The reality is, Damon will never find true happiness without Bonnie. This is just the facts. I say this not because I think so, it's because I know so. I am confident in my instincts and in my intuition and those things also go for fiction as well. Ever since the beginning, since I have started reading this series and also all of the short stories as well, which to me also have very great significance and purpose to the TVD story as whole, I always knew that when it came to Damon, that it has always been Bonnie from the start. Even though Damon and Bonnie never had that many moments together in the series, I just felt as a reader, going back to The Original Trilogy, that Damon/Bonnie's connection was something different, was something special. I know this sounds weird but I could feel what I was reading. There is a special spark in the Damon and Bonnie moments. Psychic intuition does run on my mother's side of the family (my aunt, whom I'm very close to is a psychic/fortune teller and my grandmother was a psychic/spiritual empath), so my intuition is hereditary. LOL. As a reader of these books and even since the very first novel The Awakening, I just knew that Damon and Bonnie had something special.
Even though their moments together were so seldom seen and so under the radar for the vast majority of the series, I always knew that it was something more, something significantly more in depth then what it appeared to be on the surface. But the thing is, most readers never really acknowledge the Bamon connection because for the most part, it was heavily overshadowed and overpowered by the love triangle in the first trilogy between Elena/Stefan/Damon. But if a reader is just basing their thoughts and opinions on solely the Original trilogy itself, then they really cannot judge the Bamon connection in any significant depth. How can any reader of these TVD novels really understand the true meaning of Bamon's connection unless they have read After Hours. That one story about Damon and Bonnie, is probably the MOST telling about their connection, even way more telling then any moments that they have shared in the books IMO. But in regards to what I was previously saying and this is just what I strongly feel deep down in my "psychic", intuitive self. DAMON SALVATORE WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITHOUT BONNIE MCCULLOUGH.
Damon will never be happy without Bonnie or will never have an immortal life which is happy and contented without Bonnie McCullough in it. I;ve said this before and I;ll say it again. Bonnie McCullough embodies absolutely everything that Damon has been searching for, yearning for, needing and aching for for over 500 years, since the beginning of his life, including his mortal and immortal lives combined. Bonnie embodies everything that Damon needs so that he can be whole again, so all of that deeply buried inner emptiness and hurt and anger that Damon has kept locked away deep down in the corners of his deeper inner soul for over 500 years for self-preservation can be HEALED. The truth is, I look back at After Hours and to me, that story really proved to me how deep and significantly meaningful their connection really is. There's this vampire, this beast who basically comes out of nowhere, unexpectedly and unusually saves an innocent human girls life, not just any human girl, a girl who also happens to have fragile and vulnerable characteristics. But not just that, the fact that Damon didn't harm her or take advantage of her REALLY SAID IT ALL. And I know that there are people out there who would try to make an excuse up to try and undermine what Damon did or didn't do in this story, but I know what I read and what I read was that this vampire, who's a harmful beast did not, and refused to under any circumstances, to harm this human girl, this one random human girl whom he doesn't even know. Why would he even do that? Why didn't he bite her? Take advantage of her? There is a much deeper reason why he didn't do so. And anyone who tries to make excuses for the real reason why Damon didn't bite her, they are in denial.
First of all, THIS IS DAMON. Second, DAMON IS A CENTURIES OLD HUNTER, WHO'S FUCKING HUNGRY. You really think Damon gives a shit about who the person is whom he's biting and killing at the same time, as long as he gets what he wants, which is his meal? The answer is NO. The fact of the matter is, DAMON COULD NOT HARM BONNIE. Damon constantly uses excuses as to why he didn't harm her or bite her but to me, that's just what they are; excuses. The reality is, DAMON COULD NOT BITE BONNIE BECAUSE SOMETHING DEEP, DEEP DOWN INSIDE OF HIM JUST COULDN'T DO IT. Damon is impulsive, ruthless, careless, uncaring and doesn't give a shit about the well-being of human beings. He uses them and he feeds off of them. Damon in the books, is known to have a significantly very violent history and he kills humans not just for food, but he kills and feeds off of humans for sport, for fun. Damon had absolutely no regard for preserving innocent human life whatsoever, so it's just really surprising to me that after all of the centuries of hunting and killing innocent people as a vampire, why Damon would not even consider doing such a thing to some random human girl, whom he happened to unexpectedly save at just a really wrong and unusual time and unusual situation. But beyond that, it's not just about that one moment between Damon and Bonnie that really expresses how deep the Bamon connection really is.
