Some are reallly funny!
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears
Chuck Norris pajamas
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a
magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back.He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris was not alowed to be a part of UFC,NFL,PGA,NBA,NHL or any Olympic event for fear that too many deaths would occure…
When God said “Let there be light”, Chuck Norris said “Say please”
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on. Its not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
there was once a time when some people actually believed there was a better martial artist than chuck norris. when mr. norris heard of this, he quickly found the accused master of martial arts and roundhouse kicked him in the face so hard it caused a temporary rip in space that sent the poor man to another dimesion. this is where bruce lee currently resides.
the japanese arent afraid of a 300 foot tall monster. “Godzilla” is japanese for chuck norris.
Chuch Norris once beat Super Mario Brothers 3 without touching the controller. He just stared at the T.V. untill it beat itself.
The first time Chuck Norris ever performed a roundhouse kick, the force triggered the Big Bang.
Eclipses are really just Chuck Norris round house kicking the sun.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need an umbrella… rain is to afraid to hit him.
Chuck Norris does not recive bad luck because, to other people, he is bad luck.
Chuck Norris can’t swim, not because he doesn’t try, it’s because the water jumps out of the way when he comes close.