1. Summer, Kind Of Wonderful
Chuck: Girls you don't know how thankful I am to have finally found a use for geometry in my daily life.
Chuck: Who told you that little piece of advice, your boyfriend Nate?
Serena: Nate didn't say anything.
Chuck: Good. 'Cause I don't think it's wise taking relationship advice from somebody in a fake relationship. Call me crazy. Enjoy another night alone with your thoughts.
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.
Chuck: Oh and if by that you mean I won't like him at all, you're right.
Chuck: Look, I know what that pin means to you. You gave it Nate the first time you said you loved him.
Chuck: Unless there's a sprinkler, I don't care.
Chuck: By the way Archibald, now that the summer's over I can tell you I never believed any of the talk that you hit it with my sis...
Chuck: Do some research, Junior. I'm in the mood to be right.
Chuck: I was scared that if we spent the whole summer together that you'd see.
Blair: See what?
2. Never Been Marcused
Chuck: It's just a game, Blair.
Blair: Not to me, Basshole. I like him!
Chuck: So do I. And apparently he doesn't have too many friends.
Chuck: Which is why I have to get to know him. No one's that perfect. Once I get him out of the way I'll have a clear shot at Blair.
Chuck: I think you're jealous of my new best friend.
Chuck: I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone so young... or so beautiful.
Chuck: I thought you might like to meet my friend.
Chuck: That's not sarcasm in your voice, that's—
Blair: Victory. I know. Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus' mommy is even sicker than you are.
Chuck: You got along great.
Chuck: Tomorrow's another day.
Blair: Goodnight Chuck.
Chuck: Goodnight Blair.
3. The Dark Night
Chuck: So you seen Blair and Lord Fauntleroy recently?
Nate: No. Are you doing okay?
Chuck: I confess I've been a little off my game. But I'm expecting a return to form very soon.
Serena: Who was that?
Chuck: A little whiff of the Far East.
Chuck: I'll take your incredulity as a compliment.
Chuck: I don't have a romantic bone in my body. Least of all that one.
Chuck: You can't tell me Bertie Wooster is satisfying your needs. Titles aside, a suit of armor makes for a cold bedfellow.
Chuck: What names does he call you when you make love? Where does he put his hand? Does he ... Have sex with me.
Chuck: Please, you knew exactly who it was.
Chuck: I am... just not for you.
4. The Ex - Files
Chuck: Humphrey was holding you back. You're a born queen this is your year to rule. Why fight it?
Chuck: Think of it as an early application process. There's so many slots in Chuck Bass’ social calendar. It'll save me a ton of time.
Chuck: She met some new friends, they extended an invitation to her for lunch. Hockey sticks were involved. You know how persuasive our girls can be.
Chuck: They anoint Amanda into their fold, she'll be bound by their laws. Namely she won't be allowed to date ex-boyfriends. Namely you.
Chuck: Cashing out so soon, Humphrey?
Dan: You really should wear a bell.
Chuck: Kinky. I'll think about it. Hope you're not leaving. You're about to see the real Serena.
Dan: I've seen enough.
Chuck: Not by half.
Chuck: Jealousy is a powerful emotion. I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen.
5. The Serena Also Rises
Chuck: Watching you fail spectacularly gives me so much joy.
Chuck: It's like the plague. Only instead of vermin on my doorstep, I get the human being. Beat it, Humphrey. My sister doesn't dig stalkers.
Dan: I know we don't like each other and you think of me as a boring, sheltered nobody.
Chuck: I don't think of you.
Chuck: Are you gay?
Dan: Now that would be out of my comfort zone, but no. I just need to get out of Brooklyn. For one night. I'd like to experience the world of Chuck Bass.
Chuck: You're lucky I'm bored.
Dan: What is that?
Chuck: Does it matter? Go down the rabbit hole. Or go out the door.
Chuck: Twins find me.
Chuck: Tonight was nothing. You're just a drunken idiot.
Dan: What's your father like?
Chuck: Me. Only older. And meaner.
Chuck: He hated me.
Dan: That doesn't make sense.