The truth is and to make my point clearer, Damon has been searching for over 500 years for Bonnie. The reason why Damon is the way that he is, is because he has been missing that one special thing, that one special thing ('it' being a person/someone) who could "awaken" him from the inside, from deep inside of him. Damon has been through a lot in over 500 years and he has lived a lot of life, endured a lot of tragedy and he has overcome lots of obstacles and many things during his immortal life. The problem is that because Damon has experienced all of these experiences, which have been inherently dark and traumatizing/traumatic in nature, he has also shut off any part of his humanity as a result. He has shut off his soul; causing him to shut off his feelings completely. And because he has done this and has suppressed his deeply buried inner emotions for over 500 years for strictly self-preservation, Damon has lost his way in terms of what it really is to FEEL. Because of this, Damon needed that one special thing, that he has been subconsciously yearning for for his entire existence, both as a mortal and an immortal; to make him alive again, to awaken him, to ignite that inner fire inside of him. And nobody could do that for Damon in the 500 years that he has been walking the Earth. Not ONE person. BONNIE CHANGED THAT. With Damon meeting Bonnie in such a way that he did in After Hours, this was the first time (according to Damon's dark and traumatic back history) that Damon actually felt something so much deeper then what he has ever really endured and felt during both his human life and his vampire life combined. Because of this sudden ignition inside of Damon, this sudden "wake up call" which began because of Bonnie, Damon has slowly begun to go through a roller coaster ride. He's embarked on a journey of his own, although the journey is not a journey of hunting and killing innocent human life, but rather a spiritual journey in which he is preserving human life and feeling for human life. Because Damon never knew or understood any of this before. And this was overwhelming for him.
The problem with Damon is that he can never admit things to himself. He can never admit what he is really feeling deep down inside to himself. And this especially goes for his connection with Bonnie. The way I see it, Damon is always going to be miserable, hurt, angry, feel abandoned and lonely deep within and inside himself as long as he is obsessing over something that HE WILL NEVER HAVE. And not only that, he's always going to be excruciatingly miserable as long as he keeps denying what he really feels at the deep corners of his inner soul. As long as Damon keeps denying what he really feels for Bonnie, he will never find real, true and ULTIMATE happiness. The sad thing is, as long as he keeps denying these deep and intense feelings for Bonnie and prolonging this denial for how ever long and letting his EGO get the best of him, which is what he is used to in the first place, then Damon is always going to be miserable and he is going to continue to be miserable and feel abandoned and lonely deep inside of himself. However, there will come a point and time, I believe, when Damon is really going to have to face the feelings and face what he feels for Bonnie deep down inside, otherwise, if he doesn't, it is going to be absolutely unbearable to stand and it is going to be excruciatingly painful for Damon. A person can only deny such deepness for so long, before it just becomes overwhelming and consuming to the point where it can potentially cause emotional and mental anguish for a prolonged period of time.
This is what happened to Stefan in the very beginning of the series. The longer he denied the connection between he and Elena and ran away from her at the same time, the longer Stefan prolonged the deeply buried inner pain he was feeling; spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Stefan didn't finally begin to be really truly happy and find happiness from the inside, from his soul, from his spirit until HE LET GO. Not only let go of denying what was so obviously there from the very beginning, but also let go of all the hurt, the anguish, the deeply buried pain, the self-hatred, the inner darkness, everything that Stefan had kept suppressed for over 500 years while living in fear in the shadows. The difference is that Stefan let go sooner, because he understood the concept of feeling and emotions. Stefan has and always was more in tune with his emotions'. Stefan wanted to be accepted and loved unconditionally by someone. And Elena wanted the same thing; she wanted unconditional love, she wanted something more. So they were 'ready' for each other, to find each other. Stefan and Elena were ready for unconditional love and acceptance. The difference with Damon is that he didn't and STILL doesn't know what he wants, because he hasn't figured himself out fully yet. Is he figuring himself out and finding himself right now? Absolutely. But then again, this is the major point of Damon's spiritual journey and evolvement throughout this series in the first place. While I feel that every character in this entire series plays a crucial role in Damon's spiritual journey and evolvement, BONNIE IS THE MAJOR, CRUCIAL AND CORE ROLE. She IS Damon's spiritual journey. If it weren't for Bonnie, Damon wouldn't be evolving the way that he is right now. A lot of people would like to give the actual kudos to Elena when it comes to Damon's spiritual journey, but IMO, they couldn't be more wrong. While it is true, that Elena has helped Damon on this spiritual journey into finding his real self, she is not the reason for it beginning in the first place. It is all Bonnie. It started with Bonnie and it always has been Bonnie. And also, Damon is the reason why Bonnie evolved herself in this series, why she developed the strong, powerful psychic powers that she has over the course of the series, why she has began to mature and evolve so much as an individual. It was Damon who instigated this. Bonnie's maturity didn't happen over night, it was an ongoing process. The same way that Damon's journey onto redemption and finding himself is also a process as well. And for Damon, it has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
Because of all that has happened, Damon finally has to, after 500 years of not doing so, look deep within himself and see and explore himself in a much deeper way then he has ever done in his entire life or existence. For the most part and from what I have read so far in the books, this has been scary and extremely painful for Damon. Damon is starting to feel all of these different emotions and feelings that he never thought he would feel ever in his entire existence and for Damon, it is excruciatingly painful. Because Damon is going through a complete spiritual transformation and this transformation involves finding himself and revealing his "shadow self", the side of his individualism and his being that he has been denying for his entire existence. I can tell when I read the books from The Return trilogy, from his POV, how he is struggling with all of it. But the truth is, as hard as it has been for Damon to show "feelings" or even emotions other then anger, obsessiveness, jealousy and hatred, the fact that he STILL shows feelings such as selflessness, giving, compassion, kindness, tenderness for ONE HUMAN GIRL(Bonnie) whom he "doesn't know", it really tells alot.
