Bart Bass: So. Your new step-brother told me about your problem at school. Frankly, I wasn't surprised given your propensity for recklessness and adventure.
Serena van der Woodsen: I'm sorry?
Bart Bass: Don't tell your mother, but... I made a call.
Serena van der Woodsen: You did what?
Bart Bass: It was harder than usual. That new headmistress of yours is a new peice of work. I had to go over her head. Sorry I couldn't get the charges completely dropped, but, at least I got you minimal sentence.
Gossip Girl: One thing about being on the inside, once you get there you don't always get to choose where you stand... or sit.
Chuck Bass: [Chuck comes over, puts his hand on her knee but she tosses it away] I was just looking our for my family. The new Van Der Woodsen-Bass library should be completed for Eric's graduation.
Bart Bass: I can see that Lily and I are going to have our hands full with the two of you.
Serena van der Woodsen: Okay. Will you excuse me? I need some air.
Chuck Bass: Blair doesn't even want you. She's been crystal about that since we got back.
Nate Archiblaid: Didn't seem that way when she kissed me at the pool.
Chuck Bass: She kissed you?
Nate Archiblaid: Well I kissed her, but... yup.
Chuck Bass: Was she like... into it? Or was she more like...
Nate Archiblaid: Of course she was into it, man. What do you think?
Chuck Bass: Yeah I know, but, uh. You know Blair.
Nate Archiblaid: [suggestively] Yes. I. Do.
Chuck Bass: How glad are you to see our families merge, Sis?
Serena van der Woodsen: So glad that if you ever call me that again it'll be the last thign you ever say, Chuck.
Chuck Bass: I love it. Our first brother-sister squabble. Well I hope you're going to make yourself available for more missed childhood memories. Bathing together, for example.
Chuck Bass: What ever happened to don't speak until spoken to?
Dan Humphrey: I just saw you with that key, I know you had it at the party.
Chuck Bass: Poor little Humprey-Dumpty. Look, regardless of who you're currently sleeping with, you and I come from different worlds.
Vanessa Abrams: [after being bribed] You're sick.
Chuck Bass: [taking videotape] You're welcome.
Blair Waldorf: Enough with the blackmail. Aren't you bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.
Chuck Bass: Excuse me.
[excuses the girl away from him that he was talking to]
Chuck Bass: I didn't say forever. Just until the sight of the two of you together doesn't turn my stomach.
Blair Waldorf: And when will that be?
Chuck Bass: Only time will tell I'm afraid, so unless you want dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle I encourage patience and restraint.
Blair Waldorf: Isn't there someone else you can torture?
Chuck Bass: Probably but I choose you.
Chuck Bass: Why don't I turn that one piece into a no-piece.
Serena van der Woodsen: Find a floatie to talk to Chuck.
Chuck Bass: Ya know if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister, and you know what they say the family that plays together stays together.
Serena van der Woodsen: Ah, incest the universal taboo. One of the only one's you haven't violated yet.
Chuck Bass: Well I'm game if you are.
[Serena starts to act like she's going to kiss him but instead knocks his drink out of his hand]
Blair Waldorf: [Chuck grabs Blair's arm] Hey let go of me Bass!
Chuck Bass: Drop your Archibald habit first.
Blair Waldorf: You know I already have.
Chuck Bass: Really? A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal, let's not waste time denying.
Blair Waldorf: You know what, I'm tired of this go ahead and tell him.
Chuck Bass: Really, you want me to tell him how you slept with me and faked your virginity for him.
Blair Waldorf: I'll just tell him your lying and who do you think he'll believe? You who bangs anything in his field of vision or me his pure and honest girlfriend of many years.
Chuck Bass: Oh now he'll believe me.
Blair Waldorf: Why?
Chuck Bass: I have proof.
[Vanessa had filmed them on camera]
Chuck Bass: Good eye docu-girl I'll take the tape now.
Blair Waldorf: You knew she was watching? This is my house that tape belongs to me.
Vanessa Abrams: Actually this is my footage and thanks to both of you I think I got a new angle on my subject.
Dan Humphrey: [Dan walks up] Hey Vanessa let's get out of here.