Chuck: It does if his beloved wife died giving birth to me.
Dan: That's not your fault.
Chuck: Tell him that. Sometimes I swear he thinks I killed her. Who knows, maybe I did.
Chuck: For what it's worth, Humphrey, you had my back. Never thought I'd say this, but thanks.
Chuck: I hope they make a Humphrey sandwich.
6. New Haven Can Wait
Chuck: Get excited, Archibald. We are less than three hours away from horny Women’s Studies majors wanting to work out all their anger towards men in their bunk beds.
Chuck: I'm, uh, evaluating colleges based on secret societies. Yale has the creme de la creme. The Skull and Bones. My goal is to get inside their inner sanctum.
Nate: And how exactly are you planning on doing that?
Chuck: By showing up.
Chuck: I wonder what lucky school will be the subject of the next nursery rhyme penned by Brooklyn's lamest fiction writer.
Chuck: Say hello to the characters on public transportation for me.
Chuck: You don't find them. They find you.
Chuck: I know you're not a geography wiz, but you are aware that Providence is in Rhode Island.
Chuck: You got invited and she didn't? You're lucky to be alive!
Chuck: A hot girl. Named George. Just like a man. And apparently, it's the Dean's favorite writer. And I know this because talking to Blair about how she's gonna get into Yale gets her really ...
Chuck: You may be the future leaders of America, but you're under the control of Chuck Bass.
7. Chuck in Real Life
Chuck: Humphrey. Never a pleasure.
Chuck: Isn't it about time you ended this bromance? What happens at Yale stays at Yale.
Chuck: We both know you'll do it again. It's just a question of when.
Blair: The answer is Never.
Chuck: We're inevitable, Waldorf.
Chuck: Waving the white flag are we?
Blair: Not exactly. I've got a proposition for you.
Chuck: I'll say yes.
Chuck: I'll just imagine she's you.
Chuck: Did you have a reason for coming here? Because if it was to insult me there's a web site you can go to.
Chuck: Rum runner. Womanizer. Millionaire. He was my kinda guy.
Chuck: You say that. You don't really know me. My father on the other hand has lifetime experience. He makes some good points.
Chuck: If you thought that was long, you have no idea what you're in for.
Chuck: Maybe I want to raise the stakes. Are you ready to play that game? I chased you for long enough. Now it's time you chased me.
Chuck: Wanna get in? I'd love to give you a ride.
Chuck: Don't torture me. I'm dying.
Chuck: Smells a little like desperation.
Chuck: I gave you a shot. And while your efforts were admirable, I'm bored. And you've ruined my pants. Goodnight, Blair.
Chuck: What's going on, Blair? You told me you had something to say to me. Say it.
Chuck: Don't tell me you brought me all the way to Brooklyn for this. I thought you were ready to tell me how you really felt. Obviously this is just another one of your games.
Chuck: The reason we we can't say those three words to each other is because they are true.
Blair: Then why?
Chuck: I think we both know the moment we do it will be the start of something and the end. Think about it. "Chuck and Blair going to the movies". "Chuck and Blair holding hands".
Chuck: That and I'm not sure how long we'd last. It'd just be a matter of time before we messed it all up. Look, I'd rather wait. And maybe in the future.
9. There Might Be Blood
Chuck: Well. What do we have here? Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Chuck
Emma: Bass. Oh my god. I read about you on Gossip Girl. You're like the Devil.
Chuck: Finally. Some truth in advertising. Headed out, are we?
Emma: Serena, Blair and I are going to the Gala. Hope you're coming.
Chuck: Well I'm all for company on a Saturday night but the only thing I like that aged is my Scotch.
Chuck: Looks like you just hooked yourself a Bass.
Chuck: Just so you know, while there are few things I consider sacred, the back of the limo is one of them.
Chuck: Kittens, please. I found her table.
Chuck: So Humbert Humbert's name is Serge Gromance. His father plays tennis at the club. I know where his building is. Let's go.
10. Bonfire Of The Vanity
Chuck: It will ruin our family. Don't do it. Please.
