So, I'm an avid fan of the TVD novels series. As all of you already know by now, I am a HUGE Book Bamon fan. In fact, I am more of a Book Bamon supporter then a Show Bamon supporter, however, at one point, I loved Show Bamon as well. But a lot of things have changed in regards to my passion and support for Show Bamon that I have decided to just stick with Book Bamon for now. Maybe things will change in the future when it comes to Show Bamon but some major adjustments will need to be made in terms of Damon's characterization and also, increasing the amount of character exploration on the part of Bonnie Bennett. But anyways, this article is not about Show Bamon. Which is quite strange considering that most of the articles that I have posted on here are about Show Bamon. So I figured that I would write a little article about Book Bamon. So again, I ADORE Book Bamon. I think that for the most part, Book Bamon are a highly precious and beautiful pairing/dynamic (I'm not going to call them or refer to Book Bamon as a couple because I don't want to be labelled "delusional" by a certain fan base LOL). I have supported Book Bamon since the age of 13 and I have always been highly passionate about them. Even for a pairing that doesn't have that many scenes in the novel series, every single interaction between the individual characters of Damon and Bonnie just lights up the page and not only that, lights up my heart and makes me smile at the same time. Book Bamon is a highly unique pairing and I personally find the Bamon dynamic in the books to be the most interesting dynamic in the series. Of course, in comparison to the other dynamics in the books, such as Stefan/Elena and Damon/Elena, the two dynamics which equate to the concept of the love triangle within this series, the Bamon dynamic is a refreshing break away from the triangle drama centralized in the story.
What makes me love Book Bamon so much is that their storyline and relationship is not centred around Stefan/Elena/Damon. It's a separate dynamic and I like that. Damon and Bonnie in the books have their own separate relationship away from the books and the short story After Hours was proof of this. Many people like to say that Damon and Bonnie are not a romantic relationship or that they don't have any romantic potential. And all I have to say to the people who think such a thing is that I strongly disagree. Since the beginning, I have always gotten the sense that there was something quite significant going on between Damon and Bonnie. And the fact that this significant thing going on between D/B was so under the radar for the most part throughout the series, only made me that much more intrigued with their dynamic/relationship. I have always viewed Bonnie within the story as the "underdog", especially in regards to winning Damon's affections and heart. Because to be quite honest, as long as I have been reading the TVD novel series, I have always gotten the sense that when it came to Damon, it was always going to be Elena. I know that sounds really sad and disappointing that I am admitting that as a Bamon fan but I am just being truthful. I think part of the reason of what made me believe that for Damon, it was always going to be Elena was because of his obvious and blatant obsession with her since the beginning.
Now that everything has become clear and now that I have gotten older and read the entire series again as an adult, I have finally realized that for Damon, it hasn't always been Elena. Yes, I loved Book Bamon since I first read the novels when I was 13 but I still felt like there was absolutely no hope for their dynamic because it was all about the triangle. The love triangle between E/S/D was the core front and centre storyline when it came to the TVD novel series. And still today, for the most part, it still is. I hate to admit it, but the love triangle is the central story of this series. As someone who inherently despises love triangles, I have always found the relationships and dynamics outside of the love triangles to be much more fascinating and interesting and this is why I have such a love for Book Bamon. Now, it regards to Damon and his feelings for Bonnie, I think he has very strong and powerful feelings for her deep down within himself. Damon cannot come to realize them and also admit them for some strange reason. On the contrary, I can't say that Damon really truly loves Elena at all. Damon and Elena is an OBSESSION to the nth degree. The difference between Damon/Elena and Damon/Bonnie is that Damon is able to admit his feelings for Elena because they are all from his mind; it is simply a mental and physical connection that he has to her. Damon doesn't stray from admitting feelings for Elena in the books, because for the most part, he is used to girls like Elena. He is used to chasing girls like her, he is used to pursuing girls like her. So therefore, Damon has absolutely no problem with displaying these feelings that he has for Elena openly.