Chuck Bass: If you think I'm gonna let you walk out of here without that tape your crazy!
[he grabs Vanessa's arm agressively]
Vanessa Abrams: Let go of me!
Dan Humphrey: Hey! Last time I checked I still owe you a black eye so unless this is you coming to claim it, stay away from her.
"Gossip Girl: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate (#1.13)" (2008)
Blair Waldorf: Game over.
Chuck Bass: It's not over until I say it's over.
Blair Waldorf: Well, have fun playing with yourself then.
Chuck Bass: Let me be more succinct. You held a certain fascination... when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. Now... now you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would.
Blair Waldorf: Look, if you were going to tell Nate you would have done so in Monaco but you don't want him to hate you and you know he would. Game over.
Chuck Bass: Game's not over 'til I say it is.
Blair Waldorf: Then have fun playing with yourself.
Serena van der Woodsen: Hi, Chuck.
Chuck Bass: Please, call me brother.
Serena van der Woodsen: I need to talk to you.
Chuck Bass: About getting knocked up? I must say I'm a little disappointed you weren't more careful.
Nate Archibald: [Nate comes up to Chuck and throws him on the limo] Did you sleep with her huh? You son of a bitch I would've killed you!
Chuck Bass: Look can we talk about this without your hands around my neck?
Nate Archibald: Did you give it to her like you do those other girls?
Chuck Bass: Yes Nathaniel! I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back!
Nate Archibald: Oh for somehow you screwing Blair for sport is my fault?
Chuck Bass: It wasn't for sport. She needed someone and I was there.
Nate Archibald: Oh so you cared about her?
Chuck Bass: You guys had broken up.
Nate Archibald: For how long? A week? An hour?
Chuck Bass: Look I am sorry alright, I know how long you and I have been best friends, okay?
Nate Archibald: No it's not okay Chuck, from now on you just stay away from me.
Chuck Bass: Nate...
Nate Archibald: Did you hear what I said? You stay the hell away from me Chuck!
Chuck Bass: Show's over!
Blair Waldorf: You're all I have left.
Chuck Bass: Actually, you don't even have me.
Blair Waldorf: Enough.
Chuck Bass: I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. But now you're like... one of the Arabians my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore and I can't see why anyone else would.
"Gossip Girl: Seventeen Candles (#1.8)" (2007)
Chuck Bass: [to Blair] Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty.
Blair Waldorf: Do you... 'like' me?
Chuck Bass: Define like.
Blair Waldorf: You have got to be kidding me.
Chuck Bass: How do you think I feel? I can't sleep! I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach... fluttering.
Blair Waldorf: Butterflies? Oh no, no, no, no no.
Chuck Bass: Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty.
Chuck Bass: Not as much as I enjoyed the memory of you purring in my ear which I have been replaying over and over...
Blair Waldorf: Well erase the tape!
Chuck Bass: Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on something worthy of its beauty... I really am sorry.
Blair Waldorf: Oh my God! Do you like me?
Chuck Bass: Define like...
Chuck Bass: Are you ready for your present?
[Blair grabs his hair and pulls]
Chuck Bass: Owww! If you wanted to play ROUGH all you had to do was ask!
Blair Waldorf: You nauseate me!
Chuck Bass: All this talk about how you have to be with Nate or the world will end. Face it, it's over!
Blair Waldorf: You sound like a jealous boyfriend
Chuck Bass: Yeah right! You wish!
Blair Waldorf: No. You wish!
Chuck Bass: Please you forget who you're talking to
Blair Waldorf: So do you. Do you... like me?
Chuck Bass: Define "like"?
Blair Waldorf: Ohh! Ahh! You have got to be kidding! I do not believe this
Chuck Bass: How do you think I feel! I haven't sleep, I feel sick; like there is something in my stomach... fluttering.
Blair Waldorf: Butterflies? Oh, no,no,no,no,no! No,no,no! This is not happening!
Chuck Bass: Believe me no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.
Blair Waldorf: Chuck, you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered!
Chuck Bass: Fine! It wasn't that great anyway.
Blair Waldorf: Thanks!