11. The Magnificent Archibalds
Chuck: Oh I don't. But if you're not with the Humphreys anymore obviously things are looking up. Which is too bad. I kind of liked watching you slumming. I thought it would teach you who your real friends were.
Eric: Your dad just insinuated that Jonathan might be dating someone else. How and why would he know that?
Chuck: He has a PI on retainer like I do.
Chuck: If you're talking about the dress, I'd say higher.
Chuck: You have my word. Whatever that's worth.
Chuck: I knew you'd come back for more.
Chuck: Like extortion. Kidnapping.
Chuck: By the way, I'm glad you stayed too.
Nate: Thanks man.
Chuck: Now let's, uh, let's get drunk in style.
12. It's A Wonderful Lie
Chuck: It occurred to me today when I was having my afternoon shiatsu that I should choose your date.
Blair: You? Why?
Chuck: Why not? And it would let me prove I know you better than anyone else.
Blair: If you actually like your date, I get your limo for a month.
Chuck: Fine. And if you like yours I get Dorota.
Chuck: By the way, I take my breakfast in bed.
Chuck: Sure that's wise? Seems to me the old marriage thermostat is headed south of late.
Chuck: You look lovely.
Blair: Not as lovely as I'll look in my limo. So where's my Prince Uncharming?
Chuck: Sandbox rules. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
Chuck: And I'm curious to see if the new Blair has all the features I so enjoyed on the old model.
Chuck: You've been good for him—good for us. I always liked you regardless of how I may have acted. He's on his way here. You owe him a conversation.
Chuck: Dance with me.
Blair: What's the point, Chuck. We're never going to be them. You said so, remember? It's not for us.
Chuck: Maybe. But I wouldn't change us. Not if it meant losing what we have.
Blair: And what do we have, Chuck? You tell me.
Chuck: Tonight. So shut up. And dance with me.
13. O Brother, Where Bart Thou?
Chuck: Skip the sympathy. This is business. My father met with you right before he died. I want to know what you told him that night.
Chuck: I'm sorry. I can't stay. If you'll excuse me, I have to go bury my father.
Chuck: Respect. My father wasn't shown much of that in his final days.
Chuck: Do you think I care about your failed attempt at investigative journalism. My father's dead because of your father.
Chuck: Family? I don't have a family.
Chuck: He was coming to fight for you. Talk about dying for nothing.
Chuck: As soon as that will is read, and I get my money you'll never see me again.
Chuck: When are you going to get it? We are not related.
Chuck: We talked about this. You are not my girlfriend.
Blair: Because I love you.
Chuck: Well that's too bad.
Chuck: Well. Tell me what's the point in paying to know something if she's gong to tell everyone anyway.
Chuck: I just can't believe you'd want this to become public knowledge.
Lily: What is that?
Chuck: Oh it's exactly what you think it is.
14. In The Realm Of The Basses
Chuck: Hello to you too, lover. Long time no see.
Blair: Put that out!
Chuck: You didn't say the magic word.
Chuck: Uncle Jack. What a surprise. How've you been?
Chuck: It was hash, actually. I find it gives a softer high.
Chuck: Everyone. It has been a pleasure.
Chuck: Oh that would be rude. Since I'm throwing a party here tonight. I just posted it on Gossip Girl. Maybe you'll grace us with a dance.
Blair: Chuck. Stop. All this doesn't help. It isn't you.
Chuck: Wrong. Bart may have been a bastard, but he saw me better than anyone. I'm simply living up to my potential. It's time to let go of your fantasies.
Blair: I don't believe you.
Chuck: That's your business. Now is that it? Or were you going to tell me you loved me again?
Chuck: That's the problem with an open invitation. Can't keep out the hoi polloi.
Dan: What do you know about my dad and Lily?
Chuck: So the cat's out of the bag.
Chuck: You know the funny thing is, I was going to keep Lily's secret. You buried the arson story on my dad. This makes us even. You're not the firstborn Humphrey. So if you were planning on inheriting the family estate. I'd make other arrangements.
Chuck: It's done as soon as you tell her... Sharing a sibling is a bit much, even for me.
