fast after what he just saw.
'Was it a true?' He has to know before he will rise his hopes up. He has to know if all his dreams, he never believed will actually happen, will come true.
'Yes and no. What you saw first, your mother and me was all true. We were both really happy when she found out she's pregnant. I and your mother really loves you son.' He might just believe it this time.
'And Blair and me?' Please let it be true.
'That can be true too. It's your future Charles if you just let her in and let her loves you. I have to go now. You know what to do. Goodbye son.' He knows it's his last chance so he stands up and hugs his dad whispering 'I love you too dad and tell mom I love her and I miss her.' His father nods and disappears.
Chuck looks around and his stare stops at his and Blair’s photo from their summer trip to Tuscany where he finally took her. He was a year late but they had great time and on the picture they are kissing standing in front of fountain. He looks happy and he really wants to be happy. He wants Blair to love him forever and he wants the future his father showed him so he knows what he has to do. He decides to let his walls fall down and let himself be happy with the person he loves most and who means everything to him. So he takes his coat and calls Arthur to bring the limo as they are going to visit NYU.