1. Pilot

Chuck: Serena look effin hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.

Chuck: You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you haven't sealed the deal.

Chuck: I'm gonna have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.
Serena: And if you order a drink, they're also serving pigs.
Chuck: I love it when you talk dirty.

Chuck: Let's catch up. Take our clothes off. Stare at each other.

Chuck: I love freshmen. They're so...

2. The Wild Brunch

Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.

Chuck: Better a broken nose than a broken heart.

Chuck: I'm honored to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.

Chuck: Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend. I kind of admire you for it.

3. Poison Ivy

Chuck: Heard about the field hockey throwdown. All those mouth guards and short skirts. I hope somebody filmed it.

Chuck: Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better.

Chuck: I am a bitch when I want to be.

4. Bad News Blair

Chuck: Let me remind you of the rules. There is no outside rum and the only girls you talk to are the ones I've paid for

Chuck: He looks like Matthew McConaughey between movies.

Chuck: Let's go. You can think about your boyfriend inside.

Chuck: The real world. Everyone out there wants to be us.

6. The Handmaiden's Tale

Chuck: Mysterious financial transactions. Warring parents. Welcome to the Upper East Side.

Chuck: I'd say strip poker. But I don't have any cards.

Chuck: Little Jenny Humphrey gets my pants off and I still don't manage to enjoy it.

Chuck: Well you look ravishing. If I were your man, I wouldn't need clues to find you.

7. Victor Victrola

Chuck: You were amazing up there.

Chuck: You sure?

Club employee: Who's that girl?
Chuck: I have no idea.

Chuck: A burlesque club. A respectable place where people can be transported to another time. Where they can feel free to let loose. No judgment. Pure escape . What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola.

8. Seventeen Candles

Chuck: Yeah I'm sorry about that. But look, if you're done with Blair... be done. Don't cater to your parents wishes if they're not your desires.

Chuck: Look... I care about three things, Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me, and you.

Chuck: Well, this is the last place I'd expect to find you.
Blair: Go away, Chuck! I've been given orders, practically from God himself, to avoid you.
Chuck: Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?

Chuck: Nate? Oh, I don't think he'll be singing Happy Birthday this year.

Chuck: If he knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity belt in the back of this very limo?

Chuck: Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over...

Nate: Where's the girl?
Chuck: In my dreams. I was trying to get some shut eye.

Chuck: Sounds Freudian.

Chuck: Are you ready for your present?...
Ow! If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was ask.

Chuck: Please. You forget who you're talking to.
Blair: So do you. Do you... like me?
Chuck: Define like.

Chuck: How do you think I feel? I haven't slept. I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach. Fluttering.

10. Hi, Society

Chuck: I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.

Chuck: Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."

Chuck: You looked hot on Prince Theodore's arm, today.
Blair: Is that what I am to you, just an accessory?
Chuck: Next to him, yes. On me, you'd be so much more.

11. Roman Holiday

Chuck: (voicemail) Leave a message and I might listen to it.

12. School Lies

Chuck: Drop your Archibald habit first.
Blair: You know I already have.
Chuck: Really? A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal. Let's not waste time denying.

Chuck: Really? You want me to tell him how you slept with me and then faked your virginity for him?

Chuck: How about I turn that one-piece to a no-piece?

Chuck: I didn't say forever, just until the sight of you two together doesn't turn my stomach.
Blair: And when will that be?
Chuck: Only time will tell, I'm afraid. So unless you want dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle, I encourage patience and restraint.

Blair: Isn't there someone else you can torture?
Chuck: Probably, but I choose you.

Chuck: You know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister. And you know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.

Chuck: What do the Humphreys have to offer? Your dad's cassingle?

Chuck: Poor little Humphrey Dumpty. Look, let me clarify something for you. Regardless of who you're currently sleeping with, you and I come from different worlds. In my world, if I'm suspended or expelled, a wing is donated in the Bass name.
Dan: That sounds like quite a world.
Chuck: It's not perfect, I'll admit.

Vanessa: You're sick!
Chuck: You're welcome!

13. A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate

Chuck: What's obvious is that your best friend has kept you in dark.
Serena: What are you talking about?
Chuck: I handle my business. Apparently, Nate doesn't.

Chuck: Please, call me brother.

Serena: I need to talk to you.
Chuck: About getting knocked up? I must say I was a little disappointed you weren't more careful.

Chuck: Game's not over 'til I say it is.

14. The Blair Bitch Project

Serena: What is your problem?!?
Chuck: Specify the context.

Chuck: May I remind you, Serena, that you used to have a sense of humor.

Chuck: Then I suggest you get new hand towels.

15. Desperately Seeking Serena

Chuck: Hearing you scream my name is more than enough.

Chuck: She really needs to tone down on the social niceties. It's embarrassing.
Serena: Eventually the two of you are going to have to work out your issues.
Chuck: Issues? I'm issue free. And based on my exhaustive research, so are you.
Serena: Georgina?
Chuck: According to my very reliable sources, Georgina Sparks is nowhere near our fair isle. She's in Switzerland, dating the Prince of Balfour.
Serena: There's a prince of Balfour? And she's dating him? Oh thank god.
Chuck: Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you with peace of mind. And maybe Chuck in the room.

17. Woman On the Verge

Chuck: Your starting to scare even me. What did you do?

Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass

Chuck: Maybe this is Blair's idea of a perverse double-date.

Nate: You know, why do I get the feeling you're actually enjoying this?
Chuck: Call me sentimental.

Serena: Where's Dan?
Chuck: I'm out of luck, he's still here.

18. Much I Do About Nothing

Blair: You were on the floor!
Chuck: I hurt my back.
Blair: How? It's not like you every do anything athletic.
Chuck: Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?
Blair: Fine, nothing that involves removing your scarf.
Chuck: That was one time, it was chilly.

Chuck: You know, they say if you love something, you should set it free.

Blair: Don't worry, I can be a bitch enough for both of us.
Chuck: I still got the scars on my back to prove it.

Chuck: I'd like to propose a toast. My father is someone who goes after what he wants. And Lily van der Woodsen was no exception. In typical Bass-man fashion his pursuit was direct and at times not exactly subtle. One thing I learned from my father's courtship of Lily is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love you don't just give up, even if the object of your affection is begging you to. One thing I learned from Lily is the importance of forgiveness. She gave my father the gift of a second chance and, in kind, I watched him become someone actually worthy of that gift. And one day I hope I'll be lucky enough to find someone who will do the same for me. To the happy couple!

Chuck: Let's take it slow this time. Do it right.
Blair: Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew?
Chuck: Now you do. That's all that matters.

Chuck: You don't belong to Nate. Never have, never will.


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Awwww, love Chuck's quotes. My fav is obviously 'I'm Chuck Bass' :]