This is why Damon will never be happy without Bonnie. But the problem is not Bonnie. The problem is Damon. The reason why Damon will not and cannot be happy is because of one simple thing: DAMON WILL NEVER BE TRULY HAPPY UNTIL HE LETS GO. The reality is, Damon can never fully get onto the path of true, ultimate happiness until he lets go of the one thing that is holding him back: ELENA. Elena holds Damon back. She stops him from letting go and letting the real, true love in (Bonnie), letting the real, true love that Damon's deep inner soul strongly yearns for, desires and has desired and yearned for since the very beginning of his existence. How is Damon ever going to be happy as long as he is obsessing over Elena? The girl who is so deeply, eternally and passionately and unconditionally in love with his younger brother (Stefan)? Damon is always going to be second in Elena's eyes, no matter her deep feelings for him. HE IS SECOND BEST TO ELENA. Because as long as Stefan is walking the Earth, for Elena, IT IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE STEFAN. And even if Stefan happened to die, it will STILL be Stefan for Elena, because SHE WILL DIE WITH HIM. When it comes to Bonnie though, some people believe that Damon would be just "settling" for Bonnie, because Elena loves and has chosen Stefan. NO. BONNIE HAS ALWAYS BEEN DAMON'S FIRST CHOICE. She is the ONLY ONE for Damon. And even if there were five million other girls introduced into the story as possible love interests for Damon, Bonnie would STILL be the one for Damon. When it comes to Damon, Bonnie is the only one who can complete him, make him WHOLE. And not only that, complete him and make him feel whole without even trying, effortlessly. Damon and Bonnie are the Yin to each other's Yang; they complete each other and they complement each other in absolutely every single level and every single way imaginable. I honestly can't see any other girl that fits Damon Salvatore perfectly other then Bonnie McCullough. These are just the facts and this is just the reality. And the sooner Damon comes to terms with this, the sooner Damon will find happiness. Because as long as he is chasing Elena, Damon is always going to feel complete and total darkness, loneliness, emptiness, numbness. Bonnie is Damon's LIGHT. And it makes sense, considering that in After Hours, Bonnie is known to be "The Last Reach Towards Light" for Damon.
The only way Damon can find true and complete bliss and happiness is if he finally LET'S GO. Let's go of the thing that is holding him back. Damon is letting his mind control him, he is letting his ego/mind tell him what he is really feeling instead of listening to his heart, listening to his soul and what it really desires and needs. Elena embodies the opposite of everything that Damon has been looking for deep down inside of his inner being. She is what Damon desires in his mind/ego, which is what he has been used to for his whole existence. So for Damon to love Elena is and say that she is the only girl that he has ever really loved, means nothing. It is just words. Someone can say something, it doesn't mean that is what is truly deep down in their heart and their soul. This is not always the case but sometimes it is. In Damon and Elena's case, this is the truth. It's basically up to Damon now, it's his decision, his choices. Damon can choose to continue living in misery, living in darkness, suppressing all of the negative emotions he's kept locked forever (Elena), or he can choose the path of light; the path of true and unconditional love, acceptance, happiness, joy and bliss for all of eternity (Bonnie). DAMON'S HAPPINESS LIES IN HIS OWN HANDS. Nobody else's. Not Elena's, not Stefan's, not Bonnie's. ONLY DAMON. He can choose to continue to deny his deep feelings for Bonnie or he can accept them and move forward and grow. Whether or not he chooses to move forward will determine whether Damon finds true love and ultimate freedom and happiness or not. But the reality is, the connection that Damon and Bonnie have for each other is REAL, and they are deep and intense. And because of this, this is why Damon will never be happy without Bonnie.
The way I see it when it comes to Damon, "An ideal mate is not what is on the outside. An ideal mate is what is on THE INSIDE."
Thank you for reading.