Damon simply desires Elena. He has intense passion for her and Damon and Elena's connection is all about lust and sexual desire. There is absolutely no meaning and no depth to their connection whatsoever. Damon only desires Elena because of shallow purposes such as her physical appearance, the fact that she is this drop dead gorgeous blond who all of the guys want and fawn all over. Damon desires and lusts after Elena because she has a similar personality to what he has, which is a passionate, headstrong and selfish personality. And because of that, because of similarities in their personalities, Damon feels "comfortable" around Elena in that sense, because it gives him a chance to not reveal his true inner self, the shadow self which is the "real" Damon. Damon being selfish, self-absorbed, careless, impulsive, thoughtless, uncaring, etc; Damon chases Elena because he can be those things around Elena and his real true inner self won't come out around her because Elena doesn't bring out that side out of him, his shadow self. The side of himself in which Damon has been concealing for basically his entire existence. This is why Damon Salvatore denies his feelings for Bonnie McCullough.
Bonnie McCullough brings out the real Damon. Ever since the beginning of the series, in After Hours, ever since Damon and Bonnie's very first meeting, something happened to Damon when he first met Bonnie. Something pretty deep was set off or triggered inside of Damon which caused something inside of him to seriously change. The reason why Damon went through this whole redemption arc and spiritual journey throughout the series is because of one person and one person only. And this person is not and never has been Elena Gilbert. No. This person is none other then Bonnie McCullough. When it comes right down to it, Bonnie McCullough is Damon's Salvatore's shadow self. She brings out the real Damon which has been in hiding for over 5 centuries. And because Bonnie does this to Damon, Damon is intensely scared and fearful. And because he is scared and fearful, he runs away by denying his feelings for Bonnie. Bonnie is Damon's wake up call. She triggered something pretty deep inside of him during the first meeting. She triggered his spiritual evolution and evolvement in this series. Damon and Bonnie met for a reason and their relationship has significant purpose and meaning. Damon and Bonnie weren't just put together for absolutely no reason at all. I know this sounds weird but a part of me feels like some unknown force had a helping hand in Damon and Bonnie meeting the way they did in After Hours. I still have many questions about Damon and Bonnie's first meeting and how he even knew that Bonnie was all by her lonesome in that library. Again, their first meeting leads me to believe that Damon and Bonnie are nothing short of "star-crossed". And to be quite honest, I really think that was L.J. Smith's original intention when it came to Book Bamon.
But anyways, the main reason why Damon denies what he feels for Bonnie is because he is running from himself. Damon has a hard time finally coming to terms with the true individual he is on the inside and actually facing the individual who he has kept in hiding for his entire life both as a mortal and as an immortal. Damon can't admit his feelings for Bonnie, because he can't face himself. Damon chooses to continue to deny his feelings for Bonnie because he's afraid that if he does admit his feelings for her and he does come to terms with the deep feelings that he feels inside for her, that he is not going to like the individual that he sees and the individual that he has been hiding within him forever, his shadow self. Like I have said before, Bonnie is Damon's shadow self, she is simply his HUMANITY. Bonnie represents the innocence that Damon once had as a child; she represents that little inner child which has been guarding Damon's soul for all of his life. The reason why Bonnie has been the only person in Damon's entire life to crack The Great Stone surrounding his soul is because Bonnie represents his inner humanity, she represents his essence. Elena was never able to do this naturally, she was never able to understand him. The only time when Elena could understand him was when she was bestowed angelic powers from the afterlife and this gave her the ability to use her powers in order to see inside Damon's mind and his soul so that she could get a better understanding of him. But Bonnie already understood him fully as an individual since the very beginning, since the original trilogy. Elena has had to basically struggle to understand Damon, even though their personality traits are so similar in nature. How is it that a girl who is so similar to him in terms of outer personality has failed to understand Damon (Elena), while a girl who is the complete and total opposite of him in terms of outer personality understands Damon better then anyone else (Bonnie)? The answer is simple. Damon's soul recognizes Bonnie. I know this because if you have read Nightfall, his soul reacts to Bonnie without her even doing anything whatsoever. When Bonnie woke up from her near death, all it took for her to break and crack the stone around Damon's soul and get his soul to burst so strongly is for her to smile and be happy. When Bonnie was feeling joyful and happy that she was alive, Damon felt the same joy in response. And also, for the first time ever, Damon felt an emotion in which he has never felt in his life: JOY AND HAPPINESS. Damon Salvatore never feels happiness. Damon has never felt joy. Damon has only felt hurt, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, abandonment. And Bonnie is actually the first individual to ignite happiness and joy inside of Damon. THAT IS HUGE, PEOPLE.