Eric: Welcome back. How was Thailand?
Chuck: I honestly don't remember.
Eric: You should come home, Chuck.
Chuck: I think I'll take the view from above. It was nice having you as my little brother.
Chuck: I was at the party. I'm not really that into it.
Jack: Chuck, your father wouldn't have wanted this.
Chuck: Dear old Dad? Unfortunately all I know is what he didn't want. Which is me. I'm Chuck Bass! No one cares.
15. Gone with the will
Chuck: I know my father. There'll be so many strings attached I'll look like a marionette. He wouldn't miss his last chance to put me in my place.
Chuck: Girls sleeping over.
Jack: Yes. Please.
Chuck: I'll allow it.
Chuck: I think I can guess. "You're a disappointment of a son." "I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already." "Why do you wear so much purple."
Chuck: No, Jack's right. My father can't be one way my whole life then all of the sudden he's okay. It's nice that he finally decided I'm worthy. But I don't want it. If you wait it, you can have it.
Chuck: It's like he's setting me up to fail from beyond the grave.
Blair: You really think Bart would leave his whole company to you if he didn't think you could do it?
Chuck: It doesn't make sense. My father never trusted me with anything.
Chuck: If you want to stay in New York, I'll find a place for you in the company. I know it's going to be a long road, but I'm ready now.
Chuck: I'm having dinner with Blair.
Chuck: She's been a good friend to me.
Chuck: I don't need your help. Stop trying to play wife.
Chuck: You're my only family. How could you do this to me?
Chuck: I'm sorry. I screwed up.
16. You've got Yale
Chuck: No, I told you. Under 18 and I want verification. I don't care where you have to import them from. I want them young and unstable.
Chuck: Maybe I'll show them they made the wrong choice instead. Oh wait, you're already doing that for me, aren't you?
Lily: Charles. I didn't expect to see you today.
Chuck: Or ever if I had it my way.
Lily: Yes, well I missed you too.
Chuck: I'm trying to do something. I really wanted to do it on my own, but that's not working. I'm thinking you're the only person left who can help. What do you say?
Chuck: All my usual moves haven't worked. Jack is blood. He thinks too much like me, sees me coming. And the way he's running the business I worry everything my father had worked for will be lost. Since you're part of the company now I thought you might care.
Chuck: Let me educate you.
Chuck: You say you want to be family. But if you really meant it, you wouldn't parade your mistress in public. You'd have some tact, some respect.
Chuck: I can't believe you. You're actually going to take your half-price hustler out on the town tonight.
Chuck: The black market's not what it used to be.
Chuck: If your people don't come up with anything, maybe we can try #26.
Lily: Crash Jack in plane. The Bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.
Chuck: There's insurance.
Chuck: Um... Look, I know what happened with my father was an accident.
Lily: It was a terrible accident.
Chuck: And, uh, if the offer still stands, I'd like to move back in.
17. Carrnal Knowledge
Chuck: I'm not sure. But I think last night may have been the greatest night of my life.
Chuck: Yesterday I received an envelope. Inside was a business card with an address, a date and a time on it. No name. I assumed it was some overly designed invitation to a business meeting. But I arrived at the address it was something different entirely.
Chuck: This was the place. I know it. There were velvet curtains blocking this hallway. There were women wearing masks, lying on a divan right where this piano is.
Chuck: The drink. So you drugged me and then snuck back to Connecticut?
Chuck: Look. The whole "Eyes Wide Shut" mystery has been fun. But if my father was part of this group I have a right to know who they are.
Chuck: Father. What were you involved in.
18. The Age Of Dissonance
Chuck: Oh lucky day. Carter Baizen, back in town.
Chuck: What are you doing with this loser?
Dorota: Miss Blair is out, Mr. Chuck.
Chuck: I'll wait.
19. The Grandfather
Chuck: I went to see her last week. She never came home. It's not like our girl to be out all night. I know something's going on. This is more than her having her dirty laundry aired on Gossip Girl.
Serena: She, um, she got rejected by Yale.
Chuck: The only thing she wanted more than me. That would be painful.
Serena: Chuck, she's embarrassed. So we just need to give her some time to lick her wounds.
Chuck: Maybe I can lick them for her.
Chuck: Serena thinks you're in some kind of trouble. Seems to me your only problem is having a party all by your lonesome.
Carter: Except she's not alone.
Chuck: What are you doing with this insect?
Serena: Hey. We have a problem.
Chuck: Let me guess. Carter Baizen. As usual you're a step behind.
Chuck: Enough! I'm not going to play "Where's Waldorf" all night.
Chuck: Great. Looks like Polanski's in town.
Chuck: Go find Dan. I'll make sure this social eulogy doesn't get out of hand.
Chuck: What are you doing? Trying to destroy the old you? Burn every bridge? It won't help. Believe me I've tried.
Chuck: Because I know you better than I know myself.
Chuck: I'm losing her.
Serena: Well then fight for her. She did for you.
Chuck: I tried. And failed.
20. Remains of the J
Chuck: I do my cardio in the evenings. The morning is for business, which I am late for.
Eric: Does this feel like a sitcom to anyone else?
Dan: More like a reality show.
Chuck: Then I can vote you off.
Chuck: Friends? That makes total sense. There's no spark between you two. Never was. You're like a green twig and a soggy match, a rusty hammer and an icy nail.
Blair: Nate and I had.. had plenty of spark. Better than that fireworks.
Chuck: That was us.
Chuck: I came up with several excellent ideas. You just shot them down.
Vanessa: Yeah, because most of them involved leaking the Chuck-Vanessa sex tape on the Internet.
Chuck: We don't have to leak the tape if you don't want to.
21. Seder Anything
Chuck: The Prodigal Daughter returns. How was Spain?
Chuck: Well there was a detour with a BoHo barista. But then I realized I'm a seventeen year billionaire. With tremendous stamina. Tonight I have a date with the Bolshoi's lead ballerina. By the way, I saw Poppy Lifton at the Rose Bar last week. It's funny how she can be there yet still be in Spain with you.
Chuck: What a shock. The girl from Brooklyn is a renter.
Chuck: Blair is changing.
Nate: How do you mean?
Chuck: She could have had me. But she chose you. Now she just needs someone to believe in her.
Chuck: I never apologized for what happened last year. I deeply regret my actions of that night. If you ever do move in here I'll make sure I'm not around.
22. Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Chuck: Murray Hill? Even your mother is too hip for this zip code.
Chuck: I see you're wearing your beret. Who are we spying on tonight?
Chuck: If you needed to mark your territory so badly, Nathaniel, maybe you should just pee on her.
23. The Wrath of Con
Chuck: Good. Because I like to be the one doing the entering. To each their own holy water.
Chuck: Why is it when you say ritual, I think human sacrifice?
Chuck: In other words, she's a faux-cialite.
Chuck: We know the rest, it's called a Ponzi scheme.
Chuck: His suits never did fit well.
Chuck: I sense aspiration, yearning, striving to be accepted. Then I sense this appealing counter note of sincerity ... This is the story of a young girl who is enjoying her first taste of the spoils of dirty oil. It's perfect.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Chuck: Because I love her, and I can't make her happy.
24. Valley Girls
Chuck: She's a socialite mistakenly accused of stealing a bracelet, I doubt they're working her over with the phone book.
Chuck: You didn't think you were the only one who knew about the scrapbook, did you?
25. The Goodbye Gossip Girl
Chuck: I prefer to talk after.
Chuck: I was in Paris, only to get your favorite macaroons from Pierre Hermé
Chuck: I was a coward running away again. But everywhere I went, you caught up with me. So I had to come back.
Blair: I want to believe you, but I can't. You've hurt me too many times.
Chuck: Then believe me this time.
Blair: That's it?
Chuck: I love you, too.
Blair: Like, can you say it twice?
Chuck: I love you, I love you, that's three, four I love you...
ahhh yes it's end :D
Again it's long, but we all know chuckles has a lot of awesome quotes.
sorry for any mistakes