Even though Damon chooses to continue to deny his feelings for Bonnie, there will come a time when Damon is going to have to face up the feelings. Damon cannot deny the feelings that he has for Bonnie forever. I strongly believe that the feelings in which Damon has for Bonnie are significantly very intense, powerful and deep but the thing is, Damon is terrified. he knows deep down within himself that the feelings that he has for Bonnie are pretty deep and intense but he's so scared of facing them, because Damon has never felt these kinds of feelings in his entire life. For the first time in 5 centuries, Damon's soul has been awakened. That is why Damon has been going through such a roller coaster ride of a journey in terms of his spiritual evolvement. Because if Damon's soul wasn't ignited in the first place, Damon would continue to be the exact same individual that he has been living as for over 5 centuries; an individual who is basically unfeeling, uncaring, thoughtless, careless, violent, hateful, angry, aggressive, etc. Basically an individual who would continue to live in the shadows and in complete darkness. Bonnie is Damon's light. She is his last chance at hope, happiness, redemption, joy and contentedness. Damon will never have this chance again. He will never find this kind of love with someone else. Damon will never find anyone else who will love him so openly, and unconditionally and selflessly the way that Bonnie McCullough does. Damon met Bonnie for a reason. Bonnie is not just some girl that is meant to briefly pop up into Damon's life and then never see again. Bonnie is Damon's last chance at finding the light. If he doesn't take the light, then he will continue to live in eternal darkness. That sounds scary but it's only the truth. For Damon in the books, it's either the path of unhappiness, darkness and misery, or it's the path of happiness, light and contentedness. The path of misery for Damon would be Damon continuously obsessing over someone who will never make him happy (Elena) and refusing to let go of the thing that is holding him back from finding the happiness (Elena again). On the other hand, the path of happiness for Damon would be Damon letting go and finally letting the real, true love in (Bonnie) and finally giving himself a chance to actually love for the first time in his life. Because for as long as Damon has been living both as a mortal and as an immortal, DAMON HAS NEVER ACTUALLY LOVED. And the reason why Damon has never really loved in his life and the proof for this is that his soul has been encased in a sturdy, rock-hard stone for his entire life. How could Damon have ever loved if his soul has been stoned forever? Damon can finally love now because the stone has been cracked and the chains have been broken. And there's only one person solely responsible for that. It's Bonnie. Sweet Songbird Bonnie. Baby Bird Bonnie. Without Bonnie, Damon would probably have never felt again. Damon probably wouldn't have developed any sense of caring for his brother and even for Elena. The main reason why Damon even began to display any kind of caring feelings towards any one in this entire series is because of what Bonnie ignited inside of him since the beginning. Damon's growth throughout the book series didn't start from nowhere. Something had to trigger it. And it must be pretty powerful in order to bring out such a side out of Damon Salvatore. Damon has been someone living in violence, hatred, anger and deep darkness for over 5 centuries. Damon is basically an individual who has endured much psychological, mental, emotional and yes, even physical trauma and abuse (his father used to hit him and abuse him as a young human boy), and because of all that he has endured as both a human and as a vampire, this has all caused Damon to shit off his feelings, his ability to care. Bonnie basically represents Damon's rebirth. She is Damon's chance to start over. And this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for Damon. Because there is and only ever will be one Bonnie. There will never be another. Nobody could have the same impact on Damon the way that Bonnie has or does. Bonnie is special and she is the most important person and influence in Damon's life in the novel series. Yes, they don't have much interactions and scenes with each other in the books, but every single interaction that Damon and Bonnie do share in the books is highly deep, meaningful and precious. This is why Damon himself said that there aren't and never will be two like Bonnie. Bonnie is special to Damon and the truth is, Midnight was proof for me that Damon can't live without her. He needs her because she completes him. She complements him in every way imaginable. Without her, he would feel lost, empty and alone. Bonnie represents everything that Damon has been missing for his whole entire life. The same way that Stefan represents everything that Elena has been missing for her whole entire life and vice versa. Damon can be with another girl, and he can have all the girls in the world chasing him because Damon happens to be the drop dead gorgeous fanged bad boy that most girls go gaga for, but none of those girls will ever compare to his little redbird. Bonnie is Damon's essence. And Damon is Bonnie's essence. Damon has been looking for over 5 centuries for Bonnie but right now, he just doesn't realize it. Damon has been so used to chasing a prize (that current prize being Elena Gilbert) and because of it, Damon has never known what true love is. He's never experienced deep love because he's so consumed with the idea of possessing someone, of having the ideal girl or the ideal mate by his side. For Damon, an ideal mate would be someone who is drop dead beautiful, strong and powerful and Elena embodies what Damon is typically looking for in a mate. That part of the reason why Damon is so inherently obsessed with Elena. Because Elena is what Damon wants and also, what Damon is used to. But Damon is not used to girls like Bonnie. And the truth is, Damon has never met a girl like Bonnie. Because there is ONLY ONE BONNIE. And Bonnie is perfect for Damon. But Damon doesn't realize this because on the outside, his ego is basically telling him and has been telling him all along that Bonnie is not the one or that he could never love someone like Bonnie because of her physical appearance or the fact that she is "childish' and immature mentally, emotionally and physically. Instead of facing the deep feelings for Bonnie, Damon continues to let his ego and conscious rule him and have control over him instead of listening to his heart/soul/subconscious for once. Because if Damon did let himself listen to his subconscious, he would realize what he feels for Bonnie. I think Damon knows what he feels for Bonnie and he acknowledges it but a part of me feels like Damon denies the feelings simply out of fear because he is so scared. And it's only understandable why Damon is scared since he has never endured actual, real and true love before ever in his life.
Bottom line, Damon is deeply and strongly in love with Bonnie but he doesn't realize it because he hasn't and doesn't think of himself as a soul and he doesn't live in a spiritual sense. Damon still lives purely in the ego sense hence why he can't come to admit his feelings for Bonnie. The kind of connection that Damon has to Bonnie; it isn't a physical, mental or even emotional one, it is A SPIRITUAL ONE. The reason why Damon is having such a hard time coming to terms with the feelings for Bonnie is because he hasn't come into his full spirituality yet. Damon is still going through some dramatic changes throughout his spiritual journey and he is still going through an intense process of healing (in which Elena and Stefan have been helping Damon with since the beginning and basically assisting him). Damon still has some healing to do spiritually and because of this, Damon cannot give himself, his best self to Bonnie unless he clears up and heals these spiritual wounds that have been causing him pain for his entire life. However, once Damon has healed fully, Damon will come to realize and recognize the strong and deep feelings that he has for Bonnie; the deep and unconditional love that he has for her and has ALWAYS had for her since the beginning but at the time, couldn't and didn't realize because his inner spiritual self had been so severely wounded, tarnished and damaged for over 5 centuries. This is Elena and Stefan's main mission throughout this series, I believe. Stefan and Elena were brought together to unite in divine love together, not only for themselves but for the purpose of healing Damon spiritually so that Damon could find his way back to the light and return back to love and happiness. Because it is only this way that Damon will ever find true love and happiness. Basically what I am trying to say is that Stefan and Elena have assisted Damon on his spiritual journey and redemption so that they could heal him, cleanse him of his past hurts and pains, all of the deep hurt and pain that has been buried deep inside him for his entire existence. Stefan and Elena basically helped to heal Damon in one way or another and they basically prepared him for Bonnie. Because Damon in this series would never be able to love Bonnie the right way unless he went through a gruelling process of obsessing over Elena Gilbert. Elena Gilbert is Damon's personal growth. She is there simply to help heal him and that is how far as it goes. Bonnie is Damon's purpose. She embodies everything that Damon needs. When Damon comes to realize that, it is only then when Damon will experience ultimate joy and happiness.
Thank you